Oct 30 2009 I'm Digging It: Anatomical Furniture Designs
This is a sweet furniture ensemble designed by Vladi Rapaport that features a skull chair, brain ottoman and spine lamp. I want them all. And by all I mean just the skull chair. But I want it throne-sized and it needs to shoot flames.
A collection of products inspired by the Dutch "vanitas" still life paintings from the 16th and 17th century. The characteristic type of symbolic still life painting is the one where the symbols of emptiness, time and death were placed on the canvas as a reminder of the vanity of one's earthly life.
Listen, I don't know about Dutch symbolism or whatever but I do know an ottoman I want to kick the hell out of when I see one. And that brain, my dear Watson, is one such ottoman. *kick kick* You like that? You will never build an empire!
Hit the jump for one more shot of the awesome.
Continue Reading " I'm Digging It: Anatomical Furniture Designs "
Oct 13 2009 Genius: The 100' Extension Cord Coil Lamp
Craighton Berman may or may not own stock in an extension cord company (I think he does), but he did design the Coil Lamp, a lamp constructed of an acrylic frame around which you wrap a 100' electric cord.
When fully-assembled, the Coil Lamp is a striking addition to any room, but when you look at the raw elements of the lamp, you'll be scratching your head saying "that's all there is?" This is truly a case where the whole is much greater than the sum of its parts.
You can order the Coil Lamp over at Craighton Berman's website. The D.I.Y. version (B.Y.O. extension cord) retails for $75 (USD), while a hand-coiled edition, signed and numbered by the artist sells for $150 bucks.
Impressive, Craighton (can I call you Craig?), but what happens when, oh I dunno, an unruly blogger bites through the corn?! Did I say corn -- I meant cord. Damnit, now all I can think about is Mexican-style corn on the cob. Curse you, obesity!
Hit the jump for a shot of the lamp on and a picture of the unassembled unit.
Continue Reading " Genius: The 100' Extension Cord Coil Lamp "
Oct 5 2009 Delicious Light: DIY Bacon Strip Lampshade
Bacon, perhaps the most versatile tool on the planet (suck it, duct tape!), can be fashioned into just about anything. Including, but not limited to: guns and lube. And what more does a person really need (besides the love of a good woman and maybe a pet)?!
Anyway, Flickr user Kris Kelley went and made a lampshade out of bacon slices and posted a little picture tutorial. And one thing's for certain: I bet it smells divine when it heats up! Plus, 10 to 1 odds your dog eats the whole lamp first you leave the house. Ever seen a dog pass an electric cord? It's something you don't forget.
Thanks to jessica, who gamma radiated a pig in the hopes of creating naturally glowing bacon. Unfortunately, it just turns green and beats the shit out of things when it gets mad.
Aug 23 2009 They're Coming: Space Invaders Lamp Shade
This Space Invaders lamp shade is available from meninos in both ceiling and table varieties for 60 bones. Each side of the cube features a different invader from the game and is sure to scare the crap out of you on your way to the kitchen in the middle of the night. Just sayin', I used to have a Frogger lamp in the dining room and some of the shit on the walls is so high I can't even reach it. Dinner anyone?
Product Site
Thanks to Tizer, who knows the only acceptable lamp shade comes in dinosaur form.
Aug 12 2009 I Want All Three!: Do It Yourself Dino Lamps
If any of you are looking for any last minute gift ideas, these dinosaur lamps from ThinkGeek are the perfect present for your Geekologie Writer.
All three (triceratops, diplodocus and t-rex) of these dinosaur lamps are constructed from precision cut sheets of flexible plastic which you slot together to create the finished glowing sculpture. Construction time is about 30-40 minutes, but the directions are very clear with detailed photographs of each step.
Each lamp will set you back a cool $20, and, obviously, I want all three. Now I'm not saying I've never made love to a lamp shade before, because I totally have. But I actually like these ones enough to call them the morning after. You hear that, banker's lamp shade? Your green ass meant nothing to me!
Thanks to ryco, virus and Watch-303, who know what I like. I like pizza!
Aug 4 2009 Okay: Lamps That Look Like Security Cameras
The Antrepo 'I'm Not A Security Camera' is a desk lamp in the form factor of a security camera. Set it on the desk or hang it on the wall -- either way you'll think twice before looking at what you and I both know you looked at online while at work. Tsk, tsk. Plus, it might help deter stapler theft. Better than a loaded gun? No, but safer. Remember when you shot yourself in the leg trying to fill up a cup at the water cooler? That was funny. Your blood makes me laugh.
Spoticam Lamp [ohgizmo]
Thanks to Steven, who just booby traps everything instead.
Jul 15 2009 Good Enough To Eat: These GummiLights
GummiLights are expensive rubber lamps designed to look like Gummi Bears. Unsurprisingly, I tried to eat one. Shocked? I was. I'll be here all week folks, make sure to tip your waitstaff.
These GummiLights are made of a translucent rubber and measure in at 7-inches tall. They're illuminated by brightly glowing LEDs and come in a variety of candy-like colors, including red, orange, yellow, clear, blue, purple and pink. Each one is powered by rechargeable lithium batteries, and can run for about 20 hours on a charge.
A single bear will set you back $125 or you can get a set of 5 for $500. But, if you want something that'll really light up the night, you're gonna need me. I'm so bright my parents call me son (I'm on a roll today, folks!). Also, "little shit" and "a terrible, terrible mistake". Anybody want to adopt a GW? I spoon.
gummi bear lamps are unfortunately not edible [technabob]
Jan 22 2009 Build Your Own Atari 2600 Controller Lamp
Want to build your own giant Atari 2600 controller lamp? No problem -- all it takes is some power tools, a shit-ton of skill, more patience than my girlfriend, and a month of unemployment. It'll totally be worth it though, right? No, it won't be. And yours will probably look like shit.
Hit the jump for several more of the finished product, along with a link to the very in-depth, and very difficult, instructions.
Continue Reading " Build Your Own Atari 2600 Controller Lamp "
Jun 27 2008 Cassette Lamps: Cooler Than 8-Track Lamps
Some designers over at Transparent House have come up with a pretty clever way of recycling old cassette tapes. Not as clever as shooting them off your fence from the back porch, but still pretty clever. They're making lamps. That's right, lamps. You know, illumination devices. As you can see from the picture, they cast pretty cool shadows on the walls. But I don't think they're for sale, so if you're interested you'll have to make one yourself. But please, don't be a dipshit and use opaque tapes like I did.
Hit the jump for several more pictures.
Continue Reading " Cassette Lamps: Cooler Than 8-Track Lamps "
May 6 2008 Duck Hunt Lamp Is Looking Zappertastic
Based on the picture quality this thing could have been made 450 years ago. But I doubt it because the Nintendo Zapper and Duck Hunt didn't exist until at least the mid 1800's*. So we'll just assume the picture was taken with a pinhole camera made out of a Quaker Oats canister that someone forgot to eat all the oats out of first. It's a Duck Hunt/Zapper lamp. It looks good. I'd make one and put it in the living room but I'd stumble into the end table drunk one night and destroy it. That and I'm not sure how I feel about desecrating old school Nintendo cartridges (okay, the lamp's base is actually larger than a real game and made out of cardboard) and peripherals to make household objects. Well, except for the Power Glove. Sweetest oven mitt ever.
I Love Duck Hunt Lamp [albotas]
Apr 24 2008 Fat Lamp Is Like A Lava Lamp But Not Really
The Fat Lamp (aka the Slow Glow Light) is filled with fat. When you turn it on the bulb inside melts the fat, rendering it more transparent, and the light gets brighter. Each one cost a staggering $774, so you're definitely better off stealing fat from a liposuction clinic (a la Fight Club) and making your own.
this unique lamp is also a great discussion piece and easily lends itself to artistic interpretation. for example, the slow glow lamp is sluggish and fat-representative of our current culture (at least here in the united states). feel free to develop your own interpretation of this thought-provoking light!
Hey, I've got an one: It's a gross freaking lamp filled with fat. It represents some dumb asshole willing to part with $774 for a glass orb filled with my girlfriend's old stomach. That said, I'd buy one if they were cheaper.
One more picture after the jump.
Continue Reading " Fat Lamp Is Like A Lava Lamp But Not Really "
Feb 19 2008 Man Creates Lamp Powered By Gravity
2007 Virginia Tech graduate Clay Moulton recently won second place in the Greener Gadgets Design Competition in New York City for the Gravia gravity lamp. According to my dictionary gravity is defined as "The natural force of attraction between the earth and my penis that makes it drag on the ground when I walk."
The lamp's electricity is generated by the slow fall of a mass that spins a rotor. The resulting energy powers 10 high-output LEDs that fire into the acrylic lens, creating a diffuse light. The operation is silent and the housing is elegant and cord free -- completely independent of electrical infrastructure.
To activate the lamp you simply move the weights from the bottom to the top, where they start their 4 hour trip down the tube. The light output will be close to that of a 40-watt incandescent bulb and Moulton estimates the device could have a lifespan in excess of 200 years (with the LEDs being the first components to go). A patent is currently pending for the lamp, and I hope to see them on shelves soon. And you know what else I hope to see on shelves soon? Girlscout cookies. It's annoying how you have to wait for the scouts to come around selling them. I think I missed them this year. I need those things damnit. The wife is getting very bent out of shape without her thin mints. Shes says she'll kill me if I can't produce a box by the end of the week.
Greener Gadgets Design Competition [core77]
via
Virginia Tech News Story
Thanks to Kathleen, who appreciates awesome green gadgets, for the tip
Feb 18 2008 Broom Lamps Are WTF I Mean Come On
These are Brooms Of Light. They're brooms. They're lights. They're ridiculous. Each one packs a 6 watt low-energy bulb and "gives a surprisingly nice ambiance light".(?) They come in white, green and red and go with just about any decor in your closet. The best part is that buying one will only set you back $176. So you can get five of them for under a grand. Awesome, I know. I just bought them out.
Product Page
Thanks to Dolores, who would make a great president, for the tip
Jan 17 2008 Lightsaber Lamp Gets Knocked Over Easily
Star Wars Lightsaber Lamps are made by NCSX and cost $23. They stand 16" tall, come in green or red and run off AAA batteries. You know what else they run off? Your girlfriend, because she won't stick around long if you start decorating your pad with these things. Actually, that might not be entirely true. If you keep one as a bedside lamp, you may be able to introduce her to the pleasure of the dark side. If you catch my drift. Did you catch it? No? I'm saying use it as a dildo.
lightsaber lamps for true star wars geeks [technabob]
Jan 7 2008 Arts And Crafts Time: Melted LEGO Lamp
Two LEGO posts in a row, hot dog! Now I'm pretty sure melting LEGO blocks into a massive gaudy mess of a lampshade is sacrilegious, so I'm posting this with the hope that someone out there will beat up the person responsible for this atrocity. Why not just make a LEGO lamp? That would be cool. Putting a bunch of LEGO blocks into round cake pan and baking them in the oven is not. It's sad and it makes me angry. While I'd never wish anyone harm (despite my prior statement), I do hope that melting LEGO blocks give off some sort of sterilizing gas so this person can't reproduce.
Melted LEGO Lamp [geekalerts]
Dec 7 2007 TwistTogether Lamps Look Pretty Okay
TwistTogether lamps twist together. Each brick has several twist-together points and can be attached to one another in a variety of different positions. You can connect as many sets together as you want. The company is releasing wall mounts, shelving modules, and a bunch of other exciting new accessories for the line soon. A set comes with four bricks and costs $109. Which is a little steep for a lamp. But what the hell, Christmas is coming. I'm going to get some for the kids' room. Wait, no, I remodeled that room. Now it's my porn palace and LEGO modeling area. Well, I'll still get some for the kids anyways. I reckon their shed out back needs some light.
Please note: The geekologie writer does not have any kids. And if he did they wouldn't live in a shed. That would be cruel to a child. That's why their mother would live there.
Video of lots of lamp twisting action after the jump.
Nov 7 2007 Candlelight Lamp: You'll Lose The Matchstick
The Hono Candlelight is a 10" tall lamp that lights up at the top when you touch it with the "magical matchstick". To turn it off you blow on it. Pretty clever. Except you're going to lose the matchstick. Then it magically transforms from a $64 novelty lamp into a $64 flat-ended dildo.
One more picture of a bunch of them after the jump.
Continue Reading " Candlelight Lamp: You'll Lose The Matchstick "
Oct 17 2007 Flip Mr. P's Nose Sized Unit To Turn Him On
Mr. P is a special lamp. You have to flip his penis to turn him on. When you do his head lights up in embarrassment -- because his dangle-down in so small! He costs $110, and comes with a removable shade in case you want to spare him the shame. Truthfully, I don't think he is ashamed. Look at his stance -- does that look like the posture of someone who is embarrassed with their dong? I think not! Oh wait, he's frowning. That poor small penised bastard. He should be ashamed.
The Mr P. Lamp makes you laugh when you turn it (him) on [shinyshiny]
Sep 26 2007 Wind Up Lamp Is A Lamp You Wind Up
The wind up lamp, designed by Yuko Tagushi, is very cool. It runs off a high carbon tensile steel spring. As the spring unwinds, it powers a small electric generator, producing enough power to keep the light on. When the key winds down, it's lights out. The only problem is, I have to keep the light on all night. The last time I slept in the dark I dreamed I ate a pound of horrible chocolate pudding. I woke up the next morning with a spoon in my ass. True story.
Wind Up Lamp Is A Lamp You Wind Up [ohgizmo]
Sep 24 2007 Stress Relieving Lamp-Pillow-Warmer Things
Superpatatas are lamp blobs created by Spanish product designer Hector Serrano. Playing with them makes the light brighter. They can also be used as squeezable stress relievers, pillows, or bed warming devices. I think they're pretty neat, and I'd get some, except I'm done with cords and broken glass. No cords or broken glass in this ass. That's a new motto of mine. Of course I would make an exception if they feel like a woman's booby.
