Sep 3 2009 Scientists: "All Humans Are Mutants"

Scientists are claiming that each human has between 100 and 200 genetic mutations in their DNA. Me? I have two fingers....I have four fingers.

Joseph Nadeau, from the Case Western Reserve University in the US, who was not involved in this study said: "New mutations are the source of inherited variation, some of which can lead to disease and dysfunction, and some of which determine the nature and pace of evolutionary change.

"These are exciting times," he added.

"We are finally obtaining good reliable estimates of genetic features that are urgently needed to understand who we are genetically."

Listen: you can go right on being a freak all you want, but I ain't no damn mutant. I have never even met Professor X! Who, that old guy? The bald one in the wheelchair? Nobody.

We're all mutants, say scientists [bbcnews]

Thanks to Totex and Slava, who only got the incredibly good looking mutations. Lucky.

Jun 30 2009 UPDATE: ZOMG, Freaking Sewer Creatures!

This is allegedly video from the sewers beneath Raleigh, North Carolina showing some weird ass freaky deaky new creatures. I suspect it's fake and gonna prove to be a viral video for Cloverfield 2: Attack of the Head Crabs or some feminine hygiene product. But who knows, maybe it's real. Regardless, I think we can all agree that it would be delicious BBQ'd.

UPDATE: Totally real apparently. According to Dr. Timothy Wood, freshwater bryozoa expert.

Thanks for the video - I had not see it before. No, these are not bryozoans! They are clumps of annelid worms, almost certainly tubificids (Naididae, probably genus Tubifex). Normally these occur in soil and sediment, especially at the bottom and edges of polluted streams. In the photo they have apparently entered a pipeline somehow, and in the absence of soil they are coiling around each other. The contractions you see are the result of a single worm contracting and then stimulating all the others to do the same almost simultaneously, so it looks like a single big muscle contracting. Interesting video.

BURN IT WITH FIRE! Somebody in Raleigh needs to start flushing fireworks down the toilet STAT.

Video Footage Surfaces of North Carolina Sewer Creatures [io9]
and
Disgusting Sewer Creature Update: IT'S F#$%ING REAL! [gizmodo]

Thanks to Julian, who requests his medium rare with a side of A-1.

Jun 3 2009 Miss Atom 2009: Nuclear Power In My Pants

So apparently Russia has been holding the Miss Atom contest since 2004 and I have yet to be a guest judge. That's some sauce, Russia. Vodka sauce. Anyways, here is Miss Atom 2009, Yekaterina Bulgakova, who was picked out of the 350 contestants that all work in the Russian nuclear power sector. Nice. Now I know what you're thinking, and yes, I was hoping for three boobs too.

Official Site
via
Russia selects Nuclear Beauties 2009 [mosnews]

Thanks to Void, who slept with like thirty of the contests and now glows in the dark.

May 28 2009 Where Are These Flying Cats Coming From?

China. They all seem to come from China. And let me tell you something: I'm sure as hell not eating the cat food there.

A kitty in Chongqing, China, is getting some extra-special attention these days: The furry feline has developed wings! Though born looking completely normal, once the cat hit the age of 1, he began growing wing-shaped appendages on either side of his spine.

According to the Telegraph's report, scientists believe the appendages developed due to grooming habits, a genetic defect or a hereditary skin condition.

Nice one, scientists. How about you just admit you have no effing clue. That said, I change my mind about not eating Chinese cat food (zing, local Chinese restaurant). I'm gonna grow wings! Climb aboard ladies, I'll take you places no other woman has ever been. The moon! My bedroom. Washed the dinosaur sheets just for you baby. Also, I have a mini-fridge. With snacks.

Cat in China grows a pair of wings [msnbc]

Thanks to Sharkey and Paul, who are holding out for flying dogs like that funky bitch Falcore the Luck Dragon from The Neverending Story.

Apr 6 2009 For Sale: The T-Virus Vial From Resident Evil

Want to own the T-virus? Want to own the vial the T-virus came in? Well now you can, thanks to a $3,800 eBay auction for (one of?) the very vial(s) used in Resident Evil: Extinction!

Direct from the set of Resident Evil:Extinction comes the very very key virus tube! This is one of the most sought after movie collectibles from this franchise and is yours to bring home today. This is a glass vial with non-removable metal end caps with empty spiraling inner glass tubes. (One of the Tubes is loose) This measures approximately 4.75" x 1.5" and is screen used.

What do you mean, "One of the Tubes is loose"? I ain't paying no damn $4K for a nonfunctional virus container, I'll tell you that right now. You try to fill that up and next thing you know you're spilling T-virus juice down the front of your pants. Which....

UPDATE: It grew arms! Now, who needs a Monday hug?

eBay Auction

Thanks to OctopusPie, who's delicious with a little CuttlefishIcecream.

Apr 2 2009 Good Stuff: Remakes Of The Peekaru Picture

Remember Peekaru, the $80 vest that makes it look like a young mutant is bursting forth from your bosom? Yeah, well the folks over at Emptees have a huge gallery of Photoshopped versions. I've included a few of my favorites after the jump, so check them out. Then hit the link at the bottom to see the entire Emptees gallery, which is slightly NSFW because there are two with boobs. But honestly, I barely noticed them. And I definitely didn't print them out in color. And I definitely didn't forget to go pick them up from the print....uh-oh.

UPDATE: What bullshit, printing out a picture of a boob IS NOT sexual harassment. I swear, some people. Oh well -- anybody hiring?

Hit it, toots.

Continue Reading " Good Stuff: Remakes Of The Peekaru Picture "

Mar 17 2009 The World's Most Cussingest Video Game

Goes to Sega's The House of the Dead: Overkill for the Wii, with over 189 f-bombs dropped throughout the game. This knowledge comes to us from the ever diligent Guiness World Book of Records, who have apparently started recording the number of bad words in video games in addition to the world's longest toenails. Good for you. And what did Headstrong Games' writer Jonathan Burroughs have to say about the feat?

It is a dubious honour to receive such an accolade working in an industry where so often the fruits of your labours are derided and dismissed for being puerile or irresponsible, but in the case of The House of the Dead: OVERKILL a little puerility was the order of business. Parodying the profane excess of grindhouse cinema was Headstrong Games' objective and I am flattered that this record acknowledges that we not only rose to that challenge, but entirely exceeded it.

Nice. Do you see what happens? Do you see what happens, Jonathan? DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS!?! Congratulations. And also, OVER THE LINE! Mark it zero dude, next frame.

House Of The Dead: Overkill Sets World Record For Swearing [vgchartz]

Thanks to Julian, who once got kicked out of a class in college for cussing but then went to visit his professor during office hours and totally made out with her. Yeah, on her gradebook and everything. So, high-five for that, Julian.