Oct 26 2009 The Lullabelly: Music To Your (Baby's) Ears

The Lullabelly is a prenatal (I love those vitamins!) musical belt that pregnant women can strap on and connect to an MP3 player so they can play tunes to their babies while the little tykes are in utero. It's supposed to make them smarter or something but it will probably just make them want a drum set when they're young and fill your house with cacophony and make daddy drink more (I say go for it).

There's a volume control dial so things don't get too loud as well as a pocket for holding your player, and the whole thing is machine washable, after you take out the easy-to-remove speaker of course. It's available in 3 different fabric patterns (pink, green or blue polka dots) directly from the Lullabelly website for $55.

Pregnant women are beautiful, aren't they? God, sometimes I wish I could experience childbirth. But not as a father -- as a mother. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Did I get anybody? You all know me too well.

Lullabelly Prenatal Music Belt [ohgizmo]

May 26 2009 Om Nom Nom: The iPod Shuffle Bacon Case

In a recent interview, I got God to admit that bacon is, in fact, the perfect food, followed distantly by Snack Pack Pudding and Fruit Roll-Ups. So it only makes sense to swaddle your iPod Shuffle in the stuff, right? Enter the $19 Bacon Bits Case by Etsy seller Antjes. Too expensive? Find out where to score that bacon-print felt and make them yourself! Hell, you could make anything! Including, but not limited to: breakfast. What can I say, I like a little fur on my meat. Ladies?

Hit the jump for a couple more shots.

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Mar 10 2009 Control Your iPod With Facial Gestures

That's right, thanks to Kazuhiro Taniguchi of Osaka University, soon stopping the music on your iPod will be as simple as sticking out your ass-shaped tongue.

The Ear Switch looks like a normal set of headphones, according to an Agence France Press report, but includes a set of sensors that allows its on-board computer to measure tiny ear-canal movements.

The result, Taniguchi claimed, is that "an iPod can start or stop music when the wearer sticks his or her tongue out".

He added that the user can also skip to the next track by widely opening their eyes or skip back by winking. Other facial expressions could also be programmed to control other features.

Well that's a relief. I mean seriously, my fingers get tired of pushing all those little buttons anyways. I can see the bus now: wait, did you just wink at me? I said, STOP THE WINKING! That's it buddy, fisticuffs -- you asked for them!

Boffin unveils facial expression-controlled iPod [reghardware]

Thanks to Rick and krabivana, who control their iPods the way God intended: with child laborers.

Mar 9 2009 The Compact Disc Turned 30 Yesterday

That's right, March 8th marked the "historic demonstration of the first CD prototype codenamed 'Pinkeltje' on March 8th, 1979." Well congratulations, compact disc, I almost forgot you were still here.

While many would argue that the CD is on its way out in favor of smaller, highly portable MP3 files, the disc has definitely left a lasting mark on the industry. To date, over 3.5 billion audio CD players have been sold alongside 240 billion discs.

Damn -- that's a lot of discs! That's almost a quarter of a trillion dollars. And a trillion dollars, my friends, is how much money I have in the bank. It barely fits! Just sayin', bling bling, money ain't a thing. I'm talking skating rink ice. Ladies?

Compact Disc turns 30, MP3 doesn't bother to send a gift [engadget]

Thanks to Julian, who still buys tapes because he's smart enough to understand that technology comes in cycles.

Jan 30 2009 Really, Really Bad Idea: An MP3 Grenade

Folks, I've had a lot of really bad ideas in my life. And followed through with most of them. But that's neither here nor there, because one thing I never did was mod an inactive grenade into an MP3 player. Inside, modder Matt stuffed a 2GB Sansa Clip MP3 player. Hey Matt, you ever hear the story about that one guy that suspected that other guy of being a terrorist and called Homeland Security on him? Yeah, what's your address?

Hit the jump for another view of the guts.

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Jan 26 2009 Yes, Please: A Naked Stereo System

Ooh la la. This is a piece by Bob Turek in a series called Object Remix.

speakers

fiberglass mannequin
hand built stereo amplifier
36" x18" x12"
2008

As part of my object remix series, this stereo forces the music source into the center of attention and creates a radically new user interface

Ladies and gentlemen, it is official: I have touched music, and it felt good. Also, she's gonna need a new left speaker.

Object Remix [coroflot]

Thanks to Crystal, whose breasts sound like two angels singing "Happy Birthday".

Dec 30 2008 Spoiled Brats: The Cloud 9 Radio Flyer

The Cloud 9 by Radio Flyer is thankfully just conceptual at this time because no child, I don't care if they pick platinum boogers, deserves to ride around in such opulence. The questionable Flyer comes complete with two seats, MP3 player, speaker system, 5-point racing harnesses, and a digital display with temperature, odometer, and speedometer readouts. If the Cloud makes production, expect around a $1,000 pricetag. And to think: I spent my youth being pushed around in a wheelbarrow. For shame.

Radio Flyer Cloud 9 Wagon Crushes My Youthful Memories With MP3 Player, Bucket Seats [gizmodo]

Dec 11 2008 Oh Snap, There's A Zune Phone Coming!

Or is there? I don't know, I'm not good at speculation. But I am good at making shit up. And also, making out. Ladies?

According to Trip Chowdhry, an analyst at Global Equities Research, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer will announce a Zune-style mobile device during his keynote address at the upcoming Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, on January 7, 2009. In an article in Barron's, Chowdhry claims that the company's new centerpiece will combine the best features of the Zune media player with the hardware design of Danger's mobile Sidekick, in addition to "motion enhancement features," like an accelerometer.

Basically, this means the device will come with a physical keyboard like HTC's G1 and will likely feature a larger screen to accommodate heavy multimedia elements. And since we're all here copying each other's mobile phone features, we'll be shocked if the Zune phone doesn't feature multitouch capabilities.

Wow, way to make my new-phone boner shrivel like a century-old prune. Microsoft, Microsoft, Microsoft. Did you not learn anything from yesterday's lesson? Are you trying to drop hints about a new phone or not? If so, this is how it's done:

Steve Ballmer: Zune phone? Who said anything about a Zune phone? Psyche -- gimme them digits, bitches! BA-DOW!

Remember Microsoft, I'm still available for hire.

Rumor: Zune Phone Is Coming to CES 2009 [wired]

Thanks to Ain, who doesn't need a cellphone because he has two tin cans and long piece of string in his treefort.

Nov 18 2008 Questionable: Highly Inappropriate Zune Ad

Allegedly this is a spec ad made for the Microsoft Zune. If it's real, I hope Microsoft demanded their money back and told the ad agency responsible they're all a bunch of sick sickos. Because this is just wrong. I don't want to ruin it for you, but it's awful. And sick. And disgusting. And morally reprehensible. Ugh, just vile. And tactless. Okay, so how'd he do that? And will finger paint work?

Youtube

Thanks "Cool Zune Ad!" Frank, I'd hate to see what you consider an uncool Zune ad.

Oct 16 2008 Magnet Case Keeps Your iPod Stuck To You, And Also, This Is How You Sell Products

The iStik is a $27 iPod case that has neodymium magnets on its two parts so you can stick it to your bikini or running shorts (one magnetic piece goes on the inside, case goes on the outside). Pretty clever. And also, based purely on the above imagery, I just bought a dozen --and I don't even own an iPod! Now that's how you sell products. Advertisers take note: when in doubt, T&A. A letter, a symbol, and another letter to live by.

Hit the jump for another product shot.

Continue Reading " Magnet Case Keeps Your iPod Stuck To You, And Also, This Is How You Sell Products "

Jun 25 2008 Wilbur Would Be Outraged: Pig Earbuds

Pig earbuds cost $12 and makes it look like a little dachshund/pig hybrid has burrowed through your head whenever you listen to music. I guess they're probably more for chicks. Or maybe guys that need a conversation starter. What the hell, I'll try anything twice.

Chick on the bus: "Hey, are those pig earbuds?"
Me: "HUH?"
Chick on the bus: "I SAID, ARE THOSE PIG EARBUDS?"
Me: "Hell yeah, you like 'em?"
Chick on the bus: "You look like a freaking idiot."
Me: "I am one!"

Pigbuds: 'cause your ears are purty too [engadget]
and
I Want Pig Ear Phones From Japan [rinkya]

Thanks Ray and Laurel, they're kind of growing on me now.

May 8 2008 Hood.e Hoodie Features Integrated Speakers

The hood.e is the brainchild of Tim Dubitsky. It is currently being prototyped, as Tim continues to work out the kinks (like if you should wash speakers on the hot/cold or warm/warm setting). Tim has this to say about music and how it should be listened to:

There is a soundtrack to life, and now it's not just in your head. Throw on your hood.e, plug in your favorite mp3 player, and you're ready to roll (and rock). The embedded speakers make it possible for you to share your latest favorite track without the awkward ties of a tethered earbud. After all, music should enhance your life, not shut it out.

There's a soundtrack to life, huh? If that's the case mine would be filled with tracks about being in a dead-end relationship with yourself, having an ex-wife and two kids that hate you, and trying to kill yourself in the oven but failing because you can't afford to pay the gas bill. I'm sure people would love listening to that soundtrack.

Another picture of the hoodie after the jump.

Continue Reading " Hood.e Hoodie Features Integrated Speakers "

Feb 26 2008 LEGO MP3 Players: The Best Of Both Worlds

Everybody loves LEGO. Everybody loves music. So the LEGO-looking MP3 player just makes sense. Homade MP3 players (guaranteed to be built by an actual prostitute) are available in a variety of colors and each "comes with a built-in rechargeable Li-ion battery that should give you about 6 hours of play time." They run $46, but you'll have to supply your own microSD packed with music. I'm still considering getting one. I think more things should come with LEGO-like styling. Like food. And as unbelievable as it may sound, my petition to get LEGO blocks represented in the food pyramid has been met with staunch resistance. But I shall not fail: Viva la LEGO food group revolucion!

Continue Reading " LEGO MP3 Players: The Best Of Both Worlds "

Jan 22 2008 Powerstick USB Charger Is Small, Tempting

The Powerstick is a little 40 gram device designed to recharge your gadgets when they run out of juice (not the fruit variety, I'm talking power here). It fully recharges via USB in 90 minutes and is then ready to charge your mobile devices. "It can charge a portable device as fast as a wall charger can, and will in theory double the battery life of your phone, PDA or MP3 player. It even includes 9 connectors covering everything from Nokia, Sony Ericsson, LG, Motorola, Blackberry and Samsung phones to the iPod and even the iPhone." The thing costs $70 and has a nice little gas gauge style power meter on top. A nice touch if I do say so myself. Speaking of nice touches, I need a massage. First one to come over with some scented massage oils wins the annual "Give The Geekologie Writer A Massage" contest. Winner takes home a mysterious rash and any unused oils.

Powerstick Portable USB Charger [ohgizmo]

Jan 18 2008 MP3 Player Looks And Acts Like A Cassette

The Cassette MP3 Player can be used as a stand alone MP3 player with headphones, or inserted into any cassette deck and played that way. It plays the music directly off the SD card and will function with the controls on your tape deck. Still, it's not the worst way to spend $22. Definitely better than stuffing it down the g-string of a stripper you've fallen in love with. Actually, no it's not. Well it's a lot better than blowing it all on booze. Nope, not that either. Okay, it has got to be better than paying a soccer team $22 to each running-kick you in your change purse as hard as they can. Eh, it might be better than that.

Product Site

Thanks to Melissa, who is awesome and can make a wicked mix tape, for the tip

Jan 14 2008 SkullCandy Headphones Feature MP3 Player

SkullCandy, who has been featured here before, was showing off a new product at the recent CES -- Double Agent headphones that have an SD slot and incorporated MP3 player. The units are rechargeable, take any size SD card, and are controlled with the buttons on the side of one of the phones. They're supposed to hit streets sometime in March or April, but no word on price. I'm definitely getting a pair to help drown out the demonic voice I hear otherwise. It's awful -- this evil demon tells me to do terrible things like 'the dishes' and 'the laundry'. Once it even made me mow the lawn. I'm really starting to wish I'd never married it.

Double Agent: new headphones with SD card from SkullCandy [ubergizmo]

Nov 14 2007 MP3 Player For Dogs Is Gold, Gaudy, Fugly

Korean company Innobitz has released the JooZoo, which is a gold and diamond encrusted MP3 player for dogs. It's supposed to "enhance your pet’s physical health and relieve stress through automatic content responding to various pet behaviors." Or make it kill itself if you blast death metal. Currently only available in Korea, it's going worldwide soon with a price tag of $1,500-$2,000. If you're one of those people that paints their dog and dresses them up and shit like that then maybe this is for you. My dog won't be opening one of these on Christmas though. He's getting the same thing he gets every year. Dog food. Maybe some water if he doesn't piss in the house between now and then.

A sexy bitch modeling the unit after the belly rub.

Continue Reading " MP3 Player For Dogs Is Gold, Gaudy, Fugly "

Sep 4 2007 German Pants Have iPod Controls

These suede German lederhosen have integrated iPod controls beneath one of the pockets. The MP3 player is integrated into the pants as well, but where is a mystery -- hopefully not too close to where your change purse hangs. I don't like the idea of electronics too close to the jewels. I bet you could ride the subway with these things on and play with yourself the whole time. If anyone screams just point to the controls and tell them you're trying to find your favorite song. Then when they ask why you have your ding-a-ling in your hand just throw in that you're German and you'll be good to go.

German Pants Have iPod Controls [ohgizmo]

Aug 2 2007 Cardboard Boombox iPod Speakers

SUCK UK is selling a folded cardboard boombox that holds your iPod and even features functioning speakers. It'll be out in September, though I'm not sure why they decided to go with cardboard and not a more practical material. The beats I drop would probably catch this thing on fire. Oh, yes, ladies, my taste in music is hot.

Product Page [SUCK UK]

Jul 31 2007 NES MP3 player and speakers

Gamer Morte Moya put together an MP3 player from an old NES controller, and then took it a step further by making a speaker out of an NES game cartridge. He says:

“Some of you may have seen my NES Controller MP3 player. This is a companion project for it. I sometimes like to sit around and listen to music so I made these powered speakers. And since it was to go with the NES controller I made it in a NES cartridge.

Now before you even read any further. These are not really loud. Just so you know. They are great for sitting at your desk, but you would not want to have them as music for a party or anything. Now you could make a larger more powerful amp, but I didn’t. Just FYI.”

First a computer mouse, and now an MP3 player and speakers? I'm excited to see what the future holds in the noble art of NES controller stuffing. I think if I try hard enough I might be able to fit my entire car into there.

More images and video of the NES sound system after the jump.

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