Oct 14 2009 We're As Good As Dead: Robots Driving Tank

MORE: army , bad ideas , dangerous , frightening , funny , future technology , game over man , hoax? , killing machines , looks real to me , nightmares , not good , pew pew , photoshop , picture , please be fake , robots , tank , uh-oh , who let them drive that thing?

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We can only pray this is an elaborate Photoshop hoax or we're all as good as dead. Well, you are, I'm as bad as dead. And twice as bad as that nancy Leroy Brown. That jive-talking mother ain't got nothin' on me!

Picture [pictureisunrelated]

Thanks to Daniel, who actually is meaner than a junkyard dog and once pushed an old lady into traffic.

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Jun 15 2009 Alleged Anti-Stab Knife Won't Stab To Kill

MORE: blood , hmm , hole , iffy , interesting , killing machines , kitchen , knife , personal safety , questionable , safety , sharp , stabbing , stabby , sure why not

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Allegedly this New Point knife was designed to be unable to stab someone to death. Questionable, I know.

Mr Cornock, 42, from Swindon, said that the knife will cut vegetables, but will make it almost impossible to stab someone to death and will reduce the risk of accidental injuries.


He said: "It can never be a totally safe knife, but the idea is you can't inflict a fatal wound. Nobody could just grab one out of the kitchen drawer and kill someone.

I call shenanigans. There's no such thing as a stab-proof knife. I could hands-down kill somebody (or something -- I'm looking at you, zombie robot) with this thing. Shit, one time I stabbed a guy to death with a brick.

First Anti-Stab Knife Prevents Deadly Kitchen "Accidents" [gizmodo]

Thanks to Pew³, who doesn't need knives because the dude's made of lasers.

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Mar 11 2009 They're After Our Children!: Robot Substitute

MORE: apocalypse , bad decisions , bad ideas , children , doomsday , fear , japan , kids , killing machines , learning is dangerous , learning is fun , not fun , not good , robotic death , robots , scary , school , teacher , uh-oh , what are we teaching our children?

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Have kids? Well you won't for long if Saya, the robot substitute, has her way. The harbinger of death is allegedly multilingual, capable of calling roll, reading, and assigning work from textbooks. Also, scaring the shit out of your children.

Behind her latex face -- modeled on a university student -- 18 motors create expressions including happiness, surprise, fear, disgust, sadness and even anger.


Saya will start teaching after passing a trial term at a Tokyo primary.

Her creator, science professor Hiroshi Kobayashi, had been working on the robot for 15 years.

Wow, robotic substitutes -- what will they think of next? Robotic cafeteria ladies? That would suck, because I'm a boy that needs extra fish sticks, and you can't bribe a robot. Or can you? Hey Roomba, I'll oil you if you clean under the bed really well. *BEEP BOP BEEP* DOES NOT COMPUTE. You piece of shit, I knew I never should have WOOTed you.

Hit the jump to see what your robotic substitute looks like with no face.

Continue Reading " They're After Our Children!: Robot Substitute "

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