Sep 24 2009 Be Like Obama: Pac-Man Laptop Stickers
AAAAHH, HE'S POINTING DIRECTLY AT MY SOUL! But that's not the point, the point is that there's little Pac-Man looking sticker (which I'm pretty sure is actually a Chain Chomp sans chain) on the president's MacBook Pro. And now you can have one just like it for the low, low introductory price of $3 (or 5 for $12)!
These Pacman stickers in dark blue are now available for sale from Obama Pacman! Works on your Apple laptop, including MacBook, MacBook Pro, MacBook Air, your Apple desktop, including iMac, Mac Pro, and maybe even a Mac Mini. These high quality stickers will also work for PCs and almost anything else you can get your hands on.
OMG, Pac is headed right for that apple! Don't eat it, Pac, DON'T DO IT! *om nom nom nom* Thanks a lot jerk, now we have to leave the garden. Say -- think you could get the missus to flash us all before we go?
Sep 21 2009 Sexy Japanese Lap Pillow Is An Actual Lap
This is a $99 Lap Pillow from Japan that, get this, looks like an actual lap! They come in both black and red skirt options and make a perfect gift for the person in your life that has everything but sexual relations with real people.
This pillow is skin-coloured polyurethene calves folded under soft thighs, a comfy cushion for napping, reading, or watching television.
And that's ALL they're good for, okay? Napping. Reading. Watching television. No funny business -- this includes prop comedy. Wocka wocka wocka!
Thanks to Claytron, who is holding out for chest pillows which, actually, probably already exist.
Aug 30 2009 Dual Screen Laptops Here Before Christmas (You Hear That, Santa? You Fat Bastard You)
So apparently the dual 15.4" screened gGscreen Spacebook will be released in time for Christmas this year. Also, the elves I've been holding hostage. BUT ONLY IF SANTA MEETS MY DEMANDS.
The Alaska based company, started by Gordon Stewart (yep, that is where the G in gScreen comes from), is aiming its dual screen laptops at professional designers, filmmakers, photographers and really anyone who can't live without a dual screen for everyday productivity...The chassis (which we expect is at least 12 pounds) is built around the 15.4 inch screen (though the first units that come to market will have 16-inch or 17-inch screens) and its twin, identically sized screen slides out from behind the first using a uniquely designed sliding mechanism.
They will run Windows 7 and be powered by Intel Core 2 Duo processors, 4GB of RAM and high-end Nvidia GF900M GT discrete graphics. The plan is for fast 7,200 RPM hard drives and six or nine-cell batteries...."It is absolutely the opposite of a netbook," he told us. Yea that is no kidding with a price tag that he is hoping to keep under $3,000.
Damn! 30" of screen real estate, that's a lot. This thing isn't even a laptop any more. It's a muffintop. ZING!
GScreen's Dual-Screen Spacebook Coming Soon(ish) [gizmodo]
Thanks to Melissa, Mark and Mike, whose names all begin with the letter M. What? I NOTICE THESE THINGS! Did you get your hair cut? All of them, good one.
Aug 20 2009 Not Worth It: Shop Keeper Fights Laptop Away From Thief WHILE AVOIDING PEWs
This is a video of a shop keeper in Mexico fighting his laptop away from two would be thieves while being shot at. Now I'm not saying this guy has cojones de oro, but I am saying he must have some seriously illegal shit on that laptop.
Store Clerk Dodges Bullet to Keep His Laptop From Getting Stolen [gizmodo]
Jun 27 2009 MacBooks Made With Space Technology
Here's video proof MacBooks are made with space technology. Now I don't want to ruin it for you, but I'm going to anyways: they are among us. And by they I mean them. The French.
Thanks to Ryan, Geekologie fan.
Jun 12 2009 What Fridays On Geekologie Should Look Like
Look around. Does your desk area match the one in this picture? If not, you're doing it wrong. This is a picture of Geekologie loyalist naas's Friday interweb setup entitled 'fridays on geekologie'. And as you can see, the man really knows how to internet. After all, this is a website best viewed in squinting one-eyed resolution. Vomit optional.
naas' Flickr Stream (with a bunch more booze and a ton of shots from Japan)
Thanks to naas, who urges you all to please, Geekologie responsibly.
Jun 9 2009 USB Microwave Is World's Smallest, For Beans
The Heinz Beanzawave is being billed as the world's smallest microwave and measures a scant 7.4 inches tall by 6.2 inches wide and 5.9 inches deep. It's equally suited for heating a can of beans/soup at your desk or frying your nuts so you can't have children.
The mini microwave is being developed as a partner to Heinz Snap Pots, baked beans in single-serving containers. The Snap Pots, available in the U.K., fit perfectly into the Beanzawave. But the $160 device will only be released commercially if consumer feedback is positive and if component prices drop in the near future.
Well you can count me on board. I'M ON A BOAT! Just kidding, I wish I was though. No, right now I'm just laying in bed topless braiding my penises. Now where'd I put that scrunchie?
Beanzawave: The World's Smallest Microwave [fastcompany]
Thanks to scottsc, who cooks his beans at work the old fashioned way: on a campfire in the boardroom.
Jun 8 2009 Apple's Worldwide Developer's Conference: New iPhone 3GS And Some Other Stuff
Well folks, Apple just wrapped up its Worldwide Developer's Conference in San Francisco, and, (no) surprise!: a new iPhone (and software update) available June 19th. Also, a couple new laptops and a new OS, Snow Leopard (I hope nobody got paid for that). Anyway, the highlights of the new iPhone are as follows:
- Improved performance
- 3-megapixel autofocus camera
- Video recording
- Voice Control
- Digital compass
- Cut, Copy & Paste
- MMS
- Spotlight Search
- Landscape keyboard
- Voice Memos
Wonderful. Especially considering I dropped mine face down on the driveway two days AND THEN STEPPED ON IT AND SKIDDED IT ACROSS THE concrete. Luckily, it didn't break, it just got scratched all to hell. Don't believe me? Hold on, I'll take a picture.
Okay, so you can't take a picture OF your iPhone WITH your iPhone (without using mirrors the way you'd look at your own ass in the bathroom).
Hit the jump for a picture of my wallpaper instead and a visual comparison of the new iPhone and old iPhone.
Continue Reading " Apple's Worldwide Developer's Conference: New iPhone 3GS And Some Other Stuff "
Jun 2 2009 Winner Of Baby Race Crawls For Laptop
First of all, I bet on baby races all the time ($40 on the bald one with a dirty diaper). And secondly, Kajus Aukščionis recently won a Lithuanian baby race and is a super fast crawler. Not as fast as me, but I have a special skill set. But what gets young Kajus crawling so fast? Laptops. The little haxor loves those things and bolts to them whenever he sees one. It's true, I heard one time he shat through his diaper in Best Buy he was so excited.
Lithuanian Baby Racing Champion Mired In Performance-Enhancing Laptop Scandal [gizmodo]
Thanks to ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff, who may or may not have fallen asleep at the keyboard.
May 18 2009 How To: Get Free WiFi During Your Commute
Like this. At least that's how they do it in Moscow. From Russia With Love, baby! Also, with nesting dolls and bacon vodka. Suck it, Mr. Bond, you just got stirred!
Hit the jump for another shot of the girl in action just in case you thought it was fake or something. OH YEAH -- WELL YOUR DIAMOND IS FAKE!
Continue Reading " How To: Get Free WiFi During Your Commute "
May 13 2009 I Want One: A Real Notebook Computer
This is a video by Dutch artist Evelien Lohbeck that features a real notebook computer. Like a notebook made out of paper. It's pretty neat, and you should watch it (kind of reminded me of A-Ha's Take on Me video). I'm fairly confident the video was made using computer trickery, but I'm not ruling out the possibility that somebody sold their soul to a powerful sorcerer. Which, let's be honest, for your soul, would be a deal. After all, we are men of low moral fiber. Which, holy shit -- another Monkey Island reference?!? I AM THE TOPS!
Youtube
and
The real Notebook Computer! [ebaumsworld]
Thanks to Jack a Shalack and a Yack Yack Yack, who actually only has a single yack and a stuttering problem.
May 8 2009 Pillow Laptop: Working Never Felt So Zzzzz
This is a pillow that looks like a laptop. It's nonfunctional (as a computer, fully functional as a sleep aid), but soft. I don't even know if they're for sale, but let's be honest, you wouldn't buy one if they were. Oh you would? *yelling down to the basement* Say, it doesn't have to be sweatshop free, does it? Anyway, I think we can all agree this laptop brings new meaning to the phrase, "passing out on your laptop and puking into the keys and then it catching fire and torching your eyebrows off", doesn't it? Well I think it does.
This Is the Best Laptop in the World (Or At Least the Softest) [gizmodo]
Thanks to trishna87, who once fell asleep on a netbook and woke up in a web. Spiderman is an online predator.
May 2 2009 DO NOT WANT: Worst MacBook Pro Ever
Ryan went to Best Buy to buy a MacBook Pro. And he did. Or so he thought. Then he brought it home and realized it was a brick. A real brick! Still, it's a step up from rocks.
When I got home I opened the box and found a paving stone packed with bubble wrap, instead of the Macbook Pro. I returned to the store and the manager, "Keith", was not too willing to help me out. He kept falling back on the line "Apple seals the boxes, not us. Take it up with Apple."
I have sent an email to Best Buy corporate and have contacted my credit card company. Unfortunately, they can't do anything until the charge posts.So right now, I paid $2164.89 for a very nice red brick.
ZOMG, I've burnt stores to the ground for less. Like that drug store that was out of Magnums. Okay, that never happened. But if it did....
I wouldn't know what to do with all that penis!
$2164.89 Paving Stone in a MacBook Pro Box Looks Nice, But Won't Run Photoshop [consumerist]
Thanks to Jeremy, who thought he was buying a cinder block but it turned out to be a Ferrari. You lucky dog!
Apr 13 2009 Asleep At The Keyboard: Candle 1, Laptop 0
Dripping candle is dripping. But seriously, I've been looking for a way to spice up the ol' love life, and my hand doesn't go numb anymore. So I've been thinking about ordering a hooker. I guess what I'm getting at is this: as a natural-born pyromaniac, is bring a flame into the bedroom safe? And, if so, what do you guys recommend?
UPDATE: Hello, 911? YEAH -- THERE IS A HOOKER ON FIRE IN MY APARTMENT! My name? My name is *click*
Candle Fail [failblog]
via
In a Fight Between Candle and Laptop, Candle Usually Wins [gizmodo]
Apr 10 2009 Anything Can Happen: Stripper Turns Nun
Anna Nobili is a 38-year old stripper veteran who has been dancing the lap for 20 years all across Europe. But not anymore! She has seen the light, and now only dances for Jesus. I'd tithe her.
Sister Anna, originally from Milan, says she was 'inspired' during a visit to the shrine of St Francis in Assisi. Deciding she wanted more out of life, Miss Nobili has joined the the order of the Sister Workers of the Holy House of Nazareth.
"I was throwing away my life dancing for men. I was being used as a drug by people who wanted to see me dance."Next week she will be in Rome to perform a ballet called Holy Dance, dedicated to episodes from the Bible, for senior cardinals and bishops.
I apologize if you already watched the video, I meant to warn you it makes no sense, features no quality strip-club action, and only briefly shows Anna doing her new dance for God (around 2:45). The rest is an interview in Italian that I couldn't understand. Still, for 38, she's not the worst looking stripper I've ever seen. Fun fact: they let the dancers perform pregnant in West Virginia. It's true. And I can say that because I was born there. THAT'S RIGHT, I'M WILD AND WONDERFUL, BITCHES, WHAT?!
Sister Anna dances for God after 20 years as a lapdancer [couriermail]
Thanks to Julian, who allegedly saw an arm pop out during a lap dance and *HORF HORF HORF HORF HORF* I can't believe I just wrote that.
Mar 14 2009 MacBook Modded With Screen In Apple Logo
Some guy went and modded a MacBook with a fully functional LCD screen in place of the traditional glowing Apple logo on the back. It's set up as a second monitor too so he can precisely control whatever appears on the thing. But mostly he uses it to display his webcam or iTunes Visualizer. Impressive, guy, but not nearly as impressive as my Apple logo mod, which is -- wait for it, wait for it....a saltwater fish tank! Boom-shacka-lacka!
Jan 21 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Dude Laser Etches All The Levels Of Super Mario Land Onto His Eee Pc
Remember Super Mario Land for the Gameboy? Yeah, that shit was hard. Well Flickr user revolvingdork went and laser etched the top of his Eee PC with the entire freaking game.
Everything from the familiar layouts of 1-1 to the climactic battle with Tatanga in the clouds at the end of 4-3 is represented in the etching.
This was made possible with the laser cutter at NYC Resistor in Brooklyn, where you can go to get your laptop etched too!I set the laser in raster mode at 70% speed and 40% power to achieve this look.
There you have it folks, now get out there and laser-etch your laptops! Except for best results I recommend setting the laser for 1% speed and 100% power. Just trust me -- if your computer catches fire, it's working.
Hit the jump for a closeup in which you can really appreciate the detail.
Jan 6 2009 MacWorld Sneak Peak: The MacBook Wheel
Well folks, MacWorld begins today and everyone some people are excited to see if Apple drops some technology bombs on the world. And boy are they! Just check out the latest in their MacBook series -- the Macbook Wheel. It replaces that pesky keyboard with a touch-friendly iPod wheel. Whee! Wheel! Note: For you paint-chippers out there this is fake and the video was made by the Onion. But my god is it a good idea. I freaking love wheels. Including, but not limited to, the one of fortune.
Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard [theonion]
Thanks to Lisa, twellve, Tim, Fish and ITSELF, who all know you don't need keys to type. But you do need them to unlock doors.
Dec 30 2008 Yes Please!: Legend Of Zelda Messenger Bag
Damnit, why didn't I know about this before Christmas?
This ($45) Zelda Messenger Bag features the Zelda map and the Triforce logo. The bag is great for carrying your lap top or just keeping your paper organized for work or class. There are side pockets for easy access as well as an internal cell phone pocket and security pockets. This is a heavy duty messenger bag that will keep you organized but also show your love for LOZ.
It's a messenger bag. It's Zelda themed. Ladies and gentlemen, it's official: I'm hard. Oh -- make that medium. Fluffer!
Legend of Zelda Messenger Bag [uberreview]
Dec 15 2008 Laptop Concept Has *GASP* Three Screens
This is a MacBook (Mac triBook) concept that has two additional fold-out screens for more desktop real estate. It also features a trackpad that stretches the entire length of the main console. Whee! Of course, it's just a concept, so you're probably thinking to yourself, "f***, I could Photoshop some shit together and get it on Geekologie". And you know what? You include a nudey picture of your girlfriend and you just might. But seriously, nice try, but I've already designed something far superior. It's called the quadBook, and that bitch has THREE MORE screens that fold out. Suck it, Apple, your ass just got cored!
Mac|Life 3-Screen Concept Melts Brains [spike]
Thanks to Kirk, who has a 10-screen laptop and has sex with the girl on the subway that you're always ogling. The one with the red blouse. I did her first though. Just don't tell him that.
