Nov 4 2009 Tutorial: How To Make The Chewbacca Sound

This is a short video tutorial of some busty geek girl teaching you how to sound like Chewbacca. And I don't care how cute you think she is, watch her from 1:10 to 1:18 and then tell me that. Also, whether you follow the instructions or not, you're gonna end up looking retarded. Just a heads up.

Youtube

Thanks to Rémy, whose name may have been lost in formatting.

Oct 25 2009 All Windows Start Up And Shutdown Noises

Ever wanted to hear all the Windows startup and shutdown sounds from Windows 3.1 to Vista (suck it, Windows 7, you can't play with us!) in one short 1:11 video? Well you're in luck, cause here it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AYE AYE AYE!!!! Really brings back memories, doesn't it? Yeah, mostly bad ones, but still. Hey -- just be thankful you're not that guy in Momento.

Complete collection of Windows startup/shutdown sounds [dvice]

Apr 17 2009 Super Mario Theme Played On Laser Cutter

This is the Super Mario Bros. theme being played using the step motors of a laser cutter. It sounds just like you think it would (read: PEWLESS). Still, it's kinda cool. Not as cool as a cold one, but *glug glug glug* my God that's delicious. Now, what were we just talking about? Right, you getting me another beer. I vote yay.

Video: Laser cutter plays Super Mario Bros. theme [offworld]

Thanks to Sr. Laser Mario, who once played the Mario theme on a powerful burning laser and lost four fingers on one hand and two on the other. Still, it was beautiful, Sr. Mario.

Mar 26 2009 The Saddest 'Bottomless Beer' I've Ever Seen

The 'Endless Beer' keychain is a little keychain that gives sad alcoholics everywhere the sensation of opening the same empty beer can over and over. Because honestly, what's more fun than disappointment (besides getting hit in the nuts by the space shuttle)? Available in June, the fun-filled devices will run about $9. And, for as much shit as I talk, I'm totally buying one.

Endless Beer Can Popping Keychain! [rinkya]

Feb 23 2009 Beats From The Dark Side: AT-AT Boombox

I have no more information on this thing except it looks like a functional boombox in the form factor of an AT-AT. Really makes me want to throw down a piece of cardboard and break. That's breakdance for those of you not in the know. Uh, wicka-pow! You see that move? That was fresh, was it not? So fresh. And these beats -- it's like they were harvested from the beat-bush this morning. Quick, somebody drop one for me!

My name is Geekologie and I am full of knowledge-y

I drop the learnin' like a hookers box the burnin'
Actually, I'm feeling a little burny myself right now
Hold that beat while I find my ointment.

I know, I am the freshest. Seriously, check my expiration date. Haha, that's right -- I don't have one! I scratched it out with a car key because I expired a week ago. I'm getting rancid. Quick, drink me anyways! You puked didn't you? Haha, told you I was rancid. Now one more sip. DO IT!

Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups of the awesomeness.

Continue Reading " Beats From The Dark Side: AT-AT Boombox "

Feb 19 2009 Guy's Cabinet Door Sounds Like Chewbacca

This is a video of a guy opening and closing a cabinet door so the whole world can hear how it sounds like Chewbacca. Also, 'holy shit, this is amazing!' should never be used to describe a cabinet door. "Say, are you that guy that made the Chewbacca squeaking door video?" "I most certainly am!" "You sir, are a loser -- how much for the cabinet?"

Guys Cabinet Door Sounds Exactly like Chewbacca! [funnyordie]

Thanks to Erik, who has a screen door that sounds like Jar Jar getting shot in the face by an arrow.

Feb 9 2009 Awwww: Cat Youth Literally NOM NOMs

This is a video of a kitten literally NOM NOM NOMing its chow. Just listen, particularly around 0:10 and 0:55. Was that not cute? It was. Not as cute as the picture I drew of a panther licking a lion with the words 'Interracial Dating' in a heart, but what is?

This post dedicated to the memories of The Little Man, Jimmy, October, and Tiny.

Youtube

Thanks to Gabby, who likes to take her time and savor every NOM.

Dec 4 2008 Annoy Coworkers With The Annoyatron 2.0

The Annoyatron 2.0 is a little gadget that makes annoying noises at random so you can drive a very special coworker to the point of stabbing you and/or stealing your lunch from the communal fridge. The sounds are as follows:

-15kHz (Mosquito tone) (full volume)
-Cricket chirping (medium/low volume)
-IM Doorbell (low volume)
-Grating Electronic noise (full volume)
-Typical Electronic Beep (medium volume)

Just hide the little board in somebody's office, don your stab-proof jacket, and wait for the insanity to set in! Don't have a stab-proof jacket? Well you're in luck -- I happen to be selling them! They may just look like garbage bags, but you have The Geekologie Writer's personal guarantee they are real garbage bags.

Annoy-a-tron 2.0 Lets You to Slowly Drive Your Co-Workers Insane Just for Fun [gizmodo]

Thanks to 42 y/o undead warlock, who doesn't need an Annoyatron, because he's got warlock powers and shit.

Oct 24 2008 Disappointment: iBone Is Not What I Expected

This is not what I thought a product called the Haute Diggity Dog iBone would be. It's just a plush dog toy ($12) that resembles an iPhone with dog-related applications. It might not even have a squeaker! Oh wait, yes it does. Hold on, incoming email.

From: The Superficial Writer
To: The Geekologie Writer
Subject: iBone

iBone'd your girlfriend!
BOW WOW WOW YIPPIE YO YIPPIE YAY!

Awesome.

iBone chew toy gives sneak peek at dog-centric App Store [engadget]

Thanks to Julian, undisputed king of New York City burritos.

Oct 10 2008 Revenge CD Annoys Neighbors, Yourself

The Revenge CD from Fred is a CD packed with 20 of the most annoying sounds ever, from unhappy dog, to violin practice, to house party. The $7 CD even comes with a pair of earplugs, so you don't have to listen to the racket. Clever, but I can't help but think there are better ways of seeking revenge on neighbors. Including, but not limited to: breaking a basement window and leaving a hose running into it while they're on vacation, vandalism, and my personal favorites: kidnapping and arson. But seriously, rake up your leaves already, you're making our block look like shit.

Product Page

Thanks to Silver Sided, who believes living well is the best revenge, which is total bullshit. Burning a house down, that's where it's at.

Oct 3 2008 The Peri Peri: Get That 'Tearing Open A Fed-Ex Envelope' Feeling Whenever You Want

Made by Bandi, the same company that brought us the electronic bubblewrap popper, comes the Peri Peri ($10), a noisemaker that "recreates the sound and feel of tearing open the paper 'zipper' on a FedEx/UPS/DHL envelope". Because, Jesus, that shit is so fun. Too bad I've got a plethora of the real thing. Take this one for instance *riiiiiiiip* a separation agreement, freaking awesome!

BANDAI Peri Peri Keychain Recreates The Sounds And Thrills Of Tearing Open A FedEx Envelope [ohgizmo]

Sep 25 2008 Play The Drums -- On Your Shirt!

That's right folks, ThinkGeek is selling this $30 Drumkit T-shirt so you can rock out with your high-hat out anywhere you go.

Hit the drums on this shirt with your finger and they play through the built in speaker... simple but amazing. With 7 different drum sounds you're ready for a personal drum solo on your chest.

Hell yes, personal drum solo on my chest! Any of you lovely ladies interested in a duet?

Product Site

Thanks to Brad and Sarah, who don't need drums to know how to rock.

Aug 4 2008 Plastinkuzz: Questionable DJ Scratchers

Plastinkuzz are little stereoscopic cards that you scratch and allegedly sound like a real record. That, of course, is debatable. They're made by Art Lebedev, and come in a variety of color combinations, because that's important. Hit the jump to see said color options and a very worthwhile video that, if you make it all the way through, you win a prize. Now I hate to ruin a surprise, but your prize is one minute and twenty-eight seconds stolen from your life (kind of like "the Machine" in The Princess Bride, but far less cool). Seriously though, I've been playing the Plastinkuzz since I was a kid. Except back then we called them corduroys. I had the jacket and the pants.

Hit the jump for one more picture and a video you really should at least watch the first ten seconds of -- the second guy is hilarious.

Continue Reading " Plastinkuzz: Questionable DJ Scratchers "

Jul 15 2008 Shouting Vase Turns Yelling Into A Whisper

The shouting vase is a $79 jug that you yell into after you stub your toe on the coffee table or your wife cooks your eggs the wrong way. It drastically reduces the volume of your screaming, as is evident from the scientific picture in the bottom right.

Turn your loudest, most urgent frustrations into mere whispers with the Shouting Vase. The plastic jug is designed to fit over the contours of your mouth and absorb your screams and shouts, "storing" them in the vase and emitting a softer version of your angry cries through the tiny hole at the base. Ideal for when you feel like shouting, but know that speaking softly is more likely to do the trick. Or the perfect gift for the loud one in your life.

The loud one in my life, huh? Why don't you just come out and say "your wife"? Because that's obviously what you meant. I'd get one, but $79 is kind of expensive for a plastic freaking scream jug. Let me know when they're under $20, until then I'm sticking to pillow biting.

Product Page

THANKS FRANK, THIS THING REALLY WORKS WONDERS!!!

Apr 23 2008 Cat "Plays" Theremin, It Sounds Like Noise

This is a short video of a cat "playing" a mini-theremin. I wrote playing in quotations because he pretty much sucks. I mostly posted this because I thought the cat was cute. Which he is, isn't he? I like how he sits up on his back legs. I was almost convinced it was a person in a cat suit. Almost, but not quite. It's probably just a leprechaun. Regardless of what it is though, it's certainly got a pot of gold more talent than these cheeseweasels.

An old (but good) video of the Zelda theme on a theramin (because I love Zelda damnit), after the jump

Continue Reading " Cat "Plays" Theremin, It Sounds Like Noise "

Mar 26 2008 Finger Piano Toy Came With Kid's Magazine

Shougaku Ichinensei, a Japanese magazine for 1st graders, always comes with a special learning toy, and this month it was an awesome Finger Piano. Here's the video. I'm not sure, because it's hard to hear the music over the noise of it being banged against the table, but I think it's someone having a seizure trying to play When the Saints Go Marching In. Still, a fun little gadget, I know I'd be stoked if I was in 1st grade and got something resembling a Power Glove. I mean WTF Highlights? Where were you on this? You didn't come with shit but paper cuts and those damn hidden picture games on the back.

Another video after the jump proving beyond the shadow of a doubt it's practically a fully functional piano you wear on your hand.

Continue Reading " Finger Piano Toy Came With Kid's Magazine "

Mar 21 2008 Call Of Duty 4 Gunshots Techno Song

Following in the footsteps of the songs made only with sounds from operating systems comes this entry. It's a techno-ish song made using the gun sounds from Call Of Duty 4. You might like it. If, of course, you're the kind of person that takes E and spend hours dancing around in the dark with glowsticks and sweating your ass off. Just kidding, I liked it and I don't do that. Anymore. My only complaint is that after repeated listening it started to sound like someone banging on a metal trashcan. Oh my God two mourning doves are doing it on the branch outside my window! Spring has sprung! At last. Ha, he's done already. Good show. Now the female's pecking him in the eyes.

Youtube

Thanks to Skeps, who all the ladies love, for the tip

Mar 11 2008 Song Made With Only Sounds From Mac OSX

Well last week was the song made exclusively with sounds from Windows 98 and XP, and now comes the Mac version. Made with only sound effects from Mac OSX, it sounds like lots of der-ders, ding dings and clickity clicks. That said, it's kind of growing on me. Now I would like to take this time to open for discussion who made the better song -- the Windows or Mac user. Okay, discussion closed. And the winner is...they both wasted their time.

Youtube

Thanks to Jesse, who I give a big thumbs and a wink to, for the tip

Mar 7 2008 Guy Makes Music Using Only Sounds From Microsoft Windows 98 & XP, It's Pretty Neat

This is a video of some music a guy made using only sound effects from Windows. The video is of the music playing in ModPlug Tracker, the program he used to put it all together. The music only lasts for 1:31, then he starts going through all the different sounds he used. I really like the first part of the song, because it sounds like a carnival. And everyone loves carnivals, well, except for the freak show and all the freaking clowns. Once I peaked behind a tent I shouldn't have and saw a bearded woman making out with the dog-faced boy. It was really disturbing. Then I went to play the game where you try to pop the balloons with darts, but I used them to stab my eyes out instead.

Youtube

Thanks to Derek, who regularly makes beautiful music with beautiful ladies, for the tip

Feb 29 2008 Joke Sound Boxes Are Highly Questionable

Remember when the electronic whoopee cushion came out? How hilarious was that? It wasn't was it? No, it sure wasn't. Well following in the footsteps come these Prankster Sound Boxes. They're $10 light sensitive boxes that begin making their annoying sound when it's dark. You can choose from dripping water or barking dog. You know, this reminds me of the office prank I pulled a few weeks ago. What I did was fill the metal tube on my coworker's desk chair with raw shrimp. Slowly they started rotting and he couldn't figure out where the smell was coming from! It was hilarious until he figured it out. I wish you could have seen the look on his face when he finally finished beating the shit out of me. Priceless.

Annoying Light Sensitive Sound Box [7gadgets]