Jul 30 2009 Not For My Kids!: Darth Vader Robot Arm Toy

MORE: arm , darth vader , fingers , hand , i have two fingers , kill it with fire! , learning is dangerous , like chinese fingercuffs , luke i am your broken toy in the bottom of the toy chest , no thanks , not for my kids! , questionable , star wars , that's no toy! , toy

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This Darth Vader robotic arm toy from Uncle Milton (creep!) costs $30 and will be broken by day's end. God, can I sell products or what? No, seriously, I can.

Build and use a real Star Wars Darth Vader robotic arm! Grip and move objects using interactive controls. Assembles easily with snap-together parts. Kids will learn how robotic arms are being used in medical science applications! Includes stand with built-in controls. Fun and informative learning guide included.


* Assembles quickly and easily with snap-together parts.

* Includes stand with built-in controls.

* Gripping, turning, and extending action.

* Grabs and holds lightweight objects.

Well if that doesn't sound funner than a bunch of Sea Monkeys I don't know what does (except everything, including watching your last Sea Monkey die). No, I hereby challenge you to an arm wrestling match, Vader Arm. Ready? Set? *SLAM* Go. Haha, you have two fingers!

Product Site

Thanks to Slade, who made a necklace out of robot fingers, which is pretty sick. And to naas, who's going to use this arm to choke me for the rest of the week.

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Jul 10 2009 Robot Teaches Itself To Smile, Next: Targeting

MORE: aaaaahh , apocalypse , bad ideas , bad thinking , college , death and destruction , face , face aids , i don't wanna diiiiie tonight , learning is dangerous , makes me angry , makes me sick , no , no no no , robotic death army , run for your life! , scientists , turn that frown upside down and burn it with fire! , we're all gonna die! , what have you done , you fools!

The fools at the University of California, San Diego have created a robot that can learn new facial expressions on it's own. Next, its gonna learn how to drive itself to the shooting range.

To begin teaching the robot, the researchers stuck Einstein in front of a mirror and instructed the robot to "body babble" by contorting its face into random positions. A video camera connected to facial recognition software gave the robot feedback: When it made a movement that resembled a "real" expression, it received a reward signal.

"It's an iterative process," said facial recognition expert Marian Bartlett, a co-author of the study. "It starts out completely random and then gets feedback. Next time the robot picks an expression, there's a bias towards putting the motors in the right configuration."

Now I'm no terrorist, BUT IF I WAS, Machine Perception Laboratory, just sayin'.

Robot Teaches Itself to Smile [wired]

Thanks to Dirk, Dennie and RealLifeFup, who asked it to smile for the camera and then shot it because it wasn't really a camera, it was a gun.

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May 14 2009 The Study Ball: I Said Do Your Homework!

MORE: balls , cruelty , dangerous , fun for all ages , geez , heavy , holy smokes , i've seen it all now , learning is dangerous , learning is fun , metal , oldschool , questionable , school , students , torture , toy , work hard kids , wow

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The Study Ball is allegedly a real $115 product that prevents you from moving from your desk while you're supposed to be studying. Obviously, it's a complete sham unless it weighs at least 200lbs, because I can lift twice that with my littlest piggy.

The Study Ball gadget is a prison-style ball and chain that you can program to keep track of how much time you spend studying. Once you've selected the desired duration, you chain the ball to your ankle and the manacle won't come off until the schedule study time is up.A red LED indicator displays the "Study Time Left" and keeps you informed as to how much longer you've got to keep studying. The ball and chain are made of highly durable steel and weighs a total of 9.5 kg / 20.95 pounds, which makes it difficult to move while wearing it.

21lbs, pfffft. That's not gonna stop anybody from doing anything. Including, but not limited to: robbing a liquor store. ALL THE BOURBON OR YOUR ANKLE GETS IT! What? NO THIS AIN'T NO SKIP-IT!

Product Site
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Study Ball brings seriously old school methods to child rearing [dvice]

Thanks to e., who actually knows the whole Skip-It jingle. Wow, e., I think I love you.

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Mar 11 2009 They're After Our Children!: Robot Substitute

MORE: apocalypse , bad decisions , bad ideas , children , doomsday , fear , japan , kids , killing machines , learning is dangerous , learning is fun , not fun , not good , robotic death , robots , scary , school , teacher , uh-oh , what are we teaching our children?

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Have kids? Well you won't for long if Saya, the robot substitute, has her way. The harbinger of death is allegedly multilingual, capable of calling roll, reading, and assigning work from textbooks. Also, scaring the shit out of your children.

Behind her latex face -- modeled on a university student -- 18 motors create expressions including happiness, surprise, fear, disgust, sadness and even anger.


Saya will start teaching after passing a trial term at a Tokyo primary.

Her creator, science professor Hiroshi Kobayashi, had been working on the robot for 15 years.

Wow, robotic substitutes -- what will they think of next? Robotic cafeteria ladies? That would suck, because I'm a boy that needs extra fish sticks, and you can't bribe a robot. Or can you? Hey Roomba, I'll oil you if you clean under the bed really well. *BEEP BOP BEEP* DOES NOT COMPUTE. You piece of shit, I knew I never should have WOOTed you.

Hit the jump to see what your robotic substitute looks like with no face.

Continue Reading " They're After Our Children!: Robot Substitute "

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