Jul 24 2009 Handerpants: Underpants For Your Hands
Handerpants are a real product and apparently people are willing to pay $12 for them. Amazing -- even in a recession some people can't get their fill of novelty underwear. Or booze. I'm gonna stick with booze. I CAN HAZ GLUG?
Are you really naked under those gloves? For Pete's sake, put on some Handerpants! These 95% cotton, 5% spandex, fingerless gloves have the look and feel of men's briefs. Slip them on underneath your gloves for extra warmth and protection from chafing! Wear them on their own as a vaguely inappropriate fashion statement! Hundreds of uses! Fits most adult hands.
Yeah, well what if I have child-sized hands? Should I stuff a sock in these too? NOT THAT I'VE EVER DONE THAT (I use an old sweatshirt).
Hit the jump for a fairly painful infomercial for the things.
Jul 23 2009 By Popular Demand: Novelty Eagle Heads
Due to to the excessive interest in the novelty eagle heads available in Ghetto Baskets, Geekologie loyalist Pew³ managed to track down some relatively inexpensive ($5.68) ones for all your bird head needs. Per the review I just wrote and submitted:
By far one of the best novelty eagle heads I've owned. The beak is yellowish, I swear the eyes follow me around the room and it's plumage cascades down the rocks like a waterfall. 4.33 (repeating of course) out of 5 CAWS. CAW CAW CAW CAW C!
Wow, I should really write product descriptions. Also, romance novels. So a dinosaur walks into a bar....
Thanks to Pew³, who knows a quality resin eagle head when he sees one.
Jul 16 2009 *Ring* Hello -- Death?: Novelty Skull Phone
I honestly thought novelty phones went out of style when people stopped using land lines, but hey, maybe your grandparents want a damn skull phone. That's cool. Just don't let them get on the interwebs lest they hand their life savings over to a Nigerian prince. Anyway, the $25 Thriller Skull Phone from Brando is available in white and metallic copper finishes and has blue LED eyes that light up when the phone is ringing. Sadly, it's not even cordless. WHO THE HELL STILL USES CORDED PHONES? Fun fact: I saw a payphone the other day. Did you know we still had those? Me neither. There was a hooker standing nearby and everything.
brando's thriller skull phone: so this is what happened to skeletor [technabob]
Thanks to FDSY and cakey, who make all their calls the old fashioned way: by yelling.
Nov 7 2008 Why God, Why?: A Welcome Mat Mouse Pad
I've seen it all now. A $13 mouse pad that looks like a welcome mat. Jesus, what will they think of next? And could it possibly be this freaking stupid?
UPDATE: Jesus said their next pad is gonna look like a little mouse cage. Aaaaaand I'm out. *BANG*
Thanks to Reece, who knows that the only good mouse pad is a bearskin rug.
Oct 9 2008 Uh-Oh, I Think We're Sinking: Titanic Ice
A couple of days ago it was ice bullets and today, ice boats. The Titanic to be precise. Gin & Titonic ($7.49) by Fred are little boat and iceberg shaped ice molds meant to resemble the Titanic. Buy several sets to play drinking Battleship!
Thanks to Karina, who I'd risk drowning in a sea of gin to save any day.
Sep 4 2008 Gun O'Clock: It's Time To Shoot Something!
The Gun O'Clock is similar in design to this alarm, and puts a new spin on the "annoying as all hell" alarm clock market. When the "Pi Pi Pi Pi Pi Pi Pi" alarm sounds, a target pops up and you have to shoot the bullseye enough times to stop the noise and reset the target. The $40 alarm is currently available for preorder and is sure to make getting up a lot more shooty. Or you can do what I do and do a little bedroom skeet shooting in the morning. Pull! BLAM BLAM Damn, I am the L337 shooter. Did you see that, honey? Honey? Oh shit. Quick, somebody help me flip the mattress.
Product Page
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Morning Target Practice- Gun O'clock [rinkya]
Sep 4 2008 The My Document Laptop Bag: Honestly, Who Needs More Than One Document Anyway?
Remember when the Macbook Air came out with that commercial of the computer fitting in an envelope and that singer that I think I want to have sex with singing that song that's really catchy? And then how people actually started making laptop envelopes like the one in the ad so they can make a quick buck to support their drug habits? Me neither, but apparently it happened. And now there's another novelty laptop carrier on the market -- the $30 My Document!
So, we figured, why not extend that already abused metaphor by storing the device that stores your "My Documents" folder in a "My Documents" folder of its own? Behold - this neoprene laptop sleeve is big enough to snugly house your laptop, up to 15.4 inches, inside. The inner fleece lining keeps everything shiny and scratch-free. Plus, we've included the pixilated cursor-pin to ram that concept home.Guaranteed to turn heads when you pull your laptop out!
Oh man, you will seriously turn so many heads when you pull your laptop out of this bag! Twice the number if you whip your pecker out simultaneously.
Hit the jump for a few more product pictures.
Continue Reading " The My Document Laptop Bag: Honestly, Who Needs More Than One Document Anyway? "
Feb 12 2008 To-Do Tattoos Are Ridiculously Ridiculous
To-Do Tattoos are temporary tattoos that say "to do..." and then have seven lines to write shit on. Now call me crazy, but I don't really need lines in order to write things on my hand. I've always scribbled important things to remember there, long before the advent of To-Do Tattoos. That being said, that person's list is ridiculous. Like they're going to buy milk and then go climb Everest. Get real. That person needs to add "lay off the PCP" and "stop making unreasonable lists" to their to do's. Now the other smaller list on the packaging, that one seems legit. "Buy eggs, light bulbs, sand paper, bacon, kitty litter, vodka". Mmm, that sounds gooood. Kitty litter and broken bulb omelets with a side of 120 grit and a cold glass of vodka -- just like mom used to make.
No PDA? Tattoo your to-dos [cnet]
Thanks to Darren, who doesn't need to-do lists because others always do the work, for the tip
