Aug 20 2009 Not Worth It: Shop Keeper Fights Laptop Away From Thief WHILE AVOIDING PEWs
This is a video of a shop keeper in Mexico fighting his laptop away from two would be thieves while being shot at. Now I'm not saying this guy has cojones de oro, but I am saying he must have some seriously illegal shit on that laptop.
Store Clerk Dodges Bullet to Keep His Laptop From Getting Stolen [gizmodo]
Jul 22 2009 Sadness: Lost iPhone Prototype Drives Chinese Factory Worker To Suicide
And in a bit of sad news, a Chinese factory worker jumped to his death after losing track of an iPhone prototype he was responsible for shipping to Apple.
The dead worker, Sun Danyong, 25, worked in product communications at Foxconn Technology Group, a Taiwanese firm that makes many Apple products at a massive factory in the southern city of Shenzhen, near Hong Kong.
Sun was responsible for sending iPhone prototypes to Apple, and on July 13 he reported that he was missing one of the 16 fourth-generation units in his possession, the newspaper reported. His friends said company security guards searched his apartment, detained him and beat him, the paper reported.Apple Inc. responded Wednesday by saying its suppliers are required to treat workers with dignity and respect.
Blood phones, just sayin'.
Chinese Worker Kills Self Over Missing iPhone [foxnews]
Thanks to Gino, who would have just burned the factory to the ground to cover up the loss. Smart thinking.
Mar 23 2009 At Least He Was Honest: Internet Scam Fail
I can't even count the number of times I've been contacted by Nigerian princes to help move their money out of the country. Unfortunately, I don't keep a bank account because that's just another way the man tries to keep tabs on my brothel me on a short leash. Anyway, I like how the scammer comes out of character at the end with a "thanks man". That was great. Not as great as my love for you, but I have a big heart. And hands. Hey, did you know if your hand is bigger than your face you'll die young? It's true -- you should try it. *SMACK-A-POW* Wow, I can't believe you fell for that. Ha, or when I told you I loved you.
Thanks to Joemo, who once conned an old lady out of her retirement by having sex with her. Gross, Joemo.
Jan 29 2009 Guy Selling Himself As Slave On eBay
I'm pretty sure by definition you can't sell yourself as a slave for a month, because that kind of negates the whole slavery thing. This guy is basically a really douche-y manservant. I mean, he's no Alfred.
What we have for auction today is a slave, a very fit male slave. He is twenty-four years of age, measure five foot ten inches, and weighs eleven stone. This slave is college educated, hard working, and ready to tackle any task you may have for him.
The terms of the auction are as follows.The winning bidder will receive the slave seen in the picture for a period no less than 28 days, but for no more than a period of 31 days.
The winning bidder must be able to provide shelter for the slave in the form of a spare bedroom, a couch, a tent, a hammock, or a tree-house.
The slave is not a sexual slave, and will not under any circumstances partake in any form of sexual activities with his master. This auction is not sexual in anyway shape or form. DO YOU HEAR ME EBAY, THIS IS NOT SEXUAL! OK THANKS!
The slave will not follow any instruction that will most likely result in his death or serious disfigurement.
I dunno, I thought about buying him to walk up and down the highway in the snow with a sandwich board advertising Geekologie, but then I realized I'd probably be too tempted to run him over myself. And what does 'serious disfigurement' mean? Does cutting off a finger count? Because I only consider that minor disfigurement. Quick, to Wendy's!
Hit the jump for two more pictures of the questionable slave.
Jan 25 2009 Vroom Vroom For Six, Please: A Racecar Limo
This street-legal racecar limo is actually available for hire and can allegedly reach up to 300MPH. Of course your sissy of a driver will probably never top 65MPH, but that's because this whole idea is stupid. Unless you get a couple highspeed track runs before going to you to the dance, in which case, maybe. All I'm saying is if I had gone to prom in that mother, I most certainly would have gotten to touch a boob. And by touch a boob I obviously mean cop a feel. I'm thinking the old "sudden braking" reach across.
Jan 12 2009 Soiled Pants: The World's Scariest Hiking Trail
And that, my friends, is why I never leave the house.
Youtube
Thanks to The free faller, who took one wrong step.
Jan 8 2009 Highly Questionable Yellow Glasses Supposed To Prevent Computer-Related Eye Fatigue
Gunnar glasses ($100 - $189!!!!!!!!!!) come in cleverly named styles like Bit Surfer, Wi-Five and El Doucherino, and are supposed to prevent the eye fatigue caused by blogging eight hours a day. That's right ladies and gentlemen....prepare to experience "Enhanced Computer Vision".
Ever wonder why your eyes get tired after staring at a PC screen for hours? Gunnar says it's because of the LCD screen's cold color temperature. According to these folks, the bluish tints your PC screen displays strains the eyes, you don't blink as much and your eyes don't hydrate.
So the yellow makes your screen look warmer, and as a result you blink more and your eyes don't get tired. Pffft, what nonsense. Your eyes get tired from staring at a computer eight hours a day BECAUSE YOU'RE STARING AT A GODDAMN COMPUTER EIGHT HOURS A DAY. The only things worse for your eyes are reading fine print and staring at the sun. Or getting one pecked out by a parrot. F*CK YES I WEAR MY EYEPATCH WHEN I BLOG!
Jan 3 2009 Questionable: Fridge Door Can Caddies
What the hell is a Fridge Door Can Caddy? It's a piece of molded plastic that holds four cans vertically in the refrigerator door so you can save space. And, as an added bonus, it comes with a handle so you can grab your brew and run should the cops come to raid your meth lab (I'm on to you!). $10 gets you a set of two. Also, $10 to anyone who can explain why there's a 3:1 soda to beer ratio in the picture. Who the hell only takes one beer somewhere? Well, except the shower.
Beer Can Door Caddy Might Just Save the Environment From Beer Fridges [uberreview]
Dec 30 2008 Spoiled Brats: The Cloud 9 Radio Flyer
The Cloud 9 by Radio Flyer is thankfully just conceptual at this time because no child, I don't care if they pick platinum boogers, deserves to ride around in such opulence. The questionable Flyer comes complete with two seats, MP3 player, speaker system, 5-point racing harnesses, and a digital display with temperature, odometer, and speedometer readouts. If the Cloud makes production, expect around a $1,000 pricetag. And to think: I spent my youth being pushed around in a wheelbarrow. For shame.
Radio Flyer Cloud 9 Wagon Crushes My Youthful Memories With MP3 Player, Bucket Seats [gizmodo]
Dec 23 2008 Do You Piss Liquid Gold?: A $400,000 Watch
The Cabestan Winch Tourbillion Vertical Watch is utterly ridiculous and has 1,352 parts (in comparison, my sundial has two). It's "driven by a 450 link chain and nickel silver drums" and looks like it'll break just putting it on. The base model will set you back $275,000, but if you want that shit to have platinum and diamonds and a set of grillz it'll be $400,000. I have no idea what makes the thing tell time, but if I had to guess, I'd say it's something to do with a winch. And speaking of which -- more beer you wretched beast!
Mad props in advance to everyone that's going to use their comment to tell me beer wench is spelled with an e.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the awesomely constructed movement.
Continue Reading " Do You Piss Liquid Gold?: A $400,000 Watch "
Oct 31 2008 Track That Ass With Some GPS Lingerie
The "Find Me If You Can" lingerie line from Brazilian designer Lucia Lorio comes with a GPS-uplink unit inside so you can catch your woman jumping some other guy's bones if she's really stupid and don't know there's a brick-sized piece of electronic equipment conspicuously sewn into her undergarment. The different styles sell between $800 and $1,100 and definitely aren't worth it. If you really want to keep track of your woman, and on the cheap, I've got three words for you: rope, and tree. Kidding! She's gonna need a water bowl too.
Designer Lingerie Has Embedded GPS-Uplink For Lady Location [gizmodo]
Thanks to Mpoo Zea, who once went geocaching and found a leprechaun's gold. Gimme the gold. I want the gold.
