May 1 2009 DIY: How To Get Out Of Jury Duty (Sort Of)
Erik Slye (he is too), 36, of Gallatin County, Monatana really, really, REALLY didn't want to serve on a jury after being summoned for duty. So what did he do? Wrote a nasty letter. His affidavit to the court follows, in case you can't read it in the picture.
Apparently you morons didn't understand me the first time. I CANNOT take time off from work. I'm not putting my family's well being at stake to participate in this crap. I don't believe in our "justice" system and I don't want to have a goddam thing to do with it. Jury duty is a complete waste of time. I would rather count the wrinkles on my dogs balls than sit on a jury. Get it through your thick skulls. Leave me the F--k alone.
Way to hero it up, Erik. "The document, of course, did not sit well with court officials and led a judge to threaten to jail Slye. But after being summoned to court, Slye apologized for the affidavit and avoided being cited on a criminal failure to appear rap. And he also was excused from serving on a jury." Wow. So I guess sometimes writing a nasty letter really does work. Oh, and Erik -- neuter the dog, bro.
New Wrinkle On Avoiding Jury Duty [thesmokinggun]
Thanks to The Jerk and Joemo, who found jury duty a great time to peruse the Geekologie archives.
Oct 1 2008 Apple Threatens To Close iTunes Store
Apple is threatening to close the iTunes store over a possible royalty hike.
The National Music Publishers' Association, which represents the interests of music makers and songwriters in the U.S., wants rates to be increased 9 cents to 15 cents, which represents a 66 percent rise.
"If [iTunes] was forced to absorb any increase in the ... royalty rate, the result would be to significantly increase the likelihood of the store operating at a financial loss -- which is no alternative at all," iTunes vice president Eddy Cue said.
ZOMG, I'm gonna have to start downloading music illegally again.
Apple Threatens to Close iTunes Store Over Royalties [foxnews]
Thanks to Bryan, who once downloaded a song illegally but then felt bad about it and gave a streetcorner musician a dollar.
Jul 24 2008 ZombieHarmony: The Zombie Of Your Dreams Is Only A Click Away
Still looking for that special someone zombie? Well look no further than ZombieHarmony, an online dating service for the undead. ZombieHarmony...because the apocalypse doesn't have to be lonely. But don't go trying to use the site if you haven't been infected.
Disclaimer: ZombieHarmony is for zombies only. We advise signing up for ZombieHarmony only if you lack a pulse, have limited motor skills, or feel an intense desire to feast on human beings. We are not responsible for lost or ingested loved ones. If you go on a date with a zombie, we cannot be held liable for contributing to the apocalypse.
Please date responsibly: bring a baseball bat or crowbar.
Despite the warning, I used the site anyways and think I found the zombie of my dreams, her name is LimblessLisa, and she's gorgeous in a corspy kinda way. Just kidding, I don't think the site really works, it's just a fun looking frontpage. Sorry to let you down, sickos. But seriously, if you want to date an undead bitch with a taste for blood my ex-girlfriend's number is (XXX) XXX-XXXX.
UPDATE: Had to remove the number. Haha, I'm being sued!
Thanks to Alex, Julian, and Shawn, all of whom used the website to score some zombie brain.
