Sep 10 2009 Are We Having Fun Yet?: New iPod Nano Shoots Video, Voice Records, FM Radios
Apple just released an updated iPod Nano which features a bigger screen, 640 x 480 video recording, voice recording, and FM radio capabilities. As usual, they come in all sorts of fun colors so you can match your media player to your eyes (Chinese girls do not come with green eyes -- anybody?!). 8 giggers cost $150 and 16 bangers $180. Is it worth an extra $30 to double your storage? You be the judge. I'll play the bailiff! Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Good, now where were you last night around 10PM? Because I was peeking in your bedroom window but you weren't theeeeere!
Thanks to Kamaren, smith and Todd, who still carry record players BECAUSE THEY'RE OLDSCHOOL LIKE THAT. I swear, you guys are so fresh.
May 21 2009 Girl Miraculously Escapes Darwin Award Despite Diving In Front Of Truck For iPod
Apparently some 16-year old girl dove into traffic because she dropped her iPod in the street and had already blasted her remaining brains out at level 11 volume.
The girl was walking across the street on Tuesday when she dropped her iPod. She went back to grab it in moving traffic and was, unsurprisingly, hit by the approaching pickup truck. She suffered a broken leg, but hey, her iPod is OK!
Now this is the time where I close my eyes and daydream about being the person driving the truck. OH. UH-OH! LADY LOOK OU.... There were no survivors.
Brilliant Girl Jumps In Front of a Pickup Truck to Save iPod [gizmodo]
May 17 2009 XBox 360/Zune Mashup Device Coming?
Is Microsoft working on a device that combines functionality of the XBox 360 and Zune? I don't even know what the hell that would be, but maybe.
The project, codenamed "xYz," is said to feature a WVGA touchscreen and a way to play music and movies on both the device as well as the Xbox 360. Basically, it's going to be a connected handheld gaming system with rich multimedia features.
Eh. Also, "xYz" -- what a horrible codename. I can already think of like a million better ones. Including, and pretty much limited to, "Project Zune Liquidation".
Mar 13 2009 Sissypants Suing Over Exploded iPod Touch
A 17-year old and his family are suing Apple after an iPod Touch allegedly blew up in the sissy's pocket and caused 2nd degree burns.
It claims the boy had his i-pod touch off and in his pocket at school on December 4th, when he heard a pop and felt a burning sensation.
The lawsuit is seeking more than 200-thousand dollars in damages.
Pfft, I've got some 2nd degree burns but you don't see me trying to sue Cup Noodles. No, I think there's more to this story than the family is telling us. Namely, their house is about to be foreclosed and there was a reciprocating saw involved in the explosion. Elementary my dear, Watson. Now, fetch me a glass of the good stuff and come sit on Sherlock's lap.
Family Sues Apple Over Exploding iPod [local12]
Thanks to Douche McAllister, who had an entire sever blow up and catch fire in his pants but refused to sue because he's a real man with wrought-iron genitalia.
Mar 10 2009 Geekologie Review: The Clarion MiND
WOOT -- a product review. I took the Clarion MiND to find the grave of F. Scott Fitzgerald and then, in his honor, to the bar. Hit the jump to find out how it all went down.
Mar 9 2009 The Compact Disc Turned 30 Yesterday
That's right, March 8th marked the "historic demonstration of the first CD prototype codenamed 'Pinkeltje' on March 8th, 1979." Well congratulations, compact disc, I almost forgot you were still here.
While many would argue that the CD is on its way out in favor of smaller, highly portable MP3 files, the disc has definitely left a lasting mark on the industry. To date, over 3.5 billion audio CD players have been sold alongside 240 billion discs.
Damn -- that's a lot of discs! That's almost a quarter of a trillion dollars. And a trillion dollars, my friends, is how much money I have in the bank. It barely fits! Just sayin', bling bling, money ain't a thing. I'm talking skating rink ice. Ladies?
Compact Disc turns 30, MP3 doesn't bother to send a gift [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, who still buys tapes because he's smart enough to understand that technology comes in cycles.
Mar 6 2009 Real Product Review Coming!: Clarion MiND
That's right folks, a real, honest-to-God product review from yours truly. It should be up in the next couple of days and will cover the Clarion MiND (Mobile Internet Navigation Device). Per the manufacturer:
Combining personal GPS navigation and real-time Points of Interest (POI) with Internet based entertainment and full web browsing, the easily portable and pocketable Clarion MiND Mobile Internet Navigation Device provides rich GPS navigation with full PC-like Internet browsing capabilities thanks to its 4.8-inch, 800 x 480-pixel touchscreen. You can connect to the Internet via Wi-Fi at home, in the office or via hotspots out and about in the city. The ClarionMiND also allows for Internet connectivity via Bluetooth when paired with a mobile phone.
Expect pictures of my hands, and, if you're lucky, maybe even some of my car's dash! Now, is there anything in particular you want to know before I punch in the address of the nearest liquor store and massage parlor? Ask away, then stay tuned for the lowdown. Oh, and if anyone asks, I'm totally not driving without a license.
Hit the jump for some wack-ass commercial for the thing.
Continue Reading " Real Product Review Coming!: Clarion MiND "
Dec 11 2008 Oh Snap, There's A Zune Phone Coming!
Or is there? I don't know, I'm not good at speculation. But I am good at making shit up. And also, making out. Ladies?
According to Trip Chowdhry, an analyst at Global Equities Research, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer will announce a Zune-style mobile device during his keynote address at the upcoming Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, on January 7, 2009. In an article in Barron's, Chowdhry claims that the company's new centerpiece will combine the best features of the Zune media player with the hardware design of Danger's mobile Sidekick, in addition to "motion enhancement features," like an accelerometer.
Basically, this means the device will come with a physical keyboard like HTC's G1 and will likely feature a larger screen to accommodate heavy multimedia elements. And since we're all here copying each other's mobile phone features, we'll be shocked if the Zune phone doesn't feature multitouch capabilities.
Wow, way to make my new-phone boner shrivel like a century-old prune. Microsoft, Microsoft, Microsoft. Did you not learn anything from yesterday's lesson? Are you trying to drop hints about a new phone or not? If so, this is how it's done:
Steve Ballmer: Zune phone? Who said anything about a Zune phone? Psyche -- gimme them digits, bitches! BA-DOW!
Remember Microsoft, I'm still available for hire.
Rumor: Zune Phone Is Coming to CES 2009 [wired]
Thanks to Ain, who doesn't need a cellphone because he has two tin cans and long piece of string in his treefort.
Sep 4 2007 Sony's Rolly An Egg Shaped Media Player
What is that blurry egg shaped thing in the video you ask? Well apparently that's Sony's new media player, the Rolly. When I first saw it I thought it was football sized, but when you watch the end of the video you see that it's really just the size of an emu egg. It doesn't have a display and may be controlled with only one button and a possible accelerometer. I just don't know about this thing. The video made me want to claw my eyes out, and I don't think I need a media player that rolls off the desk and breaks itself.
Sony's Rolly An Egg Shaped Media Player [engadget]
Aug 16 2007 Wind Up Media Player
Wind-up radio inventor Trevor Baylis is now dropping a wind-up media player very cleverly named the Trevor Baylis Eco Media Player. It can be charged via USB or hand crank, and (although I don't believe it) one minute of cranking powers the device for approximately 40 minutes. It has all the features you would expect from a media player (except maybe this one being the size of a brick) and retails for around $350. Someone come up with a gerbil wheel mod for this thing and then you'll be onto something: a media player with a damn gerbil attachment that I still won't buy. Maybe.
Wind Up Media Player [tech.co.uk]
