Oct 22 2009 DO NOT WANT (To Pet): Chinese 'Cat Girl'
Normally I love making fun of other people's misfortune, but it's sad when it's a six year old girl. Hopefully this is fake though cause it's coming from The Sun. Although, this IS China we're talking about here, which is notorious for freaky cat shit.
Li Xiaoyuan, from Fengkai in southern China, had a small birthmark on her back just months ago, which has since grown to cover her entire back and parts of her arms and face, The Sun reports.
"None of the other children want to play with her, they are calling her cat-girl and are really mean."A surgeon at Zhaoqing City Dermalogical l Hospital in China's Guangdong province said Li Xiaoyuan may have a rare skin disease that makes normal moles run amok.
I swear, I can't stand it when moles run amok. You know what you need to do? Pour gasoline down all their holes then light that shit. BOOM! Woops -- must have found the gas line. Remember folks: call before you dig.
Chinese 'cat-girl' baffles doctors [ninemsn]
Thanks to Sam, Turtle Boy.
Oct 5 2009 Little Family Moves Into A Computer Case
Not a real one, silly! You'd have to have a freaking giant computer (or tiny family) for that to happen. What is this, the 50's? No, cause sexual harassment didn't exist back then. Back me up, Mad Men. I love you, Don! I thought that latest cigarette ad campaign of yours was absolutely great -- really killer. See what I did there?! Killer -- like cigarettes! Hire me Don, I have to be around you!
Hit the jump for two more shots of the dollcase.
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Jan 16 2009 Oh Wow -- An Even Worse Text-Messager
Remember the story earlier in the week about the girl that sent 14,528 text messages in a month? Well, it turns out she's not the only daughter I'd lock in the basement. Emilee Cox, a 14 year old from Clermont, Florida, sent and received 35,463 texts in a single month. Which, granted, were probably only half actually sent messages. But still, get a life. The best part of the interview:
Haha. Your dad was supposed to email me a picture of you to use. Do you know if he found one?
Uhm idk i think my sister is sending him one.
Got the photos. You are 14, right?
Yes i am.
Wow, even I found that creepy. Anybody else get the feeling the interviewer was at least partially responsible for Willy Wonka's third-quarter earnings?
Full text message interview with Clermont teen who had 35,463 text messages in a month [orlandosentinel]
Thanks to Jessica, who won't return my texts. WHAT'D I DO!?
Sep 2 2008 11-Year Old Girl Field Strips And Reassembles AR-15 Rifle In Less Than A Minute
This is a video of 11-year old Mackenzie disassembling and reassembling an AR-15 in less than a minute. Her father made the video as a PSA to let any middle schoolers out there know that, if you break little Mackenzie's heart, she's gonna murder your whole family.
Once Again, We See That Girls Mature Faster Than Boys [gizmodo]
Aug 4 2008 The Shining: Now With More Robots!
I don't really like scary movies because I pissed myself in the theater during Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and all my friends still make fun of me. But I did happen to see The Shining in my youth. Remember the tricycle scene (if you don't I posted the original after the jump)? Well this is that scene recreated with the only thing that could possibly make it scarier -- robots. Now I'm not gonna say watching it made me pull a Potter here in my cube, but it did. And, uh-oh, I think a little WALL-E might have snuck out as well.
Hit the jump for the original scene from the movie.
Jul 14 2008 How To Win At Claw Machines: The Little Kid Method. Also, A Picture Of My Claw Winnings
We've all heard the stories before: some kid crawls into a claw machine trying to snag a free prize. Until now we just had to read about, but here comes the video! Note to parents: no matter what your paternal instincts are telling you, a claw machine is not a suitable babysitter. Hard to believe, I know.
Hit the jump for a picture I took with my cameraphone a while ago with a bunch of my claw machine winnings laid out (I'm a real catch ladies). Seriously, those are mine, and yes, the bullwhip in front actually came out of a claw machine. It was right next to a slingshot.
May 22 2008 Wii Training Wheel For The Superficial Writer
The Superficial Writer is about as good at Mario Kart Wii as I am at succeeding in life (read: an epic failure). So I thought this little DIY Wii Training Wheel article would be perfect for him. Basically you take a plastic crate, add some bungee cords and a Wii Wheel, and then look like a monster taint whenever you play. Say, wanna race for shots tonight?
Mine gauntlet has been casteth down. Thou shall meeteth me on the interwebs at dusk.
In case you wanted to see someone playing with it, there's a video after the jump.
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Feb 15 2008 Dell Employee Taunts Customer, Calls Him A Little Girl. This May Or May Not Be Real.
This is allegedly an "actual leaked phone conversation" between a customer and Dell sales rep. That authenticity can be debated all you want, but I'm posting it anyways. Mostly because Roberto, the sales rep, calls the customer a little girl -- repeatedly -- because the dude backs out of a sale. Now call me a bit extreme, but I would have reached through that goddamn phoneline and ripped Roberto's windpipe out had this happened to me. I swear, where's Officer Rivieri when you need him?
Purported Call Center Employee Calls Customer "Little Girl" [boingboing]
