Oct 28 2009 Ever Wonder What Mario Looks Like Naked?

Scary as hell, that's what. Like an adult-sized baby with a serious case of the wonk-eye. I don't think I'll never be able to look Mario straight in the face again. Like a friend who catches you staring at his package in the locker room after some racquetball. That said, how about somebody make one of these for Princess Peach? Unless that makes me a creep, in which case my tipster requested it. Yeah Aisha, you perv!

What's Underneath, Mario? [kotaku]

Thanks to Aisha, who totally asked for the Princess Peach thing, swear.

Oct 12 2009 Eh: Marge Simpson In Upcoming Playboy

Whee, Marge Simpson is gonna be in the upcoming November issue of Playboy. Great, like I haven't already seen her naked a million times in those racy cartoon pop-ups that I got from that sketchy hentai porn site came pre-installed on my computer.

Playboy said the cover and a three-page picture spread inside was a celebration of the 20th anniversary of the "The Simpsons" and part of a plan to appeal to a younger generation of readers.

Scott Flanders (IRONIC!), the recently-hired chief executive of Playboy Enterprises, told the Chicago Sun-Times in an interview that the Marge Simpson cover and centerfold was "somewhat tongue-in-cheek."

"It had never been done, and we thought it would be kind of hip, cool and unusual," Flanders told the newspaper. He said the magazine hoped to attract readers in their 20s compared to the average Playboy reader's age of 35.

Right, "hip, cool and unusual". Listen, Playboy, this guy sucks. You want somebody to help you appeal to a younger, more influential demographic, I'm your man. And by man I mean huckleberry. You're no Daisy -- you're not Daisy at all! Wow, that just took on an all new, much sadder meaning.

Marge Simpson makes cover of Playboy [yahoonews]

Thanks to Scarlet, Camille, john and Duke, who aren't stimulated by cartoons because they're sexually repressed. Geez, you guys need some Saturday morning therapy.

Aug 21 2009 Does The Dissolving Bikini Really Work?

This is a teaser trailer for a video demonstrating whether or not the dissolving bikini I posted earlier actually works. SPOILER ALERT: It does. Except it's way freaking lame and the whole bikini doesn't actually dissolve, just a couple small bands holding it on. Go HERE to see the full video, which is advertised as SFW but I'm pretty sure I saw a nipple at 0:31. Yep, there it is. Also, there's a NSFW version HERE which has a lot more nipples. Which, I think we can all agree, are what Fridays are all about...
...
...
...
...to the nudey bar! You're driving.

Video: Clint test de oplosbare bikini [clint]

Thanks to Jef, who makes bikinis disappear the old fashioned way: with x-ray vision.

Jul 16 2009 Naked 'Terminator' Tased By Police In Nevada

A Terminator sent back from the future has been tased and arrested by police in Nevada. Good lookin', boys in blue!

19-year-old Sean Stanley Smith was arrested on the Nevada border after he was spotted by a motorist wandering around the highway nude. He was ordered by police to stop but proceeded into a nearby casino - where he was then tasered in front of a group of children.

Smith claims he was a Terminator sent back in time from the future.

When questioned who he was sent back to kill, the Terminator responded, "The Geekologie Writer". Really buddy? TOO BAD I'M VACATIONING IN MIAMI YOU IDIOT MORON! Wait. Did I say Miami? I meant Manitoba. Shit.

Police arrest naked 'Terminator' [yahoo]

Thanks to Bubbles100, who wonders if he was packing more heat than the Naked Wizard.

May 8 2009 Hustler Makes Star Trek Themed Adult Film

Star Trek porn is nothing new (SO I'VE HEARD) but Hustler is aiming to take the cake with their latest Star Trek themed adult video, 'This Ain't Star Trek XXX' (weak title). This is the trailer for the it, which drops May 12th. Feel free to watch it at work -- it doesn't show anything bad. Then hit the jump for a blooper outtake from the video, which is safe as well. So, what do you think -- summer blockbuster or summer nutbuster? I'm going with neither.

Hit it for the blooper.

Continue Reading " Hustler Makes Star Trek Themed Adult Film "

Apr 29 2009 Spellbound Apprentice Casts Off Wizard Hat And Robe, Gets Tazed By The Po-diddly

NSFW VIDEO IS NSFW DUE TO THE WORLD'S SMALLEST PENIS.

This is a video from Coachella of a wizard who refuses to put his hat and robe back on (you're doing it wrong!) and instead waves his minuscule penis around like Harry Potter trying to cast a spell of sadness on anyone foolish enough to look.

"It doesn't have to stop," the Naked Wizard says.

"I'll tell you what," the cop says. "You can have a great time -- but you can have an even better time if you put your clothes on...Can I get them for you?"

The officer grabs the gown and tosses to the Naked Wizard, but he casts it away again. Then the cops put on their rubber gloves, and things get ugly.

You really can't help but feel sorry for the guy. But, on the upside, this video should make you feel good about your own magic stick. So make sure to watch the video with your significant other while pointing at the dude's nubbin and telling them to be thankful. I swear, a naked wizard on drugs with the world's smallest penis getting tasered by the diddly -- is today my birthday or what?

Naked Wizard Taser Brawl At Coachella [huffingtonpost]

Thanks to A-lice in Wonderland and chainsawarms, who both noted the magician's wand was probably too small to cast any real dangerous spells.

Apr 15 2009 6-Year Old Finds Pron On New PSP, Cries

A six-year old found a bunch of nudey pictures on the PSP his mother purchased for him from Walmart and got all upset about it and cried to his mommy.

Tamatha said she found a memory card inside the PSP containing hundreds of pornographic pictures. She claimed it's not hers and it was in the PSP before she opened the box.

She then called the store wanting to speak with a manager about the problem. "I explained the situation and his response was, 'well, bring the machine down and we'll let your son pick out a new game,'" she said. "And I was like, no I don't think you heard what I said."

Tamatha is demanding a new gaming system, apology, and written promise her son won't grow up to be gay. Good luck with that Tamatha, but I've got news for you: he's been that way since birth. I mean, he cried when he saw a naked woman. What? Well, yeah, but I only do it sometimes.

Mom Finds Porn on New PSP [myfoxboston]

Thanks to Chris and Asiantom, who would have felt like they just won the fapping lottery.

Feb 27 2009 Coooool!: All Glass House Has Sliding Exterior

The Sliding House is an all glass house built by Ross Russell and his wife in Suffolk, England. Its exterior walls and roof are all one piece that can be rolled off of the glass shell via a system of wheels and motors, exposing the entire house to sunlight. I want one. And not just because I'm an exhibitionist, but because HEY, LOOKIE HERE! Haha, yeah, because I'm an exhibitionist.

Youtube

Thanks to Dan and Joemo, whose houses don't just slide, they electric slide.

Feb 8 2009 Bond Would Be Ashamed: A Lighter Spycam

Ever wanted to covertly record six-hours of the inside of your pants pocket? Well now you can thanks to Ajoka's Real Lighter DVR Lighter Camera Hidden Digital Video Recorder Micro Camera. Jesus, hell of a product title there. The thing costs about $150 wholesale and "discreetly records 640 x 480 or QVGA in AVI format at 30 frames per second and supports microSD up to 8GB. It's got a lithium ion battery for 6 hours of filming and is charged via USB." Interesting, but I've tried smoking before and nope: the girls still run screaming from the locker room.

Cigarette lighter camera shows there's nothing more patriotic than espionage [engadget]

Thanks to Justin, who wasn't really that into Miss Moneypenny but double-oh sixty-nine'd her anyways just to spite Mr. Bond.

Jan 26 2009 Yes, Please: A Naked Stereo System

Ooh la la. This is a piece by Bob Turek in a series called Object Remix.

speakers

fiberglass mannequin
hand built stereo amplifier
36" x18" x12"
2008

As part of my object remix series, this stereo forces the music source into the center of attention and creates a radically new user interface

Ladies and gentlemen, it is official: I have touched music, and it felt good. Also, she's gonna need a new left speaker.

Object Remix [coroflot]

Thanks to Crystal, whose breasts sound like two angels singing "Happy Birthday".

Jan 21 2009 Guy Makes Portal Gun, I Plan To Steal It

Holy crap somebody went and made the gun from Portal. I have absolutely no shame in telling you all I am going to steal the device, and then use it to rob a bank and escape the po-po.

Developed by Aperture Science, this Handheld Portal Device is an extremely limited edition (dare I say, one of a kind?) portal generator. Illuminated with blue ad orange LEDs, the entire gun runs off of only one 9V battery and needs no ammunition.

*donning pantyhose mask* See you in a bit!

UPDATE: HOLY SHIT I'VE GOT IT! I even managed to escape without detection, so I don't even know if the thing works yet. *pointing at bedroom wall* Well, here goes nothing! *PEW* OH MY GOD IT WORKS! Aaaaand there's my sister. Aaaaand she's naked. Quick, portal me in the eyes!

Hit the jump for a couple more views.

Continue Reading " Guy Makes Portal Gun, I Plan To Steal It "

Jan 11 2009 Pixelated Beauties: I'm Just Gonna Pretend They're Naked LEGO Women, Whoo-Whoo!

NOTE: GALLERY PROBABLY NSFW.

This is a gallery of probably NSFW pixelated naked chicks by artist/photographer Jean-Yves Lemoigne. Hit the jump for an uncensored version of this pic, as well as several others. And I must say: Yow yow! They look like super sexy naked LEGO chicks, don't they? This handkerchief says yes! And also, "For The Superficial Writer's tears only". Woopsie.

Hit the jump for the steamy action that, when viewed from across the room, sort of looks like a naked chick if you squint really hard and shake your head.

Continue Reading " Pixelated Beauties: I'm Just Gonna Pretend They're Naked LEGO Women, Whoo-Whoo! "

Dec 12 2008 No More Going Bare Chest: Geeky T-Shirts

This is a gallery of geeky t-shirt designs from some guy named Glenn Jones. Hit the jump for a bunch more of my favorites and a link to his store which has even more. They're all $20 a pop and the perfect thing to keep you from showing your tits this holiday season. Unless you're a chick and into that. In which case I call a motorboat.

Hit it for the rest.

Continue Reading " No More Going Bare Chest: Geeky T-Shirts "

Nov 24 2008 Couple Sues McDonald's After Leaving Cell Phone At Store And Their Private Pictures Show Up Online (Suprise, Surprise!)

Arkansas native Phillip Sherman and his wife Tina are suing McDonald's because Phillip left his cell phone at a restaurant and the nudey pictures of his wife that were on it headed straight for the internet (they always do).

The suit was filed Friday and seeks a jury trial and $3 million in damages for suffering, embarrassment and the cost of having to move to a new home (due to alleged stalkers).

The suit says that Phillip Sherman left the phone the Fayetteville store in July and that employees promised to secure it until he returned.

Now I hate to call the Shermans liars and cheats, but they most certainly are. Can somebody say chili finger? Or, in this case, cheeseburger ass?

Nude pics in phone lost at McDonald's get online [associatedpress]

Thanks to Lobster, who, despite his inherent deliciousness, couldn't find the pics online.

Oct 24 2008 I've Seen It All Now: Freaky Star Wars Porn

This is some freaky-deaky Star Wars porn by an artist named Miravi. This is the tamest picture I could find, so you can imagine what some of the other stuff is like. Think fully nude hardcore shit that'll burn your corneas out (I can type by touch). So, yeah. There are two more pictures after the jump, and a link to the gallery, which is WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY NSFW. You hear me? You will be fired before you can tell the IT guy "I thought I was being Rick Rolled, I swear!" And on top of being unemployed, you'll be branded perv of the year. But seriously, if anybody actually uses these pictures to, you know, PEW PEW!, make sure to leave a comment so we can all make fun of you. Wait -- actually, don't.

Hit it pervert.

Continue Reading " I've Seen It All Now: Freaky Star Wars Porn "

Oct 13 2008 Strip Club Features Drive-Thru Service

Apparently there's a strip club in Pennsylvania that offers drive-thru service.

The Climax "Gentleman's Club" operates in Delmont, Pennsylvania, on Route 22 35 miles east of Pittsburgh. In April of this year, Climax unveiled a new innovation, which is most likely a first in the country: drive-thru strippers. Motorists can now pay $5 a minute to view strippers from the comfort of the front seat of their own car. Most customers end up with a tab of about $10-$15, but already one person paid $100 for a mere 20 minutes.

$100? Jesus, that's like four lap dances. And I've got the feeling that's not an option in the drive through. Although it certainly should be. Oh -- oh God, I'll never look at that gearshift the same.

drive-thru strippers [everything2]

Thanks to chip, who pioneered drive-thru casinos.

Oct 6 2008 Passengers Worried X-Ray Security Shots Will Wind Up On Facebook And Myspace

Passengers are worried that pictures from a new x-ray security camera, the "virtual strip search", will end up online and display their privates for the whole social networking world to see.

Readers feel the new security measure has gone too far.

"Sure as heck, some customs officers will make snide remarks about young girls with breast implants and people with piercings in private locations. You betcha some will appear on Facebook or MySpace," said a post on news.com.au

However, authorities insist there's nothing to worry about.

"Faces are blurred and images are not saved and cannot be transferred," said Office of Transport Security executive director Paul Retter.

Oh yeah, because I'm dying to see some fuzzy monochromatic images of a chick's privates on Facebook. Wait....I think I am. Sweet!

Passengers fear airport "virtual strip search" [news.com.au]

Oct 3 2008 Burton Releases Series Of Sexy Snowboards

Burton Snowboard's new Love series was made in cooperation with Playboy and feature busty centerfold pictures. Because let's face it, what could be cooler than cruising down the mountain on a booby-covered board? Ha, no, not dead hookerboarding, although....

Burton Love Series Snowboards [highsnobiety]

Thanks to Jo Mama, who knows I love the rich, chocolatey taste of Ovaltine.

Sep 16 2008 Naked Man Walks Dog, Gets Tasered

A 40-year old virgin in Tallahassee, Florida was tasered and arrested last Friday night for walking his dog in the nude (him, the dog had a collar on). Apparently the man become belligerent and refused to obey a cops orders, which led to the zap zap action. And here comes the kicker:

When asked what he was doing, the man told the officer, "Allah told me to watch a Bruce Willis movie and walk the dog," (Officer) McCranie said.

Holy shit, I need his dealer's number.

Naked man walking dog Tasered by Tallahassee police [tallahassee]

Thanks to Ryan, who at least has the decency to throw on a hat before going out.

Aug 28 2008 Internet Explorer 8 To Feature 'Porn Mode'

Microsoft's Internet Explorer 8 (now out for beta testing) will feature a 'porn mode', aka InPrivate, similar to Safari's 'Private Browsing' feature.

The new InPrivate feature on Internet Explorer 8 -- now in Beta release, and dubbed by many in the Web development community as "porn mode," a nod to its most obvious use -- when enabled automatically conceals sites visited by wiping clean browsing and search history, cookies, form data and passwords. It also clears the browser cache at the end of each session.

Once the setting is chosen, others using the same computer will not be able to see which sites have been accessed, the company said. Other browsers have similar functions, but this one is far more prominent. Although casual users cannot see the previous user's search history, authorities such as the police will be able to access it if necessary.

Man, I don't know. My girlfriend is pretty damn computer savvy. If the cops can get at, she already has. Which means she's probably on to my secret ROTFLBDSM fetish and is itching to stomp my balls to mush in red stilettos.

Microsoft Internet Explorer 8 to Include So-Called 'Porn Mode' Privacy Feature [foxnews]

Thanks to Bryan, who's smart enough to know that watching porn together is an important part of any healthy relationship (excluding relatives and pets).