Nov 2 2009 Whittlin': Guns Carved Into Old School Desks

Ben Turnbull is a London-based artist that hates America (USA! USA! USA!) and whittles guns into old wooden school desks. I smell a detention slip!

Ben Turnbull is fascinated by the global dominance of American culture, and his works unsettling effects result from re-presenting the toys of our innocent youth in symbolic forms that reveal the shocking truths about war, death and guns in the world's most powerful country. Turnbull is a passionate critic of the contemporary American political system, and explains why toys are central to his work: 'Force fed on violence, abused by a controlling superpower and blackmailed through patriotism, the public are ultimately as disposable as the toys they once played with'.

Damn Ben, why don't you tell us how you really feel? Over a spot of tea with your queen while I whip your crumpet-munching ass! Jingoism FTW! I'm serious, meet me behind the pub.

Hit the jump for five more.

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Oct 20 2009 Skateboard + Keyboard = Skatekeyboard?

Artist Tobias Leingruber (another nevernude) had a dream. Unfortunately he couldn't remember it when he woke up so he glued a keyboard to a skateboard. The end.

I am not really sure if one can actually balance on this and I am not aware if this piece of artwork has hidden ports to which you can connect to the PC. Either way, it seems like a keyboard that you can't use, and a skateboard that you can't ride on. However, it certainly underlines the importance of fun and frolic in an otherwise dreary lifestyle that we have come to live.

I don't care what they say, I would totally ride this thing. And you know what? I would kick flip its caps lock off. *wicka-pow* THERE I THINK I GOT IT!

THANKS TO JEREMY, WHO LIKES YELLING BECAUSE IT REMINDS HIM OF HIS CHILDHOOD. ME TOO, JEREMY.

SKATEBOARD COMPUTER KEYBOARD BRINGS OUT THE SKATER IN GEEKS [WALYOU]

Oct 14 2009 More Spork Art: This Time A Human Carcass!

After yesterday's Plasticdragon, loyal Geekologie Reader Ashley wrote to inform me that he and his art group recently created a similar figure. Except, instead of a dragon, it's a dead-ass body!

This is a piece we did at Uni early this year and I just saw your feature article on the plastic dragon. The skeleton has been getting some nice features so thought you might be interested! :) It was a comment on the ironic contrast between our disposable fast-food culture and the problem of world famine. This received a D&AD Commendation at the '09 Awards.

Well done, Ashley. I'd like to take this time to point out that I, for one, am 100% against world famine. Now I know that I usually try to avoid getting political, but I firmly believe that all people should eat food. Except the fatties. They should exercise.

Hit the jump for three closeups.

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Aug 25 2009 How Not To Private Message On Facebook

This is 41-year old idiot moron Tracy T-something trying to send lover Michael a Facebook message expressing how much she loved him recently railing her but instead posting the note ON HER OWN WALL (admit it, we've been there). Wow, Tracy, what are you doing with this Michael character anyway if you're engaged? And what the hell is a permanent invitation to "the-love-cave-between-my-legs?" Don't get me wrong, I love camping with bears as much as the next guy, BUT I'M NOT MOVING INTO THE CAVE. I would, however, start a fire in there and grill some mammoth.

Picture [buzzfeed]

Thanks to Lee and Lisa, who understand the internet is magic but can still send a message where they mean to.

Aug 11 2009 I Like: Sticky Notes In Wooden Block Form

This is a block of sticky notes that was designed to look like a chunk of wood. And, as I'm sure you all know, wood is good. But metal -- metal is bettel. I AM THE RHYME MASTER! Although, truthfully, metal is not bettel. Because that's the stuff they make modern robots out of. And by the associative property of mathematics (I'm excellent with numbers), that makes the material inherently cold and evil. Ever seen a wooden robot? HELL NO, I BURNT THEM ALL. High-five! Now, help me drag this BEEP BOOP BOPPER to the fire pit.

The Woodblock: Post-It Notes As Nature Intended [gizmodo]

May 23 2009 Uh-Oh: Parents Catching On To Text Talk

Can you believe it? Parents are actually breaking the code of "secret" text speak that teenagers use to talk dirty to one another and make plans to *gasp* smoke the marijuana.

Ever wondered what the secret codes that teenagers are bashing out on mobile phones and computers mean?

Well, wonder no more.

A list of the top 50 acronyms that every parent should know has been compiled and posted onto the internet, MyFox Atlanta reports.

According to the list, a "Code 9" or "CD9" means that parents are nearby.

The words "I love you" can often be difficult for people to say, but the latest way around is by simplifying the phrase to "143".

143 -- really? I'm pretty sure people have has been using that since before Shakespeare. I mean, I used to use that shit in grade school when we only had pagers. Damn yeah I sold drugs!

Hit the jump for the top 50 "must know" phrases.

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Apr 27 2009 BA-BOOM: This Vase Is The Bomb, Son!

Can you believe that's actually the title I used? Me neither. Maybe I'll come back and change it later (read: I won't). So, A Peaceful Bomb Vase is a flower depository designed by Owen & Cloud to look like a bomb. It's supposed to serve as a statement about how not cool war is (despite what video games may have taught you).

Taiwanese design duo Owen and Cloud designed this piece as a statement against war, and the result is a one of a kind, striking piece.

I hate to break it to you, but that's not one of a kind -- I count like thirty of them. Still, I like. And they do carry a powerful message. One about how beautiful bombs can be. No? Make floral arrangements, not war? Okay, so maybe I don't get it. Fun fact: you could almost write a novella about the things I don't know. Almost.

A Peaceful Bomb Vase [likecool]

Thanks to Spikey DaPikey, who once dropped a bomb so powerful they had to close the bathroom for two whole days.

Apr 8 2009 Best Mouse Ever: The LED Message Mouse

The $21 LED message mouse has an LED laden fan in it that spins around and displays whatever barely decipherable message you want, while at the same time keeping your hand sweat-free during a particularly intense "gaming" (read: fapping) session. Granted, you won't be able to actually see your message while the device is in use, but that's a small price to pay for the awesome you know is just on the other side of your hand. Obviously, I'm talking about your hairy palm. Seriously bro, give it a rest.

Hit the jump for another shot and a video of the rodent in action.

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Mar 23 2009 At Least He Was Honest: Internet Scam Fail

I can't even count the number of times I've been contacted by Nigerian princes to help move their money out of the country. Unfortunately, I don't keep a bank account because that's just another way the man tries to keep tabs on my brothel me on a short leash. Anyway, I like how the scammer comes out of character at the end with a "thanks man". That was great. Not as great as my love for you, but I have a big heart. And hands. Hey, did you know if your hand is bigger than your face you'll die young? It's true -- you should try it. *SMACK-A-POW* Wow, I can't believe you fell for that. Ha, or when I told you I loved you.

Thanks to Joemo, who once conned an old lady out of her retirement by having sex with her. Gross, Joemo.

Mar 5 2009 Docking: What The Hell Did I Just Watch?

I really have no idea what I just watched but it reminded me of Monty Python's Flying Circus. Also, I think it carried a powerful message. One about doing it. In space.

Docking [vimeo]

Thanks to C, who has actually done it in space and always tells me the story and it makes me so jealous.

Oct 14 2008 Army Wants Thought-Sending Helmet Made

A new army grant seeks to develop a helmet that can convey messages simply by thinking them.

Known as synthetic telepathy, the technology is based on reading electrical activity in the brain using an electroencephalograph, or EEG. Similar technology is being marketed as a way to control video games by thought.

"I think that this will eventually become just another way of communicating," said Mike D'Zmura, from the University of California, Irvine and the lead scientist on the project.

"It will take a lot of research, and a lot of time, but there are also a lot of commercial applications, not just military applications," he said.

Interesting, but I feel like there might be too much room for error.

*sending thought messages* Enemies at twelve o'clock. Let's flank them from the left. And 3,2....Jesus, Lieutenant Bridge's ass looks good in that camo. Shit. I'm not gay, I'm not gay!

Helmet to Convey Messages by Thought [discovery]

Thanks to Tracy, who read my mind: boobs. And also, pork chop sandwiches.

Oct 14 2008 Elephants Text Message Rangers To Warn Villages Of Their Impending Doom

Several elephants (including a male named Kimani) in Kenya's Ol Pejeta conservancy have special collars that send text messages to park rangers should they start to venture too close to a village.

The huge bull elephant had a long history of raiding villagers' crops during the harvest, sometimes wiping out six months of income at a time. But this time a mobile phone card inserted in his collar sent rangers a text message. Lesowapir, an armed guard and a driver arrived in a jeep bristling with spotlights to frighten Kimani back into the Ol Pejeta conservancy.

Not a bad idea. The texting comes as a result of having to kill several other elephants as a result of their crop-destroying behaviors. Kimani is the last of a group of six regular raiders, and has already been deterred 15 times by his texting. Now if I could just rig up something similar for my girlfriends when they venture too close to the house unexpected....

UPDATE: F*** it, I'm going with shock collars.

Kenya's elephants send text messages to rangers [yahoonews]

Thanks to Romeo and Jason, who have both put on shock collars and taken turns running across an invisible fence.

Oct 8 2008 Prevent Drunk Emailing: Google Mail Goggles

Google recently unveiled a Gmail application that may help prevent drunk emailing. When in use, the program requires a potential emailer to solve a few mathematical problems before the message can be sent. Pretty clever, now make something similar for cell phones and we'll be set. Or you can just subscribe to The Geekologie Writer's method of drunk messaging prevention -- dropping your phone in the pisser when you're trying to text. I touched a urinal cake with my finger!

Google's Mail Goggles Prevents Drunk Emailing [wired]

Thanks to The Superficial Writer and DJ LIBOR, who both probably regret sending this tip.

Sep 22 2008 Text Messaging Lowers Your IQ 10 Points

In a recent New York Times article, technology trend forecaster Aul Saffo claims that texting actually makes a person dumber.

The act of texting automatically removes 10 I.Q. points. "The truth of the matter is there are hobbies that are incompatible. You don't want to do mushroom-hunting and bird-watching at the same time, and it is the same with texting and other activities. We have all seen people walk into parking meters or walk into traffic and seem startled by oncoming cars."

whatev, dats a fkng li.

Text messaging lowers your IQ by 10 points [textually]

Thanks to Silver Sided, who swears texting-sex is the wave of the future.

Sep 15 2008 Uh-Oh: Large Hadron Collider Hacked, Countdown To Destruction Initiated !!

Last week a group of hackers busted all up in the Large Hadron Collider's network and did stuff. Okay, so they didn't really do anything. That we know about.

Calling themselves the Greek Security Team, the interlopers mocked the IT used on the project, describing the technicians responsible for security as "a bunch of schoolkids."

However, despite an ominous warning "don't mess with us," the hackers said they had no intention of disrupting the work of the atom smasher.

"We're pulling your pants down because we don't want to see you running around naked looking to hide yourselves when the panic comes," they wrote in Greek in a rambling note posted on the LHC's network.

Of course they're not going to disrupt the atom smashing. They have to make sure the LHC is fully functional before they bust back in. Then they'll use the system's time machining capabilities to travel back in time and fulfill man's quest to have sex with dinosaurs. Lizard people yo, lizard people.

Hit the jump for a video explaining the experiments conducted using the LHC.

Continue Reading " Uh-Oh: Large Hadron Collider Hacked, Countdown To Destruction Initiated !! "

May 15 2008 Alien "Email" Could Arrive As Early As 2015, The Pope Is Totally Cool With That, You Know, As Long As It Doesn't Really Happen

Hisashi Hirabayashi and a colleague used a radio telescope in 1983 to send a message to Altair, a star approximately 16 light-years away.

The message, which is believed to have reached Altair in 1999, consisted of 13 binary-encoded images (71 x 71 pixels each) that showed, among other things, the characteristics of our solar system, the location of our planet, the known chemical elements, whole numbers, human characteristics, and the basic structure of DNA. Their message also attempted to explain biological evolution with a depiction of mammals evolving from primeval life forms (see the image above of the fish crawling onto land).

That one picture looks like a midget kicking a naked woman in the shins, but whatever. Now provided the aliens (if there are any) were intelligent enough to receive and decode the message, they could have a message back to us as early as 2015. Hot damn, I can hardly wait!

Strangely, one of the pictures sent to Altair includes the molecular formula for ethanol along with the kanji characters for kanpai (the Japanese toast of "cheers!") and the English word "TOAST." "I came up with that idea while drinking," Hirabayashi playfully admits. "The aliens probably won't understand that part."

Oh, they'll understand Hirabayashi, they'll understand. Alcohol is the universal language that that makes communication with the opposite sex possible. The googly-eyed bastards will definitely get that. What I'm worried about is them understanding the rest of it.

And in a related story the Vatican has announced that it is perfectly Christian to believe in aliens, despite their not being in the Bible.

The Bible "is not a science book," Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes (Jesuit director of the Vatican Observatory) said, adding that he believes the Big Bang theory is the most "reasonable" explanation for the creation of the universe. The theory says the universe began billions of years ago in the explosion of a single, super-dense point that contained all matter.

And when asked why aliens didn't make an appearance in the Bible, Funes noted, "It's not a damn sci-fi novel."

Alien e-mail reply to arrive in 2015? [pinktentacle]
and
Vatican: It's OK to believe in aliens [yahoonews]

Thanks to Melissa, who may be the only person who really knows what's out there

Oct 8 2007 A High Tech Cross For Jesus Lovers

The WL777PB Blue LED Cross is a very high tech cross indeed. I mean, it has blue LEDs. Talk about futuristic. Not only that, it comes with fake diamonds and can be programmed to scroll whatever you want. They cost about $38, and are available from a Korean site that I couldn't read. I think I might get one. After all, nothing says "the devil is a punk bitch" better than a blue LED cross.

Blue LED Cross - religion needs a new message? [redferret]

Sep 7 2007 Note Toaster Burns Your Bread

The Note Toaster, designed by Sasha Tseng, is a toaster that will burn reminders into your breakfast. Using a stylus, you write on the top, and then the toaster heats your bread while burning the message in. No word of how the damn thing actually works, which means it probably doesn't, or is still conceptual. If I had to guess I'd say there is a laser involved, or maybe black magic/sorcery. I like it though, and want one. I even have my first message ready. "Honey, stop eating my damn bread and do the freaking dishes. Love, me."

A couple more pics after the jump.

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