Sep 24 2009 Remove The Knuckles And The Fingers Will Die: Hardcore Zombie Tattoo
Wait, so does that mean he IS a zombie? Beause it doesn't say '#1 zombie slaya', it just says 'zombie'. Who knows, maybe he didn't have enough fingers for all that. Or brains. Get it? Zombie joke!
Thanks to Emma, who once brained a zombie with a frying pan and didn't even lose the eggs she was cooking. Over-easy, Emma.
Sep 17 2009 Zombie Shooting Targets Now Available
Tired of shooting at the same boring silhouettes when you're getting your gun on? Well why not prepare for the imminent zombie apocalypse and get your pew on at the same time with these zombie-themed shooting targets?
Full color Zombie Poster Targets. Designed for fun at the range or for your next league's Zombie Shoot. Features shaded scoring lines in both head & brain that cannot be seen at shooting distances.
Prices start at $1.50 a pop and decrease with quantity ordered. I just bought 1,000 so I could get them for $0.69 AND I DON'T EVEN OWN A GUN! Now lasers, lasers are a different story. You will never take them from me! I'm looking at you, future Amendment XXXII. Cold dead hands, just sayin'. *pew pew!*
Thanks to Patrick, who once beat a paper zombie target to death with a shovel. You know, for principle.
Aug 17 2009 Canadians Create Mathematical Model For Successfully Surviving Zombie Apocalypse
Since there's no hockey on some Canadian mathematicians have shifted their efforts to creating a mathematical model for surviving the zombie uprising. And you said nothing good ever came out of Canada! That guy, right there -- he's the one that said it. GET HIM, CANUCKS!
Anyway, the model focuses on modern zombies, which are "very different from the voodoo and the folklore zombies." It takes into account the possibility of quarantine (could lead to eradication, but unlikely to happen) and treatment (some humans survive, but they still must coexist with zombies), but shows that there is only one strategy likely to succeed: "impulsive eradication."
"Only sufficiently frequent attacks, with increasing force, will result in eradication, assuming the available resources can be mustered in time," they concluded.
Pfft, I came up with a better model than that. It goes like this: me + shovel = zombie - head. Zombie - head = that zombieskin rug I've always wanted in front of the fire place! Now, who wants to make out on top of it?!? I'm not sick, you're sick.
Mathematical Model for Surviving a Zombie Attack [wired]
Thanks to Dahbie, who will survive the apocalypse no matter what because of jet propulsion (I'm coming with you).
Jun 19 2009 Augmented Reality Zombie Hunting Game
This is a video of an augmented reality game designed by the Georgia Tech Augmented Environments Lab and the Savannah College of Art and Design - Atlanta. It's called 'ARhrrrr', which, despite sounding piratey, is actually a zombie game. It's pretty cool too. You play the game with a video phone and a pack of Skittles. I shit you not, Skittles. Taste THIS rainbow, undead whores! BOOSH BOOSH!
Thanks to Ryan, Yopoleo and Anna, who will definitely be on my zombie hunting squad should the need arise....from the dead. ZING!
May 4 2009 Uh-Oh: A New 'Zombie' Strain Of Swine Flu
The BBC is reporting a new 'zombie' (H1Z1) strain of swine flu that is capable of resuscitating the recently dead. Holy sawed-off shotgun shit!
After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it's victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during "resurrection."
If you haven't guessed, this is fake as hell, but the story looks like a genuine BBC article (see picture). The only catch is it's hosted on another website (bounce.with.me.uk). Still, you can probably trick at least a few of your dumber friends into buying it. And, if they do fall for it (and they are ladies), I want you to convey a message for me: I'm the world's greatest lover.
EU quarantines London in flu panic [bouncwith]
Thanks to herbert, Trin, Alex 'Bloody Shadow' and andrew, who tricked all their friends into drinking the Kool-Aid and are now all friendless.
May 3 2009 Zombie Defense Training For Little Kids
This is a video of some little Japanese kids being trained to fight zombies. And let me tell you -- they are cute as little buttons. Remember folks, teach your kids how to properly protect themselves against attacks from the undead. Because otherwise you're gonna have to explain to your parents how a zombie ate their grandchild. And they will be pissed.
Thanks to Shun, whose children are all comfortable wielding sawed-off shotguns.
Feb 7 2009 eBay: Vampire Killing Kit Perfect For Bedroom
We've featured a couple other vampire killing kits (not to mention zombie killing ones) here on Geekologie, but I particularly like this one because it's nice and discreet. Typically, it just looks like an old art print (lower right in photo), but slide the front off and TA-DOW -- a mirror, cross, garlic, holy water and stake.
So the next time your suspicious friend who only comes over after dark and stares at your neck is in your room, whip out the mirror from this, and if there is no reflection, you'll be glad the rest of what you need is at your fingertips! Yeah!
I've got news for you: if you whip out that mirror and your lady friend doesn't have a reflection, guess what -- you just had sex with a vampire! High-fives all around! Now stake her.
Thanks to Mike, who's never killed a vampire but has slayed two dragons.
Jan 29 2009 Aaaaand The Roadsign Hacking Has Begun
Are you surprised? Of course not. What's there to be surprised about? You post an article about how to hack something, and people try it. Simple as that.
(Traffic Controller Bruce) Jones, who has one of only two keys to the locked access panels on the portable signs, said that the hacker broke into the panels [arguable] on each sign and bypassed the passwords before leaving five different zombie messages and even changing one of the passwords. Jones said he had to wait until 8 a.m. to call the manufacturing company to figure out how to override the hacker's work [Bruce, please see original article]. He speculated that the hacker could be a computer genius from UT.
A computer genius from UT! Or, I dunno, somebody who read an article on the internet. Whatever the case, the zombie thing was cute in the beginning folks, but it's time to start thinking outside the brain. The robots are coming too, you know.
Hit the jump for the other five messages left on the signs and the link to a video news report.
Dec 26 2008 eBay: Pocket Sized Vampire Hunting Kit
Well we've already seen a $15,000 full-sized vampire killing kit. But what if you want something smaller? You know, a little vampire protection that'll fit in your pocket or man-purse? Enter the Vintage Pocket Sized Vampire Slaying Kit.
This is a Vampire killing kit that will travel with you, cause you never know when you may need it. It measures 6 5/8 inches long, and 1 1/4 inch square. One of a kind for sure.
The crucifix is from Paris, as stamped on the back of it, and it is obviously old. The Box also appears very old. The vials are brass, and contain Holy Water in the one with the copper tag with the "H" stamped on it, and the other vial has "G"stamped on it for garlic. The vial corks are sealed in red wax. A small wooden stake completes the set. A "V" is stamped on the copper plate on top for "Vampire".The parts, crucifix, wood box, screws, and metals used are old and tarnished, and most parts of the set are vintage.
Eh, I'd make my own if I were you. But $20 isn't too bad if you're lazy. You just better hope that holy water isn't urine. I hear vampires love that shit. And speaking of vampires -- the lead in Twilight, so dreamy.*
*This message brought to you by The World For A More Effeminate Geekologie Writer.
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures of the kit, and a link to the auction.
Mar 13 2008 Questionable: Survival Zombie Kit On eBay
Having grown up in the Girl Scouts, I live by the motto: "Target fat people and you'll sell more cookies." And also that one about surviving the zombie apocalypse. Well to help fend of the uprising some guy is selling this Zombie Survival Kit on eBay. It looks pretty questionable if you ask me. I mean it's just a sawed off shotgun with 5 shells. What the hell kind of zombie apocalypse are you going to survive with five shells. At least this kit has 10, plus a knife and riot shield. Bidding is currently at a whopping $255 with 9 freaking days remaining, so apparently it's going to go for a lot more than it's worth. Which, according to my calculations, is the cost of a plastic Airsoft shotgun, five empty shotgun shells, and a picture frame.
eBay Auction
via
Zombie Survival Kit For Sale Now - Be Prepared [gizmodo]
