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Results for "law enforcement"

  • September 9, 2011
    So apparently somebody spent the time to write up a resumé for Harry Potter to become an auror, because, get this -- when it comes to Harry Potter, there are very few things people won't spend the time to do. These are also the same people that won't bother brushing their tee... / Continue →
  • August 25, 2011
    Police in Surrey, England have developed an iPhone app that tracks local officers so citizens feel a heightened sense of safety and security. Oooooooooor rob a bank on the other side of town. The app is totally well-intentioned. It's supposed to give residents a sense of secu... / Continue →
  • June 1, 2011
    Always getting into fights? It's your face -- people find it offensive. Wear a mask like I do. Kidding, I just don't ever go out. The BodyGuard (not to be confused with the movie I've never seen and have no intention of) is the lovechild of a ballistics-nylon arm bracer, vi... / Continue →
  • September 23, 2010
    Ever wonder what makes Robocop tick? The time bomb I just strapped to his back! The real question is what makes Robocop stop ticking? Hopefully the same thing! Does Robocop eat stainless steel donuts? I have no idea but he does piss motor oil and crap nuts & bolts. Which,... / Continue →
  • September 15, 2010
    A southern California police department recently issued a public safety notice warning citizens to be on the lookout for any child-loving bears in the area. NOBODY GETS BETWEEN ME AND FREE CANDY! At one convention of IT enthusiasts the San Luis Obispo County Sheriff's Departm... / Continue →
  • July 8, 2010
    When it comes to taking down perps, you don't always want to shoot them in the face and have their brains explode all over the wall. Wait -- you don't?! No, you don't. Sometimes you're gonna need to torture them first to gain vital information. Aaaaaah, right right right! ... / Continue →
  • June 3, 2010
    Allegedly Warner Bros. is being sued by a German company for taking their proprietary anti-pirating technology and using it without permission. God, and they raised such a stink when I pirated 'Free Willy: Escape from Pirate's Cove'. You outta be ashamed. Per the Hollywood R... / Continue →
  • February 2, 2010
    That's right folks, gang members are taking to popular social networking sites to brag about crimes, issue threats to rival gangs, and score bitches/drugs/skrilla. Basically everything Facebook and Twitter were invented for. When a gang member was released from jail soon afte... / Continue →
  • December 22, 2009
    A Boston mother (think terrier, but human-er) recently called 911 on her 14-year old son after finding him playing video games at 2:30 one morning, long after she had told him to go to bed. Nice, but I would have just belted the shit out of him because I know good parenting. ... / Continue →
  • December 4, 2009
    A Toronto man got SWAT-teamed at work after someone in an apartment complex across the street saw him assembling a LEGO gun (model he was making HERE) through the window. Also, what's the ruling on calling the cops about the The Superficial Writer peaking over my cubicle wall ... / Continue →