Nov 17 2009 Playing Vocals On Rock Band With A Flute

This is a video of a woman "singing" the vocals on Afterlife's 'Avenged Sevenfold' in Rock Band 2 on expert with a flute. I've known you could do this for awhile because all that matters is that you hit the right pitch. WHICH, TEAM, IS EXACTLY HOW YOU HIT HOME RUNS. Now get out there and make coach-y proud, I'm betting on you.

Youtube

Thanks to collin, ROCKY, bubbler and DJ JD, who have all tried the same thing with saxophones and failed miserably.

Nov 14 2009 Transfurniture: Couch Turns Into Bunk Bed

Ever wanted a couch that transforms into bunk beds? Me neither. I do want one that turns into a fighter jet though. Okay you got me, I do want a transformer bunk bed. BUT IT BETTER NOT BE SENTIENT OR I WILL DRAG THAT SHIT OUT INTO THE YARD AND BURN IT.

A SOFABED THAT DOES DOUBLE DUTY, Mobelform's Doc folds out into not one, but two twin sized beds stacked one atop the other: in short, a bunk bed. Included are the necessary mattresses as well as a ladder and short rail to prevent mid-night tumbles.

This reminds me of the time my cousin was spending the night and my parents let him sleep in my bunk bed and made me sleep on the floor. Well, he rolled out of the bed in the middle of the night and fell five feet to the ground and didn't even wake up. I thought he was dead. He might have been dead.

Hit the jump for another bed making the transformation.

Continue Reading " Transfurniture: Couch Turns Into Bunk Bed "

Nov 14 2009 The Million Dollar Man With The Bionic Ass

Ged Gavin, 55, has a bionic ass and doesn't care who knows. Which is good because I definitely just texted everyone in my phone. And by texted I mean sexted. All the kids are doing it. What? Yes I'd jump off a bridge!

Mr Galvin suffered massive internal injuries and had to be fitted with a colostomy bag until surgeons at the Royal London Hospital could perform the complex operation to rebuild his bottom.

The medical team took a muscle from above his knee, wrapped it around his sphincter, and then attached electrodes to the nerves.

These are now operated by a palm-sized remote control that he carries in his pocket.

"They call me the man with the bionic bottom, but that doesn't bother me. My gratitude to the surgeons is endless because what they have done is a miracle."

Colostomy bag or a bionic ass, that's a tough call. I'd probably opt for a bullet in my head. Kidding, suicide is never the answer. Unless you're my ex-wife, in which case it totally is.

Man uses remote to control his 'bionic bottom' [telegraph]

Thanks to Ross, who uses a remote control to chew but is starving because he lost the thing in a couch.

Nov 13 2009 Computer Graphics: Motherboard Mona Lisa

This is a recreation of Da Vinci's 'Mona Lisa' made entirely out of motherboard parts (plus a frame). It sits in the ASUS headquarters in Peitou, Taiwan and is almost half as good looking as the motherboard 'Starry Night' I made. Which I just so happen to be selling for $10 million. If you're interested shoot me an email and I'll start smashing every desktop in this computer lab ship it out as soon as the check clears.

Two closeups after the jump.

Continue Reading " Computer Graphics: Motherboard Mona Lisa "

Nov 11 2009 Hooray?: Auto-Tinting Contacts Coming Soon

You know those eyeglasses that automatically darken whenever you go outside? I know, they remind me of pederasts too for some reason (but they look great on you, really). Now scientists are working on transferring the technology to contact lenses.

Traditionally, these light-to-dark lenses have been constructed by coating a normal lens with a photochromic dye. When UV light hits the dye, the individual molecules expand, darkening the lens and absorbing light. Coating contacts, however, doesn't work so well.

So researchers in Singapore have laced contacts with a matrix on nano tunnels filled with these photochromic dyes. Not only has the team been successful in producing transition contacts; these contacts darken in the presence of UV light faster than standard lenses (just 10 to 20 seconds).

Researchers are now working on isolating the photochromic material to just corneal region of your eye, granting you all of the UV filtering without turning your entire iris black.

Yeah, but do they allow you see through a woman's blouse? And, more importantly, can you believe I just said blouse? I don't even know what that is!

I Wear My Suncontacts at Night [gizmodo]

Thanks to twellve, who wears Transition glasses at night so she can, so she can, watch you live and offer you candy.

Nov 11 2009 Japan Firm Makes Custom Barcode Art

D-Barcode is a Japanese firm that will design your barcode to look cooler than the standard bunch of lines. These are some examples of their work. But it doesn't come cheap! And, despite what you may have read above the urinal, neither do I.

It can be pretty pricey, though: $1,500 for a design, and $200 a year for licensing fees. If you want a code all your own, that can even cost as much as $4,000.

Now I know what you're thinking, "pfft, I could do that". But that's where you're wrong, because you and I both know you couldn't. Remember kindergarten? Remember how you couldn't keep the color inside the lines? Your parents thought you were retarded. Dad still does.

In Japan, humble barcodes are works of art [dvice]

Nov 10 2009 OMG, She's Losing Resolution!: Pixel Girl

Hey guys, sorry for sporadic posting the past few days, I was busy having the best weekend of my life. Seriously. Of my life.

This is the face of some chick that's all make-upped to look pixelated. It serves as a perfect example of how important high-resolution is, because she looks like a scary clown. Now I know what you're thinking: "I'd still hit that like an 8-bit princess". And of course you would, you'd hit anything. Only thing is: she wouldn't hit you. Stick to the stuffed animals, champ.

Please, Someone Increase Her Resolution [hawtness]

Thanks to Aisha, who looks good at any resolution, even if you have to squint.

Nov 9 2009 Clever: D&D Character Sheet Styled Resume

This is an artist/animator's very clever D&D style character sheet/resume. You can see a larger, more readable version HERE. And speaking of larger, more readable versions: how do I turn up the text size on my laptop? Somehow it got changed and now I can't even read what I'm typing anymore don't forget to call penis doctor about appt.

Character Sheet/Resume [superpunch]

Thanks to Blastphemer, who once blasted his femur right out of the socket doing jumping jacks and now has a peg leg.

Nov 6 2009 Gross: Spit Ball Toys Grow 200x Original Size

Spit Balls are a $ 5 toy from Edmund Scientific that grow to 200x their original size and sound like something that I don't want to touch. Still, for the sake of science, I'd put them in my mouth.

The wonder of polymers makes these slimy spit balls possible. Easy to make and fun to use, spit balls grow to 200x their original size and are slimy to the touch. Slip, slide, and bounce the balls until they explode on target.

"Growing to 200x it's original size"...."slimy to the touch"...."bouncing the balls until they explode on target"....remind you of something else? Yeah, me neither.

Product Site
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Finally Some Real Innovation! Polymer Spit Balls Grow To 200x Their Original Size [ohgizmo]

Nov 6 2009 Geekologie Reader Snaps Shot Of Moon Dog

I'm not going to lie to you (although I usually do), I had no idea what a moon dog was when Geekologie Reader em_kay11 sent me this picture (high-res version HERE) of one he took early Wednesday morning. Per Wikipedia:

A moon dog or moondog (scientific name paraselene, plural paraselenae, i.e. "beside the moon") is a relatively rare bright circular spot on a lunar halo caused by the refraction of moonlight by hexagonal-plate-shaped ice crystals in cirrus or cirrostratus clouds. Moondogs appear to the left and right of the moon 22° or more distant. They are exactly analogous to sun dogs, but are rarer because to be produced the moon must be bright and therefore full or nearly full. Moondogs show little color to the unaided eye because their light is not bright enough to activate the color photoreceptors in humans.

Cool, a moondog! Can we keep it, daddy? Can we pleaaaase? I'll feed it and walk it every day. And if it ever moon-cheeses on the carpet I promise I'll clean it up and spray the area real good with pet odor-neutralizer and everything. No? Well how about a reptile? I like turtles.

Thanks em_kay11, now how about a mooncat?

Nov 5 2009 Handy, Creepy: The Hand-le Door Handle

The Hand-le is a door handle created by Amsterdam designer Naomi Thellier de Poncheville. It reminds me of the dog leash hand and is a slap in the incredibly handsome faces of lefties like myself. But that's not what's important. What's important is that my dad sent me this tip. I could have sworn I told him I was a used car salesman! Love you, dad.

Hit the jump for a closeup.

Continue Reading " Handy, Creepy: The Hand-le Door Handle "

Nov 5 2009 What Space Invaders Actually Look Like

This is an $18 Threadless shirt depicting what 8-bit Space Invaders actually look like in 3-D. Pretty amazing, huh? I know, I thought they were giant 2-D bugs as well. Really turns your whole world upside down, doesn't it? Like finding out your parents are swingers.

Product Site
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8-Bit Invaders Are Perfectly Formed [fashionablygeek]

Thanks to Amanda, who just realized Aunt Beth and Uncle Simon weren't actually relatives. Sorry, Amanda.

Nov 4 2009 How To: Open A Wine Bottle Sans Corkscrew

Ever needed to open a bottle of wine but didn't have a corkscrew? Apparently all you need a shoe and something rock hard. LIKE MY ASS ABS ASS. Alternatively, break the top off and chug the whole bottle. I mean, unless you're cool being a sissy boy. Trust me, manliest way to drink wine. AND THERE AREN'T MANY.

MacGyvered Inebriation: Guy Opens Wine Bottle With Shoe [uberreview]

Nov 4 2009 Suck It, Mad Men!: Awesome Play-Doh Ads

This is a series of amazing Play-Doh ads that were spotted in a magazine in Singapore. They were only printed a single time, because when parent company Hasbro caught wind that somebody in their Singapore office had approved the ads, they shit Play-Doh. Then it hit the fan. Now it looks like Mr. Bill exploded in their office.

Hit the jump for four more awesome ads, and a link if you want to read about the ado the campaign caused.

Continue Reading " Suck It, Mad Men!: Awesome Play-Doh Ads "

Nov 4 2009 Living At The Airport: Luggage Turns To Sofa

This 4-piece luggage ensemble by Dutch designer Erik De Nijs forms a comfortable little sofa when you're not dragging it around the airport. Sure it's all mixy-matchy, but maybe Erik is blind and the woman at the fabric store didn't have the heart to tell him he chose four different patterns. Of course she didn't -- like women have hearts! BWHAHAHAHAHA!! Or motor skills. BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Suited Case by Erik De Nijs [likecool]

Thanks to Stephy, who once slept in an airport for two weeks straight and has ridden the baggage conveyor belt to the end.

Nov 3 2009 The Gift Of Love: A Beating Heart Plushie

Looking for the perfect gift for that special someone? Give them your heart! Well, not your actual heart (unless you know that creepy mother from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom). With just a shake this $18 anatomically correct heart from ThinkGeek begins making beating noises and pulsating in your lover's hand! Perfect to sleep with whenever your significant other is out of town. Or in town cheating on you!*

*Tear absorbent

ThinkGeek Product Site
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Plush Beating Heart: Halloween and Valentine's Day All Rolled Up Into One [uberreview]

Oct 28 2009 Don't Swat Me, Bro!: Ad-Carrying Flies

This is a video of some tradeshow in Germany where a company released flies with advertisements attached to them like those little planes at the beach. It's pretty awesome and really got me thinking about hiring mosquitoes to start promoting Geekologie. And by promoting Geekologie i mean flying a video camera into your sister's bedroom. I am a modern Don Draper!

Youtube

Thanks to Harald, who still advertises in the newspaper. THE NEWSPAPER! What is this, the 40's? Geekologie is where it's at, son!

Oct 27 2009 A Real Comic Book Character For Halloween

This is a picture of a woman who is Halloweening as an actual comic book character. You know, like the way a woman would look in an oldschool comic -- with the crappy dot printing and all. Except, in this case, she actually looks pretty good. Granted not as good as I'd look as a comic book character, but I'd draw myself with giant shirt chain-mail ripping muscles and a laser cannon. Did somebody say dinosaur mount? Plus dinosaur mount. Did you know my handsomeness is actually considered a super power? Because it is.

Hit the jump for several shots of the makeup going on.

Continue Reading " A Real Comic Book Character For Halloween "

Oct 22 2009 I'm A Ninja, I Can Do That: Crazy Trampolining

This is a video of Oli Lemieux doing some wild ass trampolining plus wall walking and other ninja-y stuff while practicing for a Cirque du Soleil show. It's pretty cool but I could do it all twice as good but I would never film it because I'm modest. Also, the most handsome man on the planet.

Youtube

Thanks to The Gurr, MoD, Asbo and Jennie, who once jumped so high on a trampoline they showed up on radar and the government shot missiles at them.

Oct 21 2009 Stop Motion Of Papercraft Link Construction

This is a little stop motion video of a papercrafter constructing a Link model. The model is amazing, and so is the build, so you should check it out. But you shouldn't check out library books that will get you blacklisted. Or women on the street. BECAUSE I AM AGAINST THE OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN. Women are people too, you know. Except those crazy bodybuilding ones. They're wild animals.

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Thanks to Jessica, who once made a papercraft model of the Geekologie Writer and then burn it as an effigy. Gee, thanks.