Nov 18 2009 Dad Only Speaks Klingon To Son For 3 Years
This handsome dapper portly half-Santa isn't the man in the story, but that doesn't matter. What's important is that he practices good dental hygiene. Also, that some cat named d'Armond Speers decided to only speak Klingon to his son for the first three years of his life. But fret not, he did it with good cause: cruelty experimentation. I knew I had kids for a reason!
"I was interested in the question of whether my son, going through his first language acquisition process, would acquire it like any human language," Speers told the Minnesota Daily. "He was definitely starting to learn it."
And get this, Speers says he isn't really a huge Star Trek fan.Does the fact that Speers has a doctorate in computational linguistics explain anything -- or excuse anything -- here? Maybe. His child-rearing habits were part of a larger story on the company he advises, Ultralingua, which develops language and translation software. Including Klingon.
Yeah, I don't know how I feel about that. Besides somebody get this man a 'Father of the Year' ribbon! Are you reading this B.F. Skinner? That air-crib was weak shit!
Local dad spoke only Klingon to child for three years [citypages]
Thanks to Demon Spawn and Kelly, who are only speaking jibberish to their children for six years.
Oct 23 2009 Geekiest Game Of Scrabble Ever Played?
First of all, acronyms aren't allowed in Scrabble. Or proper names. Making this 'the least played by the rules' game of Scrabble ever. That aside, is it the geekiest? Maybe -- you be the judge. I will be the jury. Except, instead of paying attention and taking notes, I'll be doing a Sudoku. You hear that, court system? STOP CALLING ME FOR JURY DUTY! I have the attention span of
Scrabble "Geek style" [flickr]
via
The Geekiest Scrabble Game Ever! [walyou]
Oct 18 2009 Okay: Man Raps Eminem Songs In Klingon
This is a video of German rapper Klenginem covering Eminem's 'Without Me' in the Klingon language. Apparently this guy actually dresses up and plays gigs doing this. And, honestly, I'm not surprised, Germans are weird as shit. Videos. Case closed!
Klenginem: Eminem Meets Klingon [poppedculture]
Thanks to Matthew, Chrissy and dan, who, from the quality of their emails, don't even know one language. Kidding (but not really)!
Sep 18 2009 September 19th Is Int'l Talk Like A Pirate Day!
That's right you salty, half-masted sons of wenches, tomorrow (September 19th) be International Talk Like A Pirate Day. And to celebrate, TellTale Games is giving away free 1-part episodes of Tales of Monkey Island. Also, I will be getting drunk all day wearing an eyepatch and waving a plastic cutlass. So, if you want some free awesome gameage head over HERE tomorrow to claim your booty. Unless you already own the game like I do CAUSE YOU ARE A PIRATE 4 LIFE! Now, whattya say you and I swill some grog and yell at the wenches? What do you mean, "no"? That's it: hand me my wooden leg, I'm gonna kick your ass.
Thanks to deadbodyman, who talks like a pirate all the time because he illegally downloads copywritten files online all day.
Jul 28 2009 I'd Type With It: Font Created By Driving A Car
Personally, I've always wanted a font created out of my handwriting because I have the cutest damn handwriting in the world (I even dot my i's with hearts!), but hey, a driving font, that's cool too.
Graphic designers Pierre Smeets and Damien Aresta, known collectively as pleaseletmedesign, teamed up with professional race car driver Stef van Campenhoudt to...create a font.
As you can see Campenhoudt did the "writing". The 4 dots on the roof of the car was tracked in real time using a camera and a custom software designed by fellow artist Zachary Lieberman of openFrameworks.
If you ask me, I'd say it turned out pretty well. So go ahead -- ask me. I think it turned out pretty well. Told you! I AM A MAN OF MY WORD.
Hit the jump for a video of the font creation in action, complete with soundtrack that gave me an aural seizure.
Continue Reading " I'd Type With It: Font Created By Driving A Car "
Jun 10 2009 Noob Not Millionth Word Of English Language After All. No, Apparently Now It's 'Web 2.0'
Remember last month when I reported 'noob' was going to be the millionth English word introduced into dictionaries? Well apparently I was lied to (you bitch!), and now the honor goes to 'Web 2.0', which is pretty effed up considering it's half numeral.
The buzzword that heralded the new age of social networking on the internet, Web 2.0, has been crowned the one millionth English word by a US-based language monitoring group.
The Texas-based Global Language Monitor (GLM) acknowledges new words once they have been used 25,000 times on media and social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook. It predicts that a new English-language word is created every 98 minutes.
You know what, I'm tired of this honky-tonk flip-flopping bullshit. I suggest we start a rumor that Geekologie is actually the millionth word in the English language. It's sure as hell a whole lot more believable than noob and web 2.0. As a matter of fact, I already defined it in an earlier post.
Geekologie n, v (2008)
1. the study of all things geek
Dude, this college sucks, you can't even get a Geekologie degree.
2. to utterly destroy someone else and prove your dominance, similar to pwn
Suck it, sucker, I just beat your Bomberman high score. You got Geekologied!
3. to teabag a passed out roommate who forgot to take his shoes off
Quick, grab the video camera -- I'm gonna Geekologie Davey!
Now, go forth and spread the news, LEST I HAVE TO GEEKOLOGIE THAT ASS.
'Web 2.0' is one millionth English word [msn]
Thanks to jawn and draw, who just wrote Merriam Webster and told them to suck it.
May 26 2009 13,500 Pages Of Data Etched On A 3" Disk
The Rosetta Disk is a 3" nickel disk that has been etched with over 13,500 pages of information on how to read and understand the world's languages in case aliens get tired of sticking things up our butts and want to get their learn on. It represents over 1,500 languages and requires a 500x microscope to read a single page. You hear that, aliens -- don't forget your microscopes (read: leave the probes at home).
Hit the jump for a close-up that isn't close enough.
Continue Reading " 13,500 Pages Of Data Etched On A 3" Disk "
May 23 2009 Uh-Oh: Parents Catching On To Text Talk
Can you believe it? Parents are actually breaking the code of "secret" text speak that teenagers use to talk dirty to one another and make plans to *gasp* smoke the marijuana.
Ever wondered what the secret codes that teenagers are bashing out on mobile phones and computers mean?Well, wonder no more.
A list of the top 50 acronyms that every parent should know has been compiled and posted onto the internet, MyFox Atlanta reports.
According to the list, a "Code 9" or "CD9" means that parents are nearby.
The words "I love you" can often be difficult for people to say, but the latest way around is by simplifying the phrase to "143".
143 -- really? I'm pretty sure people have has been using that since before Shakespeare. I mean, I used to use that shit in grade school when we only had pagers. Damn yeah I sold drugs!
Hit the jump for the top 50 "must know" phrases.
Continue Reading " Uh-Oh: Parents Catching On To Text Talk "
May 12 2009 Sure, Why Not?: 'Noob' Makes It To Dictionary
I don't know how much truth there is to this, but let's be honest, I'd still post it even if my only source was overhearing the crazy guy at the bar telling himself. BECAUSE I OWN JOURNALISM. So allegedly, 'noob' is coming to the dictionary, and will also carry the honor of being the millionth word. Snap, you just got PWNED, lexicon!
The Global Language Monitor accepts words once they have been used 25,000 times by media outlets. According to the reports, this hints at "noob" becoming the millionth word, which would happen on June 10, 2009, at 10:20am. At that moment, the word "noob" will itself become a noob in the English language, and we will all polish our specatacles and smirk at the amusing irony of it all.
So a word becomes official when it's used 25,000 times by media outlets, huh? Geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie
geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie geekologie.
I think we're getting close!
Noob to become the millionth word in the English language? [destructoid]
Thanks to Salazar, who suggests we petition to have bangarang included as well.
May 8 2009 Facebook Konami Code, Pirate Language
If you enter the Konami code (↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A ENTER -- don't do in a text box) after logging into Facebook you get a lens flare effect anytime you click, scroll or type anything. Good times. Unless you're epileptic, in which case, dangerous times. Also, if you scroll to the bottom of the page on the left where it has language selection, you can click on that and then choose 'English (Pirate)' to change Facebook to pirate talk. So yeah, pirate it up and then join the Geekologie Fan Page (if you haven't already) so we can all get together and hunt for treasure and shit. Also, I may send a couple of you L337 mateys on top secret missions (possibly with a liquor store involved). After all, you do want to appease the captain, don't you? NO? Then it's the plank for you, you barnacle loving scalawag! Oh, but be a doll and fetch me a grog first.
Thanks to Ian, Joemo, dboucher, matty, mark, Amanda and Liesel, who all sail under the colors of Geekologie.
Apr 10 2009
ShamWow Sells Like Hot Cakes Bluth Corn Baller In Spanish Speaking Countries
This is Vince "Punchahook" Shlomi selling ShamWows in Spanish. And yes, it's every bit as "I want to beat him till he bleeds" as it sounds. Even worse. I actually put my monitor in a choke-hold just watching it. Now tap out or you're dead. I mean it!
Vince Tries To Sell ShamWow In Spanish [consumerist]
Mar 3 2009 BEEP BOOP BOP: What R2-D2 Really Meant
NOTE: VIDEO'S SUBTITLES ARE NSFW.
This is a video of what R2-D2 really meant when he was beepity-booping and whirlity whirling. Obviously, the subtitles are NSFW because he's a pretty angry little droid. And can you blame him? The guy gets no respect. Like me after I rescued that kid from a tree. So what if it was partially my fault he was up there in the first place. He wanted to sit on the rocket-bike.
Hit the jump for another, longer video.
Feb 23 2009 And The Scrabble Word Of The Day Is....
Dildo. Every day on Hasbro's Scrabble homepage it gives a word of the day and definition from the Official Scrabble Dictionary. Yesterday's was dildo. I took the screenshot myself too so I know there was no Photoshoppery involved. Just a disgruntled employee. Or, I dunno, a random word generator. Good looking, Scrabble, I guess kids gotta learn somehow. I happened to learn rummaging through my sister's nightstand looking for a G.I. Joe she stole. That was Saturday. I'm growing up quick!
Thanks to Wes, who is a wordsmith, but unfortunately, not a locksmith. I'm about to break a window.
Feb 11 2009 Finally, Zelda II Has Been Translated To Latin
Somebody went and translated all of Zelda II into Latin for the three people out there that might actually play it that way. They also did the original Zelda and Final Fantasy VI. Whee. As many of you may know, Zelda II is a sore subject for me because it's the only game in the entire series I haven't beat. And believe me, I've tried. I fire that sucker up and play through it at least twice a year AND STILL CAN'T DEFEAT THE LAST PALACE. So, anybody want to come over and beat it for me while I watch? The game too. HIYO!
Hit the jump for some more screenshots of the translated games.
Continue Reading " Finally, Zelda II Has Been Translated To Latin "
Jan 14 2009 What Did I Just Type?: A Klingon Keyboard
Want to make sure nobody in the office steals your keyboard? Well how about a Klingon one?
This exclusive Klingon language keyboard is based on the best selling G83-6000 series keyboards from Cherry.It is a good quality keyboard with 105 keys, PS/2 connection and is available currently in black. This keyboard will be available for delivery from mid November, but demand for this limited edition is high so reserve yours now to be the first with this exclusive model.
"Good quality", pfft, that's marketing speak for piece of shit. Why do I get the feeling somebody got a great deal on a bunch of old keyboards and retrofitted them with Klingon keys? Right, because that's exactly what happened. Get your today for about $65. Thankfully, I got mine yesterday. jIH 'oH tlhIngan chugh SoH Har wIj nach 'oH qab SoH ghajbe' leghpu' wIj penis!
Klingon Keyboard: for serious Trekkies only [dvice]
and
Klingon Translator (in case you need help translating)
Nov 4 2008 Sign Fail: Double Check Your Translation
Sign failure, always good for a laugh. At least a chortle. This one comes to us from the distant land of Wales, which may or may not be real and ruled by a powerful sorcerer. According to his black magical highness, all road signs must be bilingual, with both English and Welsh.
When officials asked for the Welsh translation of a road sign, they thought the reply was what they needed.Unfortunately, the e-mail response to Swansea council said in Welsh: "I am not in the office at the moment. Send any work to be translated".
You've reached The Geekologie Writer. I'm currently unavailable, probably locked in the office supply closet again after The Superficial and Iwatchstuff writers lured me in with the promise of a floozy/pizza party. Help. HELP! Oooh, free pens.
E-mail error ends up on road sign [bbcnews]
Thanks to Tom, whose name actually means Lord Asskicker in Elvish. And Jonathan, whose name means God's Gracious Gift to Women.
Sep 17 2008 Star Wars Episode III With Piss-Poor Subtitles
I don't know if this is real or not, but it certainly could be. Apparently some pirates got a copy of Star Wars Episode III before its release and decided to subtitle it themselves. The result? A homoerotic space thriller!
Skip to about 1:00 to get past the explanation.
Thanks Charlie, but you bite my finger and I'll kill you.
Jul 11 2008 'Fanboy' Makes Merriam-Webster Dictionary
In word news, 'fanboy' has officially been added to the Merriam-Webster dictionary. That's the entry there in the picture. Weird they didn't mention anything about Apple or video games. Oh, and as you can see they claim the word dates back to 1919. Which I find a little hard to believe. In 1919 a fanboy was a kid you paid to wave a palm frond in your direction to stay cool, not somebody sitting outside an Apple store right now waiting for an iPhone. Oh well. In other word news, 'Geekologie' should be added to the dictionary. And no, not as the study of all things geek. Well, fine, that too -- but I was thinking something a little tougher.
Geekologie n, v (2008)
1. the study of all things geek
Dude, this college sucks, you can't even get a Geekologie degree.
2. to utterly destroy someone else and prove your dominance, similar to pwn
Suck it, sucker, I just beat your Bomberman high score. You got Geekologied!
3. to teabag a passed out roommate who forgot to take his shoes off
Quick, grab the video camera -- I'm gonna Geekologie Davey!
'Fanboy' makes Merriam-Webster's list of new English words [gamepro]
Thanks Julian, I'm putting you in charge of spearheading the petition.
Feb 13 2008 l337 Eye Chart Isn't Haxor Approved
This the l337 Eye Chart. It has some really basic acronyms people use online, but in the form of an eye chart! It says at the bottom if you can read it then you have l337 eyes. And I could, so my eyez must b teh l337! Unfortunately having l337 eyes doesn't come with wall hack capabilities, which is a shame because I think the couple that live next door are totally doing it.
l337 Eye Chart [neatorama]
Dec 5 2007 Emoticon Stamp For Analog Correspondence
I rarely send analog letters anymore because it's too damn time consuming and my handwriting looks the same as it did when I was three. :-( Which isn't legible at all. :-D But if I did need to send something handwritten, maybe like a "Dear Jane" letter :'-( I'd certainly need this Transforming Emoticon Stamp from ThinkGeek ($6). :-P You just squeeze the handsome little devil to make a number of different emotions. X-) Because let's face it, the written word doesn't mean shit anymore without a liberal application of emoticons. Just sayin', I <3 ( . Y . )
Emoticon Transforming Stamp [ohgizmo]
