Oct 29 2009 A-Ha!: So THAT'S How Twins Are Made
This is a cute pair of twins rocking Mac copy/paste shirts. There's a shot of twin boys after the jump wearing the Microsoft equivalent. Honestly, did you know this was how twins were made? Because I didn't. I just thought you had to do it twice in a row!
Hit the jump for the boys.
Oct 23 2009 Dirt Slingers!: Apple Ad Taking On Windows 7
This is a just-released Apple ad making fun of Microsoft's new Windows 7. I thought it was smarmy and, despite not knowing what smarmy means or if it's even a real word, spell check didn't say anything so I'm going with it. Also, enough with the dirt slinging, Apple. Geekologie is 100% composed on a PC. But Apple, if you're reading this: I'd be willing to try writing Geekologie on a high-end Macbook Pro. Just sayin' (contact me for shipping address).
Thanks to Kevin, who doesn't take sides because the likes the way fence feels on his butt.
Apr 6 2009 Mac Vs. PC: Wolverine Vs. Rorschach
This is a little video of Wolverine vs. Rorschach in the style of those Mac vs. PC commercials. You might like it, you might not. But that's neither here nor there, what's important is that my roommate ate all the leftover Chinese food I was saving for an afternoon snack, and now I want to kill him. The only problem is, I know I shouldn't because I already threatened to kill him last night loud enough for all the neighbors to hear. But, if he does turn up missing, you didn't read this. And if you think I can't make your computer explode and burn you to death with just a couple quick keystrokes, you've got another thing coming. And also, a pretty firm grasp of computer technology. Now, put your grandma on.
Thanks to NUTZBABIE and NinjaMuffin, who once called Wolverine's mom a dirty ore and lived to tell about it.
Feb 24 2009 Screw A Picture: VIDEO Of The New Mac Mini
For those of you naysayers that claimed last week's picture of the Mac Mini was Photoshopped, here's the video. So either somebody's good with Premiere as well, or it's the real deal. And speaking of the real deal: your boobs. They almost look too perfect. I'm gonna need to touch them to verify their authenticity. Haha, that's the first time I've ever touched one -- I have no idea! Wait, one more time.
Videos: A Spy Video of the New Mac Mini [uberreview]
Feb 20 2009 Bowtie Camera: Spy Pic Of The New Mac Mini
Is this the rear of the new Mac Mini? Is it just part of an elaborate Photoshop hoax? What's a Mac Mini anyway? Are those real hardwood floors? Did I eat breakfast this morning? Is blogging with the heat exhaust from my laptop blowing on my junk giving me wang cancer?
Answer key: Probably. Probably. Little McDonald's burger. Wood is good, but plastic is fantastic. Sam Adams and Miller Lite. Does a Yeti have two snowballs?
Revealed, the Back End of the Next Mac Mini [uberrreview]
Also, Happy Birthday Cam, the beer's on me! No seriously, I missed my mouth.
Jan 18 2009 Highly Questionable: Steve Jobs Has HIV?
I'm assuming the picture is all part of a really shitty hoax, but who knows.
On January 14, 2009, in an internal Apple memo, Jobs wrote that in the previous week he had "learned that my health-related issues are more complex than I originally thought" and announced a six-month leave of absence until the end of June 2009 to allow him to better focus on his health.
Obviously I hope Steve doesn't actually have HIV, but that Apple finds a cure anyways. Whatever the case may be -- get better, Steve.
Steve Jobs purported HIV medical status results, 2008 [wikileaks]
Thanks to steve (not THE Steve), Jimmy and Malicious Lingerer, who all wish Mr. Jobs the best.
Jan 6 2009 MacWorld Sneak Peak: The MacBook Wheel
Well folks, MacWorld begins today and everyone some people are excited to see if Apple drops some technology bombs on the world. And boy are they! Just check out the latest in their MacBook series -- the Macbook Wheel. It replaces that pesky keyboard with a touch-friendly iPod wheel. Whee! Wheel! Note: For you paint-chippers out there this is fake and the video was made by the Onion. But my god is it a good idea. I freaking love wheels. Including, but not limited to, the one of fortune.
Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard [theonion]
Thanks to Lisa, twellve, Tim, Fish and ITSELF, who all know you don't need keys to type. But you do need them to unlock doors.
Dec 26 2008 Macs Vs. PCs: Transform And Battle It Out!
This is a video of Macs and PCs transforming into little robot people and battling to the death. Who wins? You'll have to watch to find out! Read: I stopped watching halfway through to go scavenge for food. Well sandwiches don't make themselves! *ahem* Ladies, that was a hint. Crunchy PB, boysenberry jelly -- cut into triangles.
Thanks to *nix and Bustani, who can both transform from video gamer to sex machine in the time it takes to push pause.
Dec 15 2008 Laptop Concept Has *GASP* Three Screens
This is a MacBook (Mac triBook) concept that has two additional fold-out screens for more desktop real estate. It also features a trackpad that stretches the entire length of the main console. Whee! Of course, it's just a concept, so you're probably thinking to yourself, "f***, I could Photoshop some shit together and get it on Geekologie". And you know what? You include a nudey picture of your girlfriend and you just might. But seriously, nice try, but I've already designed something far superior. It's called the quadBook, and that bitch has THREE MORE screens that fold out. Suck it, Apple, your ass just got cored!
Mac|Life 3-Screen Concept Melts Brains [spike]
Thanks to Kirk, who has a 10-screen laptop and has sex with the girl on the subway that you're always ogling. The one with the red blouse. I did her first though. Just don't tell him that.
Nov 19 2008 Really? That's The Best You Could Do?
In a story that reminds me of every wedding I've ever gone to where they set out disposable cameras so you can take pictures, some dude took a snapshot of his junk with his iPhone. And, after emailing it to his mistress, his girlfriend found it. Oh snap! So what did the no-good cheating bastard do? Simple, he blamed it on Apple.
The Fanboy's excuse was that he had taken the picture but never sent it to anyone. In fact he was so worried about his Iphone taking the picture that he said had paid a visit to the ironically named Apple Genius Bar. There he swore that a spokesman for apple had told him that it was a known glitch. Photos sometimes automatically attach themselves to an e-mail address and appear in the sent folder, even though no e-mail was ever sent, he swore blind that the Genius told him.
Well folks, I think we can all walk away from this having learned a valuable lesson. One about, oh I don't know, making up better lies.
Help! Iphone snapped my husband's genitals [theinquirer]
Thanks to Michael, who doesn't take pictures of himself in the mirror for his Facebook profile.
Oct 22 2008 New Mac Commercials Directly Stab At Vista
These are the two new Mac ads (other one after the jump) that take a direct stab at Microsoft's recent commercial endeavors and Vista. Now I hate to call this a mud slinging campaign, but that certainly seems to be what it is. Which, I think we can all agree, harkens back to the age old question: which came first, the chicken or the egg?
A: It was a cock! Trust me, I'm an evolutionary bioscientologist.
Hit the jump for the other one.
Continue Reading " New Mac Commercials Directly Stab At Vista "
Sep 19 2008 Macs Used To Help Make New Microsoft Ad
Uh-oh. It's been discovered that some of the images used in Microsoft's new 'I'm a PC' commercial were created with Macs.
Four of the images that Microsoft made available on its PressPass site today display the designation "Adobe Photoshop C3 Macintosh" when their file properties are examined. The images appear to be frames from the television ads that Microsoft will launch later today.
One of the images is of a real Microsoft engineer, identified only as "Sean," who resembles John Hodgman, the actor who plays the PC character in Apple Inc.'s iconic ads.
Well seeing how Microsoft hired ad agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky to create the commercials, it's not surprising that they were using Macs since there wasn't a "no Macs" clause in the agreement. Probably should have been though. I told you to let me handle the law, Microsoft, I'm mad legal. Ha, well technically I'm 17, but I have a good fake.
On a side note, today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day, so get out there and avast, ye maties and whatever the hell else pirates do.*
*Raping unacceptable, pillaging fine.
Microsoft's 'I'm a PC' ad images made on Macs [computerworld]
Thanks to Stephen and Huggy Bear, who are both half PC, half Mac, but 100% pirate.
Sep 19 2008 Microsoft's New 'I'm A PC' Commercial
Well folks, after the two Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld commercials, Microsoft has shifted their advertising campaign to a more head-on approach to Apple's 'Get A Mac' ads. Introducing the 'I'm a PC' commercial! As you can see from the video, people with PC's do all sorts of crazy things. From shark diving to practicing law to building green buildings, and even fishmongering, PC's have their hand in every pot. But not mine -- nobody touches me gold!
Thanks to Goat and Kane, who probably only use theirs for porn.
Sep 10 2008 Apple Announces New iPod Nano, Whee!
If you haven't heard you probably live in a bomb shelter like we all should be, but Apple announced a new generation of iPod nanos yesterday at their "Let's Rock Out With Our Mac Loving Cocks Out" event in San Francisco. The new nano is thinner, curvier, and comes in a bunch of different colors, as well as 8GB and 16GB capacities. It also has an accelerometer so you can shake it to shuffle your songs and turn it sideways for a wide-screen experience. The device has the new 'Genius' feature as well, meaning it can create playlists by finding songs in your library that go well together. Neato. 8GB's are $150, 16GB's are $200, and I'll throw in some hand action for another $10. Toothless smiles are always free.
Hit the jump for the official commercial.
Aug 22 2008 Microsoft Recruits Gates, Seinfeld To Help Combat Apple's Current "Get A Mac" Ads
Apple keeps putting out those "Get a Mac" ads and Microsoft has finally decided it's not going to take them lying down with its ass in the air. So what's the company doing? Starting an ad campaign with "key celebrity pitchman" Jerry Seinfeld. Oh, and Bill Gates.
The campaign is said to be based on the idea of "Windows, Not Walls," stressing the need to "break down barriers that prevent people and ideas from connecting." Something we think open-sourcers might have a laugh at. Anywho, the immediate goal of the campaign is to reverse the negative public perception of Vista and thus incorporates elements of the Mojave Experiment. While we have doubts about the latter, the combination of Seinfeld's pithy observations with a bit of that Bill Gates, self deprecating humor seen in "Bill's Last Day" could be a winning combination.
The campaign, which kicks off September 4th, will cost Microsoft over $300 million, which, if I've done my nautical math correctly, is a lot of freaking clams. More than I could eat in one sitting anyway. If Microsoft gave me a hundredth of that money I could run Apple into the ground single keyboardedly. I'M THE GEEKOLOGIE WRITER DAMNIT, WHEN I TYPE, PEOPLE READ! Isn't that...Jesus, you're not even paying attention are you?
Microsoft enlists Seinfeld, Gates to battle "Get a Mac" ads [engadget]
Thanks Sam, you wanna be part of my smear campaign?
Jul 22 2008 MacBook Touch Hitting Streets In October?
There have been rumors flying that a MacBook touch could be hitting the market as early as October. Allegedly these rumors are substantiated too, as they came from a MacDailyNews source that broke the wireless iTunes story early as well.
Think MacBook screen, possibly a bit smaller, in glass with iPhone-like, but fuller-featured Multi-Touch. Gesture library. Full Mac OS X. This is why they bought P.A. Semi. Possibly with Immersion's haptic tech. Slot-loading SuperDrive. Accelerometer. GPS. Pretty expensive to produce initially, but sold at "low" price that will reduce margins. Apple wants to move these babies. And move they will. This is some sick shit. App Store-compatible, able to run Mac apps, too. By October at the latest.
Okay, I've heard enough. Admittedly, I was believing it at first, but now I can tell it's is a lie. How? Trusted sources don't say "This is some sick shit." That's like a back alley plastic surgeon promising you "the sweetest f***in' knockers this eye ever saw" while tapping his eyepatch and waving a machete. Sure you want to believe it, but you also want to know why the guy is working out the back of an Italian restaurant.
That said, I'm sure it's true.
Rumor: MacBook touch Coming in October [gizmodo]
Thanks Dan, now the girlfriend is gonna hound me for one.
Jul 16 2008 Steve Wozniak Likes The Price Is Right
There was a time in my life that started when I turned 21 and ended on June 15, 2007 when I would get drunk at the bar everyday at 11:00 A.M. and watched The Price Is Right. And if you think I'm joking, sadly, I am not. Anyway, this is a picture of Stephen "Woz" Wozniak, co-founder of Apple, watching the show from the front row. Sadly for Woz, he was never called down to contestant's row and given the opportunity to win a diamond tennis bracelet or curio cabinet. Still, you have good taste in game shows, Steve. Give me a call sometime and we'll pound some beers (you're buying) and complain about how freaking stupid the contestants are. We may even scream at them through the television. Good times. Miss you Bob, think about you and your beauties everyday at 11:00. <3
Hit the jump for another picture of Woz and some of my favorite Price is Right videos including the stoner that always guesses 420, one of the dumbest contestants ever, and a bloopers reel.
Jul 14 2008 Woman Selling 'Cursed' iPhone On eBay
eBayer noli.tumi may have purchased hot pink hair extensions and fake eyelashes in the past, and even dabbled in selling jewelry, but now she's going for the gusto and selling her brand new 3G iPhone. Oh, did I mention it's cursed? And that she's asking $8,180,000.50?
When I opened the package.The phone was on.
There were no cute buttons, no touch screen. (NEVER touch the screen, I'll tell you why later on.)
Instead, there was a blurry image of Steve Jobs burned into it. At first I didn't recognize it at all, my brother told me he was sure it was Steve Jobs. We looked through some pictures online and we are pretty sure the image is that of Steve Jobs.
I tried to rub it off thinking it was a joke, but the screen was SUPER HOT. I pretty much burned my fingers and as I type this, the middle and ring fingers on my right hand barely feel the keys on this keyboard. Never ever touch the screen of this ipod. The sides are cool room temperature, but the screen is intensely hot.
The image doesn't move, it's burned on so its not on the LCD. The LCD doesn't even turn on. However the sound does work, and occasionally (ussually when someone is looking at it or talking about it, but it might be a coincidence)
The iPhone chuckles, loudly!Steve Jobs just laughs at me. Over and over and over. I've had it for a day and it hasn't run out of batteries. The sound still works. It laughs while I sleep. It laughs at me in the car. At work. Everywhere.
I was going to return it, but maybe someone is interested in this haunted piece of technology.
Now I'm not saying noli is trying to pull our leg here, but I am saying it's f***ed up she's charging $3.99 for shipping. I call witch, somebody start a fire.
Thanks to Dimitri, who's trying to sell a cursed pager. Buy it now, $2.
Jul 10 2008 iPhone On Sale Tomorrow, This Kiwi Got One
Well folks, in case you had forgotten, the 3G iPhone goes on sale tomorrow. And, apparently, this assblastingcap in the photo was the first to procure said device because he lives in New Zealand, and somehow it's already Friday over there. Anybody understand how that works? I don't. Is the world spinning faster over there or something? Does it have to do with magnets? Is it ever like a full week ahead? Because if so I want to go over there, watch the news from over here, and then fly back and play the lottery real quick once I know the winning numbers. Does anybody do that? Is it illegal?
3G iPhone tomorrow, who's getting one? Who doesn't care? Who thought I was being serious about the whole time travel thing? I'm not stupid, I know it doesn't have anything to do with magnets. It's something about Australia's gravitational influence.
That Guy Got His Stupid iPhone 3G, First [gizmodo]
Jun 9 2008 The 3G iPhone Is Here, Fanboys Rejoice And Start Waiting Outside Apple Stores, I Get Drunk And Try To Forget About Life Like Any Other Day
Well folks, after months of rumors and speculation, Apple officially announced the new 3G iPhone today at the Apple Worldwide Developers Conference. It has exactly everything everyone thought it would. Well, except when I thought it was going to be a 3D iPhone. Because it doesn't have that. Everything else though, like 3G speed and GPS. The only real news is the price -- $199 for an 8GB, $299 for 16GB. And as an added bonus, the 16 is also available in white. Oh happy day! They'll all be available starting July 11th, so I'm headed up to the closest Apple store to start my month-long camp out. And by "start my month-long camp out" I mean I'll plow my car into the front of the line right before the store opens so I can be first. And by "plow my car into the front of the line right before the store opens" I mean continue lying on the couch. And by "continue lying on the couch" I quite literally mean I'm just gonna keep lying here.
