Aug 3 2009 It's About Time: Attaching Lasers To Airplanes

Applied Electronics, a company we last saw developing lightning guns, has now been handed a big ass check by the gubment to start strapping lasers to planes. And, I, for one, am all about it. NEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOW -- pew pew!

the Navy and the Marines have given a company called Applied Electronics about a million dollars to attach lasers onto planes. The weapons would be ultra-short-pulse (USP) lasers, which shoot beams of frequent-pulse light that create a path through the air, via which bolts of electricity can travel toward a target.

Okay, I have no idea what all that meant, but I'm pretty sure Zeus just popped like 16 electric boners.

Company Last Seen Making Lightning Guns Is Now Attaching Lasers To Planes [popsci]

Thanks to Mih0, who, for two tips in a row, gets to yell "lightning bolt!" and hit me in face with a foam dart.

Jun 13 2009 Meat Hero: Man Gets Struck By Lightning While BBQing, Only Utters 'Sausages'

Eric Brocklebank, 64, got struck by lightning while manning the barbecue. And what did he have to say about it? Sausages.

"It was like an implosion inside my body."

"There was so much pressure inside of me and I couldn't see properly. I could just make out the faint outline of people heading my way."

It came in through my arm, which is burnt, then it must have gone down through my body and out through my feet."

He added: "I was told the only thing I could say as I was drifting in and out of consciousness was 'sausages'."

Somebody get this man an award. Not only does he brave the elements to cook some delicious meat, but he gets struck by lightning and SOMEHOW KEEPS HIS BURNT EYES ON THE SAUSAGE-Y PRIZE. My God they must have been delicious.

Lightning bolt heats up BBQ [thesun]

Thanks to Vask, who nominates Eric for a 2009 Wiener Award.

Apr 10 2009 BA-BOOSH!: More Volcano Lightning Action

I don't actually know if that's the sound volcano lightning makes, but for the sake of my journalistic integrity, let's run with it.

When Alaska's Mount Redoubt volcano began rumbling back to life in January, a team of researchers scrambled to set up a system called a Lightning Mapping Array that would be able to peer through the dust and gas of any eruption that occurred to the lightning storm happening within. Lightning is known to flash in the tumultuous clouds belched out during volcanic eruptions.

The lightning produced when Redoubt finally erupted on March 22 was "prolific," said physicist Paul Krehbiel of New Mexico Tech.

Cool. Not as dramatic as last year's Chaitén volcano eruption, but this one does have a smiley face in the lightning. Can you see it? It's there on the right. Kind of looks like a giant monkey head....
....
....
THEY'VE FOUND MONKEY ISLAND!

Dramatic Image Shows Volcano's Lightning [livescience]

Thanks to Watch, who once punched a cloud in the face and made it cry rain. True story.

Mar 18 2009 Imperial March Tesla Coil And Faraday Suit

This is some guy testing his new Faraday suit with a Tesla coil playing the Imperial March. It looks like fun. And by fun I mean this guy is nuts. I don't care how harmless it is, you just don't go messing around with something that looks that much like lightning. Reminds me of the time I accidentally broke one of those plasma lamps at Spencer's Gifts. You know what happened? An electric plasma ball escaped and blew up the food court. Also, it told me to look under a dressing room door at Victoria's Secret. True story.

Youtube

Thanks to JAG and Martyn, who have both beat Zeus in an arm-wrestling match and then called him a sissy and struck him with a bolt of his own lightning. Hardcore to power of Mount Olympus!

Feb 4 2009 Lightning Hits Cow, Cow Lives To Moo About It

The cow featured here, who we will refer to as "Well Done", was struck by lightning and lived to chew grass and moo about it, which is apparently rare.

When lightning hits the ground, current flows through the earth in a wide area around the point of impact. This is how a lightning strike can kill a field full of cows - the long wheelbase of the average cow means that a nearby strike induces a significant potential difference across the ground spanned by the cow's front and back legs; current flows through cow, cow dies.

For those of you who aren't science-minded, let me break that down in layman's terms: basically lightning strikes a cow, and makes it delicious. I smell barbecue! Or a cow on fire, same difference.

The path lightning takes through a cow [tywkiwdbi]

Thanks to towhee monster, who attracts lightning like she does men -- with witchcraft.

Dec 8 2008 Will You Marry Me?: Another Pokeman Fanatic

As many of you probably don't know because I'm just now making it up, I love Pokemon. Pikachu, that lovable little electric turd, really does something to me. Something deep down in my heart, near the cockles. And I just found out I'm not the only one! That's right, this crazy chick is even more Pokemontastic than yours truly. And that's saying a lot (reference legally changing name and having sex with a stuffed animal). Just check out all that crap! That's a lot of crap! Hit the link to see even more, including a decked out Pokemon car! WTF! Amazingly, this woman can probably still have sex in that room, so why can't I? I show a girl my bedroom (aka Pikachu's Pleasure Dome) and she's running for the door almost as soon as the Pokemon theme starts playing. Can somebody say double standard? And also, double bed. Just saying, Pikachu sheets. Ladies?

Hit the jump for more of what even weekly meetings can't help.

Continue Reading " Will You Marry Me?: Another Pokeman Fanatic "

Aug 8 2008 Eye Candy: Lightning Strike In Slow Motion