Oct 27 2009 How To: Never Lose Your Remote Again

If you can manage to lose this remote you're doing something seriously wrong. Or drinking a lot, in which case you're actually doing something seriously right. What a dichotomy!

Dad's Lost The Remote For The Last Time [thereifixedit]
via
Never lose your remote control again with this simple, cheap DIY solution [crunchgear]

Thanks to jules and DaveS, who only use the controls on the television because they lost their remotes. Should have had them grafted to you like I suggested!

Oct 21 2009 Anvil Launching: The World's Manliest Sport

Anvil launching is probably the world's manliest sport in front of great white hunting with a soggy pencil. I just happen to excel at both. And this is Gay Wilkinson, the self proclaimed anvil launching world champion about to send one skyward. Hit the jump for a video of the anvil in action (skip to 1:20 for the actual launch), then get out there and shoot your own dangerously heavy objects in the air. Just remember: what goes up is probably going to come down on a bystander. Happy launching!

Hit it for the video.

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Oct 20 2009 I'd Wear Them: Nikes Made Out Of Junk

Gabriel Dishaw is an artist who works primarily in the medium of junk. Like rusty metal sprockets and nuts and bolts. And among other sculptures, he creates shoes with these things.

This piece was a continuation of my previous piece JUNK DUNK (Right) I wanted to attempt this approach again, with a more refined and detailed outcome. I used very little wire and more glue to keep the piece more clean, and less bulky. I also added new details, a hinged tongue and nike logo's on both the tongue and back of the shoe. On previous models I used a real nike sole to build of off. With this piece I started from scratch and build the sole from circuit boards.

Impressive, Gabriel. But there is no doubt in my mind I could dunk in these things. And I don't care if they do cut off all my toes off and give me tetanus -- I don't like standing or talking anyways! I'm more of a lie down and type kind of guy anyways. What? YES I'M STILL IN BED.

Hit the jump for a bunch more shots plus three other Nike models Gabriel has created.

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Oct 18 2009 Beautiful Tragedy: Burning City Firescreens

This is a firescreen that makes it appear as though London is burning in your fireplace. There's one of Rome too, after the jump. BURN!!

It's been a long time since fire ravaged London and Rome in 1666 and 64 AD respectively--which must be why we can feel okay about making cool firescreens based on these tragic incidents today.

Very clever. Of course, I want a custom one with a bunch of mangled robot corpses in the back and me riding a dino in the foreground. Just like how it happens in the future. Don't believe me? Then where did this passage come from:

And on the seventh day, while God was resting, man foolishly invented robots. Man, being the idiot moron that he is, said, "be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it", and they did. Then God woke up and saw the metallic shitstorm down below and sent the Geekologie Writer to whip their robotic monkey asses atop his wicked dino-mount. Plus laserbeams.

This is the word of the Geekologie Writer. Amen Pew pew.

Hit the jump for Rome burning.

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Oct 15 2009 Brass, Glass And Ass: A Steampunk Toilet

This is a picture of a highly questionable steampunk toilet. This is just the tank here, you have to actually watch the video after the jump to see the brass (painted) seat and shit (but not literally, the bowl's clean). Still, a cup holder, that's smart. Who knew those Victorians were such forward thinkers? BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T. I'm pretty confident they pissed in clay jugs or, worse, right out the window. Which, OMG, I'm relieving myself oldschool style! Haha -- sorry Mrs. Harding, but you should watch where you're walking!! Cute dog.

Hit the jump for a the video of the brass throne in action.

Continue Reading " Brass, Glass And Ass: A Steampunk Toilet "

Oct 14 2009 Now That's Fine Art: A Coat Hanger Gorilla

Apparently this is old but I don't care because it's the first time I've seen it and if you've seen it before then maybe YOU should have sent it to me earlier. That's right, YOU'RE the one to blame here. Jerk. Anyway, this behemoth was created entirely out of bent coat hangers by Scottish artist David Mach. And I think we can all agree, it speaks volumes. About how, you know, gorillas like to hang from stuff. Get it? Because of the hangers!! God, I slay me.

Coat Hanger Gorilla [reubenmiller]

Thanks to naas, who once Donkey Kong'ed two chicks at once and even though I don't know what that means I'm going to play along like I do. Sweeeet.

Oct 9 2009 That's No Playground, That's A Dieground!

Apparently Giganta was a piece of robotic playground equipment available in the late 70's for really sadistic playground designers. I'm just thankful the Baptist preschool I went to didn't have one or I may have not made it past five. Seriously, who the hell would want to play inside the cage-like belly of a two-ton robot? You've got to hand it to the manufacturer though -- I love how they awarded themselves a fake prize for the product to make it look better. "Miracle Medalist", that's great. What's the real miracle is that Giganta here didn't send kids running into oncoming traffic.

Playgrounds From the 70s [make]

Thanks to BiSScuiTT, who grew up playing with bears in the woods like a normal kid.

Sep 30 2009 Slings Let The World Know How You Did It

This is a series of slings that lets the rest of the world know how you went and broke your arm. And as a guy who's broken his thumb once and arm twice, I've got to admit: it's never stopped me from still doing dumb shit all the time. High-five for never learning lessons! But seriously, now I've got a wonk-arm now with a giant metal plate and screws in it that sends shockwaves up my arm whenever I try to do push-ups. Which is EXACTLY why I don't work out. AND HELL YES I SET OFF AIRPORT METAL DETECTORS! Just like Luke Skywalker -- except I'VE never tried slipping my sister the tongue. Step-sisters don't count!

Illustrative Slings Show How That Arm Got Boned [gizmodo]

Thanks to Romeo, whose magnetic personality alone is enough to set off an airport metal detector.

Sep 21 2009 Not For Airline Travel: Ninja Kunai USB Drive

A dangerously metal USB drive shaped like a ninja knife, it just makes sense. The 2GB Ninja Kunai drives cost $125 and are in no way, shape or form safe for airplane travel. Or train. Now that I think about it, I wouldn't even drive anywhere with one. Because I used to keep a little pen knife on my keychain and now I push the gas with a peg. Which brings me to an important point: Pirate for hire. Now I know what you're thinking, and yes, I do bachelor parties.

Ninja Kunai USB Drive: the tech equivalent of getting a foreign language tattoo [engadget]

Thanks to Harrison, who once stabbed a foe with a traditional USB drive and lost all his data.

Sep 9 2009 Steel Velcro: Because Plastic Is For Sissies

This new steel velcro can support up to 35 tons of pressure and looks ultra-badass. So badass I want a belt made out of it. Yeah, and a headband. Wait, is this stainless steel? Cause I can't have no rust juice dripping in my eyes!

Developed by German engineers, this new version of Velcro is dubbed Metaklett, and it can support 35 tons at temperatures up to 1472 degrees. It's made from "perforated steel strips 0.2 millimetres thick, one kind bristling with springy steel brushes and the other sporting jagged spikes."

I have no idea what sort of industrial uses they have planned for this shit, but that's not important. What IS important is this: Velco is actually a name brand. The generic term for this type of closure is 'hook-and-loop fastener'. If you already knew that, congratulations. If not, I hope I just wasted some space behind your face! I'm talking about in your brain.

Thank you for being a friend

Travel down the road and back again
your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant
And if you threw a party,
Invited everyone you knew,
You would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say,
Thank you for being a friend.

Haha, I'm just messing with you now.

Steel velcro can support up to 35 tons [dvice]

Sep 2 2009 CONTEST: Win Free Buckyball Magnets!

That's right folks, you wanna win your very own set of Buckyball rare earth magnets? Well you're in luck, cause I've got 5 free sets to give away!

Each set contains 216 powerful rare earth magnets that can be shaped, molded, torn apart and snapped together in UNLIMITED WAYS. Make sculptures, puzzles, patterns, shapes, stick stuff to the fridge, invent a new game--trying to find something more useful is useless.

The magnets regularly sell for $30 plus $6 shipping (buy two get free shipping), but the first 40 people to order and use promo code "geek" will get 20% off.

As for winning a free set, I'm holding a haiku contest. If you don't know what a haiku is go HERE (no seasonal reference necessary). To read Anticlown's contest policy go HERE. Then, enter your best Geekologie themed haiku IN THE COMMENTS. I will be choosing one grand prize winner to win two (2) sets, and 3 runners up to each receive one (1) set. I will be judging based entirely on my own sense of theology and geometry.

ONE POEM PER EMAIL ADDRESS. I WILL CHECK TO SEE IF YOU'VE ENTERED MORE THAN ONCE IF YOU WIN. So go open a million different Gmail accounts. Contest ends 5 PM Eastern, Sunday, September 6th and winners will be announced that night. I have provided the haiku below to get you all started.

There you have it, now GO GO GO!

UPDATE: CHECK YOUR POEMS, 5-7-5 SYLLABLES FOLKS, NOT WORDS. Not following proper format will result in disqualification and me whipping your ass.

UPDATE UPDATE: STOP SENDING THE HAIKU AS TIPS ENTER THEM IN THE COMMENTS I WILL KILL YOU ALL.

Buckyballs Product Page

Aug 28 2009 I'd Sleep Under That: Mega Man 2 Chain Mail

From the same maker as last week's chain mail chess set comes this awesome Mega Man 2 chain mail blanket/wall hanging. I know this little picture doesn't do it justice so click HERE to see a higher res version. Then, click HERE to discover life's greatest secrets. Oh, sorry, hyperlink must be broken (tricked you!).

After one and a half years, the Megaman II Project is finally finished. The dimensions are 38" x 45", as it hangs on the wall, and its total weight is over 16 pounds.

Ring Count: 63,608

Can you imagine crimping 63,000 little rings together? Because I can't. And not just because I'd probably swallow a half dozen for every ten I got together, but I would. I LIKE TO PUT THINGS IN MY MOUTH, OKAY? Just saying, good thing I can type without looking. Those consonants -- delicioso!

Project Page [chainmailbasket]

Thanks to NES--still-the-best, who won't even talk to you about playing Genesis.

Aug 27 2009 Sure He's Happy?: Enterprise Dog Costume

This is a custom canine USS Enterprise costume made out of cardboard and Bud Light cans. And I have to admit, Bud Light was a smart choice because of its superior drinkability. I'm serious, those things are so drinkable one time I guzzled a whole cooler full of them. There must have been at least 20. This was like an hour ago. Then I started cutting up this box and....holy shit that's my dog!

This dog goes where no dog has gone before [scifiwire]

Thanks to FDSY who made a Millennium Falcon costume for his cat but the cat ran away.

Aug 21 2009 Safety First: A Chain Mail Chess Set

This is a chess set made out of chain mail. It is impervious to arrows and sword attacks. Which is good because a lot of times I like to threaten my opponents with weapons while we're playing. You know, to keep them on their toes (beat me and you're dead). You ever been maced in the face before? I'm talking about the spikey ball not the spray. That shit hurts like a mother. But not half as bad as getting trebuchet'ed in the taint. AND I CAN MAKE THAT DREAM A REALITY. Checkmate.

Hit the jump for a bunch more shots.

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Aug 11 2009 Questionable: The Personal Rockin' Computer

The PRC chair allegedly stands for Personal Rockin' Computer. But how on earth you would ever use a computer in that thing is beyond me. I mean, I couldn't even comfortably fry my nuts with a laptop in it. Plus, it costs a staggering $4,200. Can you say, "tractor tire"? Because I can. No, I'm fairly confident this thing is a glorified sex swing for the rich. Seriously, just look at that provocative tart in the picture. She definitely only knows one kind of hard drive and RAM if you ask me. Gosh what a hussy (let me get those digits, girl).

The PRC is your Personal Rockin' Chair [dvice]

Jul 10 2009 Blew Out My Flip Flop, Stepped On A Pop Top, Decided To Make A Dragon

This is a dragon made entirely out of pop-tops. NOT POP-TARTS. Soda can pull tabs or whatever you want to call them. Pretty impressive, no? It think it would look great in the curio cabinet next to my novelty shot glass and improvised bong collections.

Banzaaaai!! Another little crazy stuff! I finally finished this dragon sculpture. It took me forever. I used pop tabs all the way from the tip of nose to the tip of tail except for whisker. I wanted to count it but again it'll take me forever to count lol. I glued them together with ordinary epoxy or cold-weld compound type of epoxy. this guy's about 14 inches long and 8 inches tall. By the way i want this to be called 神魂龍　(shinkonryuu) which inhabits the spirit of a person, where they obtain the necessary energy to live. When a person dies they move to a new spirit.

Now I hate to get all metaphysical on you, but is there any way to re-up on shinkonryuu life energy? I'm feeling pretty drained and the tiger penis tea did not work. HELP, NEED MORE DRAGON JUICE PRONTO.

Hit the jump for a collage and a link to the high-res version.

Continue Reading " Blew Out My Flip Flop, Stepped On A Pop Top, Decided To Make A Dragon "

Jul 7 2009 Michael Jackson To Be Buried In Gold Casket

Michael Jackson, donning his last piece of flair (possibly a Bedazzled glove), will be buried in a 14-karat gold coffin only befitting of a king (of pop. Alternatively, Neverland).

The $25,000 container from Batesville Casket Company ("because every family deserves a Batesville") is made of solid bronze, plated with 14-karat gold, and polished to a mirror finish. It's the same model in which James Brown was buried. No question about it, it'll be the fanciest coffin in the graveyard.

You know, when I go I want to be buried in my rocketship. And by buried I mean launched into the sun. And by "when I go" I mean I'm pushing the button now. I'M OUT BITCHES, PEACE!

Michael Jackson to be buried in 14-karat gold coffin [dvice]

Jun 23 2009 Stay Away!: The Robotic Needle Of Death

We've already seen one robotic death needle, so what's another? EVERYTHING, THAT'S WHAT. I am honestly *this close* to drinking the Kool-Aid. But allegedly, this robot was designed to do good. Pfft, I've heard one that before. I'm looking at you, Elmo. You tried to touch me while I was sleeping.

Bioengineers at Duke University have developed a laboratory robot that can successfully locate tiny pieces of metal within flesh and guide a needle to its exact location -- all without the need for human assistance.

I stopped reading there because my pants were getting full, but just look at that needle. You really want a robot operating on you with that thing without human intervention? Fine, but it's gonna be your second butthole, not mine.

Robot surgeon uses frighteningly large needle to remove shrapnel, your resistance [engadget]

Thanks to STOMPY, who already has three.

Jun 22 2009 Lookin' Sharp: Klingon Inspired Baby Products

Want your child to grow up a powerful warrior with a mountain range for a head? Then you're in luck, thanks to this traditional Klingon blade inspired crib! You just place your little tyke in there, occasionally throw a lion in the room for him/her to battle, and six years later, PRESTO, you're arrested for child neglect. Also, you have a pack of hungry lions living in your nursery.

Hit the jump to see a rocking horse and baby rattle of the same style.

Continue Reading " Lookin' Sharp: Klingon Inspired Baby Products "

Jun 5 2009 I Want: These Custom Metal Gear Solid Shoes

These custom painted Metal Gear Solid shoes were made by UCLA student and artist Jacob Patterson (no relation to Robert Pattinson) and shown off at the E3 convention. I want like four for each foot. You know, because I have big feet. ;) Ladies, that wink was for you.

He is apparently going to talk with Kojima and team to discuss the possibility of mass-producing these shoes via the Puma brand. So if things go well expect to be able to buy these at a store near you sometime in the future!

Well I usually only wear flip flips and aqua socks, but I'd make an exception for these bad boys. And speaking of bad boys -- I've been one lately. Now which one of you lovely ladies wants to ride on my motorcycle. And by motorcycle I mean lawn mower. And by 'ride on' I mean cut the backyard. Any takers? Come on -- I'll make lemonade!

Hit the jump for two closeups.

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