Nov 16 2009 Pikachu Girl Gets Proposed To By Raichu
Belle Starenchak, better known as Pikachu Girl, or "PikaBelleChu", is now engaged DESPITE MY MUCH EARLIER PROPOSAL. I asked first, jerkbag. I was gonna catch all that!
When Chris Herbert decided to pop the question to his girlfriend of three years, Belle Starenchak, he picked the most romantic place he could think of: Anime Weekend Atlanta, with both dressed as Pokemon. It ... kind of makes sense for them.
Belle, or "PikaBelleChu," is featured in the Guinness Book of World Records: Gamer Edition for her massive Pikachu memorabilia collection, and Herbert met her by staging a Pokemon auction. So while we might be tempted to laugh, it would seem that the pursuit of 'em all is a major component of this couple's lives.
Wow, this story is so full of wow I don't even know where to begin. So I'll just start by saying who the hell stages an auction to meet a woman? That's pretty low. But, admittedly, genius. Which is exactly why you should set up an auction for locks of Edward Cullen's hair in your garage. Don't worry, you can thank me later.
Hit the jump for a video of the proposal.
Continue Reading " Pikachu Girl Gets Proposed To By Raichu "
Nov 5 2009 Shower With 3-D Wrap Around Touchscreen
Listen, I love standing in the shower watching full-length movies as much as the next water waster (which is why I just had a swimming pool sized hot water heater installed), but what's the matter with a traditional projection setup? I swear, people are always trying to one-up me. Too bad I know how to do that turtle shell trick in world 3-1 of the original Super Mario and can get unlimited one-ups. Suck it -- I will always out one-up you!
The Roca Waterdrop Shower Room surrounds you by a 3D touchscreen, allowing you to watch movies while you bathe. The touchscreen also allows you to control the temperature of the water and the intensity of the jets.
I mean, sure if you want to be tacky about it. I think we can all agree the touchscreen is a little much. I would have gone with voice-control. AND WHERE ARE THE LASER EXFOLIATORS? Cheapskates.
Oct 3 2009 It's On eBay: A Sarah Palin Signed XBox 360
Want an XBox 360 signed by Sarah Palin? Me neither. But if you still want to go and blow a cool $1.1 million on one, congratulation, you're an idiot. Also, what's your home address?
The infamous Sarah Palin XBOX 360 was autographed at the governors picnic on July 24, 2009, in Wasilla, Alaska, just two days before her resignation as governor of that state. You can own this 60GB, perfect-condition, one-of-a-kind item before her expected run for president of the United States of America in 2012.
When the governors picnic took place, there were hordes of people trying to see her, but I pushed my way through the crowd to the front of the line. When I was in front of Sarah Palin, I told her that I had traveled three days to see her and asked her to sign my Xbox360. She said it was the most extravagant thing she had ever been asked to sign. I shook her hand, removed myself from the crowd, and then I packed up my Xbox360 and headed home. It was one of the greatest thrills of my life to have watched Sarah Palin on CNN, SNL, Youtube, and then to see her right in front of me.
What the hell's the matter with this guy? Reminds me of all the idiots trying to sell Wii's for $1 million the week before Christmas. Just saying, I wouldn't even pay that for a console signed by Princess Peach AND Zelda. I would pay that for one signed by The Geekologie Writer though. Contact me for more info.
Hit the jump for a picture of Palin signing it.
Continue Reading " It's On eBay: A Sarah Palin Signed XBox 360 "
Sep 21 2009 The World's Most Expensive Booze (Bottle)
The world's most expensive booze is (and I did absolutely no fact checking about this) is a bottle of Chambord valued at $3.24 million. That's too much.
Donald Edge has created with French company Chambord a £2 million bottle of their liqueur to celebrate the new stage version of Breakfast at Tiffany's.
The iconic Chambord Royal orb bottle, hand-wrought from 18 carat yellow gold, will be encrusted with the finest round pearls, over 1,100 exquisitely cut round and pear shaped diamonds, and a square cut emerald diamond.
So, how much if I just want the booze (I've got plenty of empty two-liters!)? Cause, at least according to the Virginia ABC website, they're selling 750ml bottles for $35.50. That means I can get 91,267 bottles for the exact same price! And you know what? That's exactly what I'm gonna do. Glug till I die, bitches!
Chambord Bottle Worth $2 Million [luxuo]
Thanks to Fran, who drinks unicorn blood out of a jewel-encrusted goblet because he doesn't know they're an endangered species.
Sep 4 2009 Balls Of Steel: F-18 Hornet Buzzes Man's Head
This is a video of an F-18 Hornet buzzing some guy's head so close you can taste the jet fuel. Now I'm not saying this thing would kill you if it hit you, but it would certainly mess your hair up. Also, not to brag or nothin', but one time I let a jet land ON MY FACE. Now who's the man?!
F-18 Hornet Ultra Low High Speed Fly By [todaysbigthing]
Thanks to Matt, who once flew a prop-plane through a barn and accidentally hit a chicken.
Aug 30 2009 Crazy Fool Is "Friends" With A Pack Of Lions
This crazy damn fool, Kevin Richardson, runs a wildlife refuge in South Africa and has become a member of a pack of lions. It is probably the awesomest and stupidest thing I've ever seen (and I once saw a friend jump off the top of his parents' townhouse with a trashbag parachute). Just sayin', you remember how Grizzly Man ended, don't you? SPOILER ALERT: As a giant Timmy Treadwell-shaped grizzly turd. But who am I to judge? I'm just a regular guy who bangs dinos. RAWR! YES....YES....EAT ME NOOOOOOOW!
Thanks to Asbo, who was once accepted into a pod of whales but was later rejected when he tried to suckle one's teat.
Aug 28 2009 Real Life Mario Kart Go-Kart Is Super Scary
This is a video of a go-kart with a Honda CBR 900RR motorcycle engine in it. It's the closest thing to a real Mario Kart I've ever seen. I love how the guy driving doesn't even bother wearing a helmet. Because, honestly, heads are overrated, especially when you're drifting into a curve at a billion miles an hour. I guess what I'm trying to say is this: I would have turbo-boosted through those turns, nancy boy!
900RR Go Kart is pure awesome [videosift]
Thanks deadbodyman -- say, you mind helping me get rid of this thing in my trunk?
Jun 14 2009 Golden: ZOMG, WTF Are Those Things?!
Impressive, but mine drag on the pavement.
Loose In DC Tonight: The Mother of All Truck Nutz [wonkette]
Thanks to Spoonman, who may or may not want to give this vehicle a physical.
May 13 2009 Chipmunk Meets The Star Wars Universe
This is a little photo gallery of a friendly chipmunk named Billy exploring the Star Wars universe in Flickr user powerpig's backyard. All the photos are real, Billy just happens to be very receptive to curious Ewoks and stormtroopers (and maybe even a little Chewbacca action!). Heartwarming, isn't it? You keep him distracted, I'll fire up the grill.
Hit the jump for a few more and a link to the entire Flickr gallery.
Mar 11 2009 Lincoln's Pocketwatch Contained Secret Message, Secret Not So Secret Anymore
Apparently a watchmaker who was repairing President Lincoln's watch on the day gunfire broke out at Fort Sumter, SC (sparking the civil war), secretly immortalized the day by engraving a note inside Lincoln's pocketwatch.
The engraving, by watchmaker Jonathan Dillon, is dated April 13, 1861, and reads in part: "Fort Sumpter was attacked by the rebels" and "thank God we have a government."
Forty-five years later, Dillon the watchmaker told The New York Times that he was repairing Lincoln's watch when he heard that the first shots of the Civil War had been fired.Dillon said he unscrewed the dial of the watch and used a sharp instrument to mark the historic day on the president's watch. He told the newspaper that, as far as he knew, no one had ever seen the inscription.
The National Museum of American History agreed to open the watch to see if the inscription was there after being contacted by Dillon's grandson. And lo and behold -- there she blew! Apparently Lincoln never knew about it -- probably because he was too busy chopping down cherry trees. Am I right? What do you mean, "that was Washington?" Carver? I thought he was the peanut guy.
Museum finds "secret" message in Lincoln's watch [reuters]
Thanks to NTF, who found a hidden message in her Tokyoflash. It read "Made in Japan".
Feb 20 2009 Bowtie Camera: Spy Pic Of The New Mac Mini
Is this the rear of the new Mac Mini? Is it just part of an elaborate Photoshop hoax? What's a Mac Mini anyway? Are those real hardwood floors? Did I eat breakfast this morning? Is blogging with the heat exhaust from my laptop blowing on my junk giving me wang cancer?
Answer key: Probably. Probably. Little McDonald's burger. Wood is good, but plastic is fantastic. Sam Adams and Miller Lite. Does a Yeti have two snowballs?
Revealed, the Back End of the Next Mac Mini [uberrreview]
Also, Happy Birthday Cam, the beer's on me! No seriously, I missed my mouth.
Feb 13 2009 Don't Try This At Home: Shooting Friend With Black Powder Powered Nerf Projectile
Note: Video contains a little foul language. Sailors, please ignore this warning.
Basically these asshats stuff a suction-cup tipped Nerf projectile into a real gun, pack the thing full of black-powder, and shoot some guy in the gonads. It looks like it hurts. Skip to about 2:30 for the actual shooting to begin. But warning: you may want to cover your own junk with a coffee cup while you watch. Haha, just make sure it's empty first -- MEDIC!
Tip: don't fire a Nerf dart out of a real gun [dvice]
Thanks to Ryan, who once shot a friend in the ass with a blow-dart gun and would have gotten his ass kicked had he not coated the dart in poison frog.
Feb 6 2009 True Love: Guy Wakes Up After One Night Stand, Woman Carved Her Name Into His Arm
Oh wow, I thought this sort of thing only happened in romance novels. Apparently Wayne Robinson, went over to Dominque Fisher's house for a little sex after a night of drinking and Valium, and woke up the next morning with her name carved into his arm and a bunch of other cuts. Valium: sleep through anything.
When I woke I was covered in blood. Dominique was snoring. I just had to get out of there. I didn't even wake her to ask what she'd done.'
'I'm scarred for life,' he told The Sun. 'I wish I'd never met her.'He said: 'I went to her place for sex, not to be tattoed. I can't believe she did this to me and I hate her.
Haha, that's what you get, Wayne. Getting cut is the non-collegiate equivalent of waking up with a giant Sharpie penis on your cheek. That said, don't lie -- you'd hit it again.
Hit the jump for a picture of the couple (both very good looking) and another of the rest of the damage.
Feb 5 2009 Verizon Customer Service Reps Fail At Math
This is a call to Verizon in which neither of the two customer service reps that get on the phone can distinguish the difference between $0.002 and 0.002¢. Thank God that wasn't me, because I would have shot a laserbeam out of my eyes and accidentally killed the cat. No, I don't have a cell phone, so I don't have to worry about incompetent customer service reps. But what I do have to worry about is rats gnawing through my land line. I saw one drag a whole loaf of bread behind the refrigerator!
Thanks to Joel, Chad and Ollie Williams, who once killed a 411 operator for giving them the wrong number to a nudey bar.
Feb 4 2009 Man Vows To Eat Only Bacon For A Month
Mike Nelson (of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame) has vowed to only eat bacon for the month of February. Why? Because it's delicious. And healthy.
Now for the fine print: "Bacon" shall hereafter refer to the cured and smoked fatty cuts of pork, either back, side or belly. In other words "American bacon". No "Canadian bacon", which is really just lunchmeat. No pork chops. No turkey bacon. No "tofacon" or any such horror. Just bacon.
No condiments allowed. No syrups, or hot sauces, or pureed vegetables in the form of ketchup. No sauces at all. Just nature's finest bacon, all by its dignified self.I am making allowances for the following beverages: beer, wine, martinis and water. No juices, no V8, nothing that could be construed as "healthy". This is somewhat arbitrary, I grant you, but one bit of madness at a time, is my reasoning.
So far things are going without a hitch on day four, but he'll be dead by mid-month. RIP in advance, Mike.
Bacon Stupidity [rifftrax]
Thanks to Kevin, who once vowed to only eat pastrami for a month. He made it to brunch.
Dec 8 2008 Will You Marry Me?: Another Pokeman Fanatic
As many of you probably don't know because I'm just now making it up, I love Pokemon. Pikachu, that lovable little electric turd, really does something to me. Something deep down in my heart, near the cockles. And I just found out I'm not the only one! That's right, this crazy chick is even more Pokemontastic than yours truly. And that's saying a lot (reference legally changing name and having sex with a stuffed animal). Just check out all that crap! That's a lot of crap! Hit the link to see even more, including a decked out Pokemon car! WTF! Amazingly, this woman can probably still have sex in that room, so why can't I? I show a girl my bedroom (aka Pikachu's Pleasure Dome) and she's running for the door almost as soon as the Pokemon theme starts playing. Can somebody say double standard? And also, double bed. Just saying, Pikachu sheets. Ladies?
Hit the jump for more of what even weekly meetings can't help.
Continue Reading " Will You Marry Me?: Another Pokeman Fanatic "
Dec 4 2008 Annoy Coworkers With The Annoyatron 2.0
The Annoyatron 2.0 is a little gadget that makes annoying noises at random so you can drive a very special coworker to the point of stabbing you and/or stealing your lunch from the communal fridge. The sounds are as follows:
-15kHz (Mosquito tone) (full volume)
-Cricket chirping (medium/low volume)
-IM Doorbell (low volume)
-Grating Electronic noise (full volume)
-Typical Electronic Beep (medium volume)
Just hide the little board in somebody's office, don your stab-proof jacket, and wait for the insanity to set in! Don't have a stab-proof jacket? Well you're in luck -- I happen to be selling them! They may just look like garbage bags, but you have The Geekologie Writer's personal guarantee they are real garbage bags.
Annoy-a-tron 2.0 Lets You to Slowly Drive Your Co-Workers Insane Just for Fun [gizmodo]
Thanks to 42 y/o undead warlock, who doesn't need an Annoyatron, because he's got warlock powers and shit.
Dec 2 2008 'Tis The Season....To Crack Nuts?
With Jesus's b-day rapidly approaching, it's time to bust out the eggnog and nutcrackers and have a holly jolly boozefest. Am I right? And what sort of holiday spread is complete without nuts? Man, I freaking love nuts. Filberts, walnuts, pistachios, almonds, I gobble them all. And you know what they say about almonds don't you? Eight almonds a day, uh, keeps pederasts at bay? I don't actually know if they say that, but I'm gonna start. Anyway, this is a Star Wars nutcracker set available from Hammburgler Slumlordicus (that's two in one day!). 99 coconuts takes the whole set.
Darth Vader stands 10" tall and is draped in a vinyl cape, capped by his signature black helmet. He holds his red lightsaber and is decorated with details including vinyl boots, his breathing apparatus, and chest control unit. R2-D2 stands 7" tall displaying his handpainted circuitry; his anterior louvered vents conceal the "cracker." Master Jedi Yoda stands 7 1/2" tall with his walking stick and his humble burlap robe. Non-functional, they are for decorative purposes only.
Now wait just a long time ago minute! Non-functional? How hard is it to make the damn things functional? Isn't a nutcracker just a freaking hinge? WTF! I'll tell you what -- you just can't bust a nut like you used to. Wow, did I just go there? I did. I went there, I raged, I burnt the village down, I came back, got drunk again, lost a shoe, and puked in the other one. Now it's all mushy when I walk. And it stinks. But I'd still drink out of it. Hardcore. HARDCORE!
Thanks to James and Allison, who can both crack nuts between their pinky and ring finger because they're from that same planet Superman is from. Krypton. They're from Krypton.
Dec 1 2008 The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking With Balls. Alternatively, Developing An Eating Disorder
Wow. Last week it was cooking with paste, and this week, actual balls. The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking with Balls is completely uncalled for and contains many delicious rocky mountain oyster recipes. An excerpt from the 'About The Author' section:
Ljubomir Erovic has been cooking testicles for over 20 years.
When not cooking or eating testicles, or helping others to do so, he now runs a company involved in the maintenance of medical and dental equipment.He is married with one daughter and one testicle.
*HORF* When will the insanity end? I completely understand the "waste not, want not" mentality of using all possible edibles on an animal, but the balls? Those things weren't made for eating -- they were made for necklaces. BLING!
Hit the jump to see how to properly peel a testicle and a testicle pizza. Both of which will make you puke if you've eaten recently. Cheers!
Nov 14 2008 FAKE!: Guy Loses His Cool In Hotel
There are few joys in life like laughing at some poor bastard's misfortune. Which is why I loved this video so much. Unfortunately, it's fake and actually an ad for Cisco's Integrated Communications or some such poppycock. I know, major letdown. It's still worth a viewing though. I mean, it's Friday and you've already started drinking. You have already started drinking, right? Come on, have a couple cocktails with me. They'll make lunch taste that much better!
Thanks to Mike, who once blew up in line at Target. Nobody survived.
