Sep 14 2009 It Just Makes Sense: Animals With Lightsabers
Animalswithlightsabers.com is a website with a bunch of pictures of animals wielding lightsabers. Because, let's face it: animals and lightsabers go together like waking up and drinking. Or going to bed with a bottle of vodka. It just makes people happy.
Hit the jump for several more of my favorites and another link to the website.
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Aug 14 2009 A Long Time Ago In A Restaurant Far, Far Away: Lightsaber Chopsticks
Why it's taken so long to produce some good looking lightsaber chopsticks is beyond me. I mean, they just make sense. Like wind energy and peeing in the sink, but with a culinary flair. Available in three colors, the $10 sticks are the perfect utensils for devouring tauntaun and Ewok dishes. But don't go trying to eat that shit Yoda fixes on Dagobah! The runs like you're about to be trampled by an AT-AT.
Hit the jump for one more shot of the sabers in hand.
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Jul 27 2009 Eye Candy: Luke Skywalker USB Drive
This is a custom made Luke Skywalker (circa Empire Strikes Back) USB drive. I assume it's painted modeling clay, but honestly it could be made out of unicorn tears for all I know. What an amazing job the artist did though -- such an expressive face. It's like you can hear him screaming, "WHY'D SHE HAVE TO BE MY SISTER!?!"
Hit the jump for several more shots of the expressiveness.
Jul 21 2009 Finish Him!: Little Kid Versus Clone Trooper
This is a video of a unisex little kid beating a clone trooper in the head with a fake lightsaber. It's pretty much the awesomest thing I've seen all day minus my neighbor taking a naked shower with the garden hose. He's hairier than I would have guessed.
Thanks to alex, who once laser blasted a stormtrooper but the beam ricocheted off his armor and now alex has to wear an eyepatch. YAAAR!
Jul 21 2009 Luke, Help Me Find My Keys: The Lightsaber Flashlight
This $25 flashlight is a replica of Darth Vader's lightsaber and sports 4 red LEDs. It's powered by the dark side 3 AAA batteries and is perfect for walking the dog or finding your eyeglasses in a flower bed. It is not perfect for fighting the forces of good. Because the forces of good carry tasers and won't hesitate to use them. TASERED!
Lightsaber flashlight cuts through the darkness [dvice]
Thanks to FDSY, who once brained the forces of evil with a Maglite.
Jul 9 2009 PEW PEW REVIEW: 125mW Green Laser
The folks over at SKYlaser Laser Pointers sent me a 125mW powerful green laser to review. So that's what I did. And let me tell you: there was plenty of pews to be had. That picture I actually made writing with the laser on an 8-foot privacy fence, I just edited the pic of the unit in. Now hit the jump for the pew pew review.
May 29 2009 Geekologie Reader Makes Himself Lightsaber
Geekologie Reader Ike, the same one who successfully played poker on a roller coaster, went and made himself a lightsaber. Although, truthfully, it was modeled after Travis Touchdown's beam katana from No More Heroes. Ike made me promise not to tell you how he made it, but suffice it to say there were lasers and smoke and selling your soul to a sorcerer involved.
Here's a real fun tidbit- with enough money (I think about $600) I could make this sucker burn. That's right! Fully functional lightsaber! It also extends and spins. Woot.
Nice, Ike, I want one. Except mine MUST be of the burning variety. How else am I gonna start a fire while camping -- rubbing two sticks together? Pfft, what do I look like, a cub-scout? I AM ALL MAN-SCOUT! Don't believe me? I've humped bears before. Haha -- admit it, Yogi!
Hit the jump for a couple videos of the saber/katana in action, including one with some Travis Touchdown cosplay.
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May 8 2009 Brotherly Hate: Now With More Lightsaber!
This kid is pure evil -- just look at him. If evil were a Tetris level on Game Boy, this kid would be a 20. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be surprised if, in a few years, I heard he'd brought a lightsaber to school in his backpack.
Thanks to Romeo, who once broke his thumb shooting ping pong balls out of his mouth at his babysitter. Just kidding, that was me.
Apr 17 2009 Scotland Police Department Heavy On Jedis
Strathclyde Police, Scotland's largest police force, says eight of its officers (and two of its civilian staff) listed Jedi as their official religion on voluntary diversity forms, making them the least feared police force ever.
The details were obtained in a Freedom of Information request by Jane's Police Review.
About 390,000 people listed their religion as Jedi in the 2001 Census for England and Wales. In Scotland the figure was a reported 14,000.The Office for National Statistics did not recognise it as a separate category, and incorporated followers of Jedi with atheists.
Wow, do you think the officers mod their billy clubs to look like lightsabers? Because that would be awesome. And by awesome I mean incredibly sad.
Force is strong for Jedi police [bbcnews]
Thanks to Thumperchica, debaser, Liz, Lee, Patrick and Annie, who once Force-choked a thief till he turned to the Dark Side (blacked out).
Apr 9 2009 Two Chicks In A Bar Having A Lightsaber Fight
NOTE: VIDEO IS SLIGHTLY NSFW DUE TO UNDERWEAR.
This is a fake commercial for men's body spray that features two chicks having a lightsaber battle over some tainty dude that smells good. SPOILER: they cut each other's clothes off, making it the best commercial for a fake product EVER. I just ordered like a million cases. Or, I dunno, left my credit card number as a Youtube comment.
Thanks to Dustin, Dallas and CJ, who once saw two chicks have a lightsaber duel while Jello wresting. I know, I should write erotic fiction.
Apr 3 2009 Tuantaun Sleeping Bag Becoming Reality?
As you may recall, ThinkGeek cruelly offered a tauntaun sleeping bag as an April Fool's joke, just to break your heart. Well, because of the overwhelming demand for such a product, Thinkgeek has decided to look into actually having them made.
ATTN Tauntaun Fanatics!
Due to an overwhelming tsunami of requests from YOU THE PEOPLE, we have decided to TRY and bring this to life. We have no clue if the suits at Lucasfilms will grant little ThinkGeek a license, nor do we know how much it would ultimately retail for. But if you are interested in ever owning one of these, click the link below and we'll try!
If you go to the product site you can click on the link that says 'Email me IF available' to be notified if they actually get made. But one thing's for sure: if they're getting made, I'm getting laid (in one). Ever made love inside a tauntaun? It's warm. And squishy.
Thanks to roflbot (who I may still kill despite the tip) and Allison, whose tauntauns could easily make to the second marker before freezing.
Jan 28 2009 Light Saber Umbrellas: Battle Sith Lords, Women And Wetness At The Same Time
These $40 Light Saber Umbrellas are the first to combine the coolness of staying dry when it's raining with the incredible sadness of wielding a nonfunctional lightsaber out in public. That said, I take mine everywhere. Wow, is it just me or is it raining lady-killer in here?*
*It's just me. Come get some, beautiful.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the awesome. Also, when rain hits a lightsaber does it crackle and pop like a bug-zapper? That's what I imagine.
UPDATE: Bladerunner Umbrellas, not Star Wars. What, can you blame a guy for drinking?
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Jan 7 2009 ZOMG: New Toy Teaches You How To Wield 'The Force' Using Brainwaves Or Something
Oh yeah, a toy that teaches you how to utilize 'The Force'. You know, from Star Wars.
The Force Trainer (expected to be priced at $90 to $100) comes with a headset that uses brain waves to allow players to manipulate a sphere within a clear 10-inch-tall training tower, analogous to Yoda and Luke Skywalker's abilities in the Star Wars films.
First of all, being able to manipulate a ping pong ball IS IN NOT WAY analogous to Yoda and Luke Skywalker's abilities -- those dudes could throw freaking spaceships around.
A state of deep concentration is needed to achieve a Force-full effect. "When you concentrate, it activates the training remote," says Frank Adler of toymaker Uncle Milton Industries, which is creating the Trainer. "There is a flow of air that will move the (ball). You can actually feel like you are in a zone."
Deep concentration....in a zone....hmmm, that sounds familiar. Of course -- Skee-ball!
Toy trains 'Star Wars' fans to use The Force [usatoday]
Thanks to Menchi, who promises to teach me The Force just as soon as she masters it.
Dec 30 2008 Using The Force: Lightsaber Nunchucks
Nice try buddy, but you're no Star Wars kid.
Thanks to Andy, who once beat Bruce Lee at nunchuck ping pong.
Dec 16 2008 Luke Skywalker's Lightsaber Sells At Auction
The lightsaber (which was made from part of a photography flashgun) that Mark Hamill swung around like the Star Wars Kid in A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back recently sold at auction for a cool £133,000 (~$206,000). Some other stuff from the movies sold as well, but for less dough.
An original section of the Death Star from the first 1977 movie also fetched £13,300 and C-3PO's helmet and robotic hands worn by British actor Anthony Daniels in the 1983 hit Star Wars: Return of the Jedi sold for £66,444 and £20,000 respectively.
I wish I had $200,000 bones to blow on movie props, because I would have bought that damn lightsaber. Then traded it for a truckload of hookers. And that, at least according to my grandpappy, is living the good life.
Use the profit, Luke! Lightsaber used by Luke Skywalker in Star Wars sold for £133,000 [dailymail]
Thanks to Ska, who once traded a Federation blaster for a night with an Ewok.
Sep 12 2008 UK University Offering Course In Jedi
Queen's University Belfast in Northern Ireland is offering a course in Jedi this semester.
According to its publicity material, the course, Feel the Force: How to Train in the Jedi Way, teaches the real-life psychological techniques behind Jedi mind tricks.
It also claims to examine the wider issues behind the Star Wars universe, like balance, destiny, dualism, fatherhood and fascism. The course will provide students with the fundamental building blocks they'll need to succeed in careers like never having sex.
Sign me up!
Bring your own light sabre: Uni launches Jedi course [abc]
Thanks to Miriam, who actually trained the very first Jedi.
Sep 8 2008 Questionable, But I'd Still Buy Some And Wear Them Around The House: Star Wars Condoms
If you can't tell from the picture, these are knock-off Star Wars jimmy jackets, cleverly named Star Condoms. Apparently they were purchased somewhere in Asia and, HELLO, I'm wearing one. "A long time ago in a galaxy for, for away..." Awesome. Just a heads up though: don't buy condoms with misspellings on the box, it indicates poor quality control. Seriously, the one I'm wearing doesn't even have a tip. Hmm, I hope I don't catch anything from this keyboard.
Star Wars Condoms [theswca]
Thanks to Toni, who I think will agree with me when I say that the only good sex is safe sex. With dinosaurs. Oh shit, and ninjas.
Aug 28 2008 These Hilarious Star Wars T-Shirts Are Sure To Get Fangirls To Touch Your Saber
Just kidding. I do like them though. This one here, the Jedi EcoSaber is available in 22 different colors and costs $26 or $29 depending on if you want long sleeves or not. Hit the jump for another one with a crashed TIE Fighter Advanced x1 and Darth Vader escaping on an inflatable slide, possibly into a Dagobah swamp. Although I don't see Luke running around with that creepy green puppet on his back, so who knows.
Hit it to see the other.
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Jul 9 2008 The Jedi Gym Is Awesome, How Do I Join?
Kind of like the Jedi Academy, comes the Jedi Gym. The video is six minutes long, but actually is worth watching if/when you have the time. Mainly for the guy playing Lando Calrissian (that's him in the still) and the awesome plot twist around 4:00. Now I don't want to ruin anything, but let's just say it was pleasantly unexpected. Kind of like the time I walked in on my girlfriend with another chick. Now I know what you're wondering, and no, I was sadly not invited to participate. I was asked to leave and shut the door behind me. And that, my friends, is the story of how I was almost happy once.
Thanks Brennan, that's just what I needed after the last few traumatizing Star Wars videos
Jun 18 2008 Gnar Wars: A Star Wars Snowboarding Video
Gnar Wars is a Star Wars themed snowboarding video. It features lightsaber battles, Boba Fett getting his dome piece chopped off, and even some wily Jawa bastards. It's worth a view. But not the repeated viewing that my Star Wars themed sports video deserves. It's called Par Wars , and it's golf themed! It mostly consists of a buddy and I waving around 7-iron urinesabers and trying to douse each other with the contents. We're a class act. The must see finale even features the destruction of the Death Bar (the name we gave the clubhouse bar after they refused to serve us anymore). We flew an X-Wing Fighter (golf cart) straight through that bitch and shot proton torpedoes (golf balls) at the main reactor (bartender). KA-BOOM!
Star Wars Snowboarding [/film]
Thanks Shawn, now if you'll excuse me I'm off to shred some gnarly pow-pow (that's code for do drugs).
