Sep 8 2009 WTF Is Wrong With You?: Twlight Corn Maze
This is a Twilight themed corn maze in Utah (a state best known for people forgetting is a state) celebrating the new movie that's coming out later this year that I, for one, can't wait to see (read: I'd rather have ants eat my eyeballs while I'm awake and screaming and a dominatrix hammers at my junk with a meat tenderizer). I just put this up for you ladies out there that are in love with this garbage and know what 'Team Jacob' means. Because I sure as hell don't. *Googling* Holy shit, this teen-wolf character actually sounds pretty cool. NOOOOOOT. High five for the oldschool burn!
Also, haiku contest winners will be announced later tonight (I still have 400 haikus left to read).
'Twilight' fans can get happily get lost in corn [ohnotheydidnt]
Thanks to pstone, who has never run through a cornfield backwards but has been to prison. Similar feelings.
Aug 21 2009 Does The Dissolving Bikini Really Work?
This is a teaser trailer for a video demonstrating whether or not the dissolving bikini I posted earlier actually works. SPOILER ALERT: It does. Except it's way freaking lame and the whole bikini doesn't actually dissolve, just a couple small bands holding it on. Go HERE to see the full video, which is advertised as SFW but I'm pretty sure I saw a nipple at 0:31. Yep, there it is. Also, there's a NSFW version HERE which has a lot more nipples. Which, I think we can all agree, are what Fridays are all about...
...
...
...
...to the nudey bar! You're driving.
Video: Clint test de oplosbare bikini [clint]
Thanks to Jef, who makes bikinis disappear the old fashioned way: with x-ray vision.
Jul 30 2009 Pikachu Was The Hottest Girl At Comic-Con?
According to who? Because I don't remember getting a ballot. Or past security. But there's a bunch more shots of Pikachu girl Jessica Nigri after the jump so you can draw your own conclusions. Personally, I prefer the original Pikachu girl (this one, not this one) better. And I'm not just saying that because I know her, but I do. And before you ask, no, she sadly doesn't do birthdays.
Hit it for a whole bunch more.
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Jul 29 2009 Caring Means Sharing: Gaming In Love
Is that not the cutest thing you've ever seen? I swear, if one had a puppy in her lap I would be crying right now. Which *sniff* I am totally not. Punch the tears back, GW, punch the tears back. AAAAAAAHHH -- POW POW POW!!
This Is How Two Girls Play Gameboy When They Really Love Each Other [gizmodo]
Jul 27 2009 Gallery: Sexy Comic-Con Cosplay Girls
Remember last year's girls of Comic-Con gallery? Well MaximumPC went above and beyond the call of duty this year with over 600 cosplay pictures from the event. I ran through them all and randomly grabbed about 20 of the sexiest, but there are a ton more to see, so hit the jump for my favorites, and the link for the rest. One thing is for certain though: THIS GUY IS GOING TO COMIC-CON next year. And he is going to have a booth. A KISSING ONE. Ladies -- do I hear a nickel?
Jump. But warning: there's a thong in the mix. Because I love you.
Jul 19 2009 Hot Dog!: Weinermobile Crashes Into Home
One of the iconic Oscar Meyer Wienermobiles crashed into a Wisconsin home on Friday, following a failed turn-around.
Police say the driver was trying to turn the Wienermobile around in the driveway and thought she was moving in reverse. But she instead went forward and hit the home. It sat in the driveway as if it were stuck in the garage Friday afternoon.
Ha, women. I can't believe we still issue them licenses. But seriously, if any of you ladies need a hot dog parked in your garage, call me. I'm sensitive to a woman's needs.
Wienermobile Crashes Into Wisconsin Home [foxnews]
Thanks to Dustin, FDSY, Masami and phil, who prefer to park it around back.
Jul 16 2009 The World's Most Perfectly Spherical Balls
Meteorologists at Australia's Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization have created the world's most perfectly spherical balls out of silicon. Next, breasts.
This is one of the two most perfect spheres ever. Exactly one kilogram--Imperial units be damned forever--smooth to the nearest 0.0000000003 meter (1.18110236 × 10-8 inches), and round to within 0.00000005 meters (1.96850394 × 10-6 inches).
Nice try guys, but I've been told more than once that I, in fact, have the nicest set in the galaxy. Back me up in the comments, ladies.*
*Any unflattering comments will be deleted. I'm looking at you, Carol. And you, Josh.
Hit the jump for one more shot.
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Jul 8 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Twi-Hard Tattoo Gallery
This is a massive gallery of chicks with Twilight tattoos. Because Twilight is like the female equivalent of blowing shit up with fireworks for a guy. Most of the tattoos are quotes and the book cover art. This one about the lion falling in love with the lamb seems to be particularly popular. And guess what ladies? That's not romantic. You see, I fell in love with a lamb once AND NOW I'M BANNED FROM THE PETTING ZOO. Miss you, Bleaty.
Hit it for all the ink.
Continue Reading " Sure, Why Not?: Twi-Hard Tattoo Gallery "
Jun 23 2009 The Kush: $55 Nighttime Breast Support
The Kush is a $55 (PLUS S&H!) piece of molded plastic women put between their breasts before bed to "gently support and cushion the weight of a woman's breasts". $55, really? For $10 I'll come over and slip my own, much more natural breast supporter between those puppies. Obviously, I'm talking about a rolling pin. Ladies? Come on -- I'll let you make cookies in the morning!
Kush infomercial makes everyone feel good [adfreak]
Thanks to Todd and Jcon, who are selling empty soda cans for $5. But if you're worried your breasts might crush a can, call me.
Jun 17 2009 Looking For Trouble: Underwear Purses
These Underwear Purses from Parcel are purses that look like kid's underwear. They're not made from real underwear though because then they'd be all pee-stained and skidmark-y. They cost about $11. But I've got to warn you: the last time I was caught out in public toting around a bunch of kid's underwear, I have never touched children's underwear.
Jun 10 2009 I'd Have Never Missed An Episode: What If The Enterprise Was Run By Sexy Ladies?
This is a moderately NSFW video showing what life would be like on the Enterprise if it was partially run by scantily clad womens. Although truthfully, Deanna Troi was more than enough sexy lady/Betazoid hybrid for me. Yow yow! And how about when she and Worf were getting it on? Geekologie Writer's Log, Stardate 47988.0: Double boner.
Thanks to darkfall13, who was all about some Beverly Crusher.
Jun 5 2009 Need A Terrible Jabba The Hutt Costume?
If so, you're in luck because the $70 Jabba the Hutt Supreme Edition costume is just that. Jesus, I'd hate to see what the non-supreme edition looks like.
Become one of the richest gangsters of a Galaxy Far, Far Away with the Jabba the Hutt Supreme Edition Costume! This full-body costume will transform you into the famous Hutt with a body piece (complete with tail), headpiece, and a battery-operated fan to keep you cool.
Ha, I've got news for you: no amount of fans is gonna keep you cool if you buy this costume. Unless you somehow finagle some Princess Leia cosplay action out of the deal, in which case, I'm in. Now, GW the Hutt needs some bikini-clad slaves. Ladies?
Product Site
via
Jabba the fursuit [boingboing]
Thanks to Mark, who once bounty hunted the last dinosaur and broke my heart in the process.
May 13 2009 Thank You, Readers: Geekologie Fan Art
This is a picture of yours truly created by loyal Geekologie Reader (and deviant artist) cool-slayer. She actually knows what I look like too, so it's pretty accurate. So yeah, for all of you out there who were wondering, I wear an Alabama hat and an 'I Heart Dinos' shirt. And my heart on my sleeve, so be gentle with it. It's been broken before, you know. Heartworms. It's rare but it happens!
Hit the jump for two more pieces of fan art, including a misspelled Geekologie created by playing that ridiculous full-screen Tetris game.
Apr 1 2009 Shii, The Controversial Wii For Her
This is a foreign commercial for the Shii, a Wii for her. It's wrong on every level and the games are all super-sexist. Which I 100% don't approve of, except for the cooking and cleaning ones, which seemed alright. Oh, and the last one. But besides those it's an awful concept. And sexist. Which, again, I don't approve of. Ladies?
Shii : enfin une Wii pour les femmes! [dailymotion]
Thanks to VS, who once threw a Wiimote through the glass ceiling.
Mar 4 2009 Star Trek Inspired Colognes Coming Soon To A Galaxy Near You (Hint: The Milky Way)
What could possibly be better than smelling like the original Star Trek television series? Nothing! Well, besides smelling like me. *WHIFF* Mmmm, chili-cheese dogs. Really drives the bitches wild. I'm serious, Chloe and Ginger are literally fighting over my shirt. CUT IT OUT YOU TWO -- no walk later unless you're good! Created by Genki Wear, there will be three different scents to choose from:
Tiberius
The Tiberius cologne, named in honor of the Mirror Universe James T. Kirk's challenges users to "Boldly Go" with a perfume described as being spiked with "notes of freshness and sensuality.
Red Shirt
Genki's "Red Shirt" cologne (whose tag line "Because Tomorrow May Never Come" is priceless) celebrates the sacrifices of those often nameless crew of the USS Enterprise. Described appropriately as a cologne for those with a "devotion to living each day as it could be your last" the cologne has top notes of green mandarin, bergamot, and lavender, with base notes of leather and grey musk.
Pon Farr
The most risqué titled of the new Star Trek fragrances is "Ponn Farr" which is a perfume designed to "drive him wild." It should only be used once every seven years (okay, that isn't true). Named for the Vulcan mating ritual first introduced in the episode "Amok Time," this perfume is one of the newly designed products meant to appeal to female fans.
Eh, I'm not crazy about any of them. No, I think I'll be saving my fragrance dollar for Eau de KHAAAAAAAN!
Hit the jump for a picture of Tiberius.
Feb 20 2009 Toasty: Bra Dryer Heats Your Hooter Holsters
The BraDryer concept is a dryer for your lacy boulder holders. The ones you don't want going in the regular dryer. As you can see, it looks like a pair of knockers, which led to this burn on my hand. Obviously, it was worth it. *TSSSSSSS* I copped another one!
Bra Dryer is the Most Useful Device Shaped Like a Pair of Boobs Ever [gizmodo]
Thanks to Crystal, who gets to see real boobs all the time because shes has some. Unfortunately, so do I. :(
Feb 9 2009 Ties: Because Your Neck Deserves A Flag
These $25 ties are made out of 100% synthetic materials, feature classic video game scenes, and can be purchased from a tribe of warrior women. Plus, they're absolutely perfect for the tech blogger who wants to pretend he's a businessman. I'll admit it: I love playing dress up. I have three older sisters so I spent much of my youth parading around the house in a dress with makeup caked all over me. Ahh, those were the days. Now I lay around the apartment in my boxers and have to wait for my girlfriend to go to work before I can even put one of her bras on. It's stifling -- and, damnit, she wore my favorite pumps to work today.
Stylish Classic Gaming Ties [ohgizmo]
Jan 26 2009 UPDATE: Gallery Of Sexy Stormtroopers
GALLERY SLIIIGHTLY NSFW FOR A FEW WOMEN IN CONSERVATIVE LINGERIE.
I have never been more confused by a picture in my entire life. I mean, WTF is going on there? I dunno, but it does remind me of the time I caught a creep trying to sniff my bicycle seat. So you know what I did? I rang my little bell and kept riding. BRRRING BRRRING!
Hit the jump for a bunch more "sexy" stormtroopers, a couple of which made my penis cry.
UPDATE: Couple more pictures added.
Nov 26 2008 Israeli Software 'Beautifies' Ugly Faces
A group of Israeli computer scientists think they've developed a program that can beautify a human face based on the innate preferences humans have. As you can see from the "beautified" Mona Lisa there, they've failed. I could have done a better job in Microsoft Paint.
"We were able to fit a mathematical model to this set of data that we've gathered, namely the images that we showed to people and their responses in terms of the beauty scores that they chose to give to each image," said Lischinksi.
Um, dude? Your mathematical model blows monster dino-dick.
The team then applied the model to modify images so as to make them appear more attractive. They are now exploring a variety of potential commercial applications for the software, Lischinski said."This is something we're looking into," he said. It remains to be seen whether women would simply use the improved image as a guide to more effective makeup application or whether people take it to a plastic surgeon and say: "Make me look like that."
Ladies, this is such garbage -- you're all beautiful just the way you are. Especially naked. And I mean that.
Keep the pictures coming.
Hit the jump for a real human face comparison.
Continue Reading " Israeli Software 'Beautifies' Ugly Faces "
Nov 6 2008 I Dare Say Old Bean, Beautiful Keyboard
Well, it's been a little while since we've kicked it oldschool style here on Geekologie, so let's take it back to '79 -- 1879 -- with this steampunkified ergonomic keyboard.
This keyboard was commissioned by a female client and has some elegant, feminine design features such as violet LEDs, an acanthus-leaf pattern etched into the brass, and a soft burgundy wrist pad that is removable for cleaning. It also has a built-in "buttonless" touchpad mouse in the center (tap anywhere to left-click and drag, tap in the top-right corner to right-click). This keyboard is interesting because the typing plane is actually tipped forward rather than back. It looks odd at first, but actually makes for a very comfortable typing position.
Sweet, but where do you put the coal? Plus -- wait a minute -- chicks are into this whole steampunk thing? *donning tophat and monocle* Laaaaadies? No, I'm not Mr. Peanut!
Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures, including what the original keyboard looked like.
Continue Reading " I Dare Say Old Bean, Beautiful Keyboard "
