Sep 3 2008 Woman Gets Confusing Box Of LEGO Parts
So Jenny, The Bloggess, got a box in the mail from LEGO to celebrate their anniversary or a new line or something. But when she opened the box and pieced together the parts they formed....an army of trannies! Despite a plethora of the pink dress tops and female haircuts, not a single head lacked that handsome red mustache perched suggestively over a frown. What did LEGO have to say about this?
Each kit was supposed to contain an assortment of random parts; however, it looks like yours somehow consisted only of angry mustache faces. Please know that this was not at all done intentionally or to freak anyone out in any way.
First of all, where the f*** was my box of trannies, LEGO? And secondly, I'm not so much "freaked out" as intrigued to what LEGO is secretly doing. Are they trying to teach children an important lesson about diversity and acceptance? Because that would be awesome. And, as a guy who's no stranger to trying on his girlfriend's panties while she's at work, I've got to admit: thongs make me feel sexy!
Hit the jump for a closeup so you can see them better.
Jul 25 2008 Spam King Escapes Prison, Kills Wife And Daughter Before Committing Suicide
Well folks, the asshole went and did it. Edward Davidson, a man competing for the "Spam King of Douchenburg" title with this guy was serving a measly 21 months in prison after being convicted of falsifying header information to send spam e-mail, tax evasion and criminal forfeiture. But instead of bending over and taking his well deserved cavity searches like a man, he decided to escape. Then kill his wife and 3-year old daughter before turning the gun on himself. What a piece of shit.
UPDATE: Had the story all mixed up, fixed now.
Fugitive spammer dies in murder-suicide [msnbc]
and
'Spam King' kills family, self; U.S. attorney calls him 'a coward' [rockymountainnews]
Thanks Jessica, Dianne, and Todd.
Jun 13 2008 Guy Scores Himself A DWI On Cooler Scooter
Well folks, they finally got me. After months of (relatively) incident free cooler scooting around town, I finally scored my first DWI while doing 13 MPH down the sidewalk.
Leslie J. "Bomber" Marr, 57, was charged with driving while intoxicated and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle after the police saw him swerving on the street and driving on the sidewalk in his "Cruzin Cooler," Whitehall Police Chief Richard LaChapelle told the Post Star newspaper.Marr's electric-powered cooler was filled with 14 beers and has room for 24 cans and ice, Fox News reported.
These jackasses have the story all wrong. First off, my name is Leslie J. "Mad Bomber" Marr, and secondly, there were only 12 beers left because I slammed two before the cop got out of his car.
Under New York state law, driving any motorized vehicle must be done without alcohol, including motorized coolers. In various states, other modes of transportation in which driving is prohibited while intoxicated include lawnmowers, boats, bicycles, golf carts, wheelchairs and horses.
Wow, no drunk wheelchairing, huh? Why don't we just go the extra mile and make being handicapped illegal too?
Man Gets DWI After Riding Motorized Cooler [wgal]
Thanks Jacob, now everyone's gonna make fun of me
