Nov 19 2009 I Smell Beer Pong!: Pick Your Nose Cups Prevent Spread Of Drinkborne Illnesses
These Pick Your Nose party cups from Fred are a set of 24 cups (2 each of 12 designs) with different noses printed on them. That way you can easily identify your beverage and not end up drinking from somebody's dipping spit-cup. WHICH HAPPENS. Plus, you you get to spice up your look a bit. Although I'm a little disappointed they didn't get a little more creative with the designs. What about a witch doctor's nose with a bone through it? Don't even tell me that's not a brilliant idea. Because I will shrink your head faster than you can say, "OOO EEE, OOO AH AH TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG!" Now, go look in the mirror. Haha, of course I didn't actually do it -- I DON'T EFF WITH BLACK MAGIC. Now The Gathering, that's a whole different story none of your business.
Hit the jump for a woman drinking out of a man's nose model. A woman with a man's nose -- ha!
Continue Reading " I Smell Beer Pong!: Pick Your Nose Cups Prevent Spread Of Drinkborne Illnesses "
Oct 23 2009 CHOO CHOO!: A Little Superconductor Train
This is some French guy making a little superconductor train out of a bunch of magnets and a cup of magic potion. I have no idea what's in the magic potion but that won't stop me from chugging a whole chalice in the hopes of floating. Plus, it even works upside down which is super cool because I've always wanted to take a nap on the ceiling. I will drool on you!
Thanks to Rich the destroyer, who destroys because he's Rich the destroyer damnit, you know who he is!
Sep 14 2009 Yes, Please!: Pew Pew Laser Cheeze
Youtube (from pictureisunrelated)
Thanks to chris and NumberOneSpatula, who once robbed a bank with cheese sticks. Pretty gutsy, guys. Also, delicious (pass the marinara).
Sep 14 2009 Burn It!: Ghost Table Held Up By Black Magic
I'm not even going to begin to try and understand how this table stays erect, but I think it has something to do with the dark arts (or boner pills). Whatever the case, the acrylic table was designed by John Brauer and reminds me a little of the painted table we featured awhile back. Not a ton, but a little. Also, I went to get some frozen tart yogurt yesterday and the place was all modern and had clear tables. Yeah, I tried to set my sundae down and missed. 30-second rule! (I lapped that shit off the floor like a dog)
Clear Acrylic Grand Illusion Is a Designer Table Without the Table [gizmodo]
Sep 14 2009 TV Wand Changes The Channel With Magic!
Let's face it: pushing buttons on a remote to change the channel on your television is archaic and embarrassing. What we need are a bunch of magic wands to wave around like assholes! Well we're in luck! Enter the Kymera Magic Wand.
It works like a standard universal learning remote but thanks to a built-in accelerometer it's able to recognize "magical gestures" instead of just pushing buttons.
So for example, to turn the volume up or down on your TV you'd simply make clockwise or counter-clockwise gestures with the wand, and to change the channel you'd either flick it up or down. All-in-all there are 13 different gestures recognized by the wand that you can custom-program including big swish, push forward, pull back and even multi-taps.
The wand is allegedly real and will set you back around $84 when they start shipping next month. Alternatively, have a child sit in front of the television and yell at them when you want the channel changed. Isn't that right, dad? Who's your little #1 remote?!
Kymera Magic Wand Universal TV Remote [ohgizmo]
Sep 1 2009 I Must Have It!: Magical Unicorn Juice
Some guy on eBay recently sold the last jar of unicorn semen in the United States for $31 plus $3 flat rate shipping. If you were the buyer please contact me, as I must have some. *ahem* For science, for science (if I repeat things it makes them real).
This is possibly the only jar of Unicorn semen left in the united states.Unicorns were bred for their magic and keen night hunting skills to protect lepreachauns that had been injured in battle during the civil war. Unicorns were only found in two places on the planet, the northern and southern hemispheres. Anyone in possession of this rare and magical fluid will be able to swim with the wolves and fly with the dolphins as its powers are still being found.I opened the jar while i was on my computer and my computer flickered for a minute and i realized the semen had helped me kill Yogg-Saron on my World of Warcraft account and i recieved the Shawl of Haunted memories and the Mantle of the Wayward Conqueror. i have already been blessed and recieved my gift...so i'm going to pass the power onto someone else. Do not drink the unicorn semen as the power is too much for the human digestive system and could change your DNA and give you the shits. Bid, but Bid Wisely.
Do not drink, my ass. I have an iron stomach (and lung) and am gonna guzzle that whole jar like I'm shotgunning a beer. LASER VISION, YOU WILL BE MINE!
Thanks Chris, but if I found out you bought it and aren't sharing, well, that's just cruel. GIVE ME A SIP!
Jul 21 2009 Magical: This Three Keyboard Cat Moon Shirt
If the 3 Wolf Moon Shirt was magical, imagine the spells you'll be able to cast with this $20 3 Keyboard Cat Moon Shirt! I mean, it combines the sorcery of the 3 wolf moon shirt AND keyboard cat. Rumor has it, the shirt is so powerful it brought somebody's grandmother back to life and got her pregnant. Seriously, I'm not making this up. Yes I am. It was actually somebody's grandfather. Play me off, keyboard cat!
Thanks to Travis, who once wore a 3 Keyboard Cat Moon shirt to a concert and got to sing with the band on stage.
Jun 26 2009 Surprisingly Not Bad: Harry Potter The Musical
Are you a Harry Potter fan? Looking to blow your whole day at work watching videos on Youtube? I know what you do on Fridays!
Get ready for a musical adventure as Harry Potter and his pals go back to Hogwarts for another year of learning shenanigans! Only this year their wizarding world gets turned on its head when the Dark Lord, Voldemort, comes back from the dead to take his revenge on The Boy Who Lived. Filled with magical fun and original songs by Darren Criss and AJ Holmes, this is a Potter-spectacular that no fan should miss. So take a ride on Voldemort's flying machine and get ready to back to Hogwarts!
It's amazingly not bad, and I just spent the last two hours watching it all. And by watching it I mean sleeping. I was there in spirit though. No, no I wasn't.
Youtube (with all the other parts)
Thanks to trishna87, who once sawed a man in half. Not magically either. She's serving life.
May 22 2009 Magical Wolf Shirt Receives Rave Reviews
A shirt being sold by Amazon that features three wolf heads howling at the moon has receiving over 500 reviews and seriously increased sales. Most of the reviews mention the shirt's magical properties. Here's the one that got it all started:
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.
There you have it. The review was so popular that wolf shirt sales have gone through the roof (up 2,300%), with everybody else trying to score a piece of the magic. Hell, the BBC even did a story on it. Now, if you'll excu....*ripping track jacket off* OW OW OOOOOOOOOWWW!! Come on -- who likes it hairy?
Amazon Product Site
and
Joke review boosts T-shirt sales [bbcnews]
Thanks to gizmoduck, The Superficial Writer, pironic, debaser, Mubbly, Ben, Jacob, Danimal, Pete, Yopoleo, Richard Belding, Brett and Ryan, who know a shirt that will get that ladies when they see it.
May 9 2009 Konami Code Shows List Of Coded Websites
Entering the Konami Code on this page displays a list of other known Konami coded websites. I tried out several of them, and they all do different things. One started displaying zombies, one broke into the 'all your base are belong to us' cutscene and others didn't do jackshit. So yeah, feel free to email them if you know of any others. Or, share them in the comments here. But don't go trying to trick me into visiting an adult website, or my mom will take away my internet. And then, no Geekologie. And without Geekologie, ______________.
FILL IN THE BLANK CONTEST!
Thanks to This Is Me Posting and Adubbz, who once beat Contra without using the code. Just kidding, nobody has.
May 7 2009 FAKE: Shadow Chair's Shadows Are All Wrong
The $1,050 Shadow Chair may appear to defy the laws of decency, but it's actually not. IT'S A TRAP TRICK! SPOILER ALERT: The shadow is actually part of the chair's frame. HIYO -- I bet you didn't see that coming, did you? You did? Oh, well aren't you just the little Sherlock Geekologie Reader!? Well riddle me this then: if a train departs Washington DC traveling north at 60 MPH, and another one leaves NYC going south at 55 MPH, does anyone get groped on the subway in Japan? Probably -- and that's just wrong.
Hit the jump for a picture of the seat in action.
Continue Reading " FAKE: Shadow Chair's Shadows Are All Wrong "
May 6 2009 OLD Hover Scooter Is OLD, From The '60's
The Hover Scooter may have made its debut in December, 1960, but that doesn't make it any less the vehicle I want to ride to work everyday. Also, if any of you ladies are interested in a lift I'll even mount a seat on the blower. And I'm not just saying that so I can make a 'If you can read this, my bitch got sucked into the intake' t-shirt, but, damnit you got me!
Hover Scooter [neatorama]
Apr 7 2009 Violence Escalates Between Twilight Fans (Twihards) And Non-Twilight Fans (Anti's)
That's right folks, diehard Twilight fans (Twihards) are waging war on their non-teen vampire loving brethren (Anti's) for talking smack on the series. Thankfully, there's a discussion board that has collected all the cases of Twihards attacking Anti's with books, bricks, knives and flare guns. I'm sure some of them are fake, most are poorly written, but a couple of them were pretty funny. They're broken into categories, depending on the severity of the attack, ranging from slap on the wrist, to police worthy, to felony. You know, I always suspected these books were brainwashing readers into lives of violence. This Twilight series is even worse than gangster rap! And, oh God, my girlfriend is one of them! BURN IT WITH FIRE!
The Twihard Attack Directory [twilightsucks]
Thanks to Watch, who once called Dracula a blood-sucking taint and then peed in his sleeping-coffin.
Mar 16 2009 TA-DA!: Hubless Motorcycle Runs On Magic
This is a motorcycle with hubless wheels. Unfortunately, due to my tiny, dinosaur(loving) brain, I'm incapable of understanding how such future technology works. So this is when I copy/paste some quotes and wait for the next meteor to hit.
Hubless wheels work by fixing the rotating parts (brake ring, bearings, hubless rim) onto the outer side of a non-rotating inner ring that attaches to the motorcycle's swingarm or forks.
Advantages include decreased unsprung weight, reduced structural stress (no spokes to transmit forces through), increased braking leverage, more accurate steering, reduced vibration and a lower center of gravity.
Well hot damn! Let me just grab my leathers and we'll hit the road. I get to ride on the back though -- I'm rocking my chaps commando style. Hey, car behind me, get a load of this sexy ass! Haha, I know where you're going -- straight to BONERTOWN, USA! Oh, looks like you naturally swerve a little to the left.
Hit the jump for more pictures and a video of the magical wheels.
Continue Reading " TA-DA!: Hubless Motorcycle Runs On Magic "
Mar 11 2009 New iPod Shuffle Speaks, Lacks Wheel
The new iPod Shuffle's capacity has been doubled to 4GB, and now the minuscule music player doesn't have a control wheel. But how will you ever reign over your music? Simple -- with controls on the earbud cord. WHEE!
The new design keeps the clip and adds VoiceOver -- a new feature that gets around the lack of display by telling you which song is playing and who performs it at the touch of a button on the earbud cable. It'll also call out your playlists and let you navigate to others. Available in black or silver for $80 and your claim to what Apple calls the "world's smallest music player."
World's smallest music player my ass. I happen to own the world's smallest music player. It's a violin. *rubbing fingers together* Can you hear that? It's the REAL world's smallest music player playing "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath. Bitchin'!
Five minute promotional video about the new Shuffle after the jump.
Feb 11 2009 'Invisible' Treehouse Hotel Is Hard To Find
Let's face it, we all want to live in treehouses. Unfortunately, I purchased all the remaining trees on earth, so it looks like you suckers are out of luck. Hey, there's always telephone poles. Also, I will be selling acorns for $1,000 a pop. Anyway, this is a treehouse hotel constructed of mirrored glass by Swedish architectural firm Tham & Videgard Hansson Arkitekter.
It is an old architectural trick used since the invention of mirrored glass: covering buildings with the reflective material and declaring that they blend in with the surroundings. Most architects use it to convince wary citizens that it is OK if their building is tall because it will reflect the sky and nature. The rendering always makes the building disappear, and the reality is always a big clunky mirrored box.
I like it. And not just because I was conceived in a treehouse. Because I wasn't -- I was conceived in the trunk of an Oldsmobile after a drug deal gone horribly wrong. Oh, I'm sorry -- was that too romantic to tell this close to Valentine's?
Hit the jump for schematics of what the inside looks like.
Continue Reading " 'Invisible' Treehouse Hotel Is Hard To Find "
Jan 28 2009 One Cake To Fill Them All: LOTR Desserts
That's right folks, that's a freaking cake right there -- the city of Minas Tirith in all it's fondant-y glory. Wow. Now I'm confident I speak for all of us when I say 'my God would I lay siege to that city -- with a fork!' Am I right? "Thou shall not pass....on seconds!" Thanks Gandalf, I'll have another. Oh, uh-oh -- whipped cream fight!
Hit the jump for several more LOTR cakes, including a pretty solid looking golden ring.
Continue Reading " One Cake To Fill Them All: LOTR Desserts "
Jan 27 2009 Spider Robot Shoots Webs, Catches Criminals
This spider-inspired robot apparently shoots webs to catch criminals in the act of cowering like little girls. Per translated German:
Which like an ugly remote controlled car is in really an awake robot, which is to catch burglars, looks harmless. The Japanese robot manufacturer Tmsuk and the safety enterprise Alacom developed the prototype of the T-34 of robot mentioned.
I have no idea what that means but I think what they were trying to get at is if this thing actually catches you, you're probably the worst burglar ever. Or a magic goat. Probably a magic goat.
Spiderman-Robocop fängt Menschen [stern]
Thanks to Dirk, who once had the opportunity to prevent a liquor store robbery but used the opportunity to guzzle a bottle of wine while the clerk was distracted.
Jan 27 2009 WTF?: 'Magic Goat' Arrested For Robbery
That's right folks, the authorities in Nigeria have arrested a magic goat (which may or may not be a tree goat) suspected of theft and are waiting for the crafty bastard to return to its human form.
Vigilantes took the black and white beast to the police saying it was an armed robber who had used black magic to transform himself into a goat to escape arrest after trying to steal a Mazda 323.
"The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car. They pursued them. However one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat""We cannot confirm the story, but the goat is in our custody. We cannot base our information on something mystical. It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat," he said.
Now I want a magic goat. I'd go on tour with Willy Wonk-eye and become the world's greatest magician -- and lover. Sorry ladies, that's goat lover.
Goat detained over armed robbery [yahoonews]
Thanks to Deathbat, marty and ray, who all managed to escape detection in the women's locker room by turning into towels. Lucky bastards! Except for you ray, that chick was ugly.
Jan 22 2009 Forget Rubik's, I Want A Yoshimoto Cube
A Yoshimoto Cube is actually two separate cubes nested together. The technical terminology for the change is "the transformation of two stellated rhombic dodecahedrons from a cube". Honestly, I just like listening to this guy's voice. It's soothing, like a homicidal maniac's.
Youtube
Thanks to OJ's Mom, who once transformed a stellated cylinder in his pants into a dodickahardon IN YO FACE!
