Jun 29 2009 I'm In Love
I have never felt feelings like this before. Marry me?
Hit the jump for a couple more of the before and after.
Jun 3 2009 Just Doing My Job: 2009 Pole Dancing Contest
NOTE: Probably NSFW just because most employers frown on videos of dancers working the pole, but there is no nudity or even thongs, so yeah, use your own discretion (read: push play).
No need to thank me folks, just doing my job. Also, I saw things happen in this video that I didn't think were humanly possible (mostly towards the end). Beautiful things. Think a family of unicorns cresting a double rainbow on the first day of spring, but then replace that with a stripper throwing her hooha around a pole and you've got it.
Thanks to Party Kid Transformer and Julia, who can perform all these stunts without the pole because they're both powerful sorcerers.
May 23 2009 Uh-Oh: Parents Catching On To Text Talk
Can you believe it? Parents are actually breaking the code of "secret" text speak that teenagers use to talk dirty to one another and make plans to *gasp* smoke the marijuana.
Ever wondered what the secret codes that teenagers are bashing out on mobile phones and computers mean?Well, wonder no more.
A list of the top 50 acronyms that every parent should know has been compiled and posted onto the internet, MyFox Atlanta reports.
According to the list, a "Code 9" or "CD9" means that parents are nearby.
The words "I love you" can often be difficult for people to say, but the latest way around is by simplifying the phrase to "143".
143 -- really? I'm pretty sure people have has been using that since before Shakespeare. I mean, I used to use that shit in grade school when we only had pagers. Damn yeah I sold drugs!
Hit the jump for the top 50 "must know" phrases.
Continue Reading " Uh-Oh: Parents Catching On To Text Talk "
May 3 2009 Zombie Defense Training For Little Kids
This is a video of some little Japanese kids being trained to fight zombies. And let me tell you -- they are cute as little buttons. Remember folks, teach your kids how to properly protect themselves against attacks from the undead. Because otherwise you're gonna have to explain to your parents how a zombie ate their grandchild. And they will be pissed.
Thanks to Shun, whose children are all comfortable wielding sawed-off shotguns.
Jan 21 2009 FastSkinz: Improve Your Gas Mileage And Achieve That Coveted Golf Ball Look
Let's face it, we all want our cars to look more like golf balls. But what's a guy to do? Simple, have FastSkinz applied! Fastskinz look dimply and also improve your vehicle's gas mileage. Now I don't really want to go into details (I'll leave that for the quote), but I think it has something to do with dimples being super-cute and a highly desirable characteristic in a mate.
Long ago, golf ball manufacturers discovered that a dimpled surface would help a ball to fly farther through the air with less drag, so why not apply the same thinking to cars? The dimples reduce the wake turbulence caused by early separation of the boundary layer...The company claims an 18-20 percent improvement in gas mileage, although independent testing is still needed.
I didn't bother reading that, but I'm pretty confident I was right: golf balls have dimples and require almost no gas, so it only makes sense that a dimply car shouldn't either. Damn, I really am the L337 science guy. F*** you, Bill Nye!
FastSkinz claims to improve your car's mileage using golf ball technology [dvice]
Sep 15 2008 Uh-Oh: Large Hadron Collider Hacked, Countdown To Destruction Initiated !!
Last week a group of hackers busted all up in the Large Hadron Collider's network and did stuff. Okay, so they didn't really do anything. That we know about.
Calling themselves the Greek Security Team, the interlopers mocked the IT used on the project, describing the technicians responsible for security as "a bunch of schoolkids."
However, despite an ominous warning "don't mess with us," the hackers said they had no intention of disrupting the work of the atom smasher."We're pulling your pants down because we don't want to see you running around naked looking to hide yourselves when the panic comes," they wrote in Greek in a rambling note posted on the LHC's network.
Of course they're not going to disrupt the atom smashing. They have to make sure the LHC is fully functional before they bust back in. Then they'll use the system's time machining capabilities to travel back in time and fulfill man's quest to have sex with dinosaurs. Lizard people yo, lizard people.
Hit the jump for a video explaining the experiments conducted using the LHC.
Continue Reading " Uh-Oh: Large Hadron Collider Hacked, Countdown To Destruction Initiated !! "
Feb 13 2008 l337 Eye Chart Isn't Haxor Approved
This the l337 Eye Chart. It has some really basic acronyms people use online, but in the form of an eye chart! It says at the bottom if you can read it then you have l337 eyes. And I could, so my eyez must b teh l337! Unfortunately having l337 eyes doesn't come with wall hack capabilities, which is a shame because I think the couple that live next door are totally doing it.
l337 Eye Chart [neatorama]
