Dec 24 2008 Best iPhone App To Date Rejected By Apple

iBoobs, undeniably the best iPhone application to date, has been denied the right to be sold in the iTunes store, because Apple claims the app is pornographic. Which, I think we can all agree, is utterly ridiculous. And by "utterly ridiculous" I mean I popped like 16 boners.

Youtube

Thanks to Dylan, who agrees that Apple wouldn't be where they are today if it weren't for pornography. Remember your roots.

Jul 28 2008 Holy Smokes: Slow Motion Face Punches

This is a slow-motion video of a bunch of people getting punched in the face. It's very scientific and I learned a lot about physics and anatomy and how they should have thrown a brick instead.

Slow-Motion Punches [collegehumor]

Thanks Lee, now sit still, this won't hurt a bit.

Jun 24 2008 Melon-Powered Device Chargers Coming

So I'm making today Kinetic Energy Day on Geekologie. First the Dance Charger, and now the possibility of bra electitricity.

It turns out that the physics of breast motion have been studied closely for the last two decades by a gamut of researchers, most of them women with the exception of The Geekologie Writer. LaJean Lawson, a former professor of exercise science at Oregon State University, has studied breast motion since 1985 and now works as a consultant for companies like Nike to develop better sports bra designs.

Lawson explained that breasts move on three different axes: from side to side, front to back, and up and down. The most motion is generated on the vertical axis. Naturally, the bigger the breast, the more momentum it generates. "Let's face it--if you're a double-A marathoner, you're probably not going to get that iPod up and running," Lawson said. Measurements compiled by Lawson and her colleagues show that a D-cup in a low-support bra can travel as much as 35 inches up and down (35 inches!) during exercise, while a B-cup in a high-support bra barely moves an inch.

ZOINKS! Honestly, I have no idea if boob-power is possible or not because I stopped reading the article there and started speculating with The Superficial Writer if there's a chick in the world with the melons to jump start a car. What can I say, we're scientists.

Victoria's Circuit - Harnessing the untapped power of breast motion [slate]

Thanks Chuck and Katlyn, I'll never look at knockers the same way again.

Oct 18 2007 No-Touch Faucet Is Better Than Not Washing

If there's one thing I hate, it's touching things. Things are gross and covered with germs. Well thanks to the Miscea Sensor Activated Faucet, there's one less thing you have to touch in the world -- sink knobs. You turn the water on by waving your hand, and can increase/decrease the temperature or dispense soap with similar motions. Sure it's a good idea, but not as good as mine. It's called not washing. Sure you just had your penis in your hand, but that's okay -- it's your penis. If it was the guy's next to you, well, that's a whole different thing.

No-touch, five-feature sink faucet [core77]

Oct 5 2007 Lamp Works Without Touching, Clapping

The Airswitch Lamp works without ever having to touch it. You just swipe your hand over it and it turns on and off. You place your hand over the lamp and either raise or lower it in order to adjust brightness. They cost $79 and come in red, orange, blue and green. The only problem is, unlike the clapper, you have to be within arm's reach of the lamp in order to control it. I have a better system, but it works on a similar premise. I swipe my hand across my girlfriend's ass, follow it with a "get the damn light woman" and ta-da, off it goes.

AirSwitch Lamp: The New Clapper [uberreview]