Mar 3 2009 Failure At Life Stuffs Six-Month Old Kitten In World's Worst Homemade Bong To 'Calm It'
20-year old Acea Shomaker is a failure at life who shouldn't even be allowed to have a cat. I mean Jesus, just look at that bong. Pathetic.
Deputies discovered the cat trapped in the device after responding to a domestic disturbance call at a home that Schomaker shares with his grandfather, Sgt. Andy Stebbing said.
Deputies resolved the dispute and left the house, but they returned minutes later after discovering there was an arrest warrant on Schomaker that alleged possession of drug paraphernalia.Upon re-entering the house, deputies saw Schomaker smoking marijuana through a piece of garden hose duct-taped to a Plexiglass box, in which the cat had been stuffed, Stebbing said.
Shomaker told police the cat was too hyper and he was just trying to calm it down. The kitten is now in good condition in the care of Capital Humane Society. Wow. Now I'm all about some vigilante justice, so I suggest we dose Shomaker with a taste of his own medicine. Namely, we stuff him in a Rubbermaid full of acid. And not the happy face-melting kind either. I'm talking the real face-melting stuff -- that hydrochloric joint. IT BUUUUUURNS!
Hit the jump to see the kitty and the face of a failure.
Jan 28 2009 Fail: A Lesson In How Not To Kill Yourself
If you want to kill yourself by driving your beautifully rusting 1987 Dodge van off a cliff, make sure you catch enough air to not end up teetering on the edge of a precipice.
34-year-old Daniel J. Lyons and his sweet 1987 Dodge van bounced down the rocky side of the canyon at Colorado National Monument park this past Wednesday only to be brought to an abrupt halt by an outcropping. Rescue workers found him teetering over the 170-foot drop. Eventually, a litter was lowered over the edge and Lyons was pulled to safety.
Lyons is adamant the incident was an accident, but investigators couldn't find any skid marks or other signs of mishap, indicating this was, in fact, likely a suicide attempt. The van will remain perched on the cliff below Rim Rock Drive until authorities find a way to remove it or gravity has its way.
Jesus, I can think of a lot better ways to go than driving a perfectly good van off a cliff. Including, and currently limited to: mailing yourself. To the sun.
Hit the jump for a couple more amazing pictures.
Continue Reading " Fail: A Lesson In How Not To Kill Yourself "
Jan 16 2009 Optimouse Prime: The Mickey Transformer
Apparently this Mickey Mouse-Transformer mashup was on display at this week's Tokyo Toy Forum and is being manufactured for sale late next month. The morphing mouse will set you back about 40 pieces of cheese and is perfect for both Disney and Transformer fans. Plus, if you know somebody who's both, you can count it as both their birthday AND Christmas presents. Sure that would make you a giant cheapskate, but who cares, I already saw you taking extra hot sauce packets from Taco Bell. Haha, you thought I didn't notice, did you, you little cheapskate?*
*Bring me some Fire.
DeceptaToon: Mickey Mouse Transformer debuts in Japan [dvice]
Thanks to Riche-con-carnie, who would probably taste great with a little extra hotsauce.
Oct 31 2008 Happy Halloween!: A Scary Dancing Robot
Ah, Halloween. The holiday where I dress up like a ninja turtle and all the girls dress up down to see who can wear the least amount of clothes possible. And they still have the nerve to tell me to watch where I'm swinging my nunchucks (I'm Michelangelo, damnit!). Well, to herald in this holiest of holy days, here comes a scary video of a dancing hexapod robot. Yeah, one with a freaking human head on top. With glowing red eyes. Just imagine the creepy little bastard scuttling across the floor and humping your leg tonight when you're trying to get your spook on. Oh, oh no --my own vivid imagery just ruined my Halloween pants.
Horrifyingly wonderful hexapod dancing [hackaday]
Thanks Monique and Jason, I'll be sleeping with the lights on tonight.
Oct 2 2008 Aaaaaaah!: Scary Ass Robot Girl
This is a robot girl named Repliee R-1. She's an android built by Osaka University and based on an actual 5-year old girl. And I think I speak for everyone when I say they chose their model pretty freaking poorly.
Liveleak
Thanks to Firuz, Tytus, Jake, and Justin, who all agree the only good robot is -- wait, there are no good robots.
Jun 20 2008 Realistic Niko Bellic From GTA4, And Stewie
Well it's been a little while since we've seen some sweet Pixeloo untoonage here on Geekologie. And since today is Friday and I'm already six dryer sheets to the wind, I figured now is as good a time as any to take light some romantic candles and take a milk bath. While not really a toon, this is a realistic rendering of what Niko Bellic might look like after he just cracked his knuckles and is preparing to "kill that ass mad dead." He looks good. Reminds me of myself. I'm handsome and rugged and wear turtlenecks. Seriously though Niko, you can see straight to my soul with that stare of yours, can't you? What does it look like? I always imagined it as a white hazy light that kind of pulsates. Just a giant turd, huh? Damn.
Hit the jump for the FRIDAY BONUS PICTURE of Stewie from Family Guy untooned. It's scary as hell!
Continue Reading " Realistic Niko Bellic From GTA4, And Stewie "
May 5 2008 Oh No!: Lethal Injection Attack Droid Prototype
This is a robotic art piece made by Christopher Conte. Christopher must be seriously f***ed in the head to be making stuff like this. I'm not sure what the deeper meaning of the piece is, but my guess is "robots are going to kill us all". Or maybe it's something about how if a robot kills you then a person doesn't have to and they can sleep at night. But what the hell do I know, I'm no art critic. I'm just a guy that hates robots, needles, crying babies, and my life. Just take me already you stupid Lethal Injection Attack Prototype Droid. Wait -- I just won $3 on a lottery scratcher! I'm on top of the world! Oh, I paid $5 for the ticket. Proceed little robot.
A couple more pics of the freaky thing, and a link to Christopher's portfolio with a bunch more scary robots, after the jump.
Continue Reading " Oh No!: Lethal Injection Attack Droid Prototype "
Mar 25 2008 Man Allegedly Kills Himself With A Robot
Allegedly an 81 year-old man in Australia killed himself with a robot that he found the plans to build on the internet. The robot held a .22 pistol and fired when the dude pushed a button or something. Now call me crazy, but I don't think we're getting the full story here.
Evidence: 81 year-olds don't know how to use the internet. If they do it's to sign on to AOL and download a shit-ton of viruses or give their bank account information to a Nigerian exile.
Evidence: No 81 year-old can build a robot. All the geriatrics I know don't do anything but piss themselves and suck at guessing prices on The Price Is Right because their brains are so f***ed.
So what can we conclude from this? Government. Conspiracy. Just kidding. But I will tell you what really happened. This man obviously built the robot a long time ago, when he was still reasonably sane (probably in his late 40's - 50's). Then his hearing started to go. Over the years he had to turn the volume on the television up louder and louder in order to watch Matlock and old Westerns. One day the robot got fed up with the noise, ordered a gun online, and blasted him. Case. Closed.
Is This Rubbish Bin a Suicide Machine? [boingboing]
Picture (minus that awesome gun I added) via Emily O on Flickr
Dec 13 2007 Gold Pills Are, Um, I Don't Even Know What
These $425 capsules are dipped in and filled with 24-karat gold and you're supposed to eat them to "increase your self-worth". Which isn't true, because if you do ingest them you'll just be increasing your "self-stupidity" and "self-flushing-money-down-the-toilet". I'll kill you if you buy them. Just down a jar of gold glitter if you're that hell-bent on having gold shit, it's a lot cheaper. My fiancé demanded I buy her a capsule, because she thinks she's all high-class and can just waste my money. Well she'll be getting the gold glitter treatment, because I sure as hell am not paying for these. She hasn't noticed the diamond in her engagement ring is just a piece of glass from a broken windshield, so I think I'll be fine.
Gold Pill makes you poop glitter for $425 [dvice]
thanks to Jacob and JohnyG30 for the tips
