Jan 31 2009 This Is What A Billion Dollars Looks Like
Get a good look folks, because you're sure as hell never gonna see it in real life.
One Billion Dollar is stacked on 12 standard pallets, altogether 10 million 100 USD notes. One Billion Dollar is not so much about what you see but what you could do or not do with the money. Besides, this is the most expensive piece of art ever made.
Haha, that's not art, that's somebody robbed a bank. And speaking of which....
UPDATE: Damnit, wrong bank. Oh well -- anybody looking to get pregnant?
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures and another piece of art by the same artist (Michael Marcovici) that depicts an average life in bags of Rolex sand.
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Jan 28 2009 Fail: A Lesson In How Not To Kill Yourself
If you want to kill yourself by driving your beautifully rusting 1987 Dodge van off a cliff, make sure you catch enough air to not end up teetering on the edge of a precipice.
34-year-old Daniel J. Lyons and his sweet 1987 Dodge van bounced down the rocky side of the canyon at Colorado National Monument park this past Wednesday only to be brought to an abrupt halt by an outcropping. Rescue workers found him teetering over the 170-foot drop. Eventually, a litter was lowered over the edge and Lyons was pulled to safety.
Lyons is adamant the incident was an accident, but investigators couldn't find any skid marks or other signs of mishap, indicating this was, in fact, likely a suicide attempt. The van will remain perched on the cliff below Rim Rock Drive until authorities find a way to remove it or gravity has its way.
Jesus, I can think of a lot better ways to go than driving a perfectly good van off a cliff. Including, and currently limited to: mailing yourself. To the sun.
Hit the jump for a couple more amazing pictures.
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Jan 5 2009 Little Jellyfish Cheats Death, Death Is Pissed
So apparently there's this little jellyfish creature (Turritopsis nutricula, a form of hydrozoa) that doesn't ever die. Biology is beyond me, so I'll let somebody else do the talking while I make a sandwich have a sandwich made for me.
What these little folks do is they revert completely to a sexually immature, colonial stage after they reach sexual maturity. They're even cooler than that. When they're young they've got only several tentacles, but at a mature stage, they get to 80-90 of them.
They're able to return to polyp stage due to a cell change in the external screen (Exumbrella), which allows them to bypass death. As far as scientists have been able to find out, this change renders the hydrozoa virtually immortal.
Did that make any sense? I didnt' bother reading it, but I think it had something to do with being able to regenerate your arm like a starfish. *sawing through bone*
UPDATE: Um, so does anybody have the number for Luke Skywalker's doctor?
Meet the world's only immortal animal [zmescience]
Thanks to Emile, who only wants to live long enough to see a hovercar.
Aug 5 2008 Presidential Candidates Get Own Comics
Barack Obama and that other presidential candidate whose face looks like a gnarled tree trunk (EDIT: Wrong John -- I was thinking Kerry, this guy is actually McCain) will star in their own comics made by IDW Publishing, a San Diego comic book company.
Don't expect Captain America-versus-Superman hijinks or super-villains threatening the electoral process. Trading sound bites for word balloons, the books purport to tell McCain and Obama's life stories, independently researched and illustrated by a veteran team of writers and artists."We're not doing anything that is sensational here," said IDW special projects editor Scott Dunbier, adding that neither campaign was involved in the development of the books. "We're sticking to the facts."
Wow, these are gonna be the boringest comics ever. Sure McCain spent five years as a POW in North Vietnam, but that's about the only riveting detail. At least give the man a cape and anti-aging serum.
NOTE: The Geekologie Writer does not endorse political candidates. Political candidates endorse him!
McCain: The Geekologie Writer is great. He's made me shoot Diet Pepsi Zero out my nose and shit my pants at the same time before. Also, ladies, topless photos are the only way to the man's heart.
Obama: The Geekologie Writer once told me a dirty joke. It was funny. I can't remember exactly how it went, something about a penis walking into a bar. Hilarious.
McCain, Obama to star in their own comic books [msnbc]
Thanks to Emma for being a Wonder Woman.
Jul 9 2008 I Want: Bubble Wrap Calendar Is Popsome
The Bubble Calendar is a poster-sized calendar with a bubble to pop every day. They're available in vertical and horizontal models and measure 48" x 17.5" (or 17.5" x 48"!). The printed on paper version will set you back $30, but if you want it on a high quality plastic backing you'll have to pop $50. I think I want one, the only problem is I have no self control. The entire calendar would probably last a week. Now a condom calendar -- that'd last a while. And not because I live dangerously, but because I've never seen a vagina. Unless that blurry one I think I saw on the scrambled porno channel counts. Which, let's be honest, totally should. Haha, virgin no more!
Thanks Brendan, I rented a Moon Bounce for my party this weekend if you want to come over and try to pop it.
Apr 17 2008 I Want: Dangerous House Keeps You Young
The Lifespan Extending Villa is a house designed by artists Madeline Gins (!) and Arakawa. It was built in East Hampton, and cost about $2 million to complete. It looks like a giant playground, and I want it. The idea is that constantly being on guard against falling serves as a secret fountain of youth.
In addition to the floor, which threatens to send the un-sure-footed hurtling into the sunken kitchen at the center of the house, the design features walls painted, somewhat disorientingly, in about 40 colors; multiple levels meant to induce the sensation of being in two spaces at once; windows at varying heights; oddly angled light switches and outlets; and an open flow of traffic, unhindered by interior doors or their adjunct, privacy.
All of it is meant to keep the occupants on guard. Comfort, the thinking goes, is a precursor to death; the house is meant to lead its users into a perpetually "tentative" relationship with their surroundings, and thereby keep them young.
Man that is so awesome. I've always wanted to live in a treehouse with rope swings and cargo nets and all that good shit, so this is definitely a step in the right direction. Besides, the house makes you live longer. You just trip over a floor nipple, beat your face into something hard, and presto, you're freaking Methuselah. Simple as that.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the wackiness, including one of James trying to escape the giant peach.
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Mar 13 2008 Clock Runs Slow, Measures Time In Years
The Life Clock, by Betrand Planes, runs at 1/61,320 the speed of a regular clock. It measures time in years, with each number representing (in my case) 7 long years you've pissed away with a woman that makes you miserable. Not that it matters, because I doubt I'll even make it halfway around the damn thing. Hell, I may not even make it through the night if my girlfriend comes home and reads what I write about her online. Luckily I convinced her I work as a refrigerator repairman. Ha, she's so stupid she'll fall for anything. Oh, hi honey! Home early aren't you? Me? Slow day, no repairs this afternoon. Yeah, I'm just updating my Facebook page. You know, making sure it says I'm in a loving relationship with the woman of my dreams and all. She totally believes me, so gullible. Holy shit, you own a gun? Whoa, whoa let's be rational he--
UPDATE: Blonde female looking for a relationship. Recently (and violently) ended a 7-year run with a freaking loser that was blogging about me behind my back. He, in case you didn't know, had a Tic-Tac sized penis (despite what he may have told you). I'm tired of the guys everyone is talking about on the dating site famousrichguys.com and want a real man. Any takers have to help me bury a body first.
lifetime clock slows time to a crawl [technabob]
