Nov 11 2009 Don't Touch My String Cheese!: Fridge Locker
The Fridge Locker is a little lockbox that you put in the fridge to keep your broke-ass roommate from eating all your string cheese and pudding packs. I need one. No, make that two. I have lots of pudding and I like it cooooold.
The metal combination lock keeps your food safe from "Refrig-A Raiders" (poor joke courtesy of the manufacturer). It measures 7.5" wide, 7.5" tall and 11" deep. At $20, it could easily pay for itself with all of the food it keeps safe. Granted, your roommate will not take kindly to seeing this. Purchase and install at your own risk.
Knowing my roommate, that bastard would probably pull this thing out and set it on the radiator just to spoil all my food and spite me. Yeah, he's a jerk. He's also my alter ego. Shut up! NO YOU SHUT UP! Let me type the last sentence. No, you type too slow. Ow he's biting my fingers! I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE CROTCH!!
Fridge Locker Keeps Your Food Safe [ohgizmo]
Nov 4 2009 I Want One!: A Secret Knock Door Lock
Holy shit, it's a PVC pipe bomb! No, not really. It's the Knock Lock, a homebrew door lock that will only release the deadbolt if you perform the secret knock. Cooooool -- I want one for my clubhouse!
A microphone (okay, really a speaker) presses against the door and listens for knocks. If it hears the right number of knocks in the right cadence it triggers the motor to turn the deadbolt and unlock the door. If the sequence isn't recognized, the system resets and listens for knocks again.
There's a very worthwhile video after the jump of the lock in action. The only problem is every time you perform a knock your neighbors learn how to gain access to your apartment. Still, neat idea. But I'll just stick with my tried and true knock: KICK IN THE DOOR, WAVIN' THE FOUR-FOUR, ALL YOU HEARD WAS GW DON'T HIT ME NO MORE!! I'm serious, don't make me pistol-whip you.
Hit the jump for another shot and the video.
Jul 13 2009 Why Didn't I Think Of That?: Split-Ring-Key
Sometimes it's the simplest things that are best. Like a bacon sandwich on a crisp morning or tricking a dinosaur into thinking another meteor is coming so you can bed it that night. And then there's this keyring. Which is both key AND keyring. What will they think of next?!?
Carry your keys on your other key. Real working key blank. Key blank can be cut by any key cutter to fit KW1 or SC1 keyways.
You can get a 2-pack for $7, which, according to my calculations, makes a 4-pack about $18. What? I NEVER LEARNED THE MATHS, OKAY? But you know what -- YOU DON'T NEED ALGEOMETRY TO KNOW HOW TO BLOG! Or any skills really. Just a drinking problem.
Split Ring Key [amronexperimental]
Thanks to Scott, who actually invented the thing. Nice, now how about a door that is both door AND knob. Oh I'm sorry, did I just blow everybody's minds?
Apr 2 2009 Today's Awesome Failure Award Goes To....
Well, actually, it's a tie. First, a liquor store robber who probably had his mommy drive him there while he finished his juice box.
Police say a 19-year-old who tried to rob a liquor store sat down and cried after 76-year-old owner locked him in the store. The man was accused of trying to rob Sykes Liquor Store in Trenton Monday night. Police said the owner, who was behind the counter, triggered the lock after the man grabbed a bottle of Hennessy cognac and bolted for the door.
The man then allegedly pulled out a handgun and demanded to be released. But the owner said he saw that the gun was a fake, refused to unlock the door and called police.Police said the suspect threw away the gun, slumped to the floor and was crying when officers arrived to arrest him.
Wow, that is both sad and awesome at the same time. Kind of like the first time I had sex, but without the -- oh wait, he was crying. Yep, exactly like that then. Next, an idiotic failure at life who called 911 after "locking" herself in her car.
A woman called Kissimmee police to say she was locked inside her car at the Walgreen's on John Young Parkway near Poinciana.
"My car will not start. I'm locked inside my car," the unidentified woman said. "Nothing electrical works. And it's getting very hot in here, and I'm not feeling well."The dispatcher asked the woman if she was able to manually pull the lock up on the door. The woman said she would try, and then, she said, "Yes, I got the door open."
Can we please get that woman's license revoked? And also, oxygen supply. If only she hadn't gotten reception....damn you, Verizon network!
Man cries after attempt to rob liquor store fails [yahoonews]
and
Woman to 911: Help! I'm locked inside my car [orlandosentinel]
Thanks to Joemo and Jason, who have never cried because when they feel a tear coming they just punch themselves in the eye until it goes away.
May 7 2008 Brightdoor Makes Its Locked Status Obvious
The Brightdoor is green when unlocked, red when locked. Pretty simple, but it's making that girl in the picture glow like the devil. Apparently Lervik Design (the company responsible) first made just handles that lit up. But after realizing you could waste a lot more energy if the whole door glowed, they created this monstrosity. But as ridiculous as it is, I kind of like it. But instead of indicating locked or unlocked, I think it should be enter/do not enter (serving a similar function to the "do not disturb" signs in hotels and the sock you used to hang on your dormroom door in college). And here's why: One time a girlfriend of mine in college was studying for an exam all night, so I decided to go out and get drunk and mack on all the soon-to-graduate chicks at the bars. So I had a good time with the ladies and eventually ended up back at home. And what should happen? My girlfriend, who promised she would be studying all night, decided she was already prepared for the exam and came over to sleep in my bed. I was completely unaware of this. So, lo and behold, she comes over and busts open my bedroom door. And there I was, having sex. With myself. To anime. She screamed and broke up with me right there. And what I learned from the situation is this: I can't believe I just told you all that story.
Brightdoor: Well, the Door is Securely Locked, But I Haven't Slept in Days [gizmodo]
Thanks to Shawn, who once forgot to hang a sock on the door and his roommate walked in on him with four chicks in the bed
Apr 4 2008 Maze Lock Guarantees You'll Perish In A Fire
Is escaping your home in case of an emergency too easy? Need more of a challenge escaping during a fire? How about adding the Defendius Door Chain from Art Lebedev (maker of the Optimus Maximus). As you can see it's a maze. A maze of death. By fire. No word on price or if the damn thing is even real, but if you really want a challenge trying to get out of the house I'm your man. For $30 I'll stand in the doorway attacking you with a can of mace and taser while you try to get by. Slip me an extra fiver and I'll even bat you in the nuts a few times.
UPDATE: Turns out it was a hilarious April Fools joke! AHAHAHAHHA. So funny. *wipes tear* Thanks a lot Jack, you dick.
Defendius door chain [artlebedev]
Thanks to Jack (not the island guy), who can solve mazes and word searches in record time, for the tip
Dec 19 2007 Liquor Lock Protects Your Precious Booze
The Liquor Lock is a little $15 combination lock that's supposed to protect your stash of the good stuff from others. Unfortunately the thing works on the premise of an expanding stopper, which makes me wonder just how safe your booze really is. I do like the idea though, because many a party I've thrown only to find some dick has been sneaking into my hidden bourbon stash. That’s why now I lock all the good stuff in a safe and fill a couple of top-shelf bottles with bleach and hide them in a cabinet. Not only is my bourbon safe, but the jerks who snoop around for the good stuff end up drinking bleach. It's win-win. Me: 1 and very drunk, Thieving bastards: 0 and very dead.
Feb 9 2007 iPod lock protects your iPod
If you're worried about your iPod getting stolen, this is an anti-theft case that locks your iPod to whatever you want. So if you've ever thought to yourself, "Hey, I'd really like to leave my iPod locked to this fence," now you can do it. One more picture after the jump.
