Nov 2 2009 Mmmm, That's Milky: 648 Megapixel Milky Way

This is a 648 megapixel composite (higher-res version HERE) of the Milky Way created by physicist (and all around badass) Axel Mellinger. Good lookin', Axel.

Physicist Axel Mellinger spent nearly two years traveling 26,000 miles across South Africa, Texas and Michigan. What does he have to show for it? Well, he's cobbled together a stunning 648 megapixel panorama of the Milky Way as seen from Earth, using 3,000 individual photographs. The Central Michigan University professor wants to make the image available for planetariums, as it's large enough to serve educational purposes. It even shows stars that are 1,000 times too faint to be seen by the human eye, so this is a Milky Way like you've never seen.

That IS a Milky Way like I've never seen. Get it? BECAUSE THERE'S NO CHOCOLATE OR NOUGAT LIKE THE CANDY BAR! Yep *cracking knuckles* I can already tell today's gonna be a good day.

Photo: stunning 648 megapixel image of the Milky Way [dvice]

Thanks to Closet Nerd, who sends enough tips to be out already.

Apr 30 2009 Highly Questionable, Volatile: Robot Milk

I have no idea what the hell robot milk is (likely poison), but it looks thicker than the BBW in my fetish mag. Also, how the hell does one go about procuring robot milk? Because if it's anything like milking a bull, the The Superficial Writer wants in.

Robot Milk [friggingrandom]

Thanks to Bo, who once milked a goat and then made goat cheese and sold it at a farmer's market. Good looking, Bo.

Mar 5 2009 It'll Get You Drunk!: The McNuggitini *HORF*

The McNuggitini is a cocktail inspired by the deliciousness that is a McDonald's (all clay) milkshake and Chicken McNuggets (which do constitute an emergency).

Ingredients:

2 McNuggz (plus more for snacking)
1 tub McDonalds Brand Barbeque Sauce (plus more for licking off pinky finger)
1 lg. Mcdonalds Brand Chocolate Milkshake (plus more for bringing all the boys to the yard)
1 bottle Vanilla Vodka (recommended brand: Absolut)

Open the McDonalds bag. Eat one McNugg each, followed by two bites of the Filet-o-Fish (make sure you don't tell anyone that you eat Filet-o-Fishes).

Rim each martini glass with McDonalds Brand Barbeque Sauce, and pour milkshake/vodka mixture into the glass. Garnish with a McNugg (which is to be swiped along barbeque sauce rimmed glass after the milkshake has been finished, and consumed with pure, unadulterated glee).

My goodness that sounds....puke in my mouth-y. I do like vodka though. But I only take it ultra-neat. I'm talking straight to the vein, folks -- mainlining! ALL ABOARD THE PASS-OUT EXPRESS, NEXT STOP: BATHROOM FLOOR. CHOO CHOO!

Hit the link if you want to see a pictorial of the McNuggitini experience featuring Alie and Georgia.

In Which Georgia Gives You The McNuggetini [thisrecording]

Thanks to Tank and Bronson, who, not to be outdone, invented the Fillet O' Fishtini.

Oct 13 2008 $43 Japanese Stress-Relieving Milk

Stressed? Love milk? How about a $43 bottle of stress-relieving milk straight from the Lon-Lon Ranch?

Tokyo-based Nakazawa Foods will launch the "Adult Milk" line of products in October targetting "adults who live in a stressful society," the company said in a statement. The milk is taken from cows once a week at the break of dawn, as they discharge a lot of a stress-relieving hormone called melatonin during the night, the company said. It is said to contain three to four times as much melatonin as usual milk.

Mmm, stress-relieving milk. But $43? No way. So here's what you do: go to a strip club, a really seedy one. Oh, and one that stays open till 5am (when melatonin production is at its peak). Then pay one of strippers that just gave birth $2 for a taste. And, if it's legit, offer her a five-spot to fill up an empty beer bottle.

Japanese can now buy stress-relief milk -- for 43 dollars per bottle [akihabaranews]

Thanks to Karina, who agrees you should be allowed to suck straight from the teat for $1.

Jun 23 2008 Custom Aqua Teen Hunger Air Force Ones

I die a little inside every day that I don't post some custom painted shoes, so rest assured that if you don't like them, at least you're not suffering as much as I am. Oh, and you see what I did with the title there? I combined Aqua Teen Hunger Force with Air Force One, a popular Nike shoe. Sure this isn't a Nike, but Aqua Teen British Knights Force sounds stupid. Wait, no it doesn't. Anyway, this is a custom painted Aqua Teen Hunger Force shoe made for someone's birthday.

Artist's Comments:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force from Adult Swim.
The left shoe for Mallery's birthday shoes.

(Kept laces off for better pictures.)

Haha, Mallery -- you only got one shoe for your birthday. Sucks to be you. Just like it sucked being me when I needed glasses and my dad only got me a monocle and an eyepatch.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force shoe [deviantart]

Thanks Karla, I had almost forgotten I looked like a piratey Mr. Peanut growing up

Apr 9 2008 Questionable: Cheese From Women's Milk

Well ever since yesterday when the ick-factor was ramped up with (fake) baby chocolates and disgusting health drinks, the grody tips have been pouring in and making me even sicker. This is one of the lesser ones -- women's breast milk cheese from France. Allegedly Le Petit Singly is a farm that specializes in the stuff.

Le Petit Singly is a farm that specializes in making cheese from women's breast milk. Are you imagining the milking process? Admittedly, that imagery makes me come to the conclusion that it's an absolutely bizarre and crazy world of cheesemaking in little ole Singly, France. But, no. I think the "donors" bring their milk to the farm, or something like that.

The cheese is produced exactly like it would be for cow's milk and apparently tastes like it has hints of hazelnut. I still have my doubts about its existence, though. The farm says the cheese is rich in vitamins and nutrients but I don't think these survive after being ultra-pasteurized. Also, they have an "AB" label, which is the official label for organic products. Does that mean that the women all grazed on organic?

Hoax potential aside, I'd eat the hell out of some breast milk cheese. I bet it's delicious, and I love hints of hazelnut. It's like when my wife was pregnant with our daughter and I tried to get a little suckle on the proverbial teat. I barely got a taste before she kicked me in the privates and told me I was "stealing from the baby". I told her that that was bull, the baby was stealing from me. And she continues to -- 1 down, 17 to go.

Human Breast Milk Cheese Made In France [whytraveltofrance]
(apparently for the breast milk cheese)

Thanks to Richard, whose curiosity got the best of him, for the tip

Aug 8 2007 Hiccup Curing Device

So someone has developed a hiccup cure that looks a lot like a milkshake. Call me old fashioned, but the "OH MY GOD THERE'S A SHARK IN THE BOAT!" scare tactic has never done me wrong. And if that doesn't work I'll typically let weight lifters punch me in the stomach until I laugh so hard they go away. You know, now that I think about it- I invented something similar to this last year that looked a lot like a blender (well, it was a blender). And let me tell you- not only did it cure your hiccups, it cured your whole face.

Hiccup Curing Device [Patently Silly]