Jul 2 2009 Mom Knowingly Helps Pawn Stolen Wii
Two quality parenting posts in a row, whee (literally this time)! Apparently some kids stole a Wii and then had their mom pawn the console so they could split the money. You'll have to excuse me, I'm getting a little choked up just thinking about the quality bonding time they must have spent in the car on the way to the pawnshop.
Police have already arrested 18-year-old Joshua Carter, 16-year-old Patrick Early, and 13-year-old Derrick Henson on felony charges for stealing a neighbor's Nintendo Wii video game system.
However, Early admitted to police that his mom, 41-year-old Maxine Law, helped the teens sell the Wii at a local pawn shop even though she knew it was stolen.
Wow, stealing from the neighbors. That's almost as bad as the time I stole my own watch from myself....
....
....
HEY -- GIVE ME THAT BACK!
Kids Steal Wii, Mom Arrested After Pawning It [wftv]
Thanks to GLiTCH, who once stole a woman's heart. Grody.
Jan 13 2009 Uh-Oh: SWAT Team Called On FPS Gamers
A couple of Danish gamers (Danishers), got the SWAT team called because they were playing a first person shooter too loud one night. Thankfully, they weren't rocking any Wiimote-gun mods.
As far as we can make out from this report, two young men from Valby near Copenhagen were giving it some stick on a large flatscreen telly with the volume cranked up, prompting residents in their apartment block to suspect someone had been shot.
Cue rapid SWAT intervention, with the area sealed off and heavily-armed officers using megaphones to order the pair to surrender. The two apparently came quietly, and suffered nothing more than a temporary cuffing while police ascertained that the only danger posed was to the neighbourhood's peace and quiet.
First of all, "giving it some stick" means something completely different in my neck of the woods. And secondly, I can relate to these guys because I've often had the cops called for "having loud sex late at night". They're called adult films you idiots!
Danish SWAT team surrounds PlayStation shoot-'em-up [theregister]
Thanks to Richie-con-carnie, who once had the fire department called because he set a lover on fire. He's just that hot.
Dec 17 2008 Santa, I've Been Good This Year, I Swear. Fine -- I'm Lying, But, Damnit You Chubby Bastard, I Really Want This R/C Tank
And what an R/C tank it is too! The 6ft, 550lb beast is a 1/4 scale replica of a German King Tiger and operates via two 500-watt, 24 volt motors, capable of pulling a car. Complete with a 2ft gun and functional turret, the tank is clearly ready to destroy at its operator's command. Unfortunately, the wickedness costs $10,230, which means laying siege to your neighbor's house is probably gonna have to wait -- till you can steal their car while they're on vacation! Drive that land-yacht right through the bay window. Extra points if you can park upstairs!
Toy tank will blow your mind [thesun]
Thanks to Richthegringo, who once road a tank into K-Mart and raided the blue-light special.
Oct 10 2008 Revenge CD Annoys Neighbors, Yourself
The Revenge CD from Fred is a CD packed with 20 of the most annoying sounds ever, from unhappy dog, to violin practice, to house party. The $7 CD even comes with a pair of earplugs, so you don't have to listen to the racket. Clever, but I can't help but think there are better ways of seeking revenge on neighbors. Including, but not limited to: breaking a basement window and leaving a hose running into it while they're on vacation, vandalism, and my personal favorites: kidnapping and arson. But seriously, rake up your leaves already, you're making our block look like shit.
Thanks to Silver Sided, who believes living well is the best revenge, which is total bullshit. Burning a house down, that's where it's at.
Jul 30 2008 The Vortex: Not Your Grandmother's Fountain
The Votex Fountain doesn't shoot water out of a lion's mouth or pour from a bare-breasted woman's water jug, but it is expensive and comes with a lifetime tackiness guarantee. Basically, it's a giant acrylic cylinder with a pump that created a vortex in the center. Because I'm made of money, I bought one and had it installed in the front yard so all the neighbors will know who rules this street. Yep, I'm officially the richest person in the neighborhood and the only one with a....*gazes through window at fountain*....neighbor's brat shitting in their Vortex. That's it, the little bastard's going in.
Video added after the jump, thanks Icon.
Continue Reading " The Vortex: Not Your Grandmother's Fountain "
Jul 18 2008 Moon Transits Earth: Time-Lapse Video Caught From A Cool 31 Million Miles Away
This is a time-lapse video taken by NASA's EPOXI spacecraft from 31 million miles. It's pretty awe-inspiring. Halfway through the moon makes an appearance. You know, just to say what's up. In other lunar news: tonight's a full moon, so go check that shit out. But remember: If it's hairy, you're probably standing on the bathroom sink with your head between your legs, staring at your own ass in the mirror. Go outside.
HOLY FRAK! Moon transits Earth! [discover]
Apr 8 2008 Shirtless Bandit Steals Netflix Discs, Is Caught Red (Mailer) Handed By Hidden Spy Camera
This is the Shirtless Bandit. He likes chips and watching Netflix rentals -- but not his own. He just steals them from his neighbors.
After having to file multiple Netflix movies as "lost in the mail" I began to get suspicious that there was more than just a careless mailman at fault. So what better to do than point a video camera at the mailbox and try to catch a Netflix thief.
Since both my roommate and myself worked second shift jobs, we would be physically unable catch the culprit in action. And although suspicion was strong that it was the white-trash tenants in the first floor of our duplex, suspicion alone would not be enough. We needed something tangible, something we could take to the police if we felt the need. We needed him caught on camera.
Needless to say they did, and he got busted. But not before they drove his head into the mailbox a few times. Just kidding. I would have though. Shit, you steal my Netflix DVDs and I'll pack the mailbox with explosives.
UPDATE: I called a friend at the post office to check the legality of packing a mailbox with TNT, and surprisingly, it's frowned upon. That's okay though, I come prepared. Plan B: Make a mailbox costume, stand by road with a tire iron.
Two more pictures and the VIDEO of Captain Dipshit of the USS Shirts Are For Pussies, along with a link to the whole story, after the jump
Oct 5 2007 Swoop Scooper Better Than Bare Hands
The swoop is a new take on an old problem -- picking up dog shit. You attach one of the special elastic bags, and it's spring loaded mechanism grabs the crap and turns the bag inside out in one action. It costs $25 and the replacement bags are stupidly expensive. Almost everyone I know just takes a plastic grocery bag with them when they walk their dog. I don't do that. If the dog shits in a neighbor's yard that I don't like then I give it a kick and try to hit their porch. If it's in someone's yard that I like, I just leave it, out of respect.
Scoopin Dog Poo [electroplankton]
Aug 15 2007 Waterproof iPod Case
Tired of shark fighting with no tunes? The iS2 brings the dream to life, allowing users to dive to unheard of depths (almost to the bottom of the deep end, 10 ft.) while your iPod shuffle remains safe and dry. The thing doesn't come with waterproof earphones though, so you're on your own with that one. I still need one though. After all, nothing says "I am a lover of music" more than listening to the classics while getting laid in your kiddy pool as neighbors drive by honking.
Waterproof iPod Case [OhGizmo]
