Aug 12 2009 I Made It!: Your Geekologie Writer Is 28 Today

Dearest Geekologie Reader,

Against all odds I've survived another year and made it to 28. TWENTY EIGHT! That's like, almost a quarter of a century. So yeah, that's a real picture of me taken a few years ago after I drank my weight in Kool-Aid and went on a sticker binge. Damn I looked good back then. Seriously -- what happened? Anyway, I'm gonna be flying up to New York City today to treat myself to a birthday celebration fit for a Geekologie Writer (read: ice creams). And, because I love you, I already wrote several posts so you lovely folks won't miss me too much while I'm flying. Feel free to fill the comments with birthday wishes or how much you hate me (I'll read them all, so now's your chance to say something), and I'll be back with a full day tomorrow from New York.

Love,

Your Geekologie Writer

P.S. Where's my dinosaur cake. No, really.

Feb 3 2009 Dinosaurs Running Loose In Indiana

That's right folks, apparently a truckload of raptors got loose in Hamilton County, Indiana, and drivers are being unsurprisingly stupid.

"It's kind of crazy. I'm totally confused," said one motorist. "I'm kind of expecting ... dinosaurs to run down the road, or something."

Only in my dreams, stupid motorist, only in my dreams.

'Raptors Ahead' Sign Gets Stares, Chuckles [theindychannel]

Thanks to Jeff, who got my hopes up and then crushed them like Piggy under a boulder.

Nov 30 2008 Christmas Came Early This Year (And You Might Too): Gen¹³ Caitlin Fairchild Cosplay

As the angel of holiday cheer, I felt obligated to post these pictures of some chick cosplaying it up as Caitlin Fairchild from the Gen¹³ comic book series. Honestly, I had no idea who Caitlin was, but now I can safely say that her image is burnt into my retinas. Literally, I used a coat hanger and butane lighter. Hit the jump for three more pics, all of which are significantly cheekier than this one. You catch my drift? I'm talking about her ass -- her ass is hanging out.

Hit it, you want to.

Continue Reading " Christmas Came Early This Year (And You Might Too): Gen¹³ Caitlin Fairchild Cosplay "

Nov 6 2008 Scientists Still Hope To Clone Extinct Species

Scientists, spurred on by the passing of Michael Crichton, have kicked their efforts of cloning extinct species into high gear. And I think I speak for all of us here when I say, sex with dinosaurs: it's about freaking time.

Japanese scientists have produced clones of mice that have been dead and frozen for 16 years -- a feat that could lead researchers to one day resurrect long-extinct species, such as the mammoth.

Researchers had thought that frozen cells were unusable because ice crystals would have damaged the DNA. That belief would rule out the possibility of resurrecting extinct animals from their frozen remains. But the latest research -- published in the journal, Proceedings for the National Academy of Sciences -- shows that scientists may have overcome the obstacle.

Yes please! Now tell me somebody's got some frozen dinosaur remains around here somewhere. If not, we're going to need to go back in time and get some. Damn, sometimes my profound logic amazes even me.

Scientists hope to clone extinct species [cnn]

Thanks to Jonathan, who fears for a dinosaur apocalypse. Which, incidentally, is my dreamworld.

Aug 29 2008 Labor Day Weekend: Now With More C-String

WARNING: the gallery after the jump is probably NSFW.

What is that, a hair band? Nope, it's underwear -- a C-string. The misnamed C-string doesn't actually have any straps, it's kept on by hugging the vagina and buttcrack. Now that's sexy talk.

C-String has a flexible internal frame that hugs and holds it to the body both securely and comfortably. Your modesty remains safely covered at all times. At the front it looks like sexy underwear, to the rear it has a thong-style strip, and to the sides it has nothing at all!

Wow, this is best thing to happen to underwear since not wearing any. Each vagina-band costs about $26 and is guaranteed to turn heads. And, also, my shoe camera.

Hit the jump for a NSFW Labor Day Weekend C-String Picture Extravaganza!

UPDATE: Added a German video about the C-string with funny subtitles.

Continue Reading " Labor Day Weekend: Now With More C-String "

Aug 12 2008 From Me To You On My Birthday: A Gallery Of Women In Princess Leia Golden Bikinis

There's a website out there appropriately named Leiasmetalbikini that is dedicated to, well, Princess Leia's metal bikini. You can buy them, sell them, discuss them, and, most importantly, peruse a huge gallery of chicks dressed in them. I flipped through and posted a bunch of my favorites after the jump (which you WILL look at), but there are literally hundreds -- so make sure to check them out. Just consider this a little gift from me to you. That way, you can't say I never got you anything. Seriously though, this might very well be the most selfless act ever performed on a person's own birthday. Quick, saint me!

Hit it for the MASSIVE gallery.

Continue Reading " From Me To You On My Birthday: A Gallery Of Women In Princess Leia Golden Bikinis "

Aug 12 2008 OMG, I Made It: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Many people think Geekologie is written by a computer preprogrammed with bad jokes or a bunch of fairies strung out on magic dust. Well, that isn't entirely true. You see, I came out of a vagina just like many of you did -- but haven't seen one since. Ladies, that was a birthday present hint. So yeah, I'm a year older today. But that's not gonna stop me from Geeking the ologie for all you lovely people! No way. In fact, I have a very special birthday surprise coming up in a few posts, which you will most certainly find worth celebrating. Also, seeing how my girlfriend will clearly forget today's significance, I was wondering if one of you could, I dunno, maybe pick up an ice cream cake?

Aug 11 2008 It's About Freaking Time: An Invisibility Cloak

Scientists at the University of California Berkeley have announced they're one step closer to the development of an invisibility cloak.

The light-bending effect relies on reversing refraction, the effect that makes a straw placed in water appear bent.

One approach used nanometre-scale stacks of silver and magnesium fluoride in a "fishnet" structure, while another made use of nanowires made of silver.

Light is neither absorbed nor reflected by the objects, passing "like water flowing around a rock," according to the researchers. As a result, only the light from behind the objects can be seen.

The team says the principles could one day be scaled up to make invisibility cloaks large enough to hide people.

Sweeeeet. Can you imagine the chaos once everybody gets their hands on an invisibility cloak? The entire world will collapse and I'll die trapped underneath a bench in the women's locker room.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, that really is me in the picture with an invisibility helmet I've been developing the past couple months. Works like a charm!

Invisibility cloak 'step closer' [bbcnews]

Thanks to Ema, Popadopolis, Paul, and moe mentos, all of whom are ninjas and don't need invisibility cloaks.

Aug 7 2008 Seriously, What Could Go Wrong?: United States Military To Be 30% Robotic By 2020

The U.S. military has a goal -- that it's 30% robotic in twelve years. Why? Because robots don't feel pain, and when they die you just solder them back together or build a bitchin' chair out of the scrap metal.

While advances in robot technology will probably result in more radical robot designs and allow for the military's goal of a 30-percent robotic force, there will always be human involvement in the control process. Researcher Bill Smart had this to say about our future robot army:

"It's a chain of command thing. You don't want to give autonomy to a weapons delivery system. You don't want the robot to make the wrong decision."

Wow, somebody actually talking some sense for once. Clever, Bill. Or should I say smart? Get it? Because that's your last name. No, I'm not making fun of you. Jesus, it was a compliment you jackass.

Anyway, this whole human vs. robot for control of weapons systems is a real Catch 22 (love you Joseph). On the one hand, you don't want robots to have any control over anything, because all they want to do is kill us all and have oily robotic orgies. But on the other hand, you put a man in front of a giant red button that reads "DO NOT PUSH, THE WORLD WILL END" and 9 times out of 10 -- as soon as nobody's watching -- he's got his pants around his ankles and is mashing that thing with his dick like candy's gonna rain from the sky.

U.S. Military To Be 30 Percent Robotic In Twelve Years [io9]

Thanks to Karilyn, whose radiant beauty had originally distracted me from giving her credit for the tip.

Aug 1 2008 I Called It!: The Apocalypse Is Nigh

When running from a robot, you only have to run faster than your children. Which should be easy because you tied their laces together, right? If you answered, "I would never!", then it's been nice knowing you, but you're robot fodder. Anyway, remember the post a while back about Robokiyu (pronounced Robokillyou), a robot used to extract the wounded in emergency rescue situations? Well, unsurprisingly, the robot is now going to be used to eat the dead instead of the living. Why? Because everybody the robot came to "rescue", no matter how badly injured, actually tried crawling away from the damn thing. Can you blame them? Absolutely not. Like my grandpa always told me, "I'd rather have all my red run out than let one of them thar robotech sums of bitches nom nom my gray spaghetti. You understand what I'm tellin' ya, boy?" I'd shake my head "no", but he'd keep right on, "Good, now fetch the hootch and I'll tell you about the time I caught your pa humpin' a tractor."

Weirdest Robots Ever -- Corpse-Eater Bot [asylum]

Thanks Adam and MoMan, now let's take that mother out.

Jul 25 2008 Italian Chicks In Bikinis Playing Human Tetris

Tetris: awesome. Human Tetris: awesomer. Italian chicks in bikinis Tetris: PEW. PEW PEW PEW!

NOTE: Might be considered NSFW depending on how your employer feels about sexy Italian buttocks.

Youtube (search human tetris for a ton more)

Thanks Ross, want to go to Italy? Also, thanks to Bryan, king of the pew pew pew.

Jul 10 2008 iPhone On Sale Tomorrow, This Kiwi Got One

Well folks, in case you had forgotten, the 3G iPhone goes on sale tomorrow. And, apparently, this assblastingcap in the photo was the first to procure said device because he lives in New Zealand, and somehow it's already Friday over there. Anybody understand how that works? I don't. Is the world spinning faster over there or something? Does it have to do with magnets? Is it ever like a full week ahead? Because if so I want to go over there, watch the news from over here, and then fly back and play the lottery real quick once I know the winning numbers. Does anybody do that? Is it illegal?

3G iPhone tomorrow, who's getting one? Who doesn't care? Who thought I was being serious about the whole time travel thing? I'm not stupid, I know it doesn't have anything to do with magnets. It's something about Australia's gravitational influence.

That Guy Got His Stupid iPhone 3G, First [gizmodo]