Dec 1 2008 Large Hadron Collider May Never Start Again

Well, that's a lie. Actually, no it's not. *brandishing crowbar* At least not if I have something say about it! Anyway, the LHC, which was thought to only be down until the spring, may not kill us all until late 2009, or even 2010. We're saved (but still be wary of terrorists)!

According to spokesperson James Gillies, the complicated repairs can be simplified into modest Plan A and Plan B approach.

Plan A is a quick and dirty fix, getting the particle accelerator online as quickly as possible (late summer 2009) at the cost of operating at lower power. In this scenario, 3 of 8 pressure relief-system segments are replaced (only the broken ones) with the other 5 getting upgraded at unsaid maintenance dates in the future.

Plan B is the more extensive but also more delayed approach, requiring the complete redesign and replacement of the LHC's entire pressure-relief system. Under this scenario, the LHC wouldn't go online until 2010 at the earliest, though at that time the system could operate at full power.

Well, looks like we're gonna have to find another way to destroy the planet in the meantime. Any ideas? I'm thinking good old fashioned CFCs. Or, alternatively, whip-its. Just remember: stop before the whipcream comes out. You squirt it, you buy it -- grocery store policy.

LHC Might Not Be Back Online Until 2010 or Later [gizmodo]

Thanks to Harrison, who promises to help me break into CERN and rollerskate around in the hallways.

Sep 24 2008 We're Saved!: LHC Shut Down Temporarily

The Large Hadron Collider won't be doing any colliding until next spring due to a magnet failure that allowed a ton of helium to leak out one of the tunnels.

Cern said the most likely cause of the equipment failure was a faulty electrical connection between two of the accelerator's magnets. This connection melted during testing of the machine and caused a huge leak of super-cool helium.

We're saved! There will be a Christmas after all! Just kidding, the robots are coming. Let's just say Thanksgiving won't be so thankful this year.

On a side note, your friend the Geekologie Writer is going through a really tough time right now (divorce). Please don't give up on him, he'll be back to rocking the shit out of shit as soon as possible.

Collider halted until next year [bbcnews]

Thanks to Flash, Josh, Daniel, and Dave, who all know the only good collisions happen at the demolition derby.

Sep 18 2008 Large Hadron Collider Gets New Name

The Royal Society of Chemistry in London recently held a contest to rename the Large Hadron Collider. The votes are in, and the doomsday machine's new name is *drumroll please*....Halo!

After sifting more than 2,500 responses, ranging from The Big Banger to Infinite Devil Machine and The Matter Splatterer, it has now selected a winner to rechristen the vast enterprise.

"Halo conjures visions of radiant beauty, power and wisdom. The circle of light reflects the collider's form; it is a crowning achievement of science and engineering. It also gives more than a nod to the experiment's importance to religious debate."

Visions of radiant beauty, power and wisdom? I get it -- like Master Chief, right?

Large Hadron Collider: Public chooses 'Halo' as its new name [telegraph]

Thanks to Kevo and Mikeeeeeeeeeeeee, both of whom swear they voted for the much catchier 'Oh Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck'