Mar 5 2009 Blind Man Sees The Light With Bionic Eye

Ron is a 73-year old who went blind 30 years ago due to mysterious circumstances (the article didn't say). He hasn't been able to see anything since. I'm talking nothing. Pure blackness. But now, thanks to bionic eye surgery, he can finally see the light (again). Did somebody say laser vision? PEW PEW!

It uses a camera and video processor mounted on sunglasses to send captured images wirelessly to a tiny receiver on the outside of the eye. In turn, the receiver passes on the data via a tiny cable to an array of electrodes which sit on the retina - the layer of specialised cells that normally respond to light found at the back of the eye.

When these electrodes are stimulated they send messages along the optic nerve to the brain, which is able to perceive patterns of light and dark spots corresponding to which electrodes have been stimulated.

He says he can now follow white lines on the road, and even sort socks, using the bionic eye, known as Argus II.

Whoa whoa whoa -- let's slow down a minute. I'm all for bionic eyes, but don't you think it's a little early to be out on the road? Just saying. Quick Ron, how many fingers am I holding up? *POW* -- a fistful! Ron, can you see me? Ron? Uh-oh. Bionic eyes aren't expensive, are they? Looks like he might need a nose too.

Bionic eye gives blind man sight [bbcnews]

Thanks to Mal, who can see you through the internet. Mal, now describe to me what the ladies are wearing.

Feb 23 2009 Boy Born With Cat Eyes, Can See In The Dark

Nong Youhui is a Chinese boy who was born with cat eyes that glow in the dark and enable him to see like a cat in the night (possibly as a result of nuclear waste). He can allegedly see as well in the dark as you can in the light. Except -- WICKA-POW! -- now you can't see shit because your eyes are swollen shut. I warned you, don't look at me funny! Okay, so I forgot to warn you, but still, you should know better.

Dad Ling said: "They told me he would grow out of it and that his eyes would stop glowing and turn black like most Chinese people but they never did."

Experts believe he was born with a rare condition called leukodermia which has left his eyes with less protective pigment and more sensitive to light.

Man, I want leukodermia. So what if I can't go out in the daylight, I don't anyways. But at least when I'll be able to see if the toilet seat's down at night. Am I right ladies? I pee sitting down too!

Cat-boy can see in the dark [thesun]

Thanks to Boing, who doesn't need cat-eyes to see you while you sleep because he's standing over you with night-vision goggles.

Feb 29 2008 Joke Sound Boxes Are Highly Questionable

Remember when the electronic whoopee cushion came out? How hilarious was that? It wasn't was it? No, it sure wasn't. Well following in the footsteps come these Prankster Sound Boxes. They're $10 light sensitive boxes that begin making their annoying sound when it's dark. You can choose from dripping water or barking dog. You know, this reminds me of the office prank I pulled a few weeks ago. What I did was fill the metal tube on my coworker's desk chair with raw shrimp. Slowly they started rotting and he couldn't figure out where the smell was coming from! It was hilarious until he figured it out. I wish you could have seen the look on his face when he finally finished beating the shit out of me. Priceless.

Annoying Light Sensitive Sound Box [7gadgets]