Jul 14 2009 Cats Manipulate People With Their Purrs

So apparently cats can exploit their caretakers to get what they want through the use of a special purr. I can't say I'm surprised, that's a picture of two of my old cats there (rest in peace, guys). One minute they were purring -- and the next I was teaching them how to read!

Researchers at the University of Sussex have discovered that cats use a "soliciting purr" to overpower their owners and garner attention and food.

Unlike regular purring, this sound incorporates a "cry", with a similar frequency to a human baby's.

The team said cats have "tapped into" a human bias - producing a sound that humans find very difficult to ignore.

I dunno, I'm not really that big into babies crying. But maybe that's just my fatherly instincts talking. Read: impregnate and run. What can I say -- I'm a nurturer.

Cats 'exploit' humans by purring [bbcnews]

Thanks to FDSY, Sharkey, RealLifeF***up and Ryan, who are all controlled by an entirely different kind of cat.

This post dedicated in loving memory of The Little Man, October, Jimmy and The Terrorist.

May 24 2009 Fun: Mind-Control Game Coming This Fall

Mattel's much anticipated Mindflex game is allegedly dropping this October for $100. For those of you who think like I do, that's 3 lapdances at a reasonable strip club, or almost 12 at the ones I go to.

It's not often that a Mattel toy targets the 18 - 128 demographic, but we'll be frank -- the Mindflex has us all sorts of intrigued. Originally introduced at this year's CES, said game is a brain-powered fun-fest that relies on intense mental activity to control the height of a ball suspended in a column of air.

It sounds similar to that Star Wars toy coming out, but way more involved. I want one. And not just because I've been honing by ball controlling mind skills for years but *concentrating* did you see that? Look again. Now the left one's lower!

Product Site
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Mattel's Mindflex coming October 1st for $99.99 [engadget]

Apr 1 2009 Great: Controlling Robots With Your Mind

The Honda Research Institute Japan, along with ATR and Shimadzu Corporation (all of whom can expect threatening letters from yours truly) has developed a system that makes it possible to control robots with your thoughts alone. Wow, this doesn't sound scary at all.

The technology uses electroencephalography (EEG) and near-infrared spectroscopy (NIRS) to allow a human to control a robot, in this case the Honda ASIMO, using mere thought. The technology offers up to 90 percent control accuracy without the use of physical implants, a huge milestone in human-to-robot interface that the research group hopes will yield new advances in robotics and artificial intelligence.

What could possibly go wrong? Besides everything. And by everything I mean the destruction of the entire human race. And also, this LEGO castle I'm building. But I put so much time into it!

Hit the jump for a video explaining the technology.

Continue Reading " Great: Controlling Robots With Your Mind "

Dec 24 2008 Scientists Say 'Sex Chips' Are Coming Soon

Sex chips. My God, what if they come in honey bbq flavor?

The chip works by sending tiny shocks from implanted electrodes in the brain.

Neurosurgery professor Tipu Aziz, said: "There is evidence that this chip will work. A few years ago a scientist implanted such a device into the brain of a woman with a low sex drive and turned her into a very sexually active woman. She didn't like the sudden change, so the wiring in her head was removed."

An electronic machine, named the Orgasmatron (pictured above), taken from the 1973 Woody Allen film Sleeper, is already under development by a North Carolina doctor, who is modifying a spinal cord stimulator to produce pleasure in women.

I mean, this is great and all, but for the ultimate in pleasure, I've got two words for you: me. Baby, I will take you places you've never been. Including, but not limited to: the emergency room, and Advance Auto. Ladies?

'Sex chip' being developed by scientists [telegraph]

Thanks to Pete, who, behind me (not literally), is the world's 2nd greatest lover. It's true, he even has the coffee mug to prove it.

Dec 12 2008 Invasion Of Privacy: Scientists Aim To Extract Images/Dreams Directly From Your Brain

A team of Japanese researchers believe they're well on the way to developing a technology capable of displaying whatever is on a person's mind. Including pictures, dreams, and, God willing, sex with dinosaurs.

While the team for now has managed to reproduce only simple images from the brain, they said the technology could eventually be used to figure out dreams and other secrets inside people's minds.

"It was the first time in the world that it was possible to visualize what people see directly from the brain activity," the private institute said in a statement.

"By applying this technology, it may become possible to record and replay subjective images that people perceive like dreams."

Say, this reminds me of one of my own favorite dreams: I exit my cave wearing only an animal pelt. I spot a triceratops -- it catches my gaze. I approach and begin tenderly rubbing its horns while making cooing sounds. The beast gores me. I lay in the mud, bleeding to death. With my last breath I reach out to touch its genitals and....it crushes my arm with a single stomp from one of its massive legs. i wake from the dream dripping sweat, and also, other stuff. Damn -- I should write romance novels!

Dreams may no longer be secret with Japan computer screen [yahoonews]

Thanks to austin, Derrick, Ain and Zombie Bob, who have the ability to make your dreams come true, but only if you buy their set of instructional video for three easy payments of $39.95.

Oct 14 2008 Army Wants Thought-Sending Helmet Made

A new army grant seeks to develop a helmet that can convey messages simply by thinking them.

Known as synthetic telepathy, the technology is based on reading electrical activity in the brain using an electroencephalograph, or EEG. Similar technology is being marketed as a way to control video games by thought.

"I think that this will eventually become just another way of communicating," said Mike D'Zmura, from the University of California, Irvine and the lead scientist on the project.

"It will take a lot of research, and a lot of time, but there are also a lot of commercial applications, not just military applications," he said.

Interesting, but I feel like there might be too much room for error.

*sending thought messages* Enemies at twelve o'clock. Let's flank them from the left. And 3,2....Jesus, Lieutenant Bridge's ass looks good in that camo. Shit. I'm not gay, I'm not gay!

Helmet to Convey Messages by Thought [discovery]

Thanks to Tracy, who read my mind: boobs. And also, pork chop sandwiches.

May 29 2008 Like I Really Needed Any More Proof: Foolish Scientists Teach Monkeys To Control Robots With Their Minds, AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

If there's one thing I hate in the world it's robots. And that hate is only trumped by cute little monkeys in laboratories controlling robots with their brains. F'ing a. So yeah, a bunch of scientists that deserve to have their diplomas and lab jackets revoked have taught some monkeys to feed themselves using robotic arms using only their brains. Because this is supposed to help us in one way or another.

The animals were able to feed themselves using prosthetic arms, which were controlled by brain activity.

Small probes, the width of a human hair, were inserted into the monkeys' primary motor cortex - the region of the brain that controls movement.

"The more we understand about the brain, the better we'll be able to treat a wide range of brain disorders, everything from Parkinson's disease and paralysis to, eventually, Alzheimer's disease and perhaps even mental illness."

I call shenanigans. These scientists don't give two flying monkey shits about curing disease. The sick bastards are building a primate-controlled robot army to kill us all. Now let's go smash up their lab and free those poor little monkeys. Who's with me? Come on, it'll be fun. We'll get drunk as shit on the ride back and make the monkeys drive.

Video of the poor little guy in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " Like I Really Needed Any More Proof: Foolish Scientists Teach Monkeys To Control Robots With Their Minds, AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! "

Feb 22 2008 I'm Thinking This Could Get Scary: Introducing The Mind-Controlled Gaming Headset

The Emotiv EPOC is a neuroheadset unveiled at the Game Developers conference in San Francisco. You can use it to map different thoughts to perform different actions in video games.

The device can detect conscious thoughts, areas of brain activity, facial expressions and even some emotions such as frustration, shock and anger, and will cost about $US300 ($326) when it is released in late 2008. The EPOC will ship with a range of games designed specifically for the headset, but gamers will also be able to use it with existing PC titles by mapping certain thoughts to keystroke patterns.

Well there you have it folks, machines are officially going to be ruling our brains soon. I'll briefly describe what is happening using a driving metaphor. So here we all are, cruising down Route We Control The Computers and headed towards Paradise City. When all of a sudden a robotic tractor trailer veers into our lane, causing us to jump the median, spin out of control and sideswipe a Volkswagen. When we come to we realize we're no longer on the road we once were. No sir, we're speeding along in the HOV lane of Interstate The Computers Have Taken Over Our Brains and approaching the We'ref***edville city limits at an alarming rate.

Emotiv
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Mind-controlled gaming headset unveiled [news]

A big thanks to Marcus, who is freaking awesome, for the tip