Aug 7 2009 Yes, Please!: ChefStack Pancake Machine Cranks Out 200 Pancakes Every Hour
The ChefStack Pancake Machine is my dream come true and can produce up to 200 golden brown patties from heaven every hour IN THREE DIFFERENT SIZES. WEEEEEEOH WEEEEEOH WEEEEEOH! Sorry, that was an ambulance passing. Where were we? Oh yes, I LOVE PANCAKES. One time I even had some with blueberries in them. They were good -- BUT NOT AS GOOD AS THE ONES WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS AND SPRINKLES! You just throw a bag of batter (pancake only, please) in the machine and you'll be neck deep in circular syrup receptacles before you can say, "Remember when Vito turned out to be gay and made out with Johnny Cakes towards the end of The Sopranos? I thought that was romantic." Aaaaaand now I want some johnnycakes.
Thanks to twellve and Mih0, who prefer their pancakes made the old fashioned way: with real cocaine.
May 27 2009 What, No D20?: The Dice Rolling Machine
The Dice-O-Matic is used to roll dice for online games hosted by GamesByEmail so that there are actually physical dice being used instead of a program. The 7 foot tall, 104 pound machine produces over 1.3 million die rolls a day, about 80,000 of which are used for games. The rest are all in vain. And speaking of in vein: alcohol, that's where it belongs.
Industrial Dice Rolling Machine [ohgizmo]
Mar 12 2009 Wine: World's Most Complicated Corkscrew
This is the world's most complicated corkscrew. It not only opens a bottle, but pours it into your glass as well. The machine was allegedly made out of 300+ found parts and is going into limited production of 100 units. Which makes me wonder just how "found" the parts really were. Anybody else get the feeling they were "found" in a box of ordered supplies? Clever. But not nearly as clever as my corkscrew, which is a machete. Yeah, I learned the trick watching Big Trouble in Little China. "Nothing or double, Jack". Pork Chop Express FTW!
Now feel free to leave your favorite Big Trouble quote in the comments.
The Corkscrew a Marvel of Mechanical Artistry [uberreview]
Feb 22 2009 Selling Candy In Human Vending Machines
Kit-Kat, tired of me reaching my hand up through the door at the bottom and stealing their candy, has decided to call in the big guns: namely, human vending machines.
Don't expect these things to pop up on every street corner though; they are part of the 'Working Like a Machine' campaign that's being run by Kit Kat to show how people need a break from the monotony of day to day life.
The idea was stolen from Japan like everything else that is awesome in the world and makes me want to stick my hand up in a machine more than ever. Whatever, human vending machines need love too.
Kit Kat Unveils Human Vending Machines In London [gizmodo]
Thanks to Martyn, who once punched through the glass of a vending machine and stole a Snickers. Then I threatened to tell on him and ate the bar myself. It was the best one I've ever had.
Oct 23 2008 WTF?: Man 'Dances' With Heavy Machinery
This is some guy dancing with a 5-ton digger, and it's every bit as mecherotic as you'd expect.
'Transports Exceptionnels' is an experiment piece created by French dance group Compagnie Beau Geste. Unlike traditional ballets, this piece doesn't doesn't follow a narrative. Instead, the viewer is encouraged to find their own meaning.
Own meaning? Like what? That twisted f*** is trying to court a ditch digger.
Man and machine duet [reuters]
Thanks to Craig, who once danced with the devil in the pale moonlight.
Aug 19 2008 World's Largest Digging Machine Is Huge
The world's largest digger is a giant trencher built a couple years ago by German manufacturer Krupp. It took more than 5 years and $100 million to design and manufacture.
The machine is almost 95 meters (311 ft) high and 215 meters (705 ft) long which is just like almost 2.5 football fields in length with 45,500 tons in weight. Maximum digging speed is 10 meters (32 ft) per minute and it can move more than 76,000 cubic meters (~2,700,000 cubic ft) of coal, rock, and earth per day.
Wow, pretty impressive. You get two of these things working around the clock for a couple days and I could finally bury my girlfriend. Haha! No, but seriously honey, go to the gym.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the digging behemoth.
Continue Reading " World's Largest Digging Machine Is Huge "
Jul 31 2008 Amazing: Wooden Mechanical Motion Machine
This is a video of an all wooden machine made by a 70-year old man named Del who may or may not be Santa Claus. It contains absolutely no metal whatsoever and displays virtually ever method of mechanical motion, all in a single machine. Sure it doesn't actually do anything, but who cares, it's freaking awesome. Santa even used a variety of different wood to make the thing, including: maple, black walnut, pine, oak, cherry, hickory, and morning. Well done! I've been good this year Santa, and I'm thinking this is what I want for Christmas. And, if it's not too much trouble, one of your female elves. Pointier the ears, the better.
Youtube
Thanks Skyler, now let's build one out of marshmallows.
Apr 16 2008 Japanese Cigarette Machine Asks For Your ID
You have to be 20 to smoke in Japan, but that hasn't stopped those younger than that from buying cigarettes (but not pot or other meds) from machines (which, unlike awesome robots, can't discern age). So now the Tobacco Institute of Japan has started rolling out machines that will only work after a "tobacco passport" age-verification card is swiped. What prevents Japanese schoolgirls from getting somebody else's card is very little, so I wonder how effective these will be. But what do I know? Did you say jack shit? Then you are absolutely correct, knew him in college. Well, his birth name is Jackamo Crapatonian, that was just a clever nickname we came up with.
Japanese Schoolgirl Watch: Tobacco Vending Machines Block Underage Smokers [wired]
Thanks to Melissa, who doesn't need an ID because everyone knows her, for the tip
Apr 8 2008 2008 Rube Goldberg Machine Contest
The Rube Goldberg Machine Contest is held every year at Purdue and requires contestants to complete a simple task with a complex machine in 20 or more ridiculous steps. Last year's objective was to juice an orange into a pitcher and pour the juice into a cup. This year's was to build a hamburger with patty, two vegetables, and two condiments. For the third time in four years the Purdue Society of Professional Engineers took top honors. Coincidence? I think not. I have the feeling there's something fishy going on here. Let's review the evidence: The contest is held at Purdue. Purdue wins a lot. *puts feet on desk, lights pipe* I think my work here is done.
Another video about the winning team and machine after the jump.
Dec 19 2007 InstyMeds Machine Dispenses Your Drugs
The InstyMeds machine was created by Ken Rosenblum to address the U.S. pharmacist shortage (which I was unaware of). You still have to get a prescription from a doctor (damn!) with a special barcode and then you feed it into the machine. The unit then dispenses the correct number (damn!) of pills in a bottle with printed dosage, warnings, etc. You can then pay at the machine via credit card or have it bill your insurance provider. "While the current model of the InstyMeds only holds about 100 different drugs, apparently 45 of those drugs represent 80% of what is prescribed by doctors." So chances are it's got what you're looking for. Unfortunately for the woman in the picture it doesn't carry retro-active birth control medication. Nor does it carry any anti-vampire serum for that blood sucker attacking her neck.
