Nov 13 2009 Yeah, No: Video From Top of The Burj Dubai

This is a video taken from the top of the Burj Dubai, the tallest building in the world, at 2,684 ft. Jesus, that's half a mile. Can you believe humans are even capable of this? I can't -- I shit my swim trunks on the high dive once. But, to my credit, I did do one hell of a cannonball.

This Video From the Tip Top of the Burj Dubai Makes Me Sick to My Stomach [gizmodo]

Thanks to Rick, who has dived off higher platforms into a cup of water. I mean, he died, but he did do it.

Nov 5 2009 Shower With 3-D Wrap Around Touchscreen

Listen, I love standing in the shower watching full-length movies as much as the next water waster (which is why I just had a swimming pool sized hot water heater installed), but what's the matter with a traditional projection setup? I swear, people are always trying to one-up me. Too bad I know how to do that turtle shell trick in world 3-1 of the original Super Mario and can get unlimited one-ups. Suck it -- I will always out one-up you!

The Roca Waterdrop Shower Room surrounds you by a 3D touchscreen, allowing you to watch movies while you bathe. The touchscreen also allows you to control the temperature of the water and the intensity of the jets.

I mean, sure if you want to be tacky about it. I think we can all agree the touchscreen is a little much. I would have gone with voice-control. AND WHERE ARE THE LASER EXFOLIATORS? Cheapskates.

Install a 3D wraparound touchscreen in your shower [dvice]

Oct 30 2009 Making Not So Beautiful Music Together

Ever wanted a toilet seat that looks like a guitar? It's not high on my list of priorities either, but if you already have every other thing in the world maybe it's time for one. Jammin' Johns come in guitar and piano varieties and will set you back about $180. They go perfect in music themed bathrooms. Which -- oh God please tell me you don't have a themed bathroom. Unless it's beach themed, those are fine. I love the little shell soaps!

Hit the shot for another guitar and a shot of a piano.

Continue Reading " Making Not So Beautiful Music Together "

Oct 29 2009 Another Halloween, Another The Same Couple Of Guys Dressed As Giant iPhones

Have a spare flat-screen television sitting around and want to trick-or-treat as a giant iHole iPhone? Me neither. But these two guys did (who, it turns out, are the same cats in this video with their 2007 iPhone costumes), and more power to them. And by more power I mean less candy. GET OFF MY LAWN!

Youtube

Thanks to Bryan, ViLLaiN, ashlyn and Chrissy, who will be trick-or-treating as total badasses. (No costumes necessary)

Oct 29 2009 I See You!: 8x Zoom Case For Nintendo DSi

Want an 8x zoom lens for your DSi because you're secretly a spy? Me neither. Want an 8x zoom lens for your DSi because you're in love with the receptionist at the free clinic and you want to candidly take pictures of her? You've got problems. But if you've also got $25 you can have the Nyko DSi Zoom Case, a case and lens that attach to your DSi and allow up to 8x zoom. Plus, it's super inconspicuous. Goodbye bow tie camera!

Hit the jump for a shot of it's zooming capabilities and all the accessories.

Continue Reading " I See You!: 8x Zoom Case For Nintendo DSi "

Oct 21 2009 Oh Wow: Illegal Alien Halloween Costume

This is a Illegal Alien Halloween costume that's just been pulled from Target and Amazon. I wouldn't wear it, and not just because masks make it harder to drink.

Many are outraged over an "Illegal Alien" costume that depicts its wearer as a space alien in a prison jumpsuit brandishing a giant "green card." Understandably, those concerned over immigrant rights see this as a swipe at the Hispanic community.

The products official description reads:

"He didn't just cross a border, he crossed a galaxy! He's got his green card, but it's from another planet! Sure to get some laughs, the Illegal Alien Adult Costume includes an orange prison-style jumpsuit with 'Illegal Alien' printed on the front, an alien mask and a 'green card.'"

Listen, I promised myself I wouldn't use this blog to push my own political agenda on you folks, so I'm not going to. But I am going to use it to shamelessly self promote and sell some t-shirts. So buy my book and some t-shirts, damnit.*

*Book and t-shirts possibly coming soon. Maybe.

'Illegal Alien' Costume Being Pulled from Some Store Shelves [hispanicbusiness]

Thanks to Alex, who has been a pirate four years running and is going for a fifth. Of rum. HIYO!

Oct 19 2009 DIY: Homemade Exoskeleton Costume

Looking for a Halloween costume idea? Have lots of time and silver spraypaint? Then you can build your own exoskeleton (suck it, regular skeletons!) like Mario Caicedo Langer the creepy starer. Just don't go showing up in these parts expecting candy OR I WILL BURN YOU WITH A CAULDRON OF SCALDING BAT'S BLOOD. You're not purple nurpling me with that robot hand!

Amazing homemade exoskeleton costume puts my homemade exoskeleton to shame [dvice]

Oct 15 2009 Brass, Glass And Ass: A Steampunk Toilet

This is a picture of a highly questionable steampunk toilet. This is just the tank here, you have to actually watch the video after the jump to see the brass (painted) seat and shit (but not literally, the bowl's clean). Still, a cup holder, that's smart. Who knew those Victorians were such forward thinkers? BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T. I'm pretty confident they pissed in clay jugs or, worse, right out the window. Which, OMG, I'm relieving myself oldschool style! Haha -- sorry Mrs. Harding, but you should watch where you're walking!! Cute dog.

Hit the jump for a the video of the brass throne in action.

Continue Reading " Brass, Glass And Ass: A Steampunk Toilet "

Oct 14 2009 Bottle Tops: Because Cans Can Be Tricky

Bottle Tops are plastic lids that snap onto aluminum cans. You know, because you're too special needs to drink out of a can without spilling. Jesus, ask your mom for a sippy-cup already. However, if you absolutely must, a 12-pack of different colors will set you back $10. But be warned!

But seriously the tops of canned drinks can be really dirty; one commenter on Boing Boing Gadgets agrees with me and gives the thumbs down to the Bottle Tops as well. But the others say that it's perfect for beer for a couple of reasons - one, because it keeps the carbon dioxide from escaping, so you don't have to worry about not being able to empty huge cans of booze, and two, because if you cover the can itself the bottle top makes it look like you're drinking an energy drink.

No. But you know what IS perfect for beer? My mouth. Which, MEDICAL FACT: is also perfect for burritos!

Hit the jump for the terrible tv commercial.

Continue Reading " Bottle Tops: Because Cans Can Be Tricky "

Oct 12 2009 Eh: Marge Simpson In Upcoming Playboy

Whee, Marge Simpson is gonna be in the upcoming November issue of Playboy. Great, like I haven't already seen her naked a million times in those racy cartoon pop-ups that I got from that sketchy hentai porn site came pre-installed on my computer.

Playboy said the cover and a three-page picture spread inside was a celebration of the 20th anniversary of the "The Simpsons" and part of a plan to appeal to a younger generation of readers.

Scott Flanders (IRONIC!), the recently-hired chief executive of Playboy Enterprises, told the Chicago Sun-Times in an interview that the Marge Simpson cover and centerfold was "somewhat tongue-in-cheek."

"It had never been done, and we thought it would be kind of hip, cool and unusual," Flanders told the newspaper. He said the magazine hoped to attract readers in their 20s compared to the average Playboy reader's age of 35.

Right, "hip, cool and unusual". Listen, Playboy, this guy sucks. You want somebody to help you appeal to a younger, more influential demographic, I'm your man. And by man I mean huckleberry. You're no Daisy -- you're not Daisy at all! Wow, that just took on an all new, much sadder meaning.

Marge Simpson makes cover of Playboy [yahoonews]

Thanks to Scarlet, Camille, john and Duke, who aren't stimulated by cartoons because they're sexually repressed. Geez, you guys need some Saturday morning therapy.

Oct 11 2009 Speak For Yourself: Scientists Claim We Would Never Survive A Zombie Apocalypse

According to a couple of Canadian researchers, the human race could never weather a zombie uprising. Pfft, speak for yourselves, Canucks -- I'M A SURVIVOR!

Based on models of rampant infectious diseases, say researchers, civilization would be doomed if we were ever attacked by zombies.

If society were ever attacked by zombies, we would probably be doomed, and quickly. That was the conclusion of two university researchers in Ottawa, Ontario, who set up mathematical models hypothesizing zombie attacks as infectious diseases with the well-known characteristics of zombie biology from popular fiction. In fact, according to a July BBC News report, zombies are more threatening than virulent diseases because they can regenerate (unless decapitated or incinerated, of course). More troubling was the researchers' presumption that zombies move slowly, as in older movies, but in recent fiction, they're super-quick, making them nearly invincible.

Oh man, as much as I do respect a couple of Canadians with calculators plugging away at a mathematical model they created using the info they gathered from Shawn of the Dead and Zombieland, this is one blogger who isn't succumbing to the zombie apocalypse. Robot, sure, but not zombies.

News of the Weird: Based on models of rampant infectious diseases, say researchers, civilization would be doomed if we were ever attacked by zombies [yahoonews]

Thanks to Gideon, who isn't going out in any sort of apocalypse. Except perhaps a sexpocalypse. Just kidding!

Oct 9 2009 Yeah, But Can It Fly?: Amphibious WaterCar Does 60MPH On Both Land And Sea

The $200,000 WaterCar is the lovechild of a Corvette that fell in love with a cigarette boat. But, like having sex with a mermaid, everyone will tell you it was just a manatee.

Get a Corvette engine, rig it up with a Dominator Jet drive, and then strap it into a floating car, and you get the WaterCar Python, the fastest and highest-performing amphibious vehicle in the world. If zipping over the water at a top speed of 60mph doesn't float your boat, it'll accelerate on land at a neck-snapping 0-to-60 speed of a mere 4.5 seconds.

Call me old fashioned, but I like all my vehicles single-purpose. If it drives on the road, I don't want it in the ocean or sky. I mean, that's just more stuff to go wrong. And wrong, my friends, is the opposite of right. And two Wrights made an airplane. ZING! Thanks for that one, dad.

Hit the jump for several more shots and a video of the thing in action (worthwhile stuff starts at 0:50).

Continue Reading " Yeah, But Can It Fly?: Amphibious WaterCar Does 60MPH On Both Land And Sea "

Oct 6 2009 Yikes!: Vampire Teeth Baby Pacifiers

As if babies aren't scary enough already, now you can get $7 vampire teeth pacifiers that make them look like they're gonna suck blood instead of breast milk. No way -- not from this teat!

Billy Bob pacifiers for babies with personality. You will receive this hilarious, Lil' Vampire Billy Bob pacifier. It is brand new in manufacturers' packaging.

WARNING: Do not tie pacifier around child's neck, as it presents a strangulation danger.

Geez, who on earth would ever tie a pacifier around a child's neck? I mean, besides your parents. One time they left you on top of the car and drove off!

Product Site
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Halloween Lil' Vampire Pacifier Makes Babies Scary Even While Sleeping [walyou]

Sep 14 2009 Burn It!: Ghost Table Held Up By Black Magic

I'm not even going to begin to try and understand how this table stays erect, but I think it has something to do with the dark arts (or boner pills). Whatever the case, the acrylic table was designed by John Brauer and reminds me a little of the painted table we featured awhile back. Not a ton, but a little. Also, I went to get some frozen tart yogurt yesterday and the place was all modern and had clear tables. Yeah, I tried to set my sundae down and missed. 30-second rule! (I lapped that shit off the floor like a dog)

Clear Acrylic Grand Illusion Is a Designer Table Without the Table [gizmodo]

Sep 14 2009 Norwegian Viking Man Changes Name To Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov

The beast seen here, best known for once sinking a rival Viking's ship with a single whip of his fiery mullet, has changed his name. He used to be Andreas Jankov. But nooooow he's Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov. You've got to admit: it does have a ring to it.

"I wanted to show that it is possible to be serious and at the same time take the name you like," said the film enthusiast. "I wanted to see how far I could take it with respect to the number of names. I started thinking about this three years ago and it was approved in January this year."

Thanks to our commenters, we've been able to break down the name:

- Julius is an homage to the famous chimp at the Kristiansand Zoo
- 'Arn' is a Swedish knight movie
- Elessar and Gimli are from 'Lord of the Rings'
- 'MacGyver', just the greatest Richard Dean Anderson show ever!
- 'Highlander' could refer to either the movie or TV show
- Chewbacka (aka Chewbacca) is from 'Star Wars'

Can you guess the name that doesn't belong? Me neither. I loved 'Lord of the Rings'!

Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov: Norway's Longest Name? [huffingtonpost]

Thanks to TT likes little boys and Steve, who named their sons Sue to make them tough.

Sep 11 2009 Crimes Against Humanity, Alternatively, Why I Decided To Rob You: A $135K Blu-Ray Player

Nobody should own a $135,000 Goldmund Eidos Reference Blue Blu-ray player. That's the bottom line. I mean, there are children in Africa who don't even have Laserdisc players. So how someone could knowingly spend six figures on a Blu-ray player makes me sick. BLAAAAAAH! There, I hope you're happy now.

This 66-pound behemoth has such beautiful design, we're thinking it would be right at home in an art gallery. But does it make the Blu-ray movies look any better? Only those with golden eyes and ears will know for sure.

Those precision spring-loaded legs, a completely isolated power supply and fancy Goldmund Magnetic Damping drives the price up into the stratosphere, along with that ritzy Goldmund name.

I've never heard of the Goldmund name, so that doesn't mean anything to me. I guess I'm not an audiophile. Although, admittedly, I did experiment with a girl's ear once in college, but it just wasn't my thing (she got an inner-ear infection and dumped me).

Hit the jump for one more shot of the ridiculousness.

Continue Reading " Crimes Against Humanity, Alternatively, Why I Decided To Rob You: A $135K Blu-Ray Player "

Aug 30 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Siamese Rubik's Cubes

As far as I know, these conjoined Rubik's cubes have existed forever but I wouldn't know because I have enough trouble with a regular one without removing all the stickers and then backing over it with my dad's truck while sobbing and subsequently taking out the mailbox. BOOM! Recent post tie-in for the win! I AM THE L337357 bL0993R! But for those of you that are into Rubik's, you may want to consider these conjoined cubes from Deal Extreme. And, as you may well know, Siamese sextuplets are multiple times the fun of a single woman. Isn't that right, ladies? Not you righty, I'm talking to the middle ones.

Hit the jump for a couple of the other configurations available.

Continue Reading " Sure, Why Not?: Siamese Rubik's Cubes "

Aug 27 2009 Stripteas Teabags Aren't What You Think

Unless you thought they were teabags that cling to the side of your teacup via paper stripper, in which case, congratulations, you were correct. Unfortunately, unlike those novelty pens that showcase a naked women when you turn them upside down, you don't get to see any privates. Which is actually fine with me CAUSE I DON'T WANT NO MAN'S JUNK IN MY TEA ANYWAYS. Except you, Earl Grey.

Super sexy tea bags [newlaunches]

Thanks to Tim and sergei, who never miss tea time because they like to put on their big hats and be dainty.

Aug 25 2009 You're Doing It Wrong!: Bacon Oakleys

Bacon, as you may well know, is supposed to go in your mouth or be worn like a coat. It is NOT supposed to be worn like a pair of sunglasses. That is ridiculous. But DQM and Oakley went ahead and teamed up to make a limited run of 50 pairs of bacon goggles anyways, which went on sale today for an undisclosed amount of fatback. Did I buy a pair? No. Did I lick a pair? Maybe.

DQM x Oakley Frogskins "Bacon" [hypebeast]

Thanks to Chris, who rocks a meatball necklace because the man knows fashion.

Aug 22 2009 High Security: USB Drive Has Number Lock

Worried about somebody getting at the precious files on you flash drive? Try keeping it in your pocket and not leaving it on the bus. But if you're really worried you should handcuff it to your wrist like a briefcase filled with pirate treasure. Alternatively, get a Personal Pocket Safe USB Drive ($99).

[The drive] features a built in num keypad that requires you to enter a pin code before you can access your data. It is the 256bit encryption, if someone try to access your data by forcing access, the Personal Pocket Safe USB Drive will automatically destroy all data stored on the drive. However, if you do worry that you'll forget your PIN you can back everything up online, and there's also an optional PIN replacement assistance service available too.

Wow, that seems pretty intense. You must have some seriously serious files in order to require this much security. What are you, a spy? And, if so, how about hooking me up with a bow tie camera?

Personal Pocket Safe USB Drive [likecool]

Thanks to Ste, who keeps his data protected the old fashioned way: with hungry lions.