Apr 30 2009 Highly Questionable, Volatile: Robot Milk

I have no idea what the hell robot milk is (likely poison), but it looks thicker than the BBW in my fetish mag. Also, how the hell does one go about procuring robot milk? Because if it's anything like milking a bull, the The Superficial Writer wants in.

Robot Milk [friggingrandom]

Thanks to Bo, who once milked a goat and then made goat cheese and sold it at a farmer's market. Good looking, Bo.

Feb 20 2009 Coca-Cowla, Now With More Bovine Urine

Cow urine soda, folks, it quenches your thirst and is packed with vitamins like Yellow #5. Mmmm, delicious AND nutritious.

The Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), a Hindu nationalist conservative party, plans to sell 'Gau Jal', or 'Cow Water', as a rival to soft drink giants Pepsi and Coca Cola...the drink will not contain any additives and that inclusion of medicinal and ayurvedic herbs ensures it doesn't smell bad.

The cow is sacred to Hindus and the RSS has already promoted its urine as a cure for everything from liver disease to cancer.

Well sign me up for a case. And also, how do they collect all this cow urine. Is it anything like collecting semen from a bull? If so, count me in!

Hindu group makes cola from cow urine [msn]

Thanks to Ramy and Cosmic Rocket Man, who once drank Chupacabra urine and developed x-ray vision. Sweet!

Feb 4 2009 Lightning Hits Cow, Cow Lives To Moo About It

The cow featured here, who we will refer to as "Well Done", was struck by lightning and lived to chew grass and moo about it, which is apparently rare.

When lightning hits the ground, current flows through the earth in a wide area around the point of impact. This is how a lightning strike can kill a field full of cows - the long wheelbase of the average cow means that a nearby strike induces a significant potential difference across the ground spanned by the cow's front and back legs; current flows through cow, cow dies.

For those of you who aren't science-minded, let me break that down in layman's terms: basically lightning strikes a cow, and makes it delicious. I smell barbecue! Or a cow on fire, same difference.

The path lightning takes through a cow [tywkiwdbi]

Thanks to towhee monster, who attracts lightning like she does men -- with witchcraft.

Jan 20 2009 Cows With Holes Directly To Their Stomachs

And I'm not talking about their mouths either! Or assholes. I'm talking hole holes, like, holy shit(!), that cow has a freaking hole in it!

These cows have been given a fistula, a hole directly into the stomach that scientists can reach into and study to see how certain foods get digested. Through this kind of work, better food can be concocted and studies into stomach cancer and other problems can be conducted. Although it looks inhumane, the cows don't seem to mind.

*HORF* You know, now that I think about it, I think they had a cow like this at Virginia Tech when I was there. Of course, I never saw it because I wasn't allowed anywhere near the animal husbandry department. Funny story -- did you know sheep can file restraining orders?

Hit the jump for some even more disturbing imagery.

Continue Reading " Cows With Holes Directly To Their Stomachs "

Jul 15 2008 Scientists Collect Cow Toots To Better Understand Their Effects On Global Warming

Argentinian scientists are collecting cow gas in an effort to understand how the methane produced by our bovine brethren is affecting the global solar cooker we call earth and its atmosphere.

As one of the world's biggest beef producers, Argentina has more than 55 million cows grazing in its famed Pampas grasslands.

Guillermo Berra, a researcher at the National Institute of Agricultural Technology, said every cow produces between 800 to 1,000 liters of emissions every day.

Methane, which is also released from landfills, coal mines and leaking gas pipes, is 23 times more effective at trapping heat in the atmosphere than carbon dioxide.

Every cow produces 1,000 liters of emissions? Holy hellfire. I can't believe we can even breathe anymore. The scientists hope that by understanding the process by which cattle produce methane, they'll be able to alter their diets to produce less of the gas. Well call me old fashioned, but I think there's a much more logical, less scientific method for getting a cow to produce less tootage -- make them huff their own gas bags. Now I don't like awards ceremonies, so just go ahead and send the Nobel Prize to my parent's house.

Cow farts collected in plastic tank for global warming study [telegraph]

Thanks Jim and Julian, is it true that huffing cow ass gets you high?