May 26 2009 Modern Fossils: When A Dino Bone Won't Do
Christopher Locke makes modern fossils using gadgets of yesteryear and concrete. Then he sells them to make a profit because he's smart and doesn't want to hold a real job. I'm with you, Chris.
The modern Fossils are made from actual archaic technology that was once cutting-edge. Most of these examples were discovered in the United States, although the various species are represented all over the world.
In a special process, these items are reproduced in a proprietary blend of concrete and other secret ingredients, giving them the look and feel of real stone fossils. Each fossil is made one at a time, by hand, in an individual mold.
Depending on the species, expect to pay between $65-$100 per fossil. Or, make your own with a bag of concrete and a broken controller. Here, I'll even give away Chris's secret ingredients: rocks and sand. GO GO GO!
Hit the jump to see a bunch more and a link to the product page.
Continue Reading " Modern Fossils: When A Dino Bone Won't Do "
Apr 18 2009 Crazy Sink Is Crazy, Drains Onto The Floor
The Abisko Washbasin from Eumar isn't even a basin. It's a freaking waterslide. A waterslide sink that drains onto the floor. How hilarious would it be if some bar installed this thing and forgot to put in the drain? Or even better -- you clogged it with a bunch of paper towels! HAHAHA, water damage is so funny! But seriously, it would be cool to spit blood in the sink and watch it sail down the stream. And why would you be spitting blood? I dunno, sometimes you just *WA-POW!* that's why.
Hit the jump for a bunch more of the questionable modernity.
Continue Reading " Crazy Sink Is Crazy, Drains Onto The Floor "
Apr 15 2009 Blocky, Reaaaally Blocky: Tetris Furniture
Tetris furniture: it just makes sense. Furniture is blocky, tetrads are blocky, BOOM-SHACKA-SHAKE'N'BAKE -- Tetris furniture. It's tetradical! Except -- why does that long block have five squares?
Artists Diego Silvério and Helder Filipov have created a beautiful furniture design that uses the Tetris bricks we have all known to both love and hate. The different bricks combined show many different options and ways for gamers to also have a great looking room and profess their utmost love for the original Tetris game.
ZOMG, I want all long pieces! No, wait, squares! And go ahead and throw in some of those L's. Fine, I'll take them all. But for free. Seriously, this is a gun. *PEW PEW* Haha, did I say gun? I meant laser blaster.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the possibilities.
Continue Reading " Blocky, Reaaaally Blocky: Tetris Furniture "
Feb 2 2009 What, Why?: A See-Through Glass Pool Table
I don't get it -- I don't need to see my feet while I'm shooting pool. But if you have a foot fetish and some serious coin ($25,150), you can pick up a G1 Glass Top Pool Table. It's freaking glass covered in some patented (and likely cancerous) material called Vitrik that allegedly plays like felt. I don't believe a word of it, but there's a video after the jump so you can draw your own conclusions. And, while you're at it, how about a unicorn for yours truly?
Hit the jump for several more pictures and the video.
Continue Reading " What, Why?: A See-Through Glass Pool Table "
Apr 28 2008 The Urban Security Suit Protects, Looks Good
The Urban Security Suit is the brainchild of Dutch designer Tim Smit. It's a jacket/hoodie made out of neoprene with body molded kevlar added in all the right places. As an added bonus it's got a gas mask pocket and is white with gray accents. No word on if they'll really be made or if Tim is just waving his dong in the wind, but either way, I want one. I already have a gas mask though, so I don't want to pay extra for that. I like the look, I think it makes you look like some sort of modern ninja. And, as someone who was born with a ninjato sword for one arm and a grappling hook (sorry, mom) for the other, I think I'd know. Not only that, but I've since had my eyes replaced with throwing stars. So yeah, I'm pretty much a ninja authority and all around bad-ass mother (literally, I left my kid at Arby's once). Did I mention I've beat every Ninja Gaiden game ever made? Because I have.
Several more pictures of the suit after the jump.
Continue Reading " The Urban Security Suit Protects, Looks Good "
Feb 21 2008 Another Awesome House I Will Never Own
The Quetzalcoatl Nest home was designed by the same architect as the Nautilus House featured last week. It's ridiculously ridiculous and I want it so bad but know I will never ever in my wildest dreams get to live in something half as cool (right now I'm living in a Dodge Neon on cinderblocks in a bad part of town, which is approximately one-quadrillionth as cool). So, yeah. Hold on somebody's at my trashbag and tape window. Oh, gotta go, I'm being robbed.
A ton more pictures after the jump, along with a link to the architect's website.
Dec 7 2007 TwistTogether Lamps Look Pretty Okay
TwistTogether lamps twist together. Each brick has several twist-together points and can be attached to one another in a variety of different positions. You can connect as many sets together as you want. The company is releasing wall mounts, shelving modules, and a bunch of other exciting new accessories for the line soon. A set comes with four bricks and costs $109. Which is a little steep for a lamp. But what the hell, Christmas is coming. I'm going to get some for the kids' room. Wait, no, I remodeled that room. Now it's my porn palace and LEGO modeling area. Well, I'll still get some for the kids anyways. I reckon their shed out back needs some light.
Please note: The geekologie writer does not have any kids. And if he did they wouldn't live in a shed. That would be cruel to a child. That's why their mother would live there.
Video of lots of lamp twisting action after the jump.
Nov 16 2007 Bird Bath Induction Charger Looks Good
Induction recharge devices have existed for a little while, but this one adds some flair to the typically boring design of such units. This unnamed charger by designer Sun Kyung Kim resembles a little bird bath. When you place your phone on the unit the water ripples act as a visual indicator of your current charge level. It looks good in a cute sort of way, but I can't get one. I just don't have room in my tenement for a phone charger the size of a huge dinner plate. Well that and the whole no electricity thing.
Visual Desktop Charger [yankodesign]
Nov 8 2007 Bed + Couch + Round = Scoop Bed?
Saba Italia's Scoop Bed is actually two couches during the day, but at night it gets its Transformer on and turns into a big round bed. You have to contact for a price, but let's be honest, nobody's getting one, so who cares. It'll be expensive, we'll leave it at that. While I'll never have one, I do want one. That way when lady friends spend the night I'll tell them they can have either the bed or the couch. Little do they know they're the same thing. We'll be sleeping together! I'm going to touch a knocker!
Sure you could do the same thing with any regular fold-out sofabed, but that lacks class. Probably wouldn't get to touch a yam for that.
Circular Sofabed [core77]
Nov 7 2007 Glass And Steel Whirlpool Tub Is Luxurious
The Whirlpool Glass Bathtub is a real treat. It's got sixteen jets, can accommodate two people, and is totally see-through. They run $3,199 and are worth every penny. I've had one since they first came out, and I'm 100% happy with the purchase. The only problem is my wife came into the bathroom one day during my bath-time. She asked if I was eating Cheetos in the tub. "Cheetos? Cheetos?!! Woman that's my penis, GET OUT OF HERE!"
Whirlpool Glass Bathtub, That's What I'm Talking About [uberreview]
Nov 7 2007 Candlelight Lamp: You'll Lose The Matchstick
The Hono Candlelight is a 10" tall lamp that lights up at the top when you touch it with the "magical matchstick". To turn it off you blow on it. Pretty clever. Except you're going to lose the matchstick. Then it magically transforms from a $64 novelty lamp into a $64 flat-ended dildo.
One more picture of a bunch of them after the jump.
Continue Reading " Candlelight Lamp: You'll Lose The Matchstick "
Nov 2 2007 All Glass Sinks Are Very Clear, See Through
The IKS vanity from Lasa Idea, an Italian bathroom-stuff manufacturer, is a single piece of molded glass. Which makes it a very clear sink indeed. They're available now if you have a ton of money to spend remodeling a vessel that's primarily used for washing your hands after holding your ding-a-ling. I almost ordered one, but then I realized guests would be able to see the porno stash I keep under the sink. I'm not ashamed or anything, it's just that some people aren't progressive enough to fully appreciate my "Sex With Electronics" fetish mags.
Contemporary vanity from Lasa Idea - the IKS vanity [trendir]
Oct 31 2007 Smash The Hell Out Of A $6,020 Chair
The Do Hit Chair is ridiculous. It's a 0.04" thick steel cube that costs $6,020. The idea is that you take a sledgehammer or anything else to it and beat it to shit, until you've got something in the shape that you want. If you screw it up you're f'ed. You'll probably end up with something that resembles a sharp metal shiv just itching to tear you a new a-hole. Because that's exactly what it'll be. I just can't believe this thing. The last time I spent $6,000 on furniture it was for my wife's new breasts, and those things are comfortable as hell. This thing just looks painful.
One more of a sweaty man after a job (horribly) well done after the jump.
Oct 29 2007 Topless Table Less Exciting Than I Hoped
When I think topless table, I think topless table dancers gyrating and whatnot and otherwise being all boobily up in my face. Well this table is the exact opposite.
It’s just a paradigm shift in what we normally think a table should look like - some legs supporting a flat surface. Design Diana Halbeisen wanted to experiment with different forms. She thought about what a dinner table is used for, how things are placed, etc. Her design is a series of metal rods with bent circles to hold various dinner and flatware.
Yeah, so this is the wackest table ever. As a matter of fact, I don't think you can call this a table. So from now on this will be known as a fable. But not one about mythical beasts and animals and shit like that with a moral at the end. No this fable has metal rods that can end up jammed in your ass if you bend over in its vicinity. Try telling that one to your kids before bed.
One more after the spill.
Continue Reading " Topless Table Less Exciting Than I Hoped "
Oct 22 2007 Birds On A Wire Lighting Is Not Bad Looking
Designers Javier Henriquez and Sebastian Lara from the Mexican studio Eos México came up with this beautiful bit of interior lighting called 'Birds On A Wire'. They call it that because it bears a striking resemblance to three birds resting on a wire. I forget how the saying goes, but I think it's something like "Birds on a wire make for attractive lighting, but birds caught shitting on my car will be killed and fed to the cats." I'm pretty sure that's a fairy tale or something.
Birds On A Wire - Beautiful Illumination [geekalerts]
Oct 12 2007 Now You Can 'Call Shotgun', Literally
Alexander Reh designed the 'Fully Loaded' chair awhile ago, but now has 30 available for purchase. You have to contact him for pricing information though (read: they're expensive). Each contains 450 .12 gauge shotgun shells, and are allegedly comfortable. If ammunition really close to your a-hole is your definition of comfort.
Two more pictures if you pull the trigger.
Oct 5 2007 Light Up Chair Is A Chair With Lights In It
The Bot-One Pod Cushion is a seating creation from Slide Italian Design. It's made of polyethylene, so you can rock it inside or outside, and it looks like a giant douche bag. It's got energy-efficient 25 watt bulbs in it, making it a reasonably well lit giant douche bag. I just don't know how I feel about my ass being lit up when I'm seated. Because the last time my ass lit up was when I was burning the hair off it with a lighter. My ass and balls went up in flames, followed by my pants, and finally the couch. Try explaining that one to the fire department. I just told them I passed out with the crack pipe, so I wouldn't look stupid.
Light Up Lounger - Bot-One Pod Cushion [trendhunter]
Sep 10 2007 Make Your Own Lightbulb Lamps
If you're tired of lamps made of things like metal and wood that are relatively safe and unbreakable, then check out the offerings from Bulbsunlimited. They offer kits ($18 to $100) that provide the hardware (socket and plastic snaps) and a bulb marking guide to make very dangerous and fragile lamps out of lightbulbs. Of course if you're cheap you could just glue a bunch of bulbs together randomly for a similar effect. And if you're clumsy you can sit on it and be picking shards of out of your ass for months.
product site [via techeblog]
