Sep 1 2009 I Must Have It!: Magical Unicorn Juice
Some guy on eBay recently sold the last jar of unicorn semen in the United States for $31 plus $3 flat rate shipping. If you were the buyer please contact me, as I must have some. *ahem* For science, for science (if I repeat things it makes them real).
This is possibly the only jar of Unicorn semen left in the united states.Unicorns were bred for their magic and keen night hunting skills to protect lepreachauns that had been injured in battle during the civil war. Unicorns were only found in two places on the planet, the northern and southern hemispheres. Anyone in possession of this rare and magical fluid will be able to swim with the wolves and fly with the dolphins as its powers are still being found.I opened the jar while i was on my computer and my computer flickered for a minute and i realized the semen had helped me kill Yogg-Saron on my World of Warcraft account and i recieved the Shawl of Haunted memories and the Mantle of the Wayward Conqueror. i have already been blessed and recieved my gift...so i'm going to pass the power onto someone else. Do not drink the unicorn semen as the power is too much for the human digestive system and could change your DNA and give you the shits. Bid, but Bid Wisely.
Do not drink, my ass. I have an iron stomach (and lung) and am gonna guzzle that whole jar like I'm shotgunning a beer. LASER VISION, YOU WILL BE MINE!
Thanks Chris, but if I found out you bought it and aren't sharing, well, that's just cruel. GIVE ME A SIP!
Apr 21 2009 Whee: Getting High With The God Of Thunder
A day late (the story of my life), comes an animated gif of Thor getting all high on some beaster-looking weed. It's all good too, since, as you may recall from your Germanic mythology course in college, Thor is Canadian. *thunder rumbling* Eh?
Thanks to Alex, who once got high with Poseidon in an octopus' garden in the shade. Cool.
Aug 29 2008 Is This A Swedish Sea Monster?
I dunno, it kind of looks like a rectangle humping a tapeworm.
A group of filmmakers claim to have successfully captured Sweden's legendary Great Lake Sea Monster (Storsjöodjuret), which is said to lurk in the waters of the Storsjön outside Östersund in northern Sweden.
"It clearly shows that it's warm and is made up of cells, otherwise our cameras wouldn't indicate red, so it can be a sea snake or some other kind of sea animal," said a female member of the film crew to Sveriges Television news in Jämtland.The effort to find the monster has generated a great deal of interest, with the American television network NBC planning to document the hunt.
Boy are they in for a surprise. You see, the Great Lake Sea Monster is actually SPOILER ALERT: my penis. I guess he wasn't joking when he said he was packing the balls and moving to Sweden. Wait, then what's....
UPDATE: An ear of baby corn.
Hit the jump for a video news report in Swedish.
Aug 28 2008 Another Day, Another Winged Cat
Another day, another cat sprouts wings.
A tabby from the Qingyan province in China recently sprouted a pair of fur-covered wings on his back during a hot-weather spell, the U.K.'s Daily Mail reported.
One cat owner, identified only as Feng, claimed her pet's wings were the result of stress from too many females desiring to mate with him, the Mail reported.
F***, now I'll never grow wings.
Hit the jump for a picture of Feng's winged cat (a different one) from a while ago, and a link to its story.
Jun 12 2008 Unicorn Discovered, Little Girls And I Rejoice
This is a picture of a unicorn. A real, live unicorn. While technically not a corncob, a single horn protrudes from the center of the animal's head. The deer, which resides in Tuscany, Italy, has a twin with regular horns. It was born in captivity after its mother was struck by a car and unable to fend for herself in the wild.
The earliest mention of the beast was by the Greek historian Herodotus in the 5th century BC.In one notebook, Leonardo Da Vinci suggested unicorns could be captured using a virgin as bait.
Okay, so which one of you is gonna be the bait? HA! Just kidding, I'll do it :(
'Unicorn' born in Italy [telegraph]
Thanks Bryan and Ling, now let's capture that thing and offer unicorn rides at children's birthdays -- we'll be rich!
Mar 17 2008 Radio's Volume/Station Controlled By Rocks
The Natural Radio is controlled by rocks and operates using a scale. The more rocks you put on the volume scale the louder it gets. Same goes for frequency. Now I'm not very coordinated, so I couldn't imagine getting more than two or three stones balanced. What if I want to listen to 105.7? That seems like a lot of rocks. Maybe sand would work though. I'm much better with sand. You should have seen the wicked castle I built on the beach during my last vacation, it was awesome. Well, until that dick Poseidon destroyed it with a big wave. He still hasn’t forgiven me for that lusty night I spent with his sea-goddess Amphitrite. That's right folks, Aquaman is my son.
Several more pictures of the device after the dive.
Continue Reading " Radio's Volume/Station Controlled By Rocks "
Dec 3 2007 Thor Helmet Is Plastic But Shoots Fire
What you see here is a replica Thor helmet ($550). It's made of plastic but has "copper flame tubes raised above the helmet so that there is no heat transfer from the tubes to the helmet." You hook that sucker up to a little propane tank tucked away in your pants and you're good to go. Use the adjustable valve to set flame height and burst action. Awesome. You can really tell this is a quality helmet. If quality is a function of the helmet's ability to burn your house down.
Several more pictures after the hammer.
