Oct 8 2009 Wow, That Was Sad: Tree Electrocutes Itself

This is a video of a tree which, unable to cope with the unruly birds and squirrels that have taken up residence in its branches, has decided to off itself with the help of a nearby power line. It's almost as painful to watch as your apartment building going up in flames because you were trying to grow pot in your closet. Almost. NOT THAT I'D KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT. Pfft, I went to D.A.R.E.!

Tree Electrocutes Self [collegehumor]

Thanks to NUTZBABIE, who I would probably steer clear of.

Oct 4 2009 Don't Tell The Robots!: Blood Powered Lamp

Awesome, a lamp powered by human blood. Because this will end well.

What if, every time you wanted to switch on a light, you had to bleed? Would you think twice before illuminating the room, and in turn, using up energy?

That's the idea behind the blood lamp, invented by Mike Thomspon, an English designer based in The Netherlands. The lamp contains luminol - the same chemical forensic scientists use to check for traces of blood at a crime scence. Luminol reacts with the iron in red blood cells and creates a bright blue glow. To use the lamp, you first need to mix in an activating powder. Then, you break the glass, cut yourself, and drip blood into the opening.

And this, my friends, is how our robotic overlords will read their Kindles at night. And I'll be damned if I become some robot's lamp juice. You hear me?! You will never take my blood! Quick, Edward, bite me! DO IT NOW, NANCY! *swoon* God I love your hair.

Lamp Runs On Human Blood [livescience]

Thanks to Dustin, who has never kissed a vampire (he didn't like).

Sep 22 2009 Toy Teaches Children About Life And Death

Now I'm not saying this is the best way to explain to your daughter what happened to Mr. Fluffernutter, I'm just saying I can't think of a better one. Your parents: be thankful I'm not one of them. EXCEPT I TOTALLY AM. Your other father and I made you!

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Thanks to Yopoleo, who made has never run over anything but the time limit when giving an acceptance speech.

Sep 22 2009 WoW Freakout Kid Versus Grandmother

This is a video of the infamous WoW freakout kid arguing with his grandmother, who's been sent over to watch him and his brother for the weekend. Now I really wanted to believe that these videos are real, but this one's the nail in the coffin for being fake. And not just because octogenarians are notoriously bad actresses (and will shit themselves on set), but she actually references him trying to jam the tv remote up his ass. Now I know how you're feeling, and yes, it's like Santa isn't real all over again.

Tough Granny Teaches Grandson a Lesson [break]

Thanks to Adam, who plays BINGO with his grandma on Tuesday nights and she always has him sneak a bottle of booze in. Fun lady!

Sep 2 2009 Makes A Perfect Gift: Man Eating LEGO Pits

Two LEGO posts in a row involving scary shit with teeth -- BOOSH! So some guy started a website called igotyouamaneatingpit.com that sells man-eating pits made of LEGO. These are two examples of the seemingly endless possibilities. Pits start in the low $20's and go up from there. They are completely customizable by choosing a feeding system (person), food escape system (bike, monkey, etc.) and theme pack. They make the perfect gift for that person on your gift list who already has everything -- everything but a man-eating pit! Which, haha, come standard on some female models. I've seen toothy vaginas!

I Got You A Man Eating Pit

Thanks to Eddy and Jake, who tried to make DUPLO man-eating pits but they just weren't that scary.

Jul 27 2009 Eye Candy: Luke Skywalker USB Drive

This is a custom made Luke Skywalker (circa Empire Strikes Back) USB drive. I assume it's painted modeling clay, but honestly it could be made out of unicorn tears for all I know. What an amazing job the artist did though -- such an expressive face. It's like you can hear him screaming, "WHY'D SHE HAVE TO BE MY SISTER!?!"

Hit the jump for several more shots of the expressiveness.

Continue Reading " Eye Candy: Luke Skywalker USB Drive "

Jun 19 2009 Great: Another Rat-Brain Controlled Robot

Well, we've already featured one rat-brain controlled robot, so why not another? This particular model is controlled via Bluetooth by the neurons from a rat's brain THAT'S KEPT IN A JAR. The video goes on to explain that different rat brains have unique personalities and all control the robot differently. That's right -- CYBORG RODENTS WITH PERSONALITIES! Welcome to hell, world. Oooh, nice basket -- is it Longaberger?

First Real Cyborg: A Robot Controlled By A Living Brain [videosift]

Thanks to Jen, Matthew, Anton and Ace the Inhaler, who can control rat brains with their brains. Guys -- let's rob a bank!

May 8 2009 Brotherly Hate: Now With More Lightsaber!

This kid is pure evil -- just look at him. If evil were a Tetris level on Game Boy, this kid would be a 20. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be surprised if, in a few years, I heard he'd brought a lightsaber to school in his backpack.

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Thanks to Romeo, who once broke his thumb shooting ping pong balls out of his mouth at his babysitter. Just kidding, that was me.