Nov 12 2009 Early Computing: Children's New Alphabet

Is this how today's children learn the alphabet? No. Is this how tomorrow's children will learn the alphabet? Probably not. Is spanking the best way to teach your children things? My parents thought so, and look how smart I am. Well, you can't physically SEE how smart I am. What you're looking at is called handsome.

How Today's Kids Learn The Alphabet [verybored]

Thanks to Nick, who learned the alphabet the old fashioned way: he didn't. His tip was nothing but wingdings and a link!

Oct 27 2009 Another Auto-Tuned Science-y Song, Now With More Bill Nye The Science Guy!

This is the second song/video in the Symphony of Science series, a project designed by John Boswell to spit scientific knowledge in an auto-tuned musical format. The first chart topper was 'A Glorious Dawn' with Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking. Now Carl is back with backup singers Neil deGrasse Tyson, Richard Feynman and Bill Nye, and let me tell you -- these beats are FREEEEEESH.

"We Are All Connected" was made from sampling Carl Sagan's Cosmos, The History Channel's Universe series, Richard Feynman's 1983 interviews, Neil deGrasse Tyson's cosmic sermon, and Bill Nye's Eyes of Nye Series, plus added visuals from The Elegant Universe (NOVA), Stephen Hawking's Universe, Cosmos, the Powers of 10, and more. It is a tribute to great minds of science, intended to spread scientific knowledge and philosophy through the medium of music.

Again, another job well done. Really made me want to blast off in my rocketship and crash into a planet. And by that I mean drop a bunch of acid and listen to these guys talk about outerspace while I roll around on the carpet.

The Symphony of Science

Thanks to Lookaze, Austin, Marc, crispy85, eelee and meeotch, who travel across the country singing to children about possible careers in science but mostly just getting high in the tour bus. Need groupies?

Oct 15 2009 Didn't Need To See That: Hello Kitty Anatomy

Ever wonder what was inside Hello Kitty? Me neither, I just assumed it was hairballs and maybe one of those toy mice. Boy was I wrong -- apparently she has guts. Aaaaaah I just want to lick them!

As part of the Dr. Romanelli x Hello Kitty collaboration we see the release of the "Anatomy" toys. The toy comes in two colorways and features a true Dr. design, revealing the inner organs of the iconic character. The toys have been produced by Medicom Toy.

Wow, so it's a real toy. That's cool. I guess you have to teach your kids about anatomy somehow. And no, NOT BY LETTING THEM SHOWER WITH YOU. Also, I like the Band-Aids on Hello's heart, I thought that was a nice touch. TELL ME WHO HURT YOU, KITTY, I'LL KILL THEM! Also, I'm no vet but you might not what that turd floating so close to your vital organs.

Hit the jump for the other color and a shot of the two models together.

Continue Reading " Didn't Need To See That: Hello Kitty Anatomy "

Jul 20 2009 Found Her!: Carmen Sandiego Spotted In Wild

I swear this is old, but honestly, that's never stopped me from posting anything in the past, so why stop now? I'M RUNNING THIS RED LIGHT! Anyway, the law finally caught up with Carmen Sandiego at an undisclosed airport. And as you can see, she hasn't aged as well as I was hoping. Remember when Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? first came out and your friend convinced you if you beat the game 200 times you got to see her naked? Yeah, I know all my world capitals.

Carmen Sandiego Has Been Found! [geekstir]

Thanks to Joemo, who once found a Carmen Sandiego shaped barbecue chip but accidentally broke it before he could sell it on eBay.

Jul 19 2009 Deep Roots: The Mario Game Family Tree

This is a depiction of all Mario games in the style of a family tree. Obviously, there aren't only ten games, so click HERE to see the super-ultra-high-res joint with all 130+ games. Fun fact: I was born in the same hospital by the same doctor as my father. So, yeah. I swear, it's like we've known each other our whole lives, you and I. Want to hold hands? Okay, but I've got to warn you: mine's hairy sweaty.

Mario Family Line [limitbreak]

Thanks to em.monster, who puts Nessie to shame. And to Kalutika, who fell from the tree of beauty.

May 14 2009 The Study Ball: I Said Do Your Homework!

The Study Ball is allegedly a real $115 product that prevents you from moving from your desk while you're supposed to be studying. Obviously, it's a complete sham unless it weighs at least 200lbs, because I can lift twice that with my littlest piggy.

The Study Ball gadget is a prison-style ball and chain that you can program to keep track of how much time you spend studying. Once you've selected the desired duration, you chain the ball to your ankle and the manacle won't come off until the schedule study time is up.A red LED indicator displays the "Study Time Left" and keeps you informed as to how much longer you've got to keep studying. The ball and chain are made of highly durable steel and weighs a total of 9.5 kg / 20.95 pounds, which makes it difficult to move while wearing it.

21lbs, pfffft. That's not gonna stop anybody from doing anything. Including, but not limited to: robbing a liquor store. ALL THE BOURBON OR YOUR ANKLE GETS IT! What? NO THIS AIN'T NO SKIP-IT!

Product Site
via
Study Ball brings seriously old school methods to child rearing [dvice]

Thanks to e., who actually knows the whole Skip-It jingle. Wow, e., I think I love you.

Mar 18 2009 Percent Of Student Virgins Per College Major

As you can see, majoring in Mathematics or Chemistry pretty much guarantees you a sexless college experience. Good for you, hopefully you took a purity pledge or something. Now, if you'll excuse me, "CALLING ALL FEMALE STUDIO ART MAJORS, PARTY AT MY HOUSE -- BRING FINGERPAINT."

Virginity rates among students by major [forwardon]

Thanks to Julian (a poli-sci major) and Romeo, who majored in Juliet. HIYO!

Mar 11 2009 They're After Our Children!: Robot Substitute

Have kids? Well you won't for long if Saya, the robot substitute, has her way. The harbinger of death is allegedly multilingual, capable of calling roll, reading, and assigning work from textbooks. Also, scaring the shit out of your children.

Behind her latex face -- modeled on a university student -- 18 motors create expressions including happiness, surprise, fear, disgust, sadness and even anger.

Saya will start teaching after passing a trial term at a Tokyo primary.

Her creator, science professor Hiroshi Kobayashi, had been working on the robot for 15 years.

Wow, robotic substitutes -- what will they think of next? Robotic cafeteria ladies? That would suck, because I'm a boy that needs extra fish sticks, and you can't bribe a robot. Or can you? Hey Roomba, I'll oil you if you clean under the bed really well. *BEEP BOP BEEP* DOES NOT COMPUTE. You piece of shit, I knew I never should have WOOTed you.

Hit the jump to see what your robotic substitute looks like with no face.

Continue Reading " They're After Our Children!: Robot Substitute "

Feb 26 2009 I Knew It!: Violent Video Games Helps Prepare Children For The Coming Apocalypse

This is an Onion News roundtable discussion on the benefit of children playing violent video games. And as I suspected, violent games do, in fact, prepare the world's youth for the coming apocalypse.

Playing video games all day, alone and friendless, is simply the best way we have to prepare our children for a life of solitude in a barren wasteland.

Finally, somebody speaking some sense. So fret not, parents, buying your children violent video games might just provide them with the know-how they need to survive in the the future. Or, I dunno, bring a gun to school. Either one.

Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse? [theonion]

Thanks to Mister Tiddles, who I think might be a cat.

Feb 23 2009 Beats From The Dark Side: AT-AT Boombox

I have no more information on this thing except it looks like a functional boombox in the form factor of an AT-AT. Really makes me want to throw down a piece of cardboard and break. That's breakdance for those of you not in the know. Uh, wicka-pow! You see that move? That was fresh, was it not? So fresh. And these beats -- it's like they were harvested from the beat-bush this morning. Quick, somebody drop one for me!

My name is Geekologie and I am full of knowledge-y

I drop the learnin' like a hookers box the burnin'
Actually, I'm feeling a little burny myself right now
Hold that beat while I find my ointment.

I know, I am the freshest. Seriously, check my expiration date. Haha, that's right -- I don't have one! I scratched it out with a car key because I expired a week ago. I'm getting rancid. Quick, drink me anyways! You puked didn't you? Haha, told you I was rancid. Now one more sip. DO IT!

Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups of the awesomeness.

Continue Reading " Beats From The Dark Side: AT-AT Boombox "

Feb 7 2009 Doctoral Student Furious After University Throws Out His Collection Of Lizard Dung

Typically, you don't want bags of crap hanging around for too long. But not Daniel Bennett -- he loves that shit! Now he's furious that Leeds University custodians threw away part of his doctoral work -- a 77lb bag of Butaan Lizard dung it took him 7 years to collect.

"Whether it was the largest collection of lizard shit in the world is uncertain, but it certainly contained the only dietary sample from that little-known species Varanus olivaceus, and probably the most complete dietary record of any single population of animals in South East Asia. Its loss left me reeling and altered the course of my life forever."

First of all, Daniel, I don't think "shit" is the proper scientific nomenclature. And secondly, if losing a bag of crap can alter the course of your life forever, well, it's time you take a long, hard look at your life anyways. Just saying, tons of birdshit on my car.

University apologises for lizard dung clear-out [wigantoday]

Thanks to RyanThePerson, who is an actual human and not just shit stacked that high.

Jan 7 2009 6-Year Old Misses Bus, Steals Family Car, Learned To Drive Playing Grand Theft Auto

A six-year old (possibly Lil Derrick) missed the school bus and did what any responsible, education-loving tyke would do -- stole his parents' 2005 Ford Taurus and drive his damn self. It almost brings a tear to my eye. Almost. Super villains don't cry though. I ain't no little bitch!

He made at least two 90-degree turns, passed several cars and ran off the rural two-lane road several times before hitting an embankment and utility pole about a mile and a half from school.

The boy told police he learned to drive playing Grand Theft Auto and Monster Truck Jam video games.

"He was very intent on getting to school," said Northumberland County Sheriff Chuck Wilkins. "When he got out of the car, he started walking to school. He did not want to miss breakfast and PE."

Damn, what a student he must be! I think we've got a future rocket scientist on our hands here. Just kidding, he'll be locked up in no time.

6-year-old takes family car after missing bus [ajc]

Thanks to Chris and Kevin, who never stole cars to get to school because those mutherf***ers had jetpacks, yo!

Dec 12 2008 NYU To Offer Video Game Degree Next Fall

NYU will be offering degrees in the design and development of video games starting fall 2009. Load up on Mountain Dew, kids, it's time to get your learn on.

The NYU Game Center, launching in fall 2009, will make NYU the first New York City college to offer such a degree, and one of the few in the country.

"It will do a lot to attract new students to New York and raise the city's profile as a center for gaming," said Center for an Urban Future deputy director Tara Colton, who recently called out New York City for lagging behind its competition in tapping into the videogame market.

Drawing from a private $1 million contribution, and a $200,000 Rockefeller grant, the center will initially be modest in scale. NYU plans to offer ten to twelve students the chance to choose from 70 courses in game design and development next year, with a two-year masters program set to launch in 2010.

Cool. I mean, I'd probably still fail out, but at least the subject material would be cooler than the stuff I learned. Which was nothing. Well, that's not entirely true. I made bongs and shit. And also, radiator wine. You know, by setting bottles of apple juice on the radiator in front of the window for a semester. You ever done that before? My f***, it gets you some drunk.

NYU Launching Videogame Degree Next Fall [shacknews]

Thanks to Alexandria, The Reigning Queen of Nerdopia, who just earned herself an honorary doctorate in awesome from the University of Geekologie.

Dec 8 2008 Build Your Own Paper Airplane Launcher

Want to launch paper airplanes but don't have any arms? Then good luck folding one in the first place. But for those of you that are lazy or just don't know when to let go comes the $18 Electric Paper Plane Launcher from Urban Outfitters.

Ready for take off. Take your paper airplane experience to electrifying new heights with The Electric Paper Plane Launcher! This fun kit was designed at Middlesex University, one of the leading design Universities in the UK. With simple assemble, you can discover how spinning motors and plastic discs can be used to launch a plane at over 30 mph!

Oh boy, I can't wait to discover how spinning motors and plastic disks can be used to launch a plane! You think it's anything like discovering how spinning motors and sharp metal disks can be used to cut your freaking fingers off?

Product Page

Thanks to krabivana, who launches planes the old fashioned way, with explosives.

Dec 5 2008 U.K. Launches (Teddy) Bears To (Near) Space

The University of Cambridge, in cooperation with a bunch of school kids, ballooned four teddy bears to 30,000 meters. Because, I mean, why the hell not?

A helium balloon was used to get the bears up up and away flying to Near Space or the Edge of Space as it is known. The bears endured temperatures of minus 53 degrees on the three hour flight from Cambridge and all were returned safely to Earth.

The project was intended to "engage local schoolchildren in science and engineering" with young pupils making the Teddy-nauts' space-suits.

Oh yeah, making Teddy-naut suits, that's science and engineering for you. Let's see, the dumbass bear on the left doesn't even have a freaking helmet, so that poor bastard's long gone. And the one on the right....is that an inside out Doritos bag zip tied to his body? Wow. There was no good picture of the balloon they used, but we can only assume it was of the 'Get Well Soon' variety from the grocery store.

Photos of teddy bears in space [newslite]

Thanks to Charles, who once launched a polar bear into space with a single punch. The dude's strong.

Dec 3 2008 Highly Questionable: Stoned Sesame Street

This is a Sesame Street ripoff featuring the Pot Cookie Monster. You know, because he loves pot cookies. Now as someone who's done several people's fair share of drugs in their life (do as I say kids, not as I do), I found it lacking. I question if the makers have ever actually made a GB out of a Mountain Dew 2-liter or eaten a peanut butter and mushroom sandwich. Just saying, I spoke to a parking cone for over an hour. Good people.

Youtube

Thanks to Hunter, who knows the magic's in the butter. And also, the hat. We're on to you Frosty!

Nov 26 2008 Wrong, Just Plain Wrong: Vajayjay Hero

Vagina Hero is a fake Guitar Hero knockoff centered around pleasuring a woman's Thingy McThingThing. It's not even a fake game as much as a couple pictures and an article. Still, I know how some of you have never seen one before, so I figured I'd go ahead and post it. That's pretty much it right there. There's lots of crazy colors and shit and round button-y things. Ladies, back me up. I have too seen one!

The stages in Vagina Hero are women, much like the individual songs in previous Hero games released by a completely different publisher that is in no way related to Arctivision. There is no background or story explaining how you suddenly find yourself with a naked vagina in your face -- the stage loads up and it's just there.

Classy 70's-style bow-chika-wow-wow starts playing, and you find your screen assaulted with colored button-press indicators called "E-Zones". The E-Zones (or "EZ's") correspond to the same colored buttons on your Vagina Hero controller, dubbed "HodgePodge". Why HodgePodge?

"Just look at it. What the f*** is that? We designed it and we don't even really know. We tried to stay true to real thing, but that's the best we could do."

Hit the jump to see a picture of the controller, which looks pretty much like every vagina I've ever seen. Just remember: the blue button takes you to a very special bonus level.

Mash that button!

Continue Reading " Wrong, Just Plain Wrong: Vajayjay Hero "

Nov 24 2008 ZOMG, Cutest Roomba Driver Ever!

This is a video of a cat driving a Roomba. Really warms the cockles, doesn't it? Speaking of which, what the hell's a cockle?

NOUN:

1. Any of various bivalve mollusks of the family Cardiidae, having rounded or heart-shaped shells with radiating ribs.
2. The shell of a cockle.
3. A wrinkle; a pucker.
4. Nautical: A cockleshell.

That makes no sense whatsoever. Ah, here we go:

IDIOM:
cockles of (one's) heart

One's innermost feelings: The valentine warmed the cockles of my heart.

So, ethically speaking, is it okay to eat cockles because they don't have any? Steam on that one for a minute. Then, admit you just got your ass philosophized off by the Geekologie Writer! You little cockle gobblin' fools you.

Youtube

Thanks to my brother Frank, whose miniature dachshund Link refuses to ride the Roomba. Seriously little guy, do it for Zelda.

Oct 23 2008 Learning is Fun!: The Star Wars Alphabet

If you're anything like me, you taught yourself to read off the back of a cereal box you had to use as a pillow (or, alternatively, newspaper sheets). Rough times. But look at me now -- shit, still rough times. Anyway, this is some cute Star Wars alphabet art. As you can see, A is for Ackbar. I went through the whole set and picked out a couple of my favorites, which you can see after the jump. No, which you WILL see after the jump. Going through them all took upwards of twenty clicks, and I'll be damned if I clicked in vain. Repent, dear reader, repent! But seriously, who do l pay to get my sins absolved?

Hit it for two more and a link to the worthwhile gallery.

Continue Reading " Learning is Fun!: The Star Wars Alphabet "

Sep 12 2008 UK University Offering Course In Jedi

Queen's University Belfast in Northern Ireland is offering a course in Jedi this semester.

According to its publicity material, the course, Feel the Force: How to Train in the Jedi Way, teaches the real-life psychological techniques behind Jedi mind tricks.

It also claims to examine the wider issues behind the Star Wars universe, like balance, destiny, dualism, fatherhood and fascism. The course will provide students with the fundamental building blocks they'll need to succeed in careers like never having sex.

Sign me up!

Bring your own light sabre: Uni launches Jedi course [abc]

Thanks to Miriam, who actually trained the very first Jedi.