Aug 26 2009 I Would Hit That Like Vending Machine With A Stuck Bag Of Chips: XBox Controller Bento
This is a bento box made by Laura Bento (that would be like me being named Charles Blog!) for her husband's lunch. It looks pretty delicious. And I'm not just saying that because the only thing I've had to eat was a stale biscuit for lunch yesterday, but I am starting to see mirages.
The controller itself is obviously mostly comprised of rice, but the D-Pad was constructed from naturally grey Konnyaku (Japanese yam cake), while lemon peel, green apple peel, red pepper and dyed blue egg white make up the four colorful buttons.
Geez, look at all that SPAM. I sure hope Laura's husband works in a toilet testing factory. Get it? Because I heard he likes to eat on the john! Hey, me too!
Xbox 360 Bento Box Puts Real Xbox 360 to Shame [gizmodo]
Thanks to Heather, who once bento boxed a Sumo wrestler and won in the first round.
Jun 9 2009 USB Microwave Is World's Smallest, For Beans
The Heinz Beanzawave is being billed as the world's smallest microwave and measures a scant 7.4 inches tall by 6.2 inches wide and 5.9 inches deep. It's equally suited for heating a can of beans/soup at your desk or frying your nuts so you can't have children.
The mini microwave is being developed as a partner to Heinz Snap Pots, baked beans in single-serving containers. The Snap Pots, available in the U.K., fit perfectly into the Beanzawave. But the $160 device will only be released commercially if consumer feedback is positive and if component prices drop in the near future.
Well you can count me on board. I'M ON A BOAT! Just kidding, I wish I was though. No, right now I'm just laying in bed topless braiding my penises. Now where'd I put that scrunchie?
Beanzawave: The World's Smallest Microwave [fastcompany]
Thanks to scottsc, who cooks his beans at work the old fashioned way: on a campfire in the boardroom.
May 13 2009 SICK!: Fly Turns Ants Into Zombie Nurseries
The phorid fly turns fire ants into zombies by laying eggs inside them. When the larvae hatch, they eat their way to the ant's brain, which they also eat, leaving the fiery bastards to wander around like zombies before dying. Sick.
"At some point, the ant gets up and starts wandering," said Rob Plowes, a research associate at UT.
The maggot eventually migrates into the ant's head, but Plowes said he "wouldn't use the word 'control' to describe what is happening. There is no brain left in the ant, and the ant just starts wandering aimlessly. This wandering stage goes on for about two weeks."About a month after the egg is laid, the ant's head falls off and the fly emerges ready to attack any foraging ants away from the mound and lay eggs.
ZOMG -- it's head falls off. That reminds me of the time I was getting it on with a velociraptor when my parents came home early so I tried stuffing him in the closet but accidentally slammed the door closed on his neck and his head fell off. I buried it in the backyard, but I kept the body. What? It's okay if it's a dinosaur!
Hit the jump for a video of the flies in action (first video) as well as another of what jewel wasps do to cockroaches (same concept of zombification, but with a completely different method (read: injecting venom straight into the brain)).
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Apr 22 2009 What The?: Questionable Sub Commercial
I love Quiznos. Or, I should say, I loved Quiznos before I found out their ovens encourage employees to have sex with them. I mean, WTF? This isn't how you sell delicious, oven-baked subs, this is how you....damnit, now I want Quiznos.
Thanks to Jordan and Reiko, who have never gone anywhere near a toaster with their junk exposed. Or so they say.
Apr 14 2009 Gross!: Man Grows Small Fir Tree In Lung
Apparently some guy was huffing pinecones when he accidentally snorted a bud into his lungs, where it grew into a little tree. Please note: man was not actually snorting pinecones, I just made that up for the sake of providing you with the highest quality investigative journalism. Also, I don't know know if you could tell or not, but I made that graphic using Photoshop. Elite skills: I'm full of them. But hopefully, not evergreens.
Artyom Sidorkin, came to a hospital in the city of Izhevsk in Central Russia last week, complaining that he was experiencing chest pain and coughing up blood.
After submitting to an X-ray the doctors saw a lump in the patient's lung. After a biopsying the lump the doctors pulled out a 5 centimeter fir tree branch out of his lung, complete with needles.
Sick! At least he didn't swallow it though. Because one time I swallowed a pumpkin seed and then several months later pissed a jack-o-lantern, complete with cut-out face and candle. Boy did I feel 8 pounds lighter!
Hit the jump for a graphic shot of the tree and partial lung after removal. NOT recommended for lunch viewing.
Continue Reading " Gross!: Man Grows Small Fir Tree In Lung "
Apr 8 2009 Scanwiches: They're What's For Lunch
Scanwiches are cross-sectioned sandwiches that have been carefully digitized using a flatbed scanner. Each one provides a HQ picture of what to expect from a particular sandwich from a certain sandwich shop or deli. For instance, this is a Salami, Coleslaw, Tomato, and Mustard on a seeded roll from Parisi Bakery. Looks delicious! Now, if I just had a taste and smell-o-vision enabled computer monitor, I'd be in porkchop sandwiching heaven right now. But I don't, so you may be wondering why I'm licking the screen anways. You see, The Superficial Writer promised me a sweet boob post this afternoon, so I'm stretching. Now -- bringeth thine boobs, mine tongue awaits! Also, I brought a gauntlet just in case a certain dragon needs slaying.
Hit the jump for several more of the deliciousness and a link to the website.
Jan 23 2009 Mmmm, I'd Eat Him: Windwaker Link Bento
Mmmm, bento: artsy AND delicious. Throw some Zelda up in the mix and, hello, side of lust! This particular box was made by anna the red, who was also responsible for some of the other ridiculous bento we've seen in the past.
I first thought of making Link on his boat, but there was too much blue... so I gave up. I love when Link raises his hand in the air and strikes a poise when finds an item, so I decided to make Toon Link in the forest, finding a piece of heart.
Freaking amazing -- it really looks too good to eat!
UPDATE, TWO WEEKS LATER: Probably should have, Link's getting hairy. And, oh God -- *HORF* musky.
Hit the jump for closeups.
Continue Reading " Mmmm, I'd Eat Him: Windwaker Link Bento "
Jan 20 2009 Admit It, You're Lazy: A Cup Noodle Machine
Why you'd need a vending machine for a product that only requires hot water and three minutes to be ready for consumption is beyond me. Yet, here it is, a Cup Noodle (I always thought it was Cup-O-Noodles) vending machine.
It's small enough to fit on a counter top, and includes a hot water thermos and storage for up to four Cup Noodle bowls with a dispenser. It even has an automatic timer that'll beep when three minutes is up and your food is ready to eat.
Jesus, it's called a microwave, folks. And who else has accidentally eaten part of the styrofoam cup while downing a Cup Noodle all drunk? Go ahead, admit it -- nothing to be ashamed of. HAHA, you freaking ate the cup! To your credit though, I wouldn't trust you with a fork either.
Nissin offers introverts compact cup noodle vending machines [tokyomango]
Thanks to Niki, who stopped eating Ramen in college because she got to look at some under a microscope and it looked too noodley.
Dec 29 2008 Mmmm, Gutsy: A Thorax Cake
Damn that looks delicious. I just want to eat it up. Then slather the leftovers on a naked chick, take some moderately tasteful(!) erotic photographs, and sneak out a window while she cleans up.
The plan was for each organ to be made out of a different kind of cake and to secrete a different color of fluid when it was cut into. Previous heart cakes have bled fresh, homemade raspberry sauce. Sadly, the organs didn't bleed as well as I had hoped when I cut the cake, as each organ was relatively small and couldn't hold much sauce. Also all the moving around after filling the organs made it hard to keep the sauce contained in the little cavities I hollowed out. The heart bled pretty well, but the other organ fluids weren't very dramatic.
Heart - orange cake with raspberry sauce
Lungs - apple spice cake with strawberry sauce
Kidneys - orange cake with blueberry sauce
Stomach - ginger cake with mango sauce
Liver - chocolate cake with kiwi sauce
Small Intestine - jelly roll with red currant jelly
My God does that sound good. And I'm not even a big fan of purification organs. Now pipe organs -- that's another story. DOOT DOO DOO DOO DOO -- DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT!! Anybody? Phantom of the Opera!
Hit the jump for a ton more of the construction and final product.
Sep 16 2008 It's About Time: Anti-Theft Lunch Bags
There's nothing worse than nagging your mommy to pack you a really good lunch only to have it stolen by some dick of a coworker. Enter the Anti-Theft Lunch bag, a Zip-Lock with moldy looking splotches printed on both sides. Created by designer Sherwood Forlee, you can email him to be notified when the bags become available for sale. Or, I dunno, make your own. Another option is to just bring two lunches so if somebody eats one you've still got a backup.
UPDATE: Who the hell steals two lunches?
Hit the jump to see what a sandwich looks like inside. Spoiler: Moldy.
Sep 3 2008 Say No To Carpal Tunnel: Bloody Stump Wrist Rests Perfect For Halloween, Zombie Decoys
Worried about developing carpal tunnel? Get a job where you don't have to type. But for the rest of us, there are wrist rests. This $15 set includes one hand and foot and is sure to get a rise out of undead coworkers. Of course, if you actually do work with zombies you should probably chop their heads off before they eat your brain. As a matter of fact, The Superficial Writer and I had to take a fire axe to the secretary just this afternoon when we caught her eating an arm.
UPDATE: Haha, it was a meatball sub. I swear, that marinara can be deceiving. Well, long story short, we called the coppers and blamed it on The Iwatchstuff Writer.
Hit the jump for a few more pictures of the gore.
Aug 15 2008 Mmmmm, Gamey: The NES Lunchbox
So somebody made an Instructable about how to turn a NES into a lunchbox. I can't imagine it's all that difficult, but the last time I tried to mod anything I ended up with a nipple infection. Hey, piercing looked easy. So yeah, make your own NES lunchbox. Or, if you give me a few hours, I'll make a PS3 lunchbox and post an Instructable.
UPDATE: Shit, I think I voided the warranty.
NES Lunchbox [albotas]
Jul 2 2008 For The Plushie Trifecta: Plush Guts
First it was particle plushies, followed by microbe plushies, and now, for the win and trifecta, come plush guts. Each organ is about 6"-8" in size and run between $16-$20 (except for the limited edition heart of gold, that one will set you back $30). I personally just bought a backup liver and uterus but was disappointed to find they don't sell my favorite organ. You do know the one I'm talking about, don't you? The spleen, how can they not sell the spleen?
Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures of different organs, including the coveted heart of gold.
Jun 5 2008 'Modern Toilet' Restaurant Sounds Awesome
As a man who frequently blogs and eats his lunch on the john, I know all about the benefits of canning your food (!). And now there's a restaurant in Taiwan that is cashing in on what I've known for years -- eating on the throne is the shit (!).
Patrons sit on toilets for seats and eat food off covered sinks and bathtubs. The food is served in a mini-toilet bowls and patrons drink out of mini travel potties. To finish the atmosphere, toilet paper is provided in the place of napkins.
"It's really unusual, so special that it doesn't gross me out," said Betty Tsai, 16, a Taipei high school sophomore trying Modern Toilet for the first time on a friend's recommendation.But for a few customers, the toilet humor is too much. "My son thought it was disgusting and didn't know if he could finish his food," said Taipei mother Lin Li-ju.
Wow, Lin Li-ju, it sounds like your son has a problem. Namely that he was born with a vagina and doesn't know how to appreciate the finer things in life. Seriously, if I had one of those oldschool TV-dinner stands I don't think I'd ever leave the bathroom. So yeah, I once saw a little kid at Home Depot urinate in one of the unplumbed toilets they had on display. I wonder if they have similar problems here. Well, my legs are going numb, time to get up.
Several more pictures and a video news report about the place, after the jump.
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Jun 2 2008 Geek Side Is The Best Side: Geek Gang Signs
Here are some geek gang signs that some nerds came up with when they were working on a secret handshake. As you can see, they're pretty questionable. But not nearly as questionable as the leftover red beans and rice I just had for lunch. Half the beans jumped out of the bowl and tried to stab me with my own fork while the rice just sat there and watched. Long story short: I had to go hungry, which sucks because all I had for breakfast were two hits of paper and four bonghits.
Geek Gang Signs [accordianguy]
Thanks Shawn, now lets come up with a super-sweet Geekologie handshake. Got any ideas?
Apr 16 2008
Album Cover Bento Looks Good, I'd Hit Eat It
Just a couple weeks ago we had some good looking Mario themed bento on the site, and now I think it's time to show you these album cover inspired dishes. Pretty good looking, huh? I thought so. The Rage one was made with "egg, paprika, nori (seaweed sheet), kamaboko (fish sausage), carrot, potato, ham, black sesame, and rice." Jimi was made much simpler, with just nori, paprika (red & orange), egg, and rice. I'd eat them. No, I'd eat the hell out of them. And I'm not just saying that because I fell down the basement stairs (breaking my back) and have been lying here in a heap at the bottom ever since. But I have been, and my girlfriend hasn't come over in two days. Not that she can cook worth a damn anyways, but I'm not too proud for frozen Eggos. Or medical attention.
Click the jump for several more, (including some Weezer, Kiss, and King Crimson) along with a link to the website with TONS more.
Continue Reading "
Album Cover Bento Looks Good, I'd Hit Eat It
"
Mar 26 2008 Questionable: Tactile Feedback iPhone Thing
My Touch Keys are little static-cling cutouts you put on top of your iPhone's screen. They're supposed to help you hit the non-physical keys easier and provide tactile feedback when you're typing. Allegedly you can interact through the screen, so it won't affect the rest of the display's usability. They cost $8 for two so if you have monster sausage fingers like my girlfriend you may want to consider giving them a go. Of course she doesn't have an iPhone so it's not a problem. Or any phone for that matter. She doesn't need one because she doesn't have any friends, and if I need her I just yell. Don't worry folks, she knows I'm just pulling her chain. Literally, the one that keeps her tethered to the stove. Now go ahead and put my frozen pizza in the oven, honey.
my touch keys add tactile feedback to iphone, sorta. [technabob]
Feb 27 2008 Optical Illusion Made Me Lose My Lunch
WARNING:LOOK AWAY OR SCROLL DOWN IF YOU'RE GETTING SICK OR HAVING A SEIZURE.
Walter Anthony creates optical illusions. The one there in the picture is called The Purple Nurple Optical Illusion and it made me puke up a grilled cheese sandwich, some southern style potato salad, two eggs, and a cup of tomato soup.
Anomalous Motion Optical Illusion aka Peripheral Drift Optical Illusion is characterized by anomalous motion that can be observed in peripheral vision. […]Keep in mind that this is a static image. It is not animated in any way. but as your vision moves back and forth the center area seems to be moving toward the center (contracting) and the outer edges seem to be moving away (expanding) from the center. Also worth noting is that if you fixate on a point in the center and don’t move your eyes this anomalous motion will stop.
Wow, it's like I'm 14 again and I just took a couple hits of wicked acid. Except my friends haven't all run away and left me in the middle of the woods to bug out alone and cry for eight hours straight. And let me tell you one thing -- if you think tree spirits and forest gnomes are make believe, you're entirely correct. Or at least they don't come to the rescue when a gang of ogres beats you up for your pants and the whereabouts of some fairy princess.
Walt Anthony
via
The Purple Nurple Optical Illusion [neatorama]
Sep 6 2007 Keep Your Fruit Fresh And Unblemished
I can tell you want one already, even without being entirely sure what it is. Well that's understandable, I was the same way when I first saw it. Introducing the Banana Guard! It keeps your favorite taser shaped fruit safe and unbruised on your way to work or school. They cost $6, and are available in a variety of colors, with glow in the dark coming out soon. What better way to look cool and let people know you care about fruit than rocking the Banana Guard. Excuse me sir, is that a Banana Guard in your pocket? Hell no lady, that's my penis. I ate my unbruised banana for lunch. Thanks Banana Guard!
One more of the benefits of the product after the jump.
