Sep 16 2009 Don't Friend Your Mom: More Facebook Fails
You gotta love it when your mom publicly congratulates you on Facebook for breaking your spell of sexlessness. Isn't that right, mom? *high-five* But seriously, knock next time. Also, this sock needs washing.
Hit the jump for three more Facebook faux pas.
Continue Reading " Don't Friend Your Mom: More Facebook Fails "
Aug 25 2009 How Not To Private Message On Facebook
This is 41-year old idiot moron Tracy T-something trying to send lover Michael a Facebook message expressing how much she loved him recently railing her but instead posting the note ON HER OWN WALL (admit it, we've been there). Wow, Tracy, what are you doing with this Michael character anyway if you're engaged? And what the hell is a permanent invitation to "the-love-cave-between-my-legs?" Don't get me wrong, I love camping with bears as much as the next guy, BUT I'M NOT MOVING INTO THE CAVE. I would, however, start a fire in there and grill some mammoth.
Picture [buzzfeed]
Thanks to Lee and Lisa, who understand the internet is magic but can still send a message where they mean to.
Aug 11 2009 How To Lose Your Job Via Facebook Status
We already saw one jackass nearly lose his job over his Facebook status, and here comes a chick that actually managed to go all the way. Congratulations -- you're an idiot moron! This is exactly why you can't be social networking friends with your coworkers. Am I right?
The Geekologie Writer is the Superficial Writer gobbles donkey balls while IWatchStuff lives up to his name.
Note to self: Don't 'friend' your boss on FB and then bitch about your job. [thenextweb]
Thanks to Allison and max, both of whom I talk smack about behind their backs.
Jun 3 2009 Damnit Obama, Accept My Friend Request
We've already featured some fake celebrity Facebook pages on Geekologie, so why not the president's? Yes, why not the president's? That's something I ask my self everyday just once a few minutes ago. Also, if you haven't already joined the Geekologie page on Facebook, you are no innovator. You are a laggard. And, if you know anything about the Everett Rogers Diffusion of Innovation theory, that's the worst kind. Now I know what you're thinking, "Holy shit, the Geekologie Writer must have like thirty genius brains", but you're wrong, I have an infinity. Times infinity. Kidding, totally think with my junk.
Hit the jump to see the whole profile, which may or not feature Kim Jong-il riding a missile (it does).
Apr 7 2009 Flutter: Twitter's Latest Competition
Is 140 characters too many for you? Feel intimidated by all that space? Then check out Flutter, the latest in social blogging sites. Flutter promises to take Twitter's microblogging to the next level: nanoblogging -- with a limit of 26 characters per post, or "flap". Obviously, the video is a parody. But the really sad part is that it probably won't be for long. *waving junk around like a helicopter* Flap this, scumbags!
Thanks toysoldier, Julian and 3bee, who once sat outside my bedroom window tweeting so loud I almost shot at them with a BB gun.
Apr 5 2009 Friend Me: Celebrities' Fake Facebook Pages
For fun on April 1st, PC World Magazine made a bunch of fake Facebook pages for celebrities (we've already seen God's), including, and pretty much limited to: Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Elvis, Andy Warhol, Satan, Rush Limbaugh, Hillary Clinton, Dr. Manhattan and William Shakespeare. I posted a little of Mr. Gates' there so you could get an idea of what to expect. Go HERE if you want to check them out in their full detail. And if not, hey, we can still be friends. Facebook friends! Seriously, my friend list is empty without you. Haha, I just sent you a virtual bumper sticker, now Superpoke me!
UPDATE: Readers Jess and Zeyd sent me the Facebook page of Greek mythology students. You can see it HERE.
Facebook Pages We'd Like to See [pcworld]
Thanks to Rafi, who still hasn't accepted my friend request. Seriously, just hit the button, bro.
Jan 9 2009 The Burger King Whopper Sacrifice: Delete 10 Of Your Facebook Friends For A Free Whopper
Burger King has developed a Facebook application called Whopper Sacrifice that rewards users for deleting friends. You just delete 10 friends from Facebook, and TA-DA -- a coupon for a free Whopper. Unfortunately, the deal only works once per Facebook account and makes you look like a heartless dickbag with a turd for a heart that sucks at life because you'd trade your friendship for a piece of meat in your mouth. Can you tell I've already lost most of my friends? I'm bitter.
Thanks Kenny, de-friend me and I'll kill you.
Sep 15 2008 Uh-Oh: Large Hadron Collider Hacked, Countdown To Destruction Initiated !!
Last week a group of hackers busted all up in the Large Hadron Collider's network and did stuff. Okay, so they didn't really do anything. That we know about.
Calling themselves the Greek Security Team, the interlopers mocked the IT used on the project, describing the technicians responsible for security as "a bunch of schoolkids."
However, despite an ominous warning "don't mess with us," the hackers said they had no intention of disrupting the work of the atom smasher."We're pulling your pants down because we don't want to see you running around naked looking to hide yourselves when the panic comes," they wrote in Greek in a rambling note posted on the LHC's network.
Of course they're not going to disrupt the atom smashing. They have to make sure the LHC is fully functional before they bust back in. Then they'll use the system's time machining capabilities to travel back in time and fulfill man's quest to have sex with dinosaurs. Lizard people yo, lizard people.
Hit the jump for a video explaining the experiments conducted using the LHC.
Continue Reading " Uh-Oh: Large Hadron Collider Hacked, Countdown To Destruction Initiated !! "
Jul 17 2008 Disgruntled IT Administrator Comandeers San Francisco City Network, Gets Arrested, Sticks It To The Man By Refusing To Give Up Password
Terry Childs, 43, is acting like one and refuses to give up the password he created that is effectively blocking all access to San Francisco's new multimillion-dollar network. Why did he do it? Possibly because he was on the verge of canning.
Childs has worked for the city for about five years. One official with knowledge of the case said he had been disciplined on the job in recent months for poor performance and that his supervisors had tried to fire him. "They weren't able to do it - this was kind of his insurance policy."Officials also said they feared that although Childs is in jail, he may have enabled a third party to access the system by telephone or other electronic device and order the destruction of hundreds of thousands of sensitive documents.
As part of his alleged sabotage, Childs engineered a tracing system to monitor what other administrators were saying and doing related to his personnel case, law enforcement officials said.
Damnit Terry, the city paid you $149,269 last year, just do your freaking job. I'd do anything for that kind of money, including, but not limited to: work, selling all my internal organs except the kidney, televangelism, and turning tricks in the back of a hybrid. I'm telling you, eco-friendly johns are a growing market. If the Prius is a rockin' don't bother knockin', you have to wait your turn or pay $5 to watch.
Way more in-depth article link follows.
S.F. officials locked out of computer network [sfgate]
Thanks Romeo, now lets do something similar to Skynet before it's too late.
Dec 28 2007 Password Undies Prevent Unwanted Entry
Password Panties are underwear that have a little password screen on the front of them. They were being sold on Etsy, but I'm pretty sure you could get creative with Photoshop and some iron-ons and make your own. Now I hate to brag about my skills in the realm of password hacking, but I am a pretty l337 hax0r. Which means I'll be in those panties in no time. And I don't mean wearing them, although I will sometimes. User Name: Geekologie Writer. Domain Name: Pretty woman at the bar. Password: Let me buy you drinks until you're wasted. Access Denied?! But I bought your drinks all night! What do you mean it takes more than just free drinks -- you prude. Thanks a lot, now i'm broke. I guess it'll be another computer pr0n night. :(
