Jul 3 2009 Happy 4th Of July Weekend! *BOOM BOOM*
Dearest Reader,
Those were fireworks at the end of the title in case you couldn't tell. *BOOM BOOM* Oh, there went some more! Anyway, this is an incredible *BOOM* cute stop motion video from PES, whose work is always amazing. Now, everyone get out there and have a safe and firework-y holiday. And if my next post doesn't make any sense -- I'm typing with stumps. WHEE!
Love,
Your Geekologie Writer
Thanks to Towhee Monster, who's a little firecracker herself.
Mar 30 2009 Students Attempt Dinosaur Theft, Fail
A group of students, celebrating the end of a school course, decided to steal a life-size triceratops replica from the Dinosaur Museum in Dorchester, England. Unfortunately, they didn't get very far before being stopped by the man. Which is a shame, because I would have bought it from them on the black market.
Deciding to relocate it in the middle of a roundabout as a joke, they set about lifting the 20ft long and 10ft tall plastic triceratops. But just as they carried it off above their heads into the night, they were stopped in their tracks by a policeman.
The revellers were ordered to take the dinosaur back immediately otherwise they would have been arrested for theft and criminal damage.The Dinosaur Museum in Dorchester is packed full of life-sized reconstructions of dinosaurs, alongside skeletons and fossils.
The museum's website says the models 'beg to be touched by little hands - and that is encouraged, as is the handling of some of the dinosaur fossils.'
What the? *booking flight to England* Hello, Dinosaur Museum? Yes, I was wondering about the possibility of renting out your facility for a private party. Number of guests? One. Also, is there a pharmacy nearby? I'm gonna need some lube. Oooh, and boner pills.
Hit the jump for one more of the sexy shenanigans.
Mar 13 2009 I Really Want One: Porkgasm In A Pan
Porkgasm: a pig roast made entirely out of meat -- just like the real thing! And *sniff* probably the most beautiful thing I've ever wanted to put in my mouth. Ha, except for that Fabergé egg. Delicious and nutritious gold.
Hit the jump for a pictorial of how to make a Porkgasm.
Mar 7 2009 Mmmm, Rorschach-y: Watchmen Desserts
Loyal Geekologist Martin has a friend (Jack) who made a cake honoring The Comedian in anticipation of Watchmen, which dropped in theaters yesterday. Also, they made some delicious Rorschach brownies, which I featured after the jump and have been staring at for the past twenty minutes. Tell me, what do you see? If you answered "NOM NOMs" or "a vampire fondling a mermaid in a whirlpool", you are correct. Anything else and you're a crazy person or in love with your mother.
Hit it for the rest of the deliciousness.
Feb 18 2009 Zelda Tattoo Chick Please Contact Me
I don't have any more information except boner. And I like those Oreos. Call me.
Thanks to mikeydubz, who can't have her because she's mine. MINE.
Jan 22 2009 Build Your Own Atari 2600 Controller Lamp
Want to build your own giant Atari 2600 controller lamp? No problem -- all it takes is some power tools, a shit-ton of skill, more patience than my girlfriend, and a month of unemployment. It'll totally be worth it though, right? No, it won't be. And yours will probably look like shit.
Hit the jump for several more of the finished product, along with a link to the very in-depth, and very difficult, instructions.
Continue Reading " Build Your Own Atari 2600 Controller Lamp "
Jan 11 2009 Pixelated Beauties: I'm Just Gonna Pretend They're Naked LEGO Women, Whoo-Whoo!
NOTE: GALLERY PROBABLY NSFW.
This is a gallery of probably NSFW pixelated naked chicks by artist/photographer Jean-Yves Lemoigne. Hit the jump for an uncensored version of this pic, as well as several others. And I must say: Yow yow! They look like super sexy naked LEGO chicks, don't they? This handkerchief says yes! And also, "For The Superficial Writer's tears only". Woopsie.
Hit the jump for the steamy action that, when viewed from across the room, sort of looks like a naked chick if you squint really hard and shake your head.
Continue Reading " Pixelated Beauties: I'm Just Gonna Pretend They're Naked LEGO Women, Whoo-Whoo! "
Nov 28 2008 Mysterious 'Elbowed' Squid Caught On Video
An underwater rover operated by Shell oil company caught some video of a rare Magnapinna (attractive metal penis) squid a mile and half down. And the squishy bastard has elbowed tentacles! WTF! And also, nigiri. Mmmm.
Two more pictures (one old) after the jump, horrible one second video here.
Continue Reading " Mysterious 'Elbowed' Squid Caught On Video "
Nov 6 2008 Scientists Still Hope To Clone Extinct Species
Scientists, spurred on by the passing of Michael Crichton, have kicked their efforts of cloning extinct species into high gear. And I think I speak for all of us here when I say, sex with dinosaurs: it's about freaking time.
Japanese scientists have produced clones of mice that have been dead and frozen for 16 years -- a feat that could lead researchers to one day resurrect long-extinct species, such as the mammoth.Researchers had thought that frozen cells were unusable because ice crystals would have damaged the DNA. That belief would rule out the possibility of resurrecting extinct animals from their frozen remains. But the latest research -- published in the journal, Proceedings for the National Academy of Sciences -- shows that scientists may have overcome the obstacle.
Yes please! Now tell me somebody's got some frozen dinosaur remains around here somewhere. If not, we're going to need to go back in time and get some. Damn, sometimes my profound logic amazes even me.
Scientists hope to clone extinct species [cnn]
Thanks to Jonathan, who fears for a dinosaur apocalypse. Which, incidentally, is my dreamworld.
Aug 29 2008 Labor Day Weekend: Now With More C-String
WARNING: the gallery after the jump is probably NSFW.
What is that, a hair band? Nope, it's underwear -- a C-string. The misnamed C-string doesn't actually have any straps, it's kept on by hugging the vagina and buttcrack. Now that's sexy talk.
C-String has a flexible internal frame that hugs and holds it to the body both securely and comfortably. Your modesty remains safely covered at all times. At the front it looks like sexy underwear, to the rear it has a thong-style strip, and to the sides it has nothing at all!
Wow, this is best thing to happen to underwear since not wearing any. Each vagina-band costs about $26 and is guaranteed to turn heads. And, also, my shoe camera.
Hit the jump for a NSFW Labor Day Weekend C-String Picture Extravaganza!
UPDATE: Added a German video about the C-string with funny subtitles.
Continue Reading " Labor Day Weekend: Now With More C-String "
Aug 22 2008 I Knew It: My Childhood Sucked Without This Kidtropolis Magic Indoor Treehouse Bedroom
Kidtropolis is a company that makes childhood dreams come true, provided your parents shit gold nuggets. This is an almost finished "Magic Treehouse Bedroom" built for the luckiest kid alive. I mean, not only does the youngster get a treehouse, they get one in their bedroom. They probably have an entire Ewok village in the woods behind their house. Me? I don't even have a treehouse anymore. The town came and tore it down. Something about "not building treehouses on telephone poles". You know what I said? "Urban jungle, bitches, urban jungle!" I sure told them.
Hit the jump for a few more pictures of the awesomeness.
Aug 18 2008 The Geekini: Mash Those Buttons!
Similar to the gaming bra we saw before, the Geekini is an NES controller in the form factor of a bikini top and bottom. It's recommended you have a female wear the peripheral, but you can put it on yourself if you're pathetic as hell or have a women's bikini fetish. Just a heads up though: if you do manage to get your girlfriend in it, do not, I repeat, DO NOT throw her through the television if you lose a game. You scored a chick that's willing to wear a game controller bikini and let you mash her boobs. Hold on tight, and also, flat screens are expensive.
Hit the jump to see the whole bikini and where they placed the SELECT and START buttons. Spoiler: The vaj.
Jul 29 2008 $100,000 Jetpack Coming Next Year?
48-year old New Zealander, Glenn Martin, has spent over 26 years developing a jetpack, and believes it may be ready for sale next year. The 250 lb (part of it rests on the ground at idle so you don't have to lift the weight), 200hp, twin-rotor (it's not actually a jetpack) beast produces 600 lbs of thrust and can be flown for over 30 minutes on a tank of gas. Is it safe? Who cares, I want to fly. And, maybe afterwards, learn to swim.
"People come up and go, 'Is it safe?' " Mr. Martin said. "Safety is a relative thing. We think we have done a lot to make this by far the safest jetpack ever built." But, he acknowledged, "It's not a high bar."He added, "I've got to get my head around the fact that at some point, somebody is going to have a very bad experience."
Well, at least he's being realistic. But seriously Glenn, I want to be that somebody.
Hit the link for a video of the thing and a way long article that was really long that I may or may not have read all of.
Jul 25 2008 Italian Chicks In Bikinis Playing Human Tetris
Tetris: awesome. Human Tetris: awesomer. Italian chicks in bikinis Tetris: PEW. PEW PEW PEW!
NOTE: Might be considered NSFW depending on how your employer feels about sexy Italian buttocks.
Youtube (search human tetris for a ton more)
Thanks Ross, want to go to Italy? Also, thanks to Bryan, king of the pew pew pew.
Jul 9 2008 The Jedi Gym Is Awesome, How Do I Join?
Kind of like the Jedi Academy, comes the Jedi Gym. The video is six minutes long, but actually is worth watching if/when you have the time. Mainly for the guy playing Lando Calrissian (that's him in the still) and the awesome plot twist around 4:00. Now I don't want to ruin anything, but let's just say it was pleasantly unexpected. Kind of like the time I walked in on my girlfriend with another chick. Now I know what you're wondering, and no, I was sadly not invited to participate. I was asked to leave and shut the door behind me. And that, my friends, is the story of how I was almost happy once.
Thanks Brennan, that's just what I needed after the last few traumatizing Star Wars videos
May 30 2008 I Want This Boat -- The Wallypower 118
The $33 million Wallypower 118 is the boat of my dreams. Its 118 feet are powered by five engines -- 2 diesels for tooting around the marina, and 3 jet turbines, for pirating at over 70 MPH. At top speed it guzzles a liter of fuel per second, which limits the range of its 22 ton fuel tanks to 400 nautical miles (compared to 1,500 nm if you're just putting around with the diesels at 9 knots). I could go on and on about how I want to get one and pirate my life away, but instead I'll just say this: I take back all the mean things I said about the guy that has sex with cars, because I would totally do this boat.
A TON more pictures that you WILL look at because I spent a lot of time editing them (and there's one of a chick in a bikini from 50 miles away). Also, some videos.
May 14 2008 Japanese Hooter Pudding: Definitely Not The Stuff Bill Cosby Used To Sell, But Should've
Japanese hooter pudding (aka double D deliciousness) are pudding packs that come in the shape of everyone's favorite pillows. That's right, inside the seemingly innocent packaging are two scrumtittilyumptios pudding receptacles. Sheer marketing genius. I love sweater yams and pudding, so this is a match made in heaven for me. Say, did I ever tell you about the time a lady friend and I messed around with some chocolate pudding in the sack? Yeah, it looked like someone shat the bed.
Two NSFW pictures of what's under the packaging, after the jump.
Oh, and can someone send me some?
Apr 17 2008 It's About Time: Massage Pants Are Here!
These are massage pants from the Wenzhou Wonderful Massage Equipment Company. What do they do for you? Well I'll tell you, by copy/pasting the product features.
Product Features: * Built-7 group of super vibration massage, a scientific and rational allocation * Ring far infrared heaters, automatic temperature control, safe and reliable *A variety of massage * Automatic mode * Automatic regularly work 20 minutes * High-performance rechargeable batteries for exclusive use, energy, security
You know, looking at them I could tell they had a scientific and rational allocation of vibration massage. And that makes me really want some. Just a heads up though, I don't think these are technically pants. Because pants are usually longer. These look more like shorts. Shorts that are missing some fabric in the front. You know, so your balls hang out. Wow, these are even awesomer than I first thought. Unfortunately there's a 500 pair minimum order. Anybody want to go halvsies?
Thanks to Zachary, who doesn't need massage pants because he's got a harem that does his massaging for him, for the tip
Mar 27 2008 Plasma Speakers: Awesome As You'd Expect
Plasma speakers have apparently existed since the 50's, but I'd never heard of them because my life up until this point has sucked. The speakers use a plasma arc to create compression waves instead of the traditionally boring magnets and cones. The "pitch is altered by the constantly shifting intensity of the plasma arc (the creator puts the frequency response range at 200Hz to 12kHz, and the speaker runs at 50W)." Kind of reminds me of the Tesla Coil music maker we saw awhile ago. This video is of an FM-based prototype, which I opted to use on the front page instead of the completed setup after the jump, because I just couldn't bring myself to post a video playing Hold Me Now by the Thompson Twins on the main page.
Continue Reading " Plasma Speakers: Awesome As You'd Expect "
Feb 8 2008 Cat Armor Is Awesome, My Cat Wants Some
Jeff de Boer is an artist that believes that cats would look way more awesome if they were wearing some freaking armor. And he's totally right. He's been making armor for animals since the 90's, and started with protective gear for mice (see pictures after jump). He then moved on to his line of cat battle gear, and I've got to say, it looks great. I've got one cat in particular that would look great in these get-ups. His name is Tiny, but we call him the terrorist or Shitty Bill. He would totally rock the hell out of the neighborhood cats if we gave him a suit like this. Of course then the little bastard would probably turn on me and kill me in my sleep. So I'm just going to make him cardboard armor instead. If he's lucky he may get a tinfoil helmet, but definitely no lance.
UPDATE: Shitty Bill cried until I promised him a lance. So I guess I'll make him one out out of a broomstick or something.
UPDATE: Jesus, now he wants a mount to ride.
UPDATE: Tied him to the dog. They look great, totally ready for battle.
A bunch more pictures along with a link to the whole gallery after the jump.
Continue Reading " Cat Armor Is Awesome, My Cat Wants Some "
