Sep 14 2009 Bacon Is Good For Me: The Remix
This is Sir Eat A Lot's remix of his instant classic 'Bacon Is Good For Me', now with more repetition. Now I'm not saying this song makes me want to adopt the little chubs and call him my own, but it totally does. Say it again, little man! "Bacon is good for me". Haha, here -- have another Beggin' Strip (he doesn't know the difference).
Thanks to Erica, whose hit 'Geekologie Is Good For Me' went like triple plutonium.
Aug 4 2009 What Took So Long?: A Death Star Cookie Jar
I don't know if you could tell, but that's not an actual photograph. It's just some concept art for what the cookie jar should look like when it's actually manufactured in some third world nation for pennies. Available in September for $50, this Death Star cookie jar protects your delectables with a giant, planet destroying laser beam. Okay, maybe just a lid. BUT A LASER WOULD BE COOL TOO, AM I RIGHT? No, I'm left. Haha, who's sinister now?! I kicked an old lady!
Product Site
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Death Star Cookie Jar Keeps Sweets Safe From Everything But the Force [gizmodo]
Thanks to Julian, who once used the Force to taste brownies while they were still in the oven. Impressive.
Jul 17 2009 Mmmm: Taco/Crepe/Pancake Stuffed Pizza
Inspired by the "Taco Town" Saturday Night Live skit I haven't seen, this Pizza Crepe Taco Pancake belongs in my belly. Go on, get in there -- the tequila wants company.
The layers are a crunchy beef taco with nacho cheese, lettuce, tomato and a southwestern sauce; a soft flour tortilla covered with refried beans; a corn tortilla with Monterey Jack cheese; a deep-fried gordita shell with guacamole; a corn husk filled with pico de gallo; a crepe filled with egg, gruyere, merguez sausage and portobello mushrooms; a Chicago-style deep-dish meat lovers' pizza; and a blueberry pancake--all dipped in batter and deep-fried.
YES PLEASE! Except I want mine wrapped in a whole fried octopus. Mmmm, eight-legged chicken of the sea.
9 Stuffed-to-the-Brim Food Creations [womansday] (which I read religiously, hit the link to see a couple other heart-stopping concoctions not yet featured here)
Thanks to towhee, whose ass I'm gonna kick in a doughnut eating contest. I'm going for a baker's dozen, baby!
May 24 2009 Finally: A Venn Diagram Of Hybrid Cutlery
This is a Venn Diagram of hybrid cutlery. As you can see in the middle, the splayd incorporates all three standard eating utensils in one, high questionable design. Of course, I wouldn't want to eat cereal with it. Or you. YOU'RE DRIBBLING MILK ON MY CARPET YOU HEATHEN!
Towards a Grand Unification of Cutlery [eatmedaily]
Thanks to Andrew, who eats with his hands because he's an animal.
May 14 2009 Google Maps Cleavage: I Have A New Hobby!
What Google Maps was made for, or what Google Maps was made for? God, I love geography.
Hit the jump for a zoomier picture.
Continue Reading " Google Maps Cleavage: I Have A New Hobby! "
May 12 2009 Wuv, Tru Wuv: Heart-Shaped Watermelons
What? I CAN QUOTE The Princess Bride IF I WANT. There's no shame in my game. Or extra lives. Anyway, just in time for not Valentine's Day, Japanese jolly ranchers Kiroichi Kimura and his wife have perfected a way of growing heart-shaped watermelons, which sell for up to $160. It took three years to develop the process, which involves implanting a watermelon seed in a giant's heart and then slaying it and removing the melon afterward. Nice, guys, but I think I still stick to regular-shaped melons. *ahem* I'm looking at you, female Geekologie reader.
Heart-shaped watermelons in Japan [japanprobe]
Thanks to Ashnod, ffffffffffffffffffffff and NESbeast, who are holding out for spleen shaped watermelons.
Apr 24 2009 Best Business Cards Ever: Meat Cards
Meat Cards are business cards with your info burnt into them using a 150 watt CO2 laser. They are far superior to card stock for obvious reasons (read: meat and lasers).
Screw die-cutting. Forget about foil, popups, or UV spot lamination. THESE business cards have two ingredients: MEAT AND LASERS.
Unlike other business cards, MEAT CARDS will retain value after the econopocalypse. Hoard and barter your calorie-rich, life-sustaining cards.
Mmmm, meat and lasers: definitely two of the finest ingredients on earth. PEW PEW, NOM NOM! Now, blast me in the eye with your laser pointer right as I swallow. What? Don't judge me.
Thanks to Chloe and Julian for eating all my cards. No, really, thanks a lot guys.
Apr 20 2009 Sure, Why Not: The NOM NOM NOM Song
Well folks, it's 4.20, and if I was still in college right now I'd be rolling a four-paper dank-blunt and skipping all my classes. But I'm not -- I'm at work -- so I'm smoking swag in the janitor's closet and blowing through a spoof. It's pathetic. Not unlike this video, which, whether you're high or not, will make you want to gouge your eardrums out. Consider it my little gift to you on this, the greenest of holidays. Haha -- suck it, Arbor Day!
NOM NOM NOM Song [collegehumor]
Thanks to Johnathan, who once smoked a whole O of that presidential in a day and then realized he just smoked $350 of weed in one day.
Apr 15 2009 Hamburger Cake Suitable For All Meals
Well, we ended yesterday with the BA-K-47, and now we're kicking Wednesday off right with a hamburger (technically a cheeseburger) cake. In case you couldn't tell, or your mommy is reading this to you while you eat your oatmeal, a hamburger cake is a cake made to look like a hamburger. And the great thing about it is, it's not just a bunch of fondant -- it's mostly good old fashioned icing! Skill level here appears to be about a 2 out of 10, so, with a shit-ton of practice, even you could make one! Now, back in the kitchen -- I'm ready for my eggs.
Flickr Gallery
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Hamburger Cake [tellmesomethingidontknow]
Thanks to Matt, who once ate an entire hamburger cake and still saved room for a whole bag of Cadbury mini-eggs. I like your style Matt, freaking love those things. Also, to Hans, whose mother actually made the cake.
Apr 14 2009 Dangerously Delicious: The BA-K-47
The BA-K-47 is a full size replica of an AK-47 made out of bacon (and wire). Quick, put it in my mouth and pull the trigger! Mmmm, lardy!
We had our first annual Bacon Day this past Saturday. As a huge fan of bacon, and all the great bacon blogs out there, I decided it was time for me to make my own bacon creation. I came up with the BA-K-47, a 1:1 scale AK-47 made out of bacon. It took a total of eight hours to create, a lot of bacon, and a blowtorch... oh yeah, and our good friend beer helped too.
ZOMG -- you know beer too?! The trouble that guy and I used to get into! Like yesterday when he told me to steal my neighbor's car and drive it into a ravine! And right now when he told me to type that despite on ongoing investigation. Hold on, door.
UPDATE: COPS -- DAMN YOU BEER!
UPDATE: You know I didn't mean that. Now get over here and give daddy a little sippy-sippy.
Hit the jump for a whole bunch more.
Apr 14 2009 It's Dangerous To Go Alone. Take This.
This is probably older than the topical gel I found in the back of my medicine cabinet while hunting for my Valtrex multi-vitamins, but that doesn't affect the cuteness. As you can see, it's a cat dressed up as Link. Making him the coolest cat ever (besides your own, I'm sure). Granted, he forgot the apostrophe in "I'm" and can't capitalize to save his last half-heart, but he's a cat for crying out loud. They're notoriously poor with grammar. And also, in general. MR. WHISKERS -- YOU'RE LATE ON RENT AGAIN!
Picture [wtfux]
Thanks to Spikey DaPikey, who agrees he could only be cuter if he was swinging a wooden sword.
Apr 8 2009 Scanwiches: They're What's For Lunch
Scanwiches are cross-sectioned sandwiches that have been carefully digitized using a flatbed scanner. Each one provides a HQ picture of what to expect from a particular sandwich from a certain sandwich shop or deli. For instance, this is a Salami, Coleslaw, Tomato, and Mustard on a seeded roll from Parisi Bakery. Looks delicious! Now, if I just had a taste and smell-o-vision enabled computer monitor, I'd be in porkchop sandwiching heaven right now. But I don't, so you may be wondering why I'm licking the screen anways. You see, The Superficial Writer promised me a sweet boob post this afternoon, so I'm stretching. Now -- bringeth thine boobs, mine tongue awaits! Also, I brought a gauntlet just in case a certain dragon needs slaying.
Hit the jump for several more of the deliciousness and a link to the website.
Apr 8 2009 Smart: Chimps Exchange Meat For Sex
In a move that proves that chimps have created a much awesomer society than we have, researchers have discovered that males will trade meat to females in return for regular sexy times. And apparently the NOMs for PEWs exchange program is completely legit in their advanced legal system!
This is a long-term exchange, so males continue to share their catch with females when they are not fertile, copulating with them when they are.
"What's amazing is that if a male shares with a particular female, he doubles the number of times he copulates with her, which is likely to increase the probability of fertilising that female."
Yow yow! Is all this Animal Planet talk making anyone else in here steamy? I swear, meat for sex, that's even better than a handful of $20's! Now, where can I rent a monkey suit this far from Halloween? Also, hot wings. I'm gonna need hot wings.
Chimpanzees exchange meat for sex [bbcnews]
Thanks to Ross, who wants to come in the next life as a chimp.
Apr 6 2009 Taste The Rainbow With A Rainbow Cake!
Want to make a rainbow cake to celebrate Easter or being gay? Do it up -- but I get to lick the spatula when you're finished. And by "the" I mean "your". Just sayin', I'm cool pitching for both teams. And when I say "pitching", I obviously mean "catching". I talk in code! Now, throw me a fastball, champ, I'm late for work.
Hit the jump for several more of the awesomeness and a link to the recipe.
Apr 2 2009 Apple iPhoto, You're Almost Too Good
This is a picture of some delicious cookies waiting to be baked, and as you can see, Apple iPhoto spotted a face in the crowd. ZOMG -- is that you, Mr. Cookie Bear?! OM NOM NOM NOM!
Thanks to Duan, who once tried to bake a real bear but the tranquilizer dart wore off and it broke out of the oven and destroyed his kitchen.
Mar 25 2009 Canned Bacon: Perfect For Stocking Your Robot/Zombie Shelter. Also, Snacking
Canned bacon. Undoubtedly the best course of The Last Supper, Yoder brand canned bacon can now be yours. Plus, it comes in sweet-ass camo cans. Hey, where'd my bacon go?!?
For the first time in almost 20 years, canned bacon is back in this Country. Not available in any store!
More than 2 years went into the development of this bacon, and we're proud to be able to bring this back to you after improving on a what was a very successful brand of canned bacon made years ago by Celebrity Foods (registered Trademark, all rights reserved).Each can is 9 ounces of fully cooked and drained bacon. Between 2-3/4 and 3-1/4 pounds of raw bacon go into each can. Each can is the highest quality fresh #1 bacon slices. Cured to our specifications, cooked and then hand wrapped, rolled and packed in the U.S.
My God that sounds delicious. A single can will set you back $12, but that's not really bad considering it's 3 pounds of cooked bacon and will stay fresh for over 10 years. You know -- this might very well be the most delicious thing to ever come in a can. Well, besides this. Here, open it. *POW POW!* Haha, that was Geekologie brand Whoop Ass, bitch!
Hit the jump for a photo-uncanning.
Continue Reading " Canned Bacon: Perfect For Stocking Your Robot/Zombie Shelter. Also, Snacking "
Mar 12 2009 Geekologie Reader Makes Left 4 Dead Pipe Bomb Cake, I'd Detonate It -- In My Mouth!
Loyal Geekologie Reader Ross made himself a Left 4 Dead pipe bomb cake. He had this to say about his incendiary delectable:
I made a Left 4 Dead pipe bomb cake and it sort of looks awful and awesome both at the same time.
Truer words have never been written, Ross. Am I right? I am. What was that -- who said I wasn't? Oh helllllll no -- boy, don't make me drop a nom nom bomb on that ass!
Thanks Ross, I hope it wasn't explosive on it's way out. HIYO!
Mar 7 2009 Mmmm, Rorschach-y: Watchmen Desserts
Loyal Geekologist Martin has a friend (Jack) who made a cake honoring The Comedian in anticipation of Watchmen, which dropped in theaters yesterday. Also, they made some delicious Rorschach brownies, which I featured after the jump and have been staring at for the past twenty minutes. Tell me, what do you see? If you answered "NOM NOMs" or "a vampire fondling a mermaid in a whirlpool", you are correct. Anything else and you're a crazy person or in love with your mother.
Hit it for the rest of the deliciousness.
Mar 5 2009 Death A La Mode: A Robotic Ice Cream Server
I just don't get it -- why take the chance? What's wrong with paying some pimply adolescent $6/hour to serve ice cream? You have to look at his ugly face, that's what. Still, I want the record to show that I am anti-robotic ice cream server.
These Kuka industrial robots were programmed by 26 students over 5 weeks to serve ice cream (with toppings!) to attendees at Ohio Northern University's homecoming festivities.
Well, like the saying goes, "I scream, you scream, we all scream for HOLY SHIT THAT ROBOT HAS SPRINKLES -- HIT THE DECK!!!"
Hit the jump for a relatively boring 5-minute video about the servers of death.
Continue Reading " Death A La Mode: A Robotic Ice Cream Server "
Mar 1 2009 Bacon And Cheese Stuffed Pizza Burger
The Bacon and Cheese Stuffed Pizza Burger consists of the following: two sausage and pepperoni pizzas (serving as the bun), a 5-pound hamburger patty, two pounds of bacon, and two pounds cheese (plus an onion and two bulbs of garlic). And I think we can all agree: it could use a can of pork brains. Seriously though, I was thinking of making a pizza tonight anyways....
UPDATE: Made chicken tacos instead. Muy bueno!
Hit the jump for a picture tutorial of how to make your own.
