Oct 12 2009 Good Ideas: Roofie Detecting Lip Balm
2 Love My Lips is $16 lip gloss that comes with test strips to determine if your drink has been roofied with drugs like GHB or Ketamine. It's a smart idea and I urge everyone to keep a close eye on their beverages at all times (and not just because I'll ninja-drink that shit, but I 100% will).
"If a drink tastes funny, or you are suspicious something is amiss simply dab the ends of the taper in your drink and if they turn blue tell your friends immediately and get help from Security and the Police."
Seriously, roofies are no laughing matter and if you suspect your drink's been spiked I want you to ask me to chug it. BECAUSE I WOULD DO THAT FOR YOU. Knight in shining armor? No, I'm trying to forget that bad.
Aug 5 2009 I WANT TO EAT MY LIPS: Bacon Lip Balm
What do you get when you cross Cheetos lip balm and bacon flavored lube? A BACON-CHEESE ORGY TO REMEMBER, AM I RIGHT? God, I sure hope I'm not. You people are freaks. Anyway, bacon lip balm is exactly what it sounds like: bacon flavored lip balm from the porky purveyors over at J&D. A 4-pack will set you back $13, but it's gonna take a lot more than that to fill you up! I'm a pretty skinny guy and I still ate ten sticks for breakfast. PLUS TWO ROCKS AND SOME DIRT.
Amazon Product Site
via
J&D's Bacon Lip Balm [uncrate]
Thanks to Rémy, Ste, tkuper and PrestickNinja, who are smart enough to know hotdogs aren't really just assholes and lips. There are elbows in there too, you know.
Jul 17 2009 Good Enough To Eat: Cheetos Lip Balm
Cheetos lip balm, it just makes sense. And by sense I mean your lips orange. Now swish some Dew around in your mouth and gimme kissies!
Would You Wear Cheetos Lip Balm? [lemondrop]
Thanks to The webcam in your monocle, who records whatever you see. Including in the shower. Provided you wear your monocle in the shower, which, pfft, who doesn't?
Apr 4 2008 Ergonomic Coffee Mug Fits Your Lips
This is a coffee mug designed with a thin wall at the top that's slightly curved to conform to your lips. Now, you know how much I hate to brag, but I can drink like a grown up and don't have any problems with a regular mug. But if you're one of the people out there that can't manage to drink your morning coffee without spilling all over yourself, I have an alternative solution: Ask your mommy to get you a sippy cup the next time she's at the store picking up your diapers. Oooh, burn!
Jan 28 2008 Sure, Why Not?: Your DNA As Art
DNA 11 is a company that turns your DNA into art. And by “turns your DNA into art” I mean they print it on a piece of canvas. There are a bunch of color options to choose from and prices start at $390 for an 18" x 24" print and go up to $790 for a 36" x 54". You can also get your fingerprints and lips done (both of which you could probably do yourself) if that’s more your scene. I say if you’re going to hang personal information on the wall, you might as well go all the way. So if you're interested I’m starting a business where I take your name, social security number, bank account info, mother's maiden name and, well, steal your identity.
A picture of the fingerprint and lip prints after the jump.
