Nov 13 2009 NASA: 'Significant' Water Found On The Moon. Yeah, But What About Dragons?!

Remember how NASA tried to blow up the moon to get at its molten cheese core? Well apparently they discovered a 'significant' amount of water in the process. Adult swim!

The discovery was announced by project scientist Anthony Colaprete at a midday news conference. "Indeed, yes, we found water," he said.

The find is based on preliminary data collected when the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite, or LCROSS, intentionally crashed October 9 into the permanently shadowed region of Cabeus crater near the moon's south pole.

After the satellite struck, a rocket flew through the debris cloud, measuring the amount of water and providing a host of other data, Colaprete said.

"The discovery opens a new chapter in our understanding of the moon," the space agency said in a written statement shortly after the briefing began.

Hell yes a new chapter in understanding the moon!

CHAPTER 6: Water On The Moon

There is water on the moon. Specifically, frozen water.

THE END

NASA finds 'significant' water on moon [cnn]
and
Picture [juliefainart]

Thanks to AZ-TRO-NOT, joey, STephen and Lizze, who found Kool-Aid on the moon but you probably never heard about it because of the massive conspiracy.

Nov 6 2009 Geekologie Reader Snaps Shot Of Moon Dog

I'm not going to lie to you (although I usually do), I had no idea what a moon dog was when Geekologie Reader em_kay11 sent me this picture (high-res version HERE) of one he took early Wednesday morning. Per Wikipedia:

A moon dog or moondog (scientific name paraselene, plural paraselenae, i.e. "beside the moon") is a relatively rare bright circular spot on a lunar halo caused by the refraction of moonlight by hexagonal-plate-shaped ice crystals in cirrus or cirrostratus clouds. Moondogs appear to the left and right of the moon 22° or more distant. They are exactly analogous to sun dogs, but are rarer because to be produced the moon must be bright and therefore full or nearly full. Moondogs show little color to the unaided eye because their light is not bright enough to activate the color photoreceptors in humans.

Cool, a moondog! Can we keep it, daddy? Can we pleaaaase? I'll feed it and walk it every day. And if it ever moon-cheeses on the carpet I promise I'll clean it up and spray the area real good with pet odor-neutralizer and everything. No? Well how about a reptile? I like turtles.

Thanks em_kay11, now how about a mooncat?

Oct 24 2009 The Internet Moon Is A Series Of Tubes!

So apparently the moon might consist of a network of interconnected tubes, like Swiss cheese. OMG the astronauts are gonna eat it! AAAAAAAAAAH I'M SO JEALOUS!

Images have revealed a hole on the Moon's surface that is at least 260 feet deep and may lead to an underground tunnel more than 1,200 feet wide which is part of an entire network of such winding tubes.

Scientists are hoping for clearer shots from NASA's Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter, but the impression so far is that such a tunnel network could provide shelter for astronauts or potential future Moon colonists.

Two words: giant space worms. Shut up, the giant is silent! But only while he sleeps. Kidding, he's a snorer! I'm not insane, you're insane! Plus a jerk.

Newly Discovered Hole On Moon Leads To Network Of Tubes [gizmodo]

Oct 17 2009 Europa Has Enough Oxygen To Support Life?

So apparently one of Jupiter's moons, Europa, might have enough oxygen to support life. Well that's cool BECAUSE I'M TOTALLY MOVING THERE. Who's with me? You better shower!

The global ocean on Jupiter's moon Europa contains about twice the liquid water of all the Earth's oceans combined. New research suggests that there may be plenty of oxygen available in that ocean to support life, a hundred times more oxygen than previously estimated.

The chances for life there have been uncertain, because Europa's ocean lies beneath several miles of ice, which separates it from the production of oxygen at the surface by energetic charged particles (similar to cosmic rays). Without oxygen, life could conceivably exist at hot springs in the ocean floor using exotic metabolic chemistries, based on sulfur or the production of methane. However, it is not certain whether the ocean floor actually would provide the conditions for such life.

Hell yeah, Europa -- I've always wanted to visit Holland! Do they really wear those wooden shoes?

Jupiter's Moon Europa Has Enough Oxygen For Life [physorg]

Thanks to Kelly, who can come with me provided she steer the spaceship while I get drunk and puke out a porthole.

Oct 16 2009 Coool!: Earth And Jupiter In The Same Photo

This is an amazing photograph of the earth (and moon) and Jupiter (and a few of its moons) in the same frame. Now I know what you're thinking, and no, God didn't take this one.

Sometimes the planets line up in such a way that you can see Earth and Jupiter in the same wide-angle shot. That is, if you were aboard the Mars Global Surveyor on May 22, 2003. When the Mars Orbiter Camera snapped this unique view, Earth was 86 million miles away, and Jupiter was 600 million miles away.

Wow, that really gets you thinking, doesn't it? Like about how far objects in space are from one another. Really far. And speaking of which -- will one of you be so kind as to walk the remote over here?

Hit the jump to see a diagram explaining how the planets were aligned.

Continue Reading " Coool!: Earth And Jupiter In The Same Photo "

Oct 8 2009 Well, It's Been Nice Knowing You: NASA Plans To Blow Up The Moon Tomorrow Morning

NOTE: If you're reading this after 7:30AM Eastern you may be dead.

As you may recall from the Pulitzer-winning article I wrote back in June (and an even ooolder article from April '06) , NASA plans to blow up the moon by crashing the $79 million Lunar Crater Observation and its Sensing Satellite (LCROSS) into the Cabeus crater on the moon's south pole.

When the twin crafts hit the lunar surface at around 6,000 mph, NASA expects "plumes of moon dust -- perhaps full of ice -- (to soar) 6.2 miles high above the moon's Cabeus crater."

NASA hopes the explosion and resulting unmooning (see what I did there? Like unearthing!) will finally settle whether there's ice and water under the moon's surface. And, if so, if it's potable. Nice, NASA -- TOO BAD YOU'RE GONNA BLOW THE MOON IN TWO LIKE BUTTCHEEKS! And do you even know what that's gonna do to the ocean's tides? I mean, besides make for the most epic day of bodyboarding EVER. See you at the beach, suckers!

NASA Will Bomb The Moon Tomorrow [io9]
and
NASA Attacks the Moon [yahoonews]

Thanks to JFreezy, Sean, The Superficial Writer, Benjamin and moses, who are gonna finish the moon off with a giant laser if NASA's plan doesn't work.

Jul 20 2009 Wrong: Creating Advertisements On The Moon

The natural satellite burglars over at Moon Publicity want to create ads on the moon by using robots that can draw in the dust. The whole idea has several problems. 1. robots and 2. ADVERTISING ON THE MOON. Like the aliens don't already hate us enough.

WEST VALLEY CITY, Utah, July 20 /PRNewswire/ -- It's one giant leap for robot-kind. New Shadow Shaping technology creates images on the Moon that can be seen from Earth. Robots are used to create several small ridges in the lunar dust over large areas that capture shadows and shape them to form logos, domains names, memorials or even portraits. Talk about the Man in the Moon! You can even carve your initials in a heart to impress your sweetheart.

As outerspace-y as I am, I just can't approve of etching a bunch of shit in the moon. I mean, it's like a landmark, you know? That would be like giving the Washington Monument a giant pair of balls, which, okay that would be cool.

Idiots Want Robots to Draw Ads On the Moon's Surface [gizmodo]

Thanks to Julian, who agrees GEEKOLOGIE.COM is pretty much the only thing cool enough to belong on the moon.

Jun 17 2009 Oh Great: NASA Plans To Blow Up The Moon

That's right folks, NASA plans to shoot a giant missile at the moon and make it go boom. BOOM SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE THE MOON!

In an unprecedented scientific endeavor -- and what may be one of the coolest space missions ever -- NASA is preparing to fly a rocket booster into the moon, triggering a six-mile-high explosion that scientists hope will confirm the presence of water.

The four-month mission of the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS), which will be directed from NASA's Ames Research Center at Moffett Field, is to discover whether water is frozen in the perpetual darkness of craters near the moon's south pole. As a potential source of oxygen for life support and hydrogen for rocket fuel, that water would be a tremendous boost to NASA's plans to restart human exploration of the moon.

Come on NASA -- as pro blowing stuff up as I am, there has got to be an easier way to find out if there's water on the moon. Like, oh I dunno, ASKING THE MOON PEOPLE. Hey, moon-chick, is there water in the moon? "ZIP ZAP ZIP YES WE DRINK IT". Ta-da, mystery solved. But while you're here, how about flashing those blue cheese boobs in my direction one more time?

NASA/Ames ready to explode one of the coolest space missions ever [siliconvalley]

Thanks to meeotch, who wants to ride the rocket when it goes. Me too, meeotch, me too.

Jun 8 2009 It's About Time: Haynes Manual For Apollo 11

This is the $29 Haynes Owners' Workshop Manual for all the vehicles and equipment used during the Apollo 11 mission to the moon. I'm still gonna pick up a copy, despite deciding to build my own rocketship for scratch (I'm hoping for pointers on seducing moon-women).

On 20 July 1969, US astronaut Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon. This is the story of the Apollo 11 mission and the 'space hardware' that made it all possible. This manual looks at the evolution and design of the mighty Saturn V rocket, the Command and Service Modules, and the Lunar Module. It describes the space suits worn by the crew and their special life support and communications systems.

There you have it, everything you need to know about how to fly a mission to the moon 40 years ago. Of course, things have changed since then. Namely, US women now have the right to vote. Yeah, and we haven't sent anyone else to the moon in 37 years. Coincidence, or should women not be allowed to drive? You decide.

Product Site
via
NASA Apollo 11 Service Manual From Haynes [ohgizmo]

May 22 2009 Magical Wolf Shirt Receives Rave Reviews

A shirt being sold by Amazon that features three wolf heads howling at the moon has receiving over 500 reviews and seriously increased sales. Most of the reviews mention the shirt's magical properties. Here's the one that got it all started:

This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

There you have it. The review was so popular that wolf shirt sales have gone through the roof (up 2,300%), with everybody else trying to score a piece of the magic. Hell, the BBC even did a story on it. Now, if you'll excu....*ripping track jacket off* OW OW OOOOOOOOOWWW!! Come on -- who likes it hairy?

Amazon Product Site
and
Joke review boosts T-shirt sales [bbcnews]

Thanks to gizmoduck, The Superficial Writer, pironic, debaser, Mubbly, Ben, Jacob, Danimal, Pete, Yopoleo, Richard Belding, Brett and Ryan, who know a shirt that will get that ladies when they see it.

May 1 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Growing Plants On The Moon

Paragon Space Development Corporation, a NASA subcontractor, has decided to take a stab at growing plants in a specially designed greenhouse on the moon. THE MOON! The attempt will take place in 2012, so we may or may not get to see if it works before the world ends.

In order to successfully grow a plant on the moon, Paragon has developed a very specialized greenhouse that can safely contain a plant and provide it with all elements it needs to survive. The greenhouse will need to protect the plant from the sun's intense rays while providing it with enough water, balanced soil, and carbon dioxide while removing its waste oxygen.

Paragon has chosen a species within Brassica (the mustard family), due to their quick growth and the abundance of knowledge about the plant. A typical Brassica needs 14 days of light in order to grow, flower and then set seed. A lunar day is 14 Earth days long, so if the landing is timed perfectly, it will allow just enough time for the plant to grow to maturity and possibly re-seed.

Nice, but you really think anyone cares about growing mustard on the moon? No, I'm convinced there's a much more diabolical motive behind this experiment. Namely, government space weed.

First Gardens on the Moon by 2012! [inhabitat]

Thanks to Chuck Nunchuck and toast king, who once got high on Mars and thought they saw an alien. It was a rock.

Mar 18 2009 Rare Quadruple Moon Transit On Saturn

Will you look at that -- four of Saturn's moons (from left to right) Enceladus, Dione, Titan, and Mimas, all transiting its face at the same time. Amazing! This picture was taken by the Hubble Space Telescope and just recently released by NASA. You know, pictures like this really get me thinking about the beauty of space and just how small we are compared to the vast expanse outside our own atmosphere. Also, naked-ass aliens gettin' freaky deaky on the moon.

Hit the jump for a cool time lapse photo of the transit in progress.

Continue Reading " Rare Quadruple Moon Transit On Saturn "

Mar 5 2009 Little Moon Spotted Hiding In Saturn's Rings

Saturn, the second largest moon-whore in the solar system (behind Jupiter), has been caught hiding another trick in one of it's outer rings. What a slut!

The discovery of what appeared to astronomers as a faint, moving pinprick of light, was announced by the International Astronomical Union.

The international Cassini spacecraft spotted the small moon, which measures about a third of a mile wide.

Pfft -- 1/3 mile wide? That ain't no moon. That ain't even a moonlet. That, my friends, is a moonatoid. Come get some, Pluto!

'Moonlet' Found in Outer Saturn Ring [discovery]

Thanks to tarastars, who once stole a moon from Neptune and sold it at a yard sale to buy a video game.

Jan 25 2009 Vroom Vroom For Six, Please: A Racecar Limo

This street-legal racecar limo is actually available for hire and can allegedly reach up to 300MPH. Of course your sissy of a driver will probably never top 65MPH, but that's because this whole idea is stupid. Unless you get a couple highspeed track runs before going to you to the dance, in which case, maybe. All I'm saying is if I had gone to prom in that mother, I most certainly would have gotten to touch a boob. And by touch a boob I obviously mean cop a feel. I'm thinking the old "sudden braking" reach across.

Street-legal open-wheeled limousine aims for 300mph [dvice]

Nov 24 2008 $450,000 Watch Features Real Moon Dust

The DNA Moon Dust Watch from Geneva watchmaker Romain Jerome was created to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the moon landing is limited to a not-so-limited edition of 1,969 (get it, because of the year?).

'The case of the watch is made with steel melted with fragments of the Apollo 11.

'The dial and face is made from minerals that include real dust from the moon - this is a world first. The moon dust had been melted into it.

Each piece will run between $15,000 and $450,000, depending on the amount of moon dust (cheap bastards didn't even use cheese) and Apollo metal included. Some of the straps are even made from the fibers of a spaceshit! Wait, I meant suit, spacesuit. Anyway, this is a total ripoff. I bought an authentic angel dust watch from a tweaker for only $20. Whee, ants are crawling under my skin!

The watch that is out of this world: Timepiece made from moon dust will cost £300,000 [dailymail]

Thanks to Uncle Eccoli, who doesn't need a moon dust watch to know it's time to party.

Jul 18 2008 Moon Transits Earth: Time-Lapse Video Caught From A Cool 31 Million Miles Away

This is a time-lapse video taken by NASA's EPOXI spacecraft from 31 million miles. It's pretty awe-inspiring. Halfway through the moon makes an appearance. You know, just to say what's up. In other lunar news: tonight's a full moon, so go check that shit out. But remember: If it's hairy, you're probably standing on the bathroom sink with your head between your legs, staring at your own ass in the mirror. Go outside.

HOLY FRAK! Moon transits Earth! [discover]

Apr 21 2008 Sweet: We Can Now Grow Plants In Moondust

I've been itching to live on the moon for as long as I can remember (~ last Wednesday). So boy was I excited when I learned that scientists have figured out how to grow plants in moondust. All it took was some special bacteria that helps transfer nutrients from the soil (if you can call it that) to the plants. As you can see from the picture, those flowers weeds are really thriving in the stuff. Well, except for pot 3, that one isn't doing so hot. Reminds me of the rose bush I planted for my wife in the cat's litterbox.

Scientists figure out how to grow plants in moondust [dvice]

Apr 1 2008 Fullmoon Table Is Sweet, Glows In The Dark

The Fullmoon sideboard table by Sotirios Papadopoulos (hell yeah!) has a giant, and accurate, picture of the moon on it. But that's not all! It, get this -- glows! In the dark. It's painted with a special eco-safe glowing paint that is only slightly radioactive. Not enough to really do anything to you, but don't have children. Not that they'd be affected by the table or anything, I just don't like kids. Kidding, I love the little bastards. And the table won't really do anything to you. Except keep you up at night. Maybe stub your toe in the morning.

A picture of the table being not so glow-y after the jump.

Continue Reading " Fullmoon Table Is Sweet, Glows In The Dark "

Mar 28 2008 NASA Testing Lunar Chariot Vehicle For Moon, I Wouldn't Be Caught Dead On It

This is NASA's Lunar Chariot, a six wheeled, all-wheel-drive, all-wheel-steering vehicle for the moon mission scheduled in 2020. It will be used to bulldoze roads, dig trenches, and drill for minerals on the moon thanks to its numerous attachments. Now I find this fascinating and all, and you know I love outerspace as much as the next boy-astronaut, but I still have one problem -- it's fugly as hell. It looks like a mechanical crab with wheels.

Aliens exist. And since the moon is a logical place for visiting aliens to stop for a cold drink, snacks, and to use the pisser before hitting earth, we should make the best impression possible. Now what if they come and see this goofy bastard lumbering around? They're going to laugh at us. Get with it NASA! I'll be damned if I miss my opportunity to score sweet alien poon because you were too cheap to make a cooler looking moon vehicle.

Video of the testing after the jump.

Continue Reading " NASA Testing Lunar Chariot Vehicle For Moon, I Wouldn't Be Caught Dead On It "

Feb 20 2008 Tonight's The Night For Sky Watching

There's a total lunar eclipse tonight that you should probably step outside and take a look at later. "The moon will be completely within the shadow of the Earth as of 10pm EST, and won’t start to come out again until 10:50pm. During that time it’ll turn a lovely reddish-orange, thanks to the sunrises and sunsets refracting light past the limbs of the Earth."

Also during that time the US is going to try to shoot down the spy satellite we've been hearing so much about lately. They're going to use a modified SM-3 missile launched from sea near Hawaii and I'm totally going to go pick up the pieces which are expected to land in central Canada. They've got to be worth something right? It's like when I was a kid and dug up baby dinosaur bones in the backyard. I was so excited I tried to sell them to a museum. That's when my parents broke it to me that they were the remains of Nibbles, my guinea pig. Those assholes had told me he was on vacation.

Spacewatch: Wednesday Is A Big Night [ohgizmo]